A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own in a shiny new modem and wireless router. I have internet at home again! Woohoo! Let's hope it stays for awhile. :D

Thanks to my superbeta MaggieMay14. She bought me in that Fandom Gives Back auction and still can't think of a story idea for what I should write. Anyone wanna offer up something fun and angsty? We're listening…

Thanks to Twilight44 & Unchanged Affections for prereading this. They so totally rock. I don't know how I'd do this without them. If you see them, kiss them for me.

And thanks to my girlies - MeowVemulapalli, Risbee, missveritys, and coldplaywhore. I love them. I got to have dinner with 3 of my school friends, and I wondered the whole time what it would be like to have dinner with my 4 girlies. I hope someday I get to find out.

There are two words in this chapter that will make coldplaywhore squee with delight. I'll bet I hear her even with thousands of miles between us.

Real life has sucked, sorry this is a little late. But it's long, so that should make up for it. :D This is fiction, so keep that in mind, all you medical and drug addict experts. :)

~oOo~

WIRMTS Chapter 6 - She Rages

Emmett stood stone still in the hallway, his eyes fixed to Edward and I as we sat together on my hospital bed. As my eyes began to widen, a look of concern spread across Edward's face, and he skimmed his fingers across my brow.

"Izzy, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes quickly scanning my body as he looked for something that might be causing my sudden mood change. When I didn't respond, he followed my gaze, turning toward the windows that showed the hallway outside of my room. With a quick intake of breath, he dropped his hand from my face and quickly stood from my bed.

Emmett's eyes were glued to mine and the hurt on his face was clear. I couldn't look away from him, the need to explain things and make him understand was strong, and I hoped he wouldn't leave before I had a chance to talk to him.

Edward stood watching him for a moment before turning back to me. He cleared his throat and I instantly looked up to him. "I'm gonna go, I should be getting home. It's Emmett's turn to sit with you, so I should go, give you two some time." He shifted nervously from one foot to the other, twisting his fingers together. I watched him as he slowly moved toward the door, hesitation clear in every step.

"Edward?" I quietly asked, worry showing through in my tone.

"Yeah?" he said, his voice filled with what sounded like hope.

"Are you gonna come back? You aren't leaving, right? I mean, like for good—you're not going to New York today, are you?" The thought of him leaving, of me never seeing him again, hurt me. I could feel my heart clenching at just the idea of it, and I didn't like it. I knew I couldn't live without him—I had to have him in my life in one way or another. My eyes began to fill with tears as my breathing picked up.

"No, not yet. I'll be back tonight, okay? I promise, I'll come see you tonight." He quickly moved back to me, leaning down and placing a sweet kiss on my forehead. My eyes slid closed as I gave in to the feeling of his skin on mine again, and I fought the urge to pull him back to me—to beg him to stay and never leave. I knew he had to go home, that he needed to see Tori, but I hoped that soon enough he would break things off with her and come back to me.

"I'll see you tonight then," I whispered, watching him as he walked away from me.

"Tonight."

With that final word, he turned and hurried out the door. He didn't walk toward Emmett, instead he turned and went the other way down the hall. My eyes were quickly drawn to Emmett's, and the hurt on his face only grew stronger. After a few minutes of us watching one another, he dropped his stare and looked to the floor. I wondered if he would even bother to come in and see me. I hoped he would. He was such a good man, and he had never been anything but kind to me. We had built a wonderful friendship and I valued him, thinking of him the same way I did Alice and Rosalie. I had tried to feel romantic feelings toward him, and I did somewhat, but never anything near the intensity I had experienced with Edward.

He turned and began walking down the hall, hesitantly slipping into my room as he approached the doorway. He still refused to meet my gaze, and I began to really worry as a whole slew of questions began to ramble through my head. What would I say to him? What could I tell him to make him understand? What was going on with Edward and I? Did I need to break things off with Emmett? I knew Edward was still officially with Tori, but did I want to stay with Emmett when my feelings for him were not nearly strong enough to justify it?

"Hey Bell," he said softly.

"Hi Em." I said, trying to make my voice light and cheerful.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, finally glancing up to me and letting me see his face. There were worry lines clear in his forehead and he looked as though he hadn't slept for days.

"I'm okay, I think. I'm not in too much pain." I didn't know how much he knew, if anything. I assumed that Alice and Jasper probably knew about my addictions, especially with Jasper being an EMT—he surely would have seen the signs, but would they tell Emmett?

"How is the withdrawal? You having any discomfort with that?" he quietly said as he looked over toward my IV pole, surveying the different bags of medications that were being pumped into my body. Apparently he knew enough to know about my situation, so I didn't feel the need to hide it anymore.

"It's okay. I think they're giving me medication to help with it, so it's not too bad yet. I still want stuff, just the habit of doing it for so long, but I don't feel like I need it yet. There's comfort in the routine of doing it, you know?" No, he couldn't know. How on earth could he have any idea what I was going through? I felt stupid for saying the things I'd said, especially as his eyes widened at my admission.

"How could you do it, Bella? How could you get caught up in crap like this? I mean...didn't you stop to think about anything? About anyone?" The look in his eyes was haunting. He wasn't just talking about anyone else in my life, he was talking about himself—how could I want to leave him? My stomach knotted as I tried to figure out what to say, what I could tell him that would let him know my feelings for him were real, but they just weren't enough.

"I don't understand, so please explain it to me. How someone like you could end up like this—it blows my mind." He sat down in the chair that Edward had been sitting in before, and his head dropped into his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. I ached to reach out and touch him, to reassure him that I was okay and that everything was going to work out fine, but I couldn't do it. I didn't know if things were alright or if everything would work out, and I didn't have it in me to lie to him anymore. I'd put him through enough and he deserved better.

I hated living this way—drowning in a sea of uncertainty—but I should have been used to it by now. My addictions had such a firm hold on me that over the past year there had been times when I didn't even know where I would get money for groceries. It was a blessing to me that the little old couple that owned the Italian restaurant down the street from my apartment liked me, and wanted me to take home leftover's each night. If it hadn't been for them, I would have starved from malnourishment while I continued to fill my body with drugs. The irony of it wasn't lost on me—I was starving myself so that I could feed my addiction.

I tried to think of an answer for him, something that would help him to understand what I was living through, but there was nothing. Emmett was a good person, most likely never having known someone who struggled the way I did, so there was no way he could truly comprehend what I needed to tell him. I cleared my throat and attempted to make my voice sound strong and clear.

"Em, I don't know what to tell you. I didn't start out wanting to be this way, it just kind of happened and I was too weak to do anything about it."

His eyes shot up to mine, anger clear in them. "Yeah, I heard all that crap about you being depressed after your dad died. Tell me the truth, because I can't believe that's all it took to turn you into this...this girl I see. You're not the person I thought you were, Bella. Help me understand this, please." He sat waiting for my wonderful answer that would explain away all the mixed up feelings he was having toward me in that moment, but there was no explaining it away. I was not the person he thought I was, and I was tired of hiding that fact.

"I'm not what you thought I was, Emmett, I'm just not. Maybe one day, a long time ago, I was, but not anymore." I looked down to my lap, unable to look at him as I continued. There was so much hurt and resentment in his eyes, and it crushed me to think that I had done that to him—that what I'd become had caused that. "I've done things that you can't even imagine, Em. You're so good, you would never do the things I've done. I don't even want to tell you because I know you'll hate me, and I don't think I could handle that."

I heard him let out a long breath as he shifted in the chair. "Edward seems nice enough. So are you back with him now? Was I just a place holder until he came back around? Is that it?"

I looked up quickly, shaking my head. "No, that's not it. I left him because I knew what I was doing to him. I lied to him and I hurt him, and I wanted him to have better than me. You were my second chance, Em. I hoped that I could be good for you, that I could make you happy, but I'm not good. I wanted something that's never going to happen because I'm not a good person. I'm not enough for you either, and I think it finally just hit me—I destroy everything I touch." Tears began to well up in my eyes as we watched each other. I really did love Emmett, but wasn't enough, and I needed to let him go.

"Bella, he kissed you. You know that's he's engaged, right? He's getting married, he's not gonna be with you. Why would you kiss him? Do you still love him?" I was surprised by his words, not expecting him to jump to that topic so quickly.

"I do love him, Em. I always have and I always will, but that doesn't change anything. I'm still not good for him, and he still deserves to be happy. If Tori can make him happy, then that's what I want for him. I kissed him because I love him, but I'm not delusional, Emmett. I know I'll probably never get him back, and as much as that breaks my heart, it's only fair. It's what I deserve." My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I began to nervously chew the tender flesh. The reality of my words washing over me, causing my tears to spill over and tumble down my cheeks.

"Bells," Emmett sighed as he stood from the chair and came over to me. I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he pulled me forward on the bed. I buried my face in his neck, letting the scent of him overwhelm me. It wasn't right, it wasn't the smell I craved, and as I grasped onto him, I sobbed for what I'd done to not only him, but everyone else I'd ever loved.

He held me for a long time until I finally was able to get my emotions under control. He whispered soothing words to me, stroked my hair, and gently rocked me back and forth. His shirt was soaked with tears by the time I was done. As he carefully pulled back from me, his hand cupped my face and his beautiful blue eyes met my brown ones.

"I'm not giving up, Bella. I care about you too much, and you're worth the fight. I want to be with you, and I'll do whatever I have to make that happen. Do you understand me?" His eyes held so much determination in them, I couldn't refute what he was saying. I simply nodded in response, unable to say anything else. He lowered his head and rubbed his nose to mine. After a few moments, I felt his lips on my lips, sweet and loving kisses brushing along the ragged skin of my lower lip. I kissed him back, wanting to feel the emotion for him that he so clearly felt for me, but instead all I could sense was the craving that had been lying dormant while Edward was with me. After Edward left, I felt it growing stronger, and now that Emmett was with me, he wasn't enough to overshadow my need for it. A burning licked at my throat, my lungs, and my head, and I needed to get away.

I pulled back a little from Emmett's embrace, carefully watching him as his looked me over once more. We sat for several minutes just looking at one another, while his fingers trailed along my face, my hair, and my shoulders. He was a good man, and I owed him better than what I could give him, but as I observed the way he regarded me, I knew it would take a lot of get him to let me go. He was determined, and until something incredible came along, something far out of the ordinary, he would hang on to me.

There was a soft knock at the door and I looked up to see Rosalie standing there. She smiled at me and I smiled back, noticing Emmett turn and look at her. She lifted her hand to cover her mouth as she sniffled and let out a soft cry. Emmett stood from the bed and leaned over to place a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be back in a bit, I'm going to go call Alice and make sure she knows you're okay." I met his eyes with mine, nodding in response. He turned and walked out of the room, Rose's hand touching his forearm as he walked by her. He paused for a moment as they smiled at one another, and for just a moment I thought I saw a flash of something, a flicker that could someday become something amazing. I wondered about them, but had to make myself stop as Rose walked toward me, throwing herself onto the bed next to me and hugging me tightly.

We cried together. She was my best friend—she had been for so long—and I had missed her more than I even realized. I knew as we sat quietly together, neither of us speaking a word, that she felt the same way. She was, for all intents and purposes, my sister, and I had hurt her. But still, as we lay blissful in our reunion, I felt the screams within me. I needed something more...the craving was worsening.

The day continued on in much the same manner as the morning had. All of the people that I loved came to see me, and I cried with each new face. By lunch time I was exhausted, and Erin, my nurse, shooed Alice and Jasper out so that I could eat lunch in peace.

"So, how are you feeling?" Erin asked as she took away my empty lunch dishes. "Be honest because I know the medications you've been on are probably not cutting it anymore as far as your cravings go. The withdrawal is going to be getting worse and I can't help you unless you tell me."

I pondered my answer for a moment, unsure if I should be totally honest. I had pretty much decided that I would just play along with all of this until I could get out of the hospital, then go home and finish things up the right way. With each person that came to see me, my resolve lessened and soon I was questioning what to do. Could I really leave all of these people, knowing what it would do to them if I really did kill myself? I didn't want them to hate me and I feared that they would.

"Um, it's getting worse. At first it wasn't bad, but I can tell it's getting steadily stronger and stronger. I thought maybe it was just the habit of doing it. I've done it so long, for years, and I thought maybe it was that, but I'm not sure now."

She nodded and came around the bed to adjust one of the bags hanging on my IV pole. "There you go, that should help a bit. Dr. Cullen will be in a little later and I'll ask him if he wants to change the medication. He said for now we're good to increase the amount you're getting, but you might need something stronger soon It's just to help take the edge off of your cravings, but they probably won't go away completely. You may still be a little uncomfortable, but at least it nothing your body will become dependant on."

I nodded at her words, glad that I wouldn't be trading one addiction for another. "Erin, don't you sleep? I mean, you've been here all day, don't you go home?" I asked, finally realizing that she'd been there since before I had woken up.

She smiled. "I do go home, but I live alone, so it's pretty boring there. I prefer to be here, especially in this room because your visitors are all so good looking." We both laughed at that, and I knew that she was right. I was a very lucky girl in that regard, surrounded by truly breathtaking men.

"Yeah, they aren't too bad, are they?" I joked.

"And they smell amazing too," she whispered, causing me giggle. She smiled at me as she continued doing other things around the room.

Later that afternoon, Edward's mother came in to see me. She was just as beautiful and sweet as I remembered her being, and I hugged her for a long time. She reminded me of my own mother, who I missed almost as much as I missed my dad. Esme had been a mother figure to me while Edward and I dated, usually introducing me to people as her daughter, and I admired her for the way she so willingly and unconditionally accepted me.

At five thirty Erin brought me my dinner and told me that her shift was ending soon, that she had some type of meeting to get to later. I was sad to see her go, but she assured me that she would be back in a couple of days. She was apparently filling in for another nurse that was out of town, which explained why she had been with me so long.

I heard a knock on the door and when I looked up, I saw Emmett standing there, with a huge bundle of flowers in his hands. A smile was stretched across his face and his eyes sparkled as he looked at me.

"Hey Baby, how you feeling?" he asked as he walked into the room.

"I'm okay. Those are pretty, who are they for?" I smiled widely, hoping they were for me, and figuring I was probably right.

"Oh, these? I saw them on the side of the road, figured I'd grab a few." He let out a light chuckle as he handed me half of the flowers. It was then that I realized he had two bouquets in his hands, and just as I was about to ask who the other was for, Erin walked back into the room. "There she is, my favorite nurse."

Erin looked at Emmett, her eyes wide with confusion, and Emmett hurried toward her, holding the bouquet out to her.

"Are these for me?" she asked with a disbelieving voice as she stood frozen in place.

Emmett's dimples started to take affect on her as he pushed the flowers into her hands and leaned over to softly place a kiss on her cheek. "Yep, for you."

Erin's face grew bright red as she stifled a girlish giggle, turning to take the flowers over to her desk. As I watched the two of them, a feeling of jealousy flashed through me and I made myself stop, not letting it consume me. I'd never seen Emmett flirt with another girl, but that's clearly what he was doing. He walked back over to me and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You feeling okay this afternoon? Any better?" he asked.

"Yeah, they upped my medication so I'm okay." I continued to watch him as he looked at me. Occasionally he would glance around the room, his gaze continually falling on Erin, who sat in the corner of the room at her desk, a goofy grin plastered on her face. It was confusing to me, watching him show interest in another girl, and I was torn between being happy that he wasn't settled on me and being angry that he was so obviously scamming on the girl only feet away from me while we were clearly still together.

"I can only stay for a few minutes, I've got a meeting in a bit that I need to go to. Any word from the doc on when you might get outta this place?" His hand was covering mine as he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.

"Um, no, Dr. Cullen didn't say anything specific, just that maybe in a few days I'll be ready to go."

"Oh cool, that's good. I wondered if you're going to go home or stay with someone." He glanced down to the floor. "You're always welcome at my place, Bells. I could take care of you if you want me to."

I smiled at him, loving his sweet, caring nature. "I don't know yet, but thanks for the offer. I'll keep it in mind."

"Hey Bella, I'm gonna go," Erin said as she walked toward my bed with another nurse I hadn't met before. "This is Alysia and she's going to be here tonight." Erin leaned across Emmett to get closer to me, her voice dropping to a near whisper. "I know she looks young but don't worry, she's good."

She pulled back and Emmett raised his hand, placing it on the small of her back as he lifted his mouth to her ear. "Thanks Erin, we appreciate everything you're doing. You're really the best, you know?" Erin blushed again, rivaling my own blushing abilities, and turned to go back to Alysia and discuss my charts.

"What are you doing?" I asked Emmett, seeing that something was obviously up with him and Erin. How much time had he spent here while I was unconscious? Had they been flirting with each other the whole time? I intended to break up with him, but this behavior was freaking me out and the possessive side of me was questioning my need to let him go.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sweetie. She's a nice girl, I've enjoyed getting to talk to her, but that's it. Why?"

I watched him carefully for a moment, not seeing any sign of dishonestly in his eyes or expression. "Okay, I just thought maybe there was something between you two. You seem to be hitting on her, poor girl." I knew the power of Emmett's charms—I'd been easily wooed by them.

He smiled at me, his dimples sinking into his cheeks. "You know I only have eyes for you, Bells. I told you, I'll fight for you if I have to." With that he leaned over and kissed me, hard and purposefully. I was caught a little off guard, but the feel of his lips against me soon won me over and I reveled in it.

As we sat talking quietly a few minutes later, I noticed several people walking through the hallway near my room. I didn't pay attention to who they were until I saw Alice standing in the doorway.

"Bella, you awake?" she asked, smiling brightly as me. Jasper was standing next to her.

I grinned at them, happy that they had come back. I'd enjoyed visiting with Alice earlier in the day and hearing all about the latest gossip at work that I was missing out on. I'd only been gone one day, and she hadn't even worked, so I wasn't sure how she'd kept up on all the comings and goings of everyone, but I knew better than to discount Alice and her freaky fortune teller ways.

"Hey Alice, Jasper. You came back, huh? You wanting some more of that cafeteria food?" They both laughed as they came into my room, moving to stand on the right side of my bed while Emmett sat on the left. Jasper began commenting on the weather and the fact that there apparently was a warm front moving through, causing the temperatures to steadily climb over the past few days. As we talked, I noticed Rosalie standing in the doorway, a rather reluctant looking Jacob sulking behind her.

"Hi Rose!" I said, happy to see her. She hurried into the room, which was quickly filling with all my closest friends. Jacob slowly followed her, choosing to take a seat in a chair against the far wall. No one said anything to him and he didn't make any effort to say hello to anyone else, including me.

Jacob had always been an odd guy, and I'd questioned Rosalie several times about why she liked him—wondering what about him had drawn her in so completely. He was always civil to me, though he seemed a little possessive of her and I thought maybe the friendship she and I shared was threatening to him. That possibility seemed ridiculous to me, but other than that I couldn't think of any reason for him to always act so cold and rude toward me. I smiled at him, and was not surprised to see him make a small, somewhat strained smile back to me in response.

Rose stood next to Emmett as she gushed over me, saying that I looked better than I had that morning. She and Alice exchanged a few glances, but didn't seem all that comfortable with one another. As the day had worn on and I realized I had both of my sets of friends in my life now, I hoped that maybe they would get along—that they could help each other when I was not longer here. I still longed for the chance to carry out my plans, though if I was being honest with myself, part of me hoped that chance would never come. As I watched my two best girl friends size each other up, I doubted that it would be easy, or that it would happen very soon. They were both quite protective of me and I didn't know if they would feel threatened by the other.

Emmett watched Rosalie closely, his eyes flickering back and forth between her and me, and I again had the feeling that there was something between them, though Rose paid hardly any attention to him. I figured that was good since Jacob sat stewing on the other side of the room. I knew he was only there because Rose made him come with her, but still I was surprised that he hadn't ducked out of the room yet.

After a little more time had passed, Dr. