Chapter 12 – The Whole Truth
Kaide hadn't felt so good in a long time. True, her left arm was still in a sling, and her ribcage felt stiff and sore, but she felt so comfortable, so safe, and for some reason, loved. Kaide opened her eyes, and saw the soft, gentle light of sunrise from the curtained window beside her. There was something familiar about this place, as her refreshed mind recalled some of the events of the night before.
"Nearly didn't make it, did you, Brynn? Fate bought you to me, young child," the voice said, in a motherly voice.
"Brynn..." Kaide murmured. Did her rescuer know her? She certainly recognised her for someone, and now as Kaide tried to sit up, she realised that she was nowhere near as injured as she should've been. Her chest and arm still hurt, but Kaide estimated that it would've taken her a week for these injuries to reach this stage. Unless she had been here for a week.
Kaide groaned as she fell back into the pillows. If she had been here for a week, there was no way that she could find Katsa and Po. Who knew where they would go? Several quiet footsteps alerted Kaide that her rescuer had come into the room. And as soon as Kaide saw her clearly, Kaide felt hope blossom in her chest. Maybe she hadn't been in here as long as she thought.
The woman was medium height and in her early fifties, her hair still a honey blonde streaked with white. Her eyes were mismatched, one a warm brown and the other a lively yellow. She had those wrinkles on her face that made her look like she had laughed a lot, and Kaide could find herself imagining a younger version of this woman, cheerful and laughing. As the woman saw Kaide aware and scrutinising her, she smiled sadly.
"So you're awake, Brynn. You certainly look better. Our Graces combined have healed you in two days what would take an ungraced person several weeks to heal. You are truly fortunate, as am I to see you again," the woman said, sitting on the edge of Kaide's bed and looking at her face. "You look like your parents, young child."
"Why do you call me Brynn?" Kaide croaked, suddenly realising that her voice was dry. The woman smiled as she reached for a cup resting on the table next to the bed where Kaide was lying in, and gave it to her, this time a cheerful smile on her face.
"Drink first," the woman said, as Kaide complied. "I don't expect you to remember me...you were much too young, but I'm Helen, a Graced healer as you may have guessed. I call you Brynn because it's your birth name, the one your parents would've given you if they were lucid. But under Leck's Grace, almost no one was..."
"You know about Leck's Grace?" Kaide asked, astonished. She felt a new respect for this healer, who had clearly fought off Leck's Grace.
"Of course, young child" Helen replied bitterly. "The cause of all of Monsea's issues. I was the personal healer to the King and Queen of the time. I watched as they struggled to have a child. I warned them when Leck came, with his stories, and I grew suspicious of him. He seemed too persuasive, and his missing eye only made me convinced that he was Graced. He soon had my King and Queen under his spell, as they adopted him, forgot about their nation, as Leck played them like puppets. I only realised that he wanted to be King when I saw him feeding seabane to the Queen. He was trying to make sure that she had no children."
"What has that got to do with me? I'm orphaned...aren't I?" Kaide asked. She didn't know the feeling that she had in her chest, only that the barriers that she had erected around her heart, the barriers that she had erected around her emotions were falling. Either way, Kaide knew she would leave Helen changed, she just didn't know if it was for the better.
"You are," Helen confirmed. "Leck killed them. What name do you go by now?"
"Kaide," Kaide whispered. "But this place is familiar. I think I've been here before."
"You're Kaide?" Helen said sharply, looking alarmed. Kaide nodded, wondering at Helen's sudden change of mood. "How did Leck react when he first met you?"
Kaide frowned. It was as if Helen knew why Leck hated her on sight. "It was hate at first sight. My Grace told me what he was. He wanted me dead at that very moment, I could feel it. And there was recognition there, I'm sure of it. I remember the moment so well because going to Monsea with Blai- I mean, a former friend, was one moment in my life I regretted so much. But I had nowhere to go."
"He recognised you, Kaide. You look so much like your mother that the resemblance is clear. It's why I knew who you were when I pulled you out of the lake two nights ago. You sure that no one noticed this?"
Kaide was about to shake her head, until she remember a dim memory that seemed so far away. She remembered feeling angry at Blaire, after she had pointed to a portrait of the former queen and said she looked like her. "No!" Kaide exclaimed in horror. "It can't be...someone would've realised if the Queen was pregnant! Right?"
Helen noticed the fear and horror on Kaide's face, and felt bad for what she was going to say. "Not if they were all under Leck's Grace. He convinced everyone that she wasn't pregnant, and did his best to kill the child growing in her. I pretended not to notice until the night he summoned me to take out the child, and told me to kill it out on the castle grounds. I followed every order that night except when he told me to kill the child. I wrapped her in a blanket and fled that night, Leck instantly realising what had happened. Shortly afterwards, he used his Grace to make the King and Queen fatally ill, and became King a month after that child was born."
"He came after you? Is that how..." Kaide couldn't finish the question. She didn't want, she refused to believe that she was one of those nobles she hated. True, she had quite liked Ashen, and Bitterblue, and even Po and Katsa to some degree, but they were exceptions to the rule, weren't they?
"I believed that when the Queen was pregnant with you, the reason why you didn't die was because your Grace appeared. One blue and one amber eye. Leck must've forced the Grace out, although you've been hiding it well. I wish I could hide my eye colour, Kaide," Helen said wishfully.
"What happened...after?" Kaide asked, curious despite the revulsion she felt.
"I ran here. You must remember this place, because it was here that I raised you for a year. I had always wanted a child, but I never expected to be raising the child of the rulers of Monsea. I planned to raise you so you would reclaim your throne from Leck when you were old enough. But after a year, Leck's men found me. I grabbed my horse and fled to my native Sunder. I knew Suncliff well, and knew that if you were strong you would survive on the streets. It tore my heart to leave you, but I had to do it for your safety. It's only temporary, I had muttered. I believed that I could wait out the storm, fetch you and raise you safely in Suncliff. But when I was finally free to seek you several months later, I could never find you. You were like a daughter to me, and I lost you."
Helen sighed. "Things were bad after that. I returned here and survived. And now, years later, I've found you."
Kaide sat, silent. She didn't know what to do with these revelations. She was partially relieved because she finally knew her heritage, who her parents were, but felt slightly repulsed at the fact that they were...noble. She had met Helen, and for the first time in her life, felt the love of a parental figure. As a child in Sunder, she had the love of the children she grew up with. But this was different. Kaide remained thinking, as the sun rose into midmorning, as Helen remained with her, looking sad.
"It's great to meet you, again," Kaide finally said, as her stomach rumbled. "Don't blame yourself. I turned out alright."
"You're not going to stay for long, won't you?" Helen asked, knowing the answer.
Kaide looked at her squarely in the eye. "I'm going to find some of the best Graced fighters there are in the seven kingdoms, and we're going to kill Leck."
Helen smiled as she got up. "I'll make lunch, and after that we can get packing. I bet you'll want to get out by evening, but you are going to let me make you a dinner feast first."
Kaide smiled back, her facial muscles sore from smiling. "I would like that very much."
"Once you're done, you'll come and visit me, okay?" Helen said, hugging Kaide gently as Kaide felt some pain lance up her left arm. Kaide was impressed with the fact that Helen had barely asked her anything about her past, trusting Kaide to tell her when she was ready.
Kaide nodded, shouldering a new leather bag that Helen had given her with some supplies. She was wearing some clothes that Helen had lent her, and had her rope belt and sword in its familiar position on her hip. Kaide was also impressed to learn that her right arm was basically usable. No intense sword fighting for a week, but otherwise as good as new.
"I'll be more than happy to visit, Helen."
They grinned at each other one last time before Helen sighed. "You should go."
Kaide nodded, pulling out the map of Monsea that Helen had given her. With a final smile, Kaide waved, and once she was far enough, climbed up onto the nearest tree. Kaide let the moonlight light her way as she tried to find the spot where she and Po had fallen off the cliff. Kaide found it, a ten minute climb through the trees. She saw the clear signs where Katsa and Bitterblue had looked after Po, and knew that they would've needed to find a place to stay so Po could heal, but still had a two day disadvantage. Kaide's heart plummeted even further when she caught the clear signs that Leck had passed through here.
Kaide went back to the forest, and climbed as high she could. Finding the compass that Helen had helpfully packed, Kaide navigated north for the rest of the night, hoping that by climbing this high, she could avoid been seen by Leck's men. She found them at dawn, camped in a small clearing, and Kaide was tempted to come down and slit Leck's throat as he slept. But knowing that this was no better than suicide, Kaide allowed herself to climb down, so she was travelling at about five metres off the ground.
Kaide kept travelling for most of the morning, before needing to get out of the forest. She found a small cave with subtle signs of habitation – ash on the floor, where a fire may have been burning. Kaide smiled as she realised that she had found a place where Katsa, Po and Bitterblue had slept the night. Kaide opened up the leather bag on her shoulder, and pulled out one of the fresh meals that Helen had prepared. It was cold, and Kaide didn't want to risk a fire, but it was delicious and ravenous, and combined with the thick clothes that Helen had given her to keep her warm when the snow fell, Kaide felt warm, fuzzy, and sleepy. Exhausted by her night hike through the forest, Kaide fell asleep.
