A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a car that needs a new windshield wiper. Good thing I live in the desert and it hasn't rained here in like three months. :D

Thanks to my superbeta MaggieMay14. She loves Jasper in this story. She also loves to tell me what the characters are supposed to do next. Too bad for her they are defiant and are thinking of declaring mutiny. :D She also bought me in the Fandom Gives Back Auction. That was very nice of her…though I felt kind of bad that she had to do that. I'm afraid of what she wants me to write for her, and now I feel like I should write two things for her since I would have written her something for free. That's how much I love her.

Thanks to Twilight44 & Unchanged Affections for prereading this. Actually, Twilight44 is away camping so jasperlover16 stepped in and said this chapter was amazing. I hope she is right, but I love her anyway…she's so sweet. And Unchanged Affections…I know you'll like this chapter. "Nurse Erin…paging Nurse Erin." I know you love that. :D

And thanks to my girlies - MeowVemulapalli, Risbee, missveritys, and coldplaywhore. I love them. I'm pretty sure none of them are reading this story, but that's okay…I'll get over it. :)

I'm still without the internet at home, but that's actually working out well for you. I can't get side tracked with Twitter, and I'm getting lots of writing and reading done. It sucks, but it will be fine. Now if I can just upgrade my cell phone plan to get me more text messages each month. I already ran those out for this month. That sucks big time. :(

Little prewarning for this story. I have no idea how rehabilitation centers really operate, and without internet to spend hours researching it, I'm just gonna go with what I think makes sense. I've seen enough of those rehab shows on tv to know that I'm not too far off. :D Just go with the flow and enjoy it, it could happen. :D

~oOo~

Chapter 4 – She Needs

Edward POV

I watched Tori for a few moments as she bit at her fingernails—a nervous habit of hers that only came through when she was truly upset about something. Tori, was a good person, a kind and loving woman that had helped me through the hardest time of my life. I owed her more than I would ever be able to repay, and the thought of hurting her nearly crushed me. As much as I wanted to be with Izzy, I knew it would only come at the cost of Tori, and I really didn't know what to do. I stood quietly by, taking her in and trying to figure out what words to say to her. As she looked up and her eyes met mine, I knew my time was up.

She quickly stood, pulling away from where she had been leaning against my car, and turned a little to face me. Her hands dropped to her sides and her breathing picked up—I could only guess what thoughts were running through her mind. Slowly, I took a few steps toward her and sorrow built in me as I got a better look at her face, the fresh tear tracks along her cheeks.

"Hi," I quietly said to her, my hands pushing into my pockets.

"Hi." She looked at me with so much hurt and anguish in her eyes, it nearly brought me to my knees. She started to speak, her voice low and quiet—defeat thick in every word. "I tried to call, but you didn't answer. I was worried and your mom told me you where here...with her." She dropped her eyes to her hands that were busy twisting together in front of her, her fingernails roughly digging into the flesh. "So, this is over then, right? You and me?"

I heard the sob in her voice as the words poured quickly out and a shudder rumbled through her. I still wasn't sure what to do, and I paused for a moment in an attempt to come up with the right thing to say. "Tori, I don't know. I keep trying to figure out what to say to you, or what to do, but I just don't know. That's not fair to you, I'm sorry, but I'm confused right now. I know what's right for me and I know what I want, and they aren't exactly the same thing." I forced my hand through my hair, rubbing it across my face as I fought back the emotion that was threatening to overtake me. "I love you, Tori, but I'm not being fair to you." I watched her as she met my gaze again, her eyes showing the agony she was going through.

"Do you want to be with her?" she whispered.

I nodded slowly, not wanting to lie to her.

"Do you want to be with me?" she asked, and I again nodded. "You can't have us both, Edward, you have to choose."

"I can't." My jaw muscles flexed as I pursed my lips together and my brow furrowed. "I can't choose right now, Tor. Please, please just let me figure this out."

I saw a light flicker in her eyes and her voice gained strength. "You can't string me along, Edward. I won't sit back while you play house with both of us. I won't share you, I deserve better than that. Is she up there waiting for you? What did you tell her?"

I suddenly realized that Tori didn't know what happened, I needed to explain things to her before she got angry about the situation.

"You talked to my mother? What did she say was going on?" I asked.

"She told me that Bella was in the hospital and that you were here with her. She didn't even want to tell me that, but I was begging, I was so worried about you. I mean, last night I told you to figure things out and then this morning I wake up and you're gone. No note, no message, nothing. Then you wouldn't answer my calls, and I panicked. I tried your dad too but he never answered, though your mom said he was working. I thought you'd left me, Edward. I thought you didn't even have the balls to face me and tell me the truth." Her words began to gain some strength, her frustration starting to show through. "I rushed down here hoping to find you and talk some sense into you. You know what she's like, you told me yourself last night that she's still using. She's not good for you, you know that. I love you! I can give you everything she can't! Why don't you see that?" She began to cry again, the anger giving way to sadness.

"Tori," I said as I stepped closer to her, "Bella's not okay. I'm not leaving you for her, it's not like that. Babe, she's here because she OD'd last night. She left a note and everything, she tried to kill herself."

"Oh, Edward, no."

"Her friends found her, Emmett was with them. They saved her, but she's not okay. My dad doesn't know if she's even gonna make it. I had to see her, Tori, I had to be here for her. Please, don't be upset with me. I haven't done anything and I don't even know what she wants. I mean, this Emmett guy, she's like with him, and I don't know what that's all about. She's unconscious Tori, so I can't talk to her, but if she wakes up I have to help her. She needs my help, Tori. Please, try and understand this."

She moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her face in my neck. I put my arms around her, pulling her closer to me, and kissed the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair. It was all wrong. As comforting as the scent was, my body craved another smell that would only ever be found in one girl—my Izzy.

"Can I see her?" Tori asked, her voice quiet and hesitant.

"What? Why would you..."

"I just want to see her, Edward. I won't cause a scene or talk to anyone, I just need to know; I need to see for myself what I'm dealing with. Please? I want to see that she's okay." She pulled back from me, her eyes looking up and meeting mine. I couldn't deny her anything and I reached around to my back and took hold of her hand. I laced my fingers with hers and pulled her along side me into the hospital. There were no words between us, both of us lost in our own thoughts and confused about the situation.

We stepped out of the elevator on the floor where my Izzy was, and instantly my body could feel her. My heart knew that she was close and the pull that I felt was stronger than anything I'd ever experienced before. It had always been that way with Izzy and me, and I was somewhat comforted by it.

Her room soon came into view and I saw Alice standing along side a man I didn't know. She had her arm around his waist and I assumed it was her fiancé that my father had mentioned. Tori let go of my hand and walked closer to the windows as I retreated deeper back into the hallway. She stood as rigid as stone as she watched Izzy lying in her bed, tubes and monitors all around her. I noticed Alice turn and look at her, a puzzled look on her face, but just as she started to pull away from Jasper, Tori turned and walked down the hall, away from the room and from me. I waited until Alice was once again focused on Izzy and then stepped around the corner. I was startled to see Tori embracing Emmett, the two of them quietly comforting one another. I stood and watched them for a few moments before finally turning and making my way back to my father's office. I figured I would text Tori and tell her where I was, leaving her to her private moment with Emmett.

The caveman in me began to grumble knowing that Tori was with Emmett. The thought of both women I had loved in my life being with another man made me insane, and I had to talk myself down, out of the jealousy that I knew was not warranted in this situation. Izzy deserved to be happy, and if she had found that with Emmett then I should be thanking him. I also knew that Tori wasn't interested in Emmett in that way, and I had nothing to worry about. I sat alone in the dark office for a few minutes before finally sending a text to Tori. I wasn't sure if she would come find me or if she would leave, but I hoped that we would be able to continue talking and figuring things out. We were supposed to be moving to New York City in a few days and I knew that couldn't happen the way things were now.

There was a soft knock on the office door and then it gently opened. "Edward?" I heard Tori say as she slipped into the room, pushing the door closed behind her. She took the few short steps to the sofa and sat down next to me. "I talked to Emmett; he said she's not really improving much. He asked me if you knew; if that's why I was here. I didn't know what to tell him, so I told him yes." She shifted next to me, the volume of her voice dropping to little more than a whisper. "He asked if I thought you'd want her back. He's afraid of losing her. I didn't know how to answer that; I just said I'm afraid of the same thing."

Tori's hand moved to the back of my neck, her fingernails scratching into my skin. Her touch relieved the tension I had been feeling and it soothed me. My head lulled forward a bit and my eyes closed, finding comfort in her for the moment, and I soon felt her lips on my neck, placing feather soft kisses on my skin. As much as I wanted to ask her to stop, I knew she needed the reassurance that these actions would bring, and I couldn't deny her. The pressure of her kisses increased and she began lightly sucking my flesh into her mouth, her pebbled tongue pulsing as the suction increased. She never marked me that way, thinking it was cheap and distasteful, but in this moment I knew she would, and I didn't try to stop her. For all intents and purposes, I was hers and I couldn't deny her the right to make that clear to everyone. Even if it was mostly to make herself feel better—a reminder to her.

My head dropped back against the sofa and my eyes focused on the ceiling, noticing the grid of the panels. Tori continued her actions as I glanced over at the door, seeing that she had locked it. I knew my father was home sleeping, so there was no real danger of anyone walking in on us, but did I really want to do this in my father's office? I knew what our little make out scene was leading to, and I couldn't decide if I should let it happen here or take Tori home and do it there. I felt her hand wandering over my chest and abdomen, lowering to the waistband of my pants. I was still wearing the dress clothes I'd worn to dinner the night before, minus the jacket. She palmed my quickly hardening penis, rubbing up and down, making things in my mind a little fuzzy. She'd always had that affect on me—making me forget things that were happening around me—and for that I would forever be thankful.

She leaned toward me, moving her leg over my lap so that she was straddling me. As her lips met mine, her head angled so that she could deepen our kiss. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her more firmly against me. Sliding my tongue into her mouth, I explored the hot, wetness there that I'd grown so familiar with, as my hands lowered and began to grasp her firm bottom. Tori loved to work out, always finding time for a run or a quick trip to the gym, something that she had gotten me hooked on as well. It was a great way for me to lose myself, forget things that were bothering me, though it was also a time when I could think about my Izzy nonstop and no one but me had to know. My toned body was a testament to Tori—a physical showing of what she had done for me. Though, while people thought I looked great on the outside, they couldn't see that the inside, no matter how "fixed" it appeared to be, would always be broken. I was like a statue that had been shattered. The pieces of me were glued back together, but you could still see the cracks and the places where the glue held me in one piece. I would never be what I once had been, but at least I was something more than a pile of rubble.

I sucked in a quick breath as I felt Tori's hand slide between my pants and my skin, grasping my cock and stroking me. The feeling was incredible and I didn't have the will to stop her. Knowing we wouldn't make it home, I was glad she had locked the door. I moaned as she quickened her pace, moving her mouth and placing wet, open mouthed kisses along my neck. Her free hand fumbled with the buttons on my shirt, opening it so that her mouth could move to my chest. She rocked her pelvis against mine and I could feel the heat coming from her center. I ached to be with her, to forget everything that had happened in the last twelve hours—to just go back to when it was the two of us and my memories.

My right hand shifted up, finding the hem of her shirt and pushing under it, my fingertips tracing along the soft skin covering her ribs. I felt along the band of her bra and my hand slid back to the clasp, freeing it in one flick. Her breathing picked up and I heard her mumble something against my chest as her tongue circled my nipple. I moved my hand from her back to her chest, grasping her breast and squeezing the firmness there. As I rubbed my thumb over her hardened nipple, she hummed in satisfaction. Tori sat up, her head falling back as she continued to moan and whisper my name. My mouth attacked her neck, sucking in her delicate flesh, and leaving my own marks. My left hand quickly rose from her butt and grabbed her shirt, pulling it up and jerking it over her head, dropping it to the floor. Her bra fell from her shoulders and she sat bare before me, the paleness of her skin reminding me of another woman—a woman who was down the hall, sleeping. I shut my eyes hard, trying to block out the images that were quickly assaulting me—images of Izzy sitting atop me, her head thrown back as I devoured her breasts.

I shook my head trying to dislodge the thoughts and growled as I took Tori's taut peak back into my mouth, sucking harder than usual. She let out a squeal, tugging harder at my dick in response. After a moment I pulled back, looking up at her. Her eyes met mine and I spoke. "Get up." She looked at me, worry flashing in her eyes. She thought I was stopping her, but I wasn't. "Take your pants off, now." She pushed back from me in a rush, standing and dropping her pants to the floor. She straightened up, sliding her thumbs into the band of her thong and began to lower it. "Leave it," I said in a low rumble, and she did.

I lifted my hips, shoving at my pants until they were around my knees, then I grabbed at Tori's hips, bringing her back to me. Her blues eyes were filled with lust and as I pulled her back into my lap, I grabbed at the fabric that was covering her. Moving it aside, I lifted her a bit and then plunged into her, making her gasp as I filled her completely. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of her surrounding me, and waited for her to begin moving. Soon she was sliding up and down my cock, her fingers sinking into my shoulders as she tried to steady herself. My eyes remained closed as I battled with the images that were assaulting me. Memories of two different women were playing through my mind and I struggled with which one to let consume me. Opening my eyes, I saw Tori's red hair flung behind her as her head dropped back, her mouth open as she moaned while riding me. Watching her, the red soon began to turn to brown, darkening by the second. The straight tresses that Tori wore began to turn into curls, waves of chestnut with golden auburn highlights. I closed my eyes again, trying to fight off the image, but couldn't.

Tori's pale flesh began to take on a pink hue, but was quickly replaced by the memory of pale skin that was sprinkled with tiny freckles. I furrowed my brow as my eyelids shut tighter, my mind focusing on the memory of little brown marks scattered across my Izzy's cheeks and nose. Tori's breathing began to pick up; reminding me of the way Izzy's had always done the same thing. I was lost in the moment, fighting between reality and my memories, unable to stick with just one. Reality felt good, it felt right, and I needed it, but the memories felt comfortable and exciting, they were enticing to me and drawing me deeper into them.

I knew it wasn't fair to Tori and as I opened my eyes to stop her, I saw her snaking her hand down between us, rubbing at her little pink nub just above where we were joined. It turned me on, and I wanted nothing more than to find my release. I lifted my hips, slamming into Tori as hard as I could, grunting at the feel of her. She began to shake, and I knew she was close. I closed my eyes again, remembering all the times Izzy and I had been together this way, and I felt my stomach start to clench. Dropping my head back, I held onto Tori tighter as we both neared euphoria. Her moans increased, getting louder as her breasts bounced up and down, matching her rhythm. I pounded into her harder and faster as the feeling in my stomach increased. The sight of Tori combined with the memory of Izzy pushed me over the edge and I gave in to the ecstasy that had been lapping at me. Tori let out one last moan as she tightened around me, stilling as her walls milked my cock for all it was worth.

We sat in silence, our heavy breaths the only sound in the room. After a few moments, I opened my eyes to find Tori watching me, her eyes filled with tears. I raised my hand to touch her cheek, taking it in my palm as she leaned into me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen," she whispered.

"No, it's okay. I knew what we were doing, it's fine." I tried to reassure her, but was struck by what she said next.

"You weren't thinking about me, where you?" There was sadness in her eyes and sorrow in her words. I cursed myself for having let this happen. I should have known what her thoughts would be; that she would think I didn't really want her. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth, and I didn't know what I really wanted, so I lied.

"Tori, this was about you and me, no one else. Let's go home, we need to talk about things. Plus," I rubbed my thumb against her cheekbone, "the apartment isn't going to pack itself. We have a lot of work to do."

Tears trickled down her cheeks as her eyes searched mine. "You're still going with me? You still want me?"

I nodded, giving her the biggest smile that I could muster, knowing it was all a farce. We quickly dressed, making ourselves as presentable as possible, then hurried out of the building and to our cars. I told her that I'd stop to pick up some breakfast for us on my way and meet her back at home, that we could eat while we talked. After seeing her to her car and waiting for her to drive away, I sat in my car and stared at the building where my Izzy was, hoping that the answers I needed would suddenly come to me. I needed to talk to Tori, to tell her everything so that she could make the decisions that were best and right for her. I also needed to talk to Iz, and I prayed that I would get the chance. I fought the need to go back into the building to see her, knowing that I couldn't disrespect either her or Tori in that way. Seeing Izzy after what I'd just done with Tori would be wrong and I couldn't do it. Declaring my love for Izzy while I still smelled of Tori wasn't fair, and I forced myself to push the key into the car's ignition.

As I drove away, my eyes kept searching for the building in my rear view mirror, wishing that I could be there. I had a lot to take care of before I could return to the hospital that night, and I prayed that Tori would understand when I told her. I needed to help Izzy, whether she wanted me or not, and I knew I would never turn my back on her. I just hoped that Tori would grant me that—that it wouldn't destroy what we had together.

After a few hours of talking with Tori, and a few hours of packing, I was dressed and ready for the meeting with my father and Izzy's friends. Tori knew where I was going, a revelation that had brought on a round of hysterics from her, followed by rushed shower sex. It wasn't the best we'd ever had, but it comforted her and served as assurance that I did love her—I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was still completely confused in my head, not knowing what to do. I moved ahead with our plans of relocating to New York simply because I needed something to move toward, and the situation with Izzy felt like it could keep me stuck in one spot indefinitely. I also knew that it could very well suck me backward and all of my work over the past year would be for nothing—I'd be right back where I started from.

I hurried through the halls of the hospital, hoping to have a few minutes alone with my father before all of Izzy's friends showed up. As I approached his door, I was a bit disheartened to hear voices coming from inside his office. I didn't recognize them and I assumed they must be Alice and Jasper, the friends I hadn't met yet. The door was slightly ajar and as I stepped through it, the words stopped and four faces turned to look at me. I froze, realizing I was right about who was there, but hadn't realized that Emmett was there as well.

"You. I saw you this morning, that hair of yours. You were here to see her, weren't you?" the tiny raven haired woman asked. I smiled back at her.

"Yes, I'm Edward. You must be Alice." I held out my hand, offering to shake hers, and she stood still, not moving. This was not a good sign.

"You love her? Did you hurt her? What happened between you?" Her accusing words seemed to come out in a rush and I could see the concerned look in her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw clenching a bit.

I dropped my hand to my side and cast glances as the two men with her, not knowing what to say. "Um, yes, I love her. No, I didn't hurt her. I don't really want to get into what happened between us, but needless to say I'm sure you can figure it out, now that you know what got her here." I raked my hand through my hair, feeling uncomfortable about the look I was getting from them all.

The blonde man moved toward me a bit, holding his hand out. "I'm Jasper Whitlock, Alice's fiancé."

I knew his name—he was the one that saved my Izzy. "You were the one that did CPR and brought her back. Thank you," I said, the emotion thick in my voice as I reached out to grasp his hand, shaking it firmly.

"No problem. We all love her; it was my pleasure to help."

"I'm Emmett, but we met last night," Emmett said, as he offered his hand to me.

"Yes, hello again." We shook hands and I immediately felt the strength in his grasp, my bones feeling as though they might be a little bruised. He was a couple of inches taller than me, with shoulders that were much wider than mine. He obviously worked out a lot more than I did, and I found myself comparing my attributes to his. I was jealous of him, and it was clear that he felt the same way.

"I still want to know what happened between you. How could you just let her go like that?" Alice said her eyes full of what looked to be anger. "You knew she had a problem and you didn't help her. How could you not help her?"

"Alice..." Jasper said from her side, trying to calm her down.

"No, it's okay," I said. "I didn't know she had a problem until it was too late. I tried for about two years to help her, but she didn't want it. She left me, not the other way around, and I've been looking for her for the past year. She didn't exactly hang around with the best people, and they weren't in any rush to help her get away from her habits. You can ask my dad, he's been helping me."

Alice let out a long breath, obviously annoyed by my response. "So you should have just made her stop, I mean really..."

My father let out a soft chuckle, drawing everyone's eyes to him. "It's not that simple, Alice. You'll see."

"You'll have to forgive my sweet lady here," Jasper said as he affectionately put his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. "She sees things in black and white, no room for gray. That's one of the things I love about her." He kissed the top of her head and she seemed to calm immediately.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she looked up at me with apologetic eyes. "I just love her so much and I still can't believe she'd do something like this. I don't understand it."

I let out a deep breath. "Well, she loved her father, a lot, and when he was killed, she just didn't know how to deal with it. He was all she'd ever had, until she met me, and it was hard for her. I tried to help, I thought she was getting better, but I didn't know about the drugs. Well, not until she was totally hooked on them. I never thought she would get caught up in something like that."

Emmett cringed a little as I spoke, turning to sit on the sofa, his hands twisting into fists as he processed what had happened to Izzy. I heard a commotion in the hallway and knew it was most likely Rosalie. I turned just as she walked into the office, the room growing smaller as she and Jacob entered. He was even bigger than Emmett, which was almost impossible to believe, and I wondered if we'd have enough room to fit everyone.

"Well, now that we're all here, I guess we can start," Alice said, drawing a glare from Rose.

"I'm not late, besides, Esme's not here yet, so it's fine." Rosalie looked to me, rushing over and throwing her arms around me. "Edward, we found her. Finally, she's here." I felt tears soaking into my shirt as she clung to me, my arms wrapping gently around her waist. Jacob shifted nervously behind her and as our eyes met, I saw emotions there that I wasn't sure about. Why did he look so nervous, upset, and even a bit bothered?

I heard my mother's voice before I saw her, and soon she entered the room, along with the nurse that I'd spoken to last night. Her arms were quickly around Rosalie and I as she said her hello's to everyone in the room.

"Well, do you all want to stay in here or should we move this into one of the family rooms? There might be more seating for everyone if we do that." My father looked at us all, questioning what we'd want to do. My mind quickly flashed back to what I had been doing the last time I was in this room, right next to where Emmett was currently sitting. I agreed with my father, insisting that it would be better if we had a bit more space. We filed down the hallway, in the opposite direction of Izzy's room, and shuffled into a family meeting room. There were a few sofa's against the walls and several chairs—more than enough room for our little group.

Once we were all seated, my father began. "Thanks for coming, everyone. I know we're all here for Bella and I hope that we can keep that in mind. Some of us don't know each other very well, but I think it's pretty clear who everyone is and what our relationship with Bella is, or was." Everyone nodded, and he continued. "I've asked Erin, Bella's main nurse from last night and today, to meet with us. She's got some information on rehabilitation centers and also on Bella's condition. We know what Bella's issues are and now it's time to fix them." He signaled to Erin and she stood up, opening a folder she had in her hands.

"Bella has several different chemicals in her body. She's done a real number to herself, and I'm really happy to see so many of you here, ready to help her. That's a huge advantage that many addicts don't have. She's going to need a support system to get through this, and she's going to need each one of you." She smiled at us all before glancing down to look at the papers in her hands. "I have a list of rehab facilities that are not too far away, all of which are very good. We've checked with her medical insurance and narrowed it down to a few that they are contracted with. Now they won't cover all of the cost, there will still be a portion that will have to be paid, but it's no where near what it could be, and that's great."

I looked at my father, his eyes meeting mine. "I'll pay it, whatever it is," I said, the words tumbling from my mouth before I really knew what I was saying. How was I going to explain this to Tori?

My father shook his head. "No, Edward, that's not a good idea. Your mother and I have already discussed it, we will pick up Bella's portion. I talked to Alice a bit about Bella's finances, what her earnings are at work, and it's clear she can't do it. Your mother and I have always felt as though Bella was our daughter, and it will be our privilege to pick up the tab for this." My mother sat next to me, reaching over to grab my hand, squeezing it.

"I know you want to help her, Edward, but this really shouldn't come from you. I think if her parents were here, it's something they would want to do, and since we feel like that's our role now, we want to do it. Plus, we don't want to cause issues between you and Tori. You don't have to tell her that we are paying this for Bella. Tori will never know, unless you want her to." My mother looked into my eyes, concern clear on her face as she continued. "We love Bella, and whether or not you two ever figure things out between you, she will always be our daughter. We love Tori too, it's not that we don't, but we want to do this. Please, let us."

I nodded, keeping quiet about it. I knew Izzy had always seen my parents as her own, especially after her father died, so I knew she would be more likely to accept help from them than she would from me.

Erin continued. "Now, we need to choose a place for her to go to. The one I would suggest specializes in chemical dependency, as well as grief counseling. I think once Bella is off the substances and out of withdrawal, she's going to need some serious grief counseling to help her deal with things. This one, it's called New Moon, is really great. It's in Sedona, so it's not too far away, which will be nice once she gets to the stage where she can have visitors."

Sedona was only a few hours north of Phoenix, and it was beautiful there. I knew Izzy would love it, the peaceful atmosphere that she would feel, plus the temperatures would be a bit cooler and there were lots of things she could do outdoors. Having grown up in Washington, Iz always loved the cooler temperatures and the outdoors, trees and water all around her. Phoenix didn't have much of any of that, which made it a little surprising that she'd choose Arizona State University as the place she wanted to go to college. I knew her mother had gone there, and that's why she chose it, but it was still a bit surprising.

"How soon will we be able to see her, once she goes in there?" Alice asked.

"Well, every case is different, and it depends largely on her and the progress she's making. I'd say a pretty standard date would be thirty days. But like I said, it depends on a lot of different things," Erin said.

"What about letters and emails, phone calls. Can she have those? I mean, I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't want her to feel like she's in a prison." Rosalie had some very valid questions, and knowing that I would soon be on the other side of the country, this would be the only way I would be able to communicate with Izzy. Given that she wanted to speak to me at all.

"I believe that letters and emails are always welcome. Phone calls may be a bit more restricted, like times, dates, and things of that nature, so as not to interfere with the schedule patients are on, but they will be able to tell us more about that once Bella is enrolled." We all nodded in understanding, happy that there would be some way for us to check in with her.

"How soon could she get in there? Like, when will she be able to leave the hospital? Will she go straight there or is there a waiting list?" I could tell from Alice's questions that she really did care about Izzy. I was happy that she'd had such a good friend during the past year.

"They have openings, so as soon as she's cleared to leave the hospital, she'll be transferred straight there." Every one seemed to let out a sigh of relief at Erin's words, but tensed again as soon as Emmett spoke. His voice was quiet, much more so than I had imagined it would be.

"Um, is she going to be in trouble legally because of this? I mean, you hear all the time on the news that people end up in the hospital and rehab for drugs, and then they wind up in court and go to jail because of it. I don't want her getting into trouble that way."

My stomach dropped. Being an attorney, I knew what could happen, but I hadn't really thought about it in a long time. When she first disappeared, I worried that we'd find her in jail somewhere, that it would break her, but when we never did, I began to focus more on emergency rooms and hospitals. She was a smart girl, getting caught was most likely never going to be an issue for her. It would break my heart to see her beat the addictions, only to be prosecuted and put in prison for her errant choices.

"We do have to report her to the authorities, by law. However, I know from experience that most first time offenders, if they seek drug counseling and get their addictions under control, will not face any jail time or even see the inside of a court room. The county attorney's office has too many other things to worry about. If Bella can successfully complete the program, and she has you all to help her and support her, she should be fine. The goal is to have a productive citizen back in the community, and that's what we're going to make sure she is again." I was grateful that Erin explained things to everyone, even though my experiences had taught me that it wasn't always that cut and dry. If Izzy ever needed any help in that area, I would be there for her in a second, no matter what. I'd make sure she never had to worry about that.

"So are we all agreed on New Moon? Does anyone else have any other questions?" my father asked, as Alice and Rosalie flipped through brochures for the facility.

"Who takes her there? And who's going to tell her when she wakes up? She won't be happy, I know that much," Alice asked, concern clear in her voice.

"We all talk to her, we present a united front once she's woken up and had a chance to accept that she's still alive and recovering." My father made a good point in stating that we wouldn't be able to talk to her as soon as she was awake. I wondered how upset she would be once she realized she wasn't dead. So often suicide attempts are just a cry for help, but it was clear from Izzy's note that she fully intended to end her life. She didn't want to be here anymore, and I worried about her state of mind after she was awake again.

"I think we should take shifts staying with her. She could be waking up at any time, right?" Rosalie asked. "So we should take turns. Someone should be there when she wakes up."

"I agree, I think that's a good idea," Alice quickly chimed in, and I could see the two girls exchange glances, bonding over their shared thoughts. Izzy would be happy for that—the fact that her friends were becoming friends, and that her two worlds were merging. At least I hoped she would be happy once she got over the initial shock of it.

"Well, I have to work so I can't help with that," Jacob said. Everyone looked at him, watching him shift uncomfortably.

"What is your problem?" Rosalie asked, obviously annoyed with him. "You've been acting all put out since last night. What's the deal? This is my friend we're talking about."

"Yeah, exactly. She's your friend. Why do I have to come and sit with her? She probably won't even know who I am," Jacob spat in reply. Rosalie balked, clearly embarrassed by his words.

"Fine, don't sit with her. The rest of us will handle it." Rose looked over at me, her eyes pleading for help, and forgiveness. Jake was a nice guy, though he had always behaved a bit odd around Izzy and I. He never seemed to be relaxed or comfortable, though we always tried to be pleasant.

"Yeah, look, work is a valid issue. We all have it and we don't know how long this might take. I mean, Bella could go off the sedatives and still not wake up for days, right?" I said as I looked to my father.

"Yes, true, that could happen."

"Yeah, so we just need to try and balance the two things—taking care of ourselves and taking care of Bella. There are enough of us, it shouldn't be a problem." I got reaffirming nods from everyone in the room, except Jacob, who kept his eyes focused on the floor. I noticed a newly created distance between him and Rosalie, her slightly shifting away from him, and it stood out like a sore thumb as they sat next to each other on one of the sofas.

My mother leaned over to me. "What about New York? Have you changed your mind?"

I sighed before shaking my head. "No, I haven't changed my mind. I'm still going, but that's not for a few days, and I don't have to work between now and then. I'm just packing stuff, so I'll have plenty of time. Actually, I can take the nights, that way all of you can get some sleep since you'll have work and stuff during the day."

My mother piped up. "I can be here during the day for any of you that work. We'll figure it out; someone will always be here with her."

The rest of the meeting went rather well, us just ironing out any issues, getting questions answered, and committing to helping Izzy. We all agreed that once Iz was awake, we could give her a day or so, then come together and tell her about New Moon and that we were sending her to rehab. I knew she'd be upset, but I knew the laws and I'd use that against her if she tried to get out of it. If worst came to worst, I knew she'd back down once I started telling her all the legal trouble she could get into. She'd end up off of drugs whether she liked it or not, one way or the other. At least at New Moon she'd be able to go outside, not be locked into a cell twenty-four hours a day.

Rosalie offered to stay the evening with Bella, with Emmett coming in around midnight. I felt a little pang of jealousy at that, but I knew that I needed to be home with Tori. She needed to know that I was still committed to our relationship, even if I really didn't know what I would end up doing. With Jasper, Alice, and my mother all coming in the next day, I didn't need to be back until the next night. I would stay all night, and I couldn't wait for the time alone with her. I had a bad feeling that Tori would want to be with me, just to see that things were on the up and up, and I didn't have a problem with that to a point. I didn't want her there all night, so I hoped that if she did come, I'd be able to talk her into either going home or going into my father's office to sleep.

It was hard to stay away all day Sunday. As I packed, looking at relics from my past, my mind kept wandering back to Izzy and wondering if she was awake yet. I knew the sedatives had been stopped that morning, and she could be coming to at any point. We had agreed to call everyone once she was awake, and the fact that I hadn't gotten a call was a good sign. Though, if I was being honest with myself, the longer she stayed unconscious after the sedatives ended, the better chance that she wouldn't recover at all. I just really wanted to be with her when she did finally wake up.

As I got ready to leave for the hospital that night, Tori was fidgeting, pacing back and forth around the apartment. "Tor, are you gonna be okay?" I asked. I knew I should offer for her to come along with me, but I didn't want her there unless she specifically asked. I knew I was a jerk for not inviting her, I just craved my time with Izzy, and I knew Tori would be upset to see us together.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Her voice was tight, her words clipped and obviously stressed.

"Okay. I'll be back in the morning. I have my cell if you need me, you know you can call anytime, right?" I offered, reaching out to rub her arms before pulling her to my chest.

"Okay," she whimpered against my shirt. I placed a kiss on her head, nuzzling my nose into her hair. She was such a good person and I knew that all of this was really pushing her to her limits. She was wound so tightly, I was afraid she'd snap sooner or later.

"I love you, Tor. I'll see you in the morning." I pulled away and walked toward the door, stopping to glance back over my shoulder at her. I gave her a smile and wink, causing her to straighten her shoulders a bit and look me squarely in the eyes.

"I love you too, Edward. Don't forget that." Her voice was a little stronger and I knew she was doing her best to make me happy, to pacify my need to help Izzy. She smiled at me as I closed the door, and I hurried away once it was tightly shut behind me.

The hospital was quiet, most visitors gone for the night. I was once again thankful for the pull my father had and the fact that he had gotten the okay for us to be with Izzy twenty-four hours a day. Jasper was sitting in the chair next to her bed, silently flipping through a magazine, as I entered the room. He seemed like a really nice guy and after getting to talk to him a bit the day before, I felt like he was someone I could really get a long with.

"Hey ya, Edward. How's it going?" he asked, standing to shake my hand.

"Good, things are okay. How is everything here? Any change today?" I asked, bracing myself for any bad news that might be coming. Iz looked exactly the same as she had when I saw her the day before, and I was worried that she might never wake up.

"Well, pretty much the same, though she's been mumbling, saying different things. Nothing I can really make out, like actual words or anything, but she's saying something."

I smiled. "Well, that's Bella for you. She always talked in her sleep, from the first night I knew her. I remember when she moved into my house, that first night I woke up at like three in the morning and could hear someone talking. I freaked out, grabbed my baseball bat, and headed out of my bedroom. I could hear it coming from her room and when I opened the door, she was fast asleep. I thought I was going crazy, but then she started talking." I laughed at the memory of her snuggled up in her bed, her hair wild around her head, her lips puckered up while her hands where tightly tucked under her chin. She was beautiful, and it was that moment that I knew I was in trouble. I had been attracted to her from the first moment I saw her, but then to watch her sleep, so peaceful and beautiful; I knew I was a goner for this girl.

Jasper laughed. "Sounds interesting. Alice just punches me in her sleep. At least she says she's sleeping, but I don't know. She's nailed me a few times." He continued to laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's hard to explain to the guys at work that my little Alice gave me a black eye. She seems so sweet and dainty, right? Yeah, she's not really." We laughed as I tried to imagine tiny Alice taking a swing at Jasper.

As we stood there, Bella started to mumble again. Her words were extremely slurred and I leaned in closer trying to hear what she was saying. "Is that what she's been saying or is it always different stuff?" I asked, wondering if she was dreaming or trying to get a message across to us.

"She's said that thing a lot, but there have been a few other things too. I'd say it sounds like three or four different things, but she's saying them over and over again. Maybe you can figure it out; you've probably spent more time sleeping next to her than anyone else has." I nodded in response, knowing that I'd spent the better part of four years curled up at her side. "Emmett was trying to figure it out last night, but he couldn't. He said it sounded familiar, but that she never really talks in her sleep when he's with her."

I tensed up, my hands automatically balling into fists at the thought of my Izzy sleeping alongside another man. I let out a few quick breaths and Jasper quickly looked at me.

"Oh, sorry man, I didn't think about that. I didn't mean anything by it, just that Bella and Emmett have kinda been a thing for the past couple of months." I nodded, letting him know that I heard what he was saying, but didn't really have a response to the words. "Emmett's a good guy. He's Alice's cousin, she set them up. It's not too serious, though I think Em would like it to be. Bella always kept a distance between them, like she was afraid of something or just wasn't able to give herself completely. I guess now we know why."

It made me feel a little better knowing that Izzy wasn't totally committed to her relationship with Emmett, but I was still insanely jealous. "I'm glad he's a nice guy. I'd hate to have kill him, especially since he's so much bigger than me." Jasper laughed as I cracked a smile, thinking of stepping into a ring with Emmett and duking it out for Izzy's affections.

"Yeah, that might be a good fight. You know what they say though, love conquers all. I think you'd stand a good chance." He patted my shoulder in a reassuring gesture before letting out a deep breath. "So you're engaged, huh? This probably isn't a good topic in your house right now, is it? How's your fiancé taking things?"

"Oh, well she's not happy, that's for sure. She knows all about Bella and me, our history and how things ended between us. She also knows that I would never dream of going back to Bella as long as she's still using. I did it for two years, trying to help her and fix things, and I can't do it again. Tori is a good person, she's really helped me a lot and she deserves only the best. I just worry that I might not be what's best for her, especially not if I'm in love with someone else. How fair would that be to her?" I looked to Jasper, our eyes meeting, and silently prayed that he would have some words of wisdom to offer me. Something that would tell me what I should do.

"Wow, that's tough. I don't envy you, that's for sure. But like you said, you have to be honest with yourself, do what's best for you. It would be worse to lie to Tori and get married and have a family, only to decide twenty years from now that you can't do it anymore. You gotta be fair to both of them, even if it hurts. And I'm sure it will." I thanked him, letting him know that I was of the same opinion he was.

As he grabbed his jacket and started toward the door, I turned and asked him something that had been bothering me. "Hey Jasper, can I ask you something? Will you tell me the truth, no matter what?"

"Of course."

I looked back to Izzy. "Was she happy? Did she seem happy this whole time that you've known her?"

Jasper let out a sigh. "Yeah, you know, she was usually pretty upbeat and fun to be around. She was a little shy, but once she loosened up, she was really great."

"Oh, thanks." A sad feeling came over me, the thought of her not even missing me started to crumble me.

"But even with as happy as she seemed, I never believed it. She always had this look in her eyes...there was no sparkle there. No life. She would have this brilliant smile on her face, and yet her eyes seemed dead. Alice told me once that when Bella was drunk, she said your name. That she said she'd ruined things, something like that. Alice didn't know what she was talking about and Bella never said any more to her, but she did once to me. I never told Alice, I didn't think it was my story to tell."

I spun around to face Jasper, shock clear on my face. "What? What did she say?"

He paused for a few minutes, whether it was to choose his words or decide if he should tell me, I wasn't sure. "She and Emmett were at our house one evening. We'd had a lot of wine and a bit of tequila. Alice had taken Emmett into the other room, going through some family pictures or something, I don't know. Bella was on the sofa, just kind of there. She hadn't really spoken much for a while and I figured she'd crash pretty soon. This commercial came on the television for Volvo's, and she about flipped out. She started to shake—tears and everything. I didn't know what was going on, but I hurried to sit next to her, putting my arm around her. She cried for a few minutes before she started to talk."

I was waiting with baited breath, wondering what she'd said. He looked at me, sadness thick on his face. "She said your name, over and over again. Then she said she loved you and she was lying to Emmett. I asked who you were and all she said was that she'd left you, that she'd tried to save you. She kept saying she was sorry, she wanted to go back, but it was too late. She said she'd seen you with someone else, and she didn't think you'd want her. She cried until she finally fell asleep. I know she was a mess, and probably still is, and I know that you're both with other people now, but I can't help but feel like you two belong together. Just, whatever you do Edward, don't give up on her. She's a good girl and I don't know what all went down between you two, but I know she loves you more than anything. I can just sense it, even as she's laying there unconscious. I can feel the same thing from you. That's a rare gift, don't throw it away."

With that he said a quick goodnight and hurried out of the room. I pushed the chair a little closer to Izzy's bed and sat down, taking her hand into mine. All the things that Jasper had said began to run through my head. She told him that she left me for me? That she was trying to save me? She wanted to come back to me but thought I wouldn't want her? I was sick over the things she had said to Jasper, but at the same time I was relieved and thankful that she had thought about me so much during our time apart. I wondered when she would have seen me, how that could have happened. I had looked so many places for her, it made my heart ache to know that she must have seen me at some point, and I didn't even know. She was so close, and I had no idea.

I sat silently with her for over an hour, watching her and rubbing her hand as I listened to her mumbles, which were picking up in frequency. There were a few times I thought I could make something out, but then she's stop talking and I'd stop analyzing. At about two o'clock, I went out to the vending machines, getting a candy bar and soda. I wasn't really tired, but I was feeling so calm and relaxed, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders now that we'd found Izzy. I found myself nodding off a time or two and I hoped that if I got some sugar into my system, I'd be more awake and better able to hear what she was saying.

Walking back into her room, I could tell that she'd moved. It wasn't much of a difference, but there had been movement. I sat back down, taking her hand again, and was surprised when I felt her fingers squeeze mine. I looked up at her face, seeing a peaceful look there and was stunned when the long, black eyelashes that lay upon her cheeks began to move. As they slid up I was overcome with warmth, love, sorrow—brown.

Our eyes locked on one another, both of us completely oblivious to anything else going on in the room, and as her mouth opened, her lips moved, I finally heard what she had been mumbling.

"Only you, it's only ever you."

~oOo~

A/N: Yeah, so sorry for that lemon. I know some of you are gonna scream at me for it, but you gotta keep in mind—Edward is still with Tori, he's not cheating on Bella. And Bella has been with Emmett, so… :D She's finally waking up, wonder how things are gonna go now. :D

Time for an author rec. I've rec'd a couple of my closest friends so far, but this one is someone I don't know, I just LOVE her stories

lovelovelove22 – I don't know how many of you know her stuff, but she's good. She has SO many different stories going too, I don't know how she manages them all. I rec'd her a few chapters back on my What Hurts the Most story, but I'm doing it again. Seriously, she's so good. And she updates pretty frequently too, which is shocking since she has a brand new baby. :D My prereader Twilight44 prereads for her too, so I know I'm not the only one that likes her stuff. She doesn't have a lot of reviews, so pick something, read it, and leave her something nice. She's great, I can't say enough good things about her imagination and creativity when it comes to story lines. Trust me, you'll be happy you did. :)

http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/u/1951267/lovelovelove22

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Thanks so much for reading this and for being wonderful to me. I'm truly blessed and I don't take any of it for granted. :)