Chapter 15 – Torn Desires

"What? What did you say?" Damon demanded angrily, jumping up and wearing an expression of hurt. Kaide stood up and tried to reach for Damon's hand, but he snapped his arm back angrily.

"My parents were the King and Queen of Monsea, Damon. And I'm not going to be ashamed of it because if there is something that I have learnt, it is that not all of royal blood are terrible," Kaide replied, stunned by her own admission.

"All right then, spill," Damon spat, his eyes filled with hatred.

"You'll let my bloodline ruin our friendship? We've known each other for years and you're going to let blood split us apart? You can be unreasonable sometimes, Damon." Kaide sighed, looking hard into Damon's eyes. If Damon was not going to accept her the way she is, Kaide reasoned that she would be better off without him.

"Yes, blood is everything!" Damon yelled, but his eyes were desperate, and his voice was no longer filled with hatred. He sounded defeated, and Kaide knew now was the time to push her point further.

"Is it? You know more nobles than you think, Damon."

Damon looked down at the ground, ashamed, unable to meet Kaide's eyes. "I shouldn't be stereotyping you like that. You were raised right."

Kaide snorted. "I love how you put it. 'I was raised right.' Trust me, I know some nobles that weren't 'raised right' as you put it and they turned out fine."

Damon sank to his knees, looking at the grass. "Katsa and Bitterblue. I forgot. I'm being stupid, aren't I?"

"Yes, you can say that again," Kaide smiled, pulling Damon up, and giving him a hug to tell him that all was forgiven. "Let's hope Amy and Katsa have gotten us a ship."

"Katsa!" Amy pleaded desperately, grabbing Katsa's forearm. "Leck's Grace. Po. Remember Po. You need to run, Katsa. Far away."

"Oh, she's not going anywhere street girl," Blaire snarled, a wicked grin glinting in her eyes. "Katsa's coming with me, ain't she?"

With a cruel smile Blaire drew out her dagger and threw one at Amy's chest. Amy only had time to manage a short gasp before crumpling to the ground, blood pooling from her wound. Blaire held her hand outstretched to Katsa, a grin on her face, as Katsa remained unmoving.

"Now that she's gone, feel free to come, dear Katsa," Blaire smiled. Katsa stood frozen, her eyes staring at where Amy was lying on the ground, gasping for air, before moving her gaze back to Blaire. Katsa took a step forward. Then another.

"That's right," Blaire smiled, but before she finished her sentence, Katsa drew her dagger and swung it at Blaire's head.

Blaire jumped back, startled, before looking back at Katsa and realising that her attack on Amy had snapped Katsa out of any control Blaire had held through Leck's Grace.

With a snarl Blaire said, "Fine, you win this one, Katsa. But we know exactly where you are, and Leck is waiting, deary."

Katsa needed no explanation as to who Blaire's 'we' was, as Blaire disappeared into the shadows. Katsa felt so mentally fatigued by her battle to get out of Leck's Grace that she didn't bother pursuing, instead running to where Amy lay, her chest fluttering as she struggled for breath.

"Amy!" Katsa yelled, dropping to her knees. It seemed that Blaire had retrieved her dagger as she left as Amy's entire shirt was now soaked red, and the strength that was once in Amy's eyes were faded.

"Katsa," Amy groaned, looking into the stars. "Tell Kaide – I'm sorry."

"No, don't talk," Katsa demanded, applying pressure to Amy's chest. "I'll get you back and fix you up. You'll be fine."

"Don't be delusional," Amy whispered. "I'm a goner. Blaire hit where she hit to make me suffer. She's Kaide's noble girl, isn't she? That's why Kaide won't say her name?"

Katsa nodded, her eyes sad as Amy let out a strained cough.

"Amy!" Katsa cried out. She couldn't let Amy die, otherwise her death would be on her hands. She didn't want to be responsible for anyone's death, but it was because of her inability to resist Leck's Grace that led to Amy's death.

"Not...your...fault..." Amy whispered, her voice barely audible, but a smile on her face as her eyes closed. Katsa was left on the dock with a limb Amy in her arms.

Bitterblue sat on the edge of the bed, a candle behind her flickering feebly. Katsa and Amy had left several hours ago to find a ship, but they had yet to return. Bitterblue felt she was the only one worried, as Kaide seemed occupied with Damon and meeting the rest of the children resting in the cosy house, but Bitterblue couldn't shake the feeling that something bad had happened.

Then came the scream. The scream was wild, and only when she looked out the window did Bitterblue see Kaide, with Damon running behind her, as Katsa carried a limp body in her arms that Bitterblue realised was Amy's. Even from this distance, Bitterblue could recognise the dark stain on Amy's chest that was blood.

Kaide sunk to her knees, clearly crying, as Damon patted her back, Katsa's mouth moving as she explained the killing. Bitterblue stood away from the window, feeling cold. It was clear from the volume of Kaide's voice that it was Blaire that had killed Amy. It meant that now, Leck knew that they were in Suncliff, and the longer they stayed the larger the chance that they had of being found.

"I need to keep going," Kaide gritted through her teeth angrily, as she stormed away from the forest where Amy had been buried. The sun had just risen over the horizon, and already Kaide was feeling the effects of the all-nighter that she had just pulled. But she didn't care. Kaide had this extremely strong, savage desire to cleave Blaire's head off her neck, and there was nothing that anyone said or did that would change that.

"Then we'll need to get a ship to Lienid then," Katsa sighed, understanding the emotions that Kaide was going through. It was hard to cope when someone you loved were killed, or close to death, and it was something that Katsa was still struggling with, not knowing whether Po was safe or not. Moments later, Bitterblue ran out of Damon's house, the bags under her eyes showing that Bitterblue, too, hadn't had a good night's sleep.

"We should go immediately. I think that being on the move may settle your mind, Kaide," Bitterblue said kindly. Damon looked exhausted between the trio and sighed.

"I guess that there is nothing for me to say that will change your minds, right?" Damon asked of no one in particular.

"That's right. But we need to avenge Amy. I mean, I was there and I couldn't stop Blaire!" Katsa yelled, furious at herself and her weakness. "Just when I thought that I was making amends for what I did working for my uncle, I let an innocent get killed."

"There was nothing you could do, Katsa. Leck's Grace is brutal," Kaide said sadly, but not meeting Katsa's eyes.

It was at that instant that a thought crashed through Katsa's mind, something that she was sure that Kaide had never considered. It all seemed...too convenient. Kaide had made it clear earlier that Blaire had never fallen under Leck's Grace while they were working together, but the Blaire she saw at the docks was clearly under the influence. And it seemed too neat, far too neat, that Kaide had suddenly seen Blaire sleeping with Leck when Kaide had never picked up signs of Blaire doing something like that earlier? And Katsa was sure that if she prodded Kaide further, the girl would admit that she merely assumed the girl lying with Leck was Blaire, but never actually saw her face? Could Leck have deliberately set Kaide up, knowing how she would react?

"Something on your mind? We were all set yesterday, so it should be no problem looking for a ship now, right? Katsa?" Kaide looked curiously at Katsa, who remained deep in thought.

"Huh? Nothing. Just something I was thinking about, that's all," Katsa replied. She knew it was far too early to tell Kaide her suspicions – sensing the anger that she had bottled up, now was not a good time to mention that she thought that Leck had deliberately set up the entire event that shattered the relationship between Blaire and Kaide.

"This may not have been the best time to go hunting for a ship," Katsa muttered, as they walked along the docks, just hoping to find a Lienid ship that hadn't gone anywhere near Monsea.

"Ooh, I wonder why," Kaide whispered sarcastically. Since farewelling Damon, Kaide had been extremely snappy and sarcastic, a result from probably sleep deprivation and Amy's death.

"We've got no choice. Now, listen!" Katsa hushed. In the background, there was someone talking with a lilt that was instantly familiar to Katsa. It reminded her of Po, and Katsa felt the ache deep in her heart as she longed to be in his safe, warm embrace.

"They seem to be extremely busy. I'm guessing that they either got here or are about to leave. Let's ask them." Bitterblue, sensing how out of it Kaide seemed, addressed this statement to Katsa, who nodded, hoping that her disguise would suffice and that Leck's poison hadn't reached these Lienid's.

"Okay. Stay back, Bitterblue. You too Kaide." Without looking back, Katsa walked to a sailor that was busily loading supplies, as Kaide remained standing with Bitterblue, letting out a sigh.

"A one eyed girl, asking questions about Monsea, that's not suspicious at all," Kaide muttered under her breath. "This day just gets better and better."

Bored, and feeling an unexpected tension in her muscles, Kaide had left the docks to pace around madly in a forest nearby, Bitterblue watching with an interest. They were far enough that they didn't look suspicious standing in the middle of a Sunderan port, but should Katsa come out of that Lienid ship, could easily see them.

"Just wait until I get my hands on her," Kaide muttered under her breath, referring to Blaire. "She'll wish she were never born."

Bitterblue was silent as she listened to Kaide mutter to herself, every now and then catching insults and words that she would never dare say aloud herself.

"That little-oh shit!" Kaide stopped her pacing and grabbed Bitterblue's wrist, pulling her deeper into the forest. "I wasn't thinking, was I?"

Bitterblue turned her gaze to where Kaide's glare was focused, and her heart nearly stopped. Blaire strutted around the docks liked she owned the place, with several of Leck's soldiers by her side.

"If Katsa comes out of that ship now, we are majorly screwed," Kaide muttered.

"Can she hear us?" Bitterblue asked, frowning. Blaire was no more than twenty metres away from them, and she would see them instantly if she looked at the forest.

"Thankfully, no. Katsa may have super hearing, and I can too, but not Blaire. She's not Graced – she's just good and throwing her damned dagger where she wants to. But that just gives me an idea."

Kaide pulled Bitterblue further back into the forest. "Go in deeper. Maybe another ten metres, so if Blaire sees me, she may assume that you are with Katsa. Damn, I'm really tired," Kaide added with a groan.

Bitterblue reluctantly stepped further back into the forest, trying not to snap too many twigs, as Kaide whispered, seemingly to thin air.

"Katsa, if you're listening, whatever you do, don't leave that ship. Don't."

Kaide was hoping that Katsa was maybe listening out for them and heard her warning. But then, she wasn't sure exactly how good Katsa's hearing was, only that it was probably better than hers. And if that was the case, if Katsa was listening, she would hear Kaide's warning.

Blaire surveyed her surroundings as the orange glow from dawn faded into the bright light of morning. She was looking, clearly looking for someone, whilst arguing with one of her soldiers.

"Katsa and that little street girl were here last night. I think it would be a reasonable assumption to say that they would be here today, looking for a ship to Lienid. But if you have any disagreements, Roland, I can just put my dagger through your heart and get another soldier. You lot are expendable, after all," Blaire smiled, the soldier she had been arguing with quieting down immediately.

As she scanned around the port, maybe thinking it was too early for Katsa or Bitterblue to be here, she caught a small movement from the corner of her eye. Normally Blaire would disregard a movement like that, but coming from the forest, it seemed like someone was hiding there.

"Ooh, something hiding in the forest. Guess I wasn't as early as I thought, eh? Come out Katsa. Bitterblue. You know it's the right thing to do."

In the forest, Bitterblue suppressed a yelp and covered her ears, retreating deeper into the forest. Kaide felt the familiar sensation of Leck's Grace on her ears, holding back a grimace at how it tore at her ears. Kaide's movement to draw her sword must have been seen on the corner of Blaire's peripheral vision, and now Blaire was walking steadily towards the forest where she lay hidden. The only advantage that Kaide saw she had was the fact that Blaire believed it was Katsa she was dealing with.

"Bitterblue. Go in deeper. I'll deal with her and her goons," Kaide snarled, slashing at a tree.

"Do you really think you can kill her, Kaide?" Bitterblue asked.

"Just GO!" The last word had almost been a shout. Frightened, Bitterblue ran deeper into the forest, but remained close enough to watch the scene about to occur.

Taking a deep breath, Kaide walked out of the forest, sword raised ready to defend. She saw the momentary surprise on Blaire's face as she appeared.

"Well, Blaire, it's been a while since we spoke face to face, hasn't it?" Kaide began, her sword glittering madly in the morning light.

Katsa had heard, like a whisper, Kaide's warning not to leave the boat. It was at that moment that she knew that something had gone terribly wrong, and the problem probably began with B.

But she had done it. Despite the crew –and the captain's initial reluctance to allow another three people on board, using the ring that Po had given her – a ring that made her a Lienid princess, Katsa had gotten them a ride to Po's castle.

Katsa put her anger at Po aside as the captain of the ship, Faun, asked her a question.

"Is there something wrong?" the captain asked, noticing that Katsa's attention was divided.

Katsa frowned. "One of my associates just asked me not to leave the ship. I think the sooner we leave, the better."

"Well, we'll be leaving soon, that's for sure. My Grace has picked up storms that I would like to avoid. Lady Princess, you better get Princess Bitterblue and your other friend here now. We can leave immediately."

Katsa smiled. "Thank you. Thank you so much. During the journey, I promise I'll tell you everything."

With a nod to the captain, Katsa began making her exit from the boat, and walking into the sunlight, Katsa realised exactly why Kaide had told her to stay inside. Kaide and Blaire were standing face-to-face, both wearing a murderous expression on their face. A slight movement in the forest behind them was more than enough to tell Katsa that Kaide had told Bitterblue to hide in the forest. She needed to get Bitterblue safely on the ship, but it seemed that the only way to do it was for Kaide and Blaire to finish whatever they had started.

Then Kaide had started talking. "Well, Blaire, it's been a while since we spoke face to face, hasn't it?"

The former friends began pacing, their eyes never leaving each other.

"It's been a while. I've learnt the truth about you, Kaide. My King Leck would dearly love to see your head on a platter," Blaire replied.

"Funny you should say that," Kaide hissed. "I don't think it is just my head that someone wants to see handed on a nice golden platter, is it?"

Without warning, the two crashed. Katsa almost expected to see Blaire fall, Kaide's sword in her heart. Kaide was Graced, whereas Blaire wasn't. But to her shock, Kaide's sword was stuck between Blaire's crossed daggers, centimetres from her heart.

"Predictable, isn't it, where you aim?" Blaire smiled, not sweetly, but in a sinister, provocative manner. And considering Kaide's angered and sleep-deprived state, she would never be able to resist such an invitation to attack.

But if she kills Blaire, I'm sure that deep down, it will haunt her forever, Katsa thought, watching the two spar. There were several times where Katsa saw openings, where Kaide could've dealt Blaire the final blow, but it seemed that Kaide's actions mirrored Katsa's thoughts.

She can't do it, Katsa realised. No matter how much hatred she feels for Blaire, there will always be a part of Kaide that sees Blaire as her friend. And there would always be the part of Kaide's mind that thought logically, and realised that she couldn't blame Blaire for Amy's death. It was all Leck's doing. All of it. And if Kaide could realise that, it could save her so much pain.

It was during this realisation that the hilt of Kaide's sword swung violently against Blaire's temple, knocking her out instantly. Blaire crumpled to the ground, as Kaide kicked the daggers out of her hands and threw them into the glittering ocean behind. She then turned to Leck's soldiers, who stared at Kaide, shocked. It was at this moment that Katsa decided to interfere.

"Kaide, don't kill them! They don't know what they're doing!"

At the sight of Katsa, Kaide changed her killing stroke to one that knocked the soldier out, similar to what she did with Blaire. By the time that Katsa stood next to Kaide, all of the soldiers lay on the ground, unconscious. Had it not being early morning, this fight would've clearly attracted the attention of far too many Sundeans.

"Bitterblue, she's in the forest, right?" Katsa demanded as Kaide nodded, looking morose. On cue, Bitterblue walked out of the forest, her face slightly scratched where branches had scraped her, but nevertheless unharmed. "We have a ship. A ship to Lienid. And it'll be leaving soon."

"Thank goodness," Kaide choked, and Katsa could see the verges of tears on her eyes. "Why couldn't I do it? I had the opportunity several times, to make Blaire pay for betraying me, and killing Amy. But I couldn't do it. Something stopped me, Katsa, and I don't know what. I wanted to kill her so bad, but even though I've killed so many, Blaire's life was one I couldn't take? Why Katsa, why?"

The look on Kaide's face was anguished, as Katsa led her to Captain Faun's ship.

"Because, deep down, you suspect the truth," Katsa began.

"What truth, what?" Tears were falling freely down Kaide's face, and she paid no attention to them. Her sword remained tightly in her grip, shaking.

"That maybe it wasn't Blaire you saw that afternoon. Think about it – did you see her face?"

"No," Kaide began, memories of that dreadful day clouding her mind. "But-but-it was her room, Katsa, and it looked like her. It-had to be, right? Right?"

"Kaide, Leck could've been sleeping with anyone who had dark hair in Blaire's bed. And you know it."

"It doesn't explain the look on her face when she saw my eyes, Katsa. She was hurt, and she ran to Leck!"

"But if Blaire was Graced, and you just found out, what would you feel? Wouldn't you be angry?"

To this Kaide had no response but, "She killed Amy. She tried to kill me. She fell under Leck's Grace. She-"

"You can't blame her. I bet it is so much easier to fall under Leck's Grace when you are emotionally upset. It may have been Blaire's hand that ended Amy's life, but it was Leck who made her do it."

"I'm so sorry," Kaide cried, resting her shoulder on Katsa's. "Blaire, I am so sorry."

When Kaide took her shoulder off Katsa's, there was a new determination in her eyes.

"Blaire, I promise that I will save you from Leck's Grace, then I'll hand you his head on a nice shiny platter. I promise!"

Kaide looked up into the clear Sundean sky, knowing her exact target – Leck.