It was evening when Kaide opened her eyes, feeling refreshed. She quickly slung over her shoulder her bag, before checking her sword was in its sheath. Kaide stepped wearily out of the cave, and as she walked towards the forest, she saw no sign that Leck and his men had passed through, even though Kaide was certain that they were nearby. This time, Kaide travelled on the worn trail that led towards the mountains, using every bit of speed and strength from her Grace, and only stopped when the moon was high in the sky.
The location where she had stopped was silent, but Kaide could see a light up ahead. As she walked forward, her hand crept towards the hilt of her sword. At this distance, the light clearly came from a small abandoned looking cabin. Near the cabin, several hundred metres away, was the thundering of a waterfall as it crashed into the pool below. Kaide's senses made time feel as if it were flowing slowly, as she realised there was someone behind her.
Kaide turned around to be met with the loud clang of a sword on sword. Already, Kaide could feel the strain on her shoulder. This feeling wasn't helped with the fact that the person she was fighting was fast – Kaide was faster but her opponent could not only keep up but was stronger. Kaide dived out of the way as a dagger came flying, her senses wide awake and predicting her opponent's moves before they moved. It was only when Kaide looked at her opponent's eyes that she realised who she was fighting. Kaide let herself be disarmed as she looked Katsa squarely in the eyes.
"Don't kill me," Kaide sighed, raising her right arm slowly in truce. It was only then that Katsa noticed her left arm was in a sling, and wondered how she had lasted this long. "I want to chat."
Katsa froze, resisting the urge to stab Kaide through the heart. The last time they met, Kaide had been snooping around Randa's castle and burnt down his stables. She had attacked Po and killed several men from the castle. Kaide had looked like a born and bred killer. But now...Katsa could tell there was something changed in Kaide. There was a suppressed agony in Kaide's eyes that Katsa recognised as pain, and Katsa could see the apology in her face.
"Please, Katsa. I know we didn't meet in exactly the best terms, but I'm in no state to fight you. Ask Po, or Bitterblue. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for trust. I want to help you kill Leck."
It was the venom in Kaide's voice when she mentioned Leck that finally made Katsa believe her. Katsa went and fetched Kaide's sword from where it had flown and gave it to Kaide, who put it in its sheath.
"Thanks," Kaide said as Katsa took her through patches of dead weeds that led to the cabin. "Leck will be here by midmorning, as a warning, so you'll need to leave soon."
Katsa remained silent as she entered the cabin. Po was lying, asleep on the only bed in the wooden cabin. Bitterblue was sitting on a dusty chair, and Kaide gingerly put her bag on a cabinet that leaned on three legs. Kaide faced Bitterblue, glad she was alright.
"I'm glad you're alright, Bitterblue," Kaide smiled. Seeing Bitterblue made her remember her own parentage, and Kaide made herself promise then that she would never take the throne from Bitterblue. Child of the former King and Queen of Monsea she may be, but Kaide didn't want to rule. Bitterblue would be a lot better as a Queen then a sword fighting Graced former assassin.
"Is Po alright? Last I saw you guys were getting him out of the lake..." Kaide said, trying to break the icy silence.
"How did you recover?" Katsa asked suspiciously. Kaide sighed, putting her head in her arms.
"If you don't trust me, just say so. But I'll tell you everything about my past, and how I met Leck, and why I want him dead. I got these injuries trying to distract Leck's outer guard so Po could have a shot," Kaide said.
"So Po said..." Katsa said hesitantly. At the mention of his name, Po opened his eyes and squinted at Kaide.
"You made it, Kaide. I thought you drowned," Po said, looking a lot worse that Kaide felt.
"I nearly did, but I was pulled out," Kaide replied. "Do you want me to tell you a little story?"
"Yes," Po smiled. "Katsa doesn't trust anyone. Even if you saved my life, she still won't. You need to tell her everything."
Katsa was silent, but Kaide could see she was struggling not to smile. Once again, Kaide felt the envy of the bond that Katsa and Po had together, but it was less than before. Helen had helped heal her slightly in that department, even though it would still take Kaide a while to be fully whole.
Kaide sighed in preparation. "I'll start from the end – why I left Leck. Then I'll tell you why I served Leck, how I met him, and my childhood."
"And what about your Grace?" Katsa interrupted. "What's your Grace? It's easier to trust you if I know exactly what you can do. I've never fought a person so evenly matched to me."
Kaide smirked. "I would love to spar with you on a regular basis. I'm sick of beating dumb knights. As for my Grace...I was told that I was born with eyes two different colours, but I have the ability to change the colour so they match. It took me quite a few years to figure out what it was, but put simply, my Grace defends me. It's a Grace that protects me from other Graces and when I am under attack. My Grace protects me and helps me defend myself from anyone or anything that tries to hurt me."
Katsa was silent, in deep thought. "It's not like a Grace of say...survival, it is?"
"Survival? Is that even possible...it's like saying that you're beating death or something...no, my Grace can firstly protect me from other Graces. I don't fall under Leck's Grace. Po's Grace can't sense me. Any Grace that could potentially harm me doesn't work on me. I know it's those Graces because those with healing Graces still work on me. And I know my Grace is defence, not just defence from other Graces because I'm faster and stronger than those without Graces. My senses are way sharper. I have this defensive instinct that has saved my life a gazillion times. Except, like you Katsa, I've used my Grace for the wrong reasons."
Katsa nodded. "My Grace is survival, as you may have guessed."
Kaide laughed. "I realised when you asked me whether my Grace was survival...I think I've changed my mind on the sparing. You'd just tire me out first, right?"
Katsa couldn't help but notice how right she was. "You're right about that. Can you tell us about...Leck?"
"Oh, yeah," Kaide replied, forgetting that she was going to tell them about her past. She took a long, deep breath. Even Blaire had never known so much about her past, but Kaide's instinct told her that she could trust Katsa. Maybe it was because they had the same goal.
"Firstly...I think I will start from my childhood. It's easier to understand in that order, rather than if I started from why I ran from Leck. I was found on the streets of Suncliff when I was one, abandoned and orphaned. I was found by other children like me, who banded together to try and survive. I became useful because of my Grace. Along with Damon, who was the leader of the abandoned children as we called ourselves, we would steal from the rich, from the markets, to feed ourselves. I lived like this for years, in my little hungry family, until one day, I met Blaire."
Kaide's face turned dark and bitter, and Katsa realised that some of the pain she was facing was because of Blaire. Katsa could feel the mixed emotions that she felt towards Blaire, and wondered how this had happened. Last she saw, Blaire and Kaide seemed to be working effectively as Leck's eyes, ears and muscles.
"She had lost control of the horse she was riding. I happened to be in the market with Damon, when she fell. I saved her life by pushing her out of the way, and as a reward she took me to her little expensive mansion where I listened to her parents argue about her bringing some street scum into their perfect little house. I watched as Blaire shrivelled up into a little cry baby. I insulted her parents, who were about to kill me, but then Blaire's witch of a mother thought it would be a good idea to use me as bait so Blaire would behave."
Tears started to flow down Kaide's cheeks, and Bitterblue looked horrified. Even Katsa had never seen Randa act like that, to use someone as bait to control another, not to such a degree. Kaide continued on, clearly not noticing that she was crying.
"The next years were the worst of my life. I was beaten, abused, treated like trash, as Blaire tried to keep me alive. I hated her for that. I wanted to die. After about two years, something within me snapped. I just had this...you could describe it as an urge to kill. I got out of my little cell, and stole a sword. I began sneaking out at night, and destroying any dummies that I saw. My Grace made this easier to learn, and I was considering revealing it. As much as I didn't want to belong to King Murgon, I thought that anything was better than this. A knight started teaching me to fight because he felt sorry for me, and it became my escape, sneaking out, sword fighting for hours. I would use this chance to learn to fight, then escape. At this stage, I still hated Blaire, but one night she caught me sneaking out. When I told her what I was doing, Blaire thought it was an excellent idea. She hated her parents as much as I hated them."
Kaide was silent as she looked at Katsa, Po and Bitterblue. "My hatred for nobles comes mainly from them, but I have nothing against you all, because you have all proved to me, as well as Ashen, that some nobles can be worth respecting."
Katsa looked stunned. True, she had learned a lot about herself over those weeks with Po, but it was Kaide's statement that had her stunned. She never knew she had that effect. Po, who was sitting up on the edge of the bed, grinned cheekily at her.
"See, Katsa? You're more than you think."
"Shut up, Po," Katsa growled, embarrassed. She turned back to Kaide. "Continue before I do something to Po."
Po grinned as Kaide continued her story. "I turned myself around those years I spent training with Blaire and that knight. Blaire's parents got suspicious, but they never found out. But one night, Blaire's mum saw that knight training me and Blaire. The next morning he was hanged. I realised what had happened, and I escaped before she could find me. I went into that knight's room, and found a sword that he had forged, just for me, and a letter. I'll keep that letter private, but the sword that knight gave me is the one I'm using at the moment. I used that sword and killed Blaire's parents. They were the first people I ever killed. I was eighteen at the time. I had been stuck with them for nearly eight years.
"It was shortly after that that Blaire and I took everything we could and tried to find somewhere to live. Blaire had this awesome-" Kaide had layered her voice with heavy sarcasm and anger-"idea that we could be warriors or something for a king. Blaire thought we could go to King Leck. At that stage we were both very proficient with weapons. Blaire is not Graced, but the way she throws daggers, it seems as if she if. If we ever need to face her, that is what you need to be aware of."
Katsa nodded, finding it interesting that someone could have abilities like that without being Graced. She remembered the one time she had fought with Blaire, and Blaire did seem to be unnervingly accurate and fast with her daggers. She was fast enough to dodge, but Katsa knew she wasn't fast enough to catch daggers like Kaide could.
"With Leck, you may be interested to hear that we had an instant relationship of hate. We hated each other the moment we met, Blaire being the mediator. Because of her, I stayed. Because of her, Leck didn't make any direct action to harm me. I knew what Leck was the moment I met him, because my Grace could feel it. I told Blaire everything about him, which prevented her from falling under his Grace. We became his assassins, being paid to do anything he ordered us to, which was also another reason I stayed. I knew if we fell under his Grace, he would make us do a lot worse. I could see what he did to animals, and even humans. It sickened me, but I felt I owed everything to Blaire. She was the only person I had. No matter how much I hated Leck, I couldn't leave her.
"As you know, it was us that abducted Tealiff from Lienid when Leck ordered us to. I had always secretly did things behind his back, like occasionally destroying his torture houses. I tried helping Ashen and Bitterblue escape. But there was always a thorn in the relationship that I had with Blaire. She still thought Leck was a good person, despite what he did. I was getting sick of Leck. It was that one day that changed everything..."
Kaide closed her eyes, tears falling even more. It was only then that she noticed them, and tried to wipe them, a blush of mortification on her face. Kaide clearly didn't like falling to pieces in front of people.
"I'm crying...how odd...but...to put a long story short, Blaire betrayed me in a way so terrible that...I don't ever want to mention her name until I need to. I lost my temper, and Blaire was betrayed because I never told her I was Graced. I fled, and decided time was ripe to kill Leck. I went to find you guys, and here I am."
Everyone was silent, until Bitterblue spoke up. "Why did Leck hate you so much in the beginning?"
Kaide hesitated. She knew the answer, but she didn't want to tell Bitterblue. Exhaling loudly, Kaide decided to tell Katsa, Po and Bitterblue a little about her encounter with Helen. "When I fell off that cliff, I met Helen, who raised me for the first year of my life, before leaving me in Suncliff. It turns out that Leck recognised me as a baby that he had tried to kill. There's more to the story, but even I just learnt it, so I would like some time to think a little..."
Katsa nodded. "I understand. If Leck is as close as you say, we will leave at dawn tomorrow. Po...is staying here. His injuries are bad enough that he would slow us down. We're going to Sunder by Grella's Pass."
"Are you insane?" Kaide exclaimed. "Grella's Pass...even if your Grace is survival, I don't think that Bitterblue's is. I don't think my Grace protects me from the cold and blizzards. It's more...swords and arrows, that kind of thing."
"I will help you survive. I will," Katsa said, determination and belief in her eyes. And at that moment, Kaide believed her, believed that with Katsa, anything was possible.
"Alright. But if we're going to Suncliff for, say, a boat to Lienid or something, then there's somewhere I want to stop first," Kaide said. "There are several people I want to see and apologise to."
"That's fine. You should all sleep so we can travel tomorrow," Katsa said, instantly knowing to what Kaide was referring to.
"And what about you, Katsa? I noticed you said "you" not "we". Are you not sleeping, Katsa?" Kaide teased, as Po suppressed a laugh and sighed instead.
"Listen to her, Katsa," Po sighed. "And as a word of warning, Kaide, if she tries to give you something to eat from her meal, don't because she always does that. She needs to learn to look after herself."
"Agreed," Kaide and Bitterblue said simultaneously, laughing. Katsa put out the fire in the tattered fireplace that was burning, and within minutes, the cabin was silent except for the occasional snore.
This chapter is quite lengthy, and I know there isn't any Blaire in it, but she'll turn up in a few chapters. I hope this hasn't been too long and lengthy, but I wanted to put all of Kaide's past here as the truth breaks. Hopefully you've enjoyed this chapter. Drop off your comments and thoughts by reviewing, because that'll make my day after typing up all this :D :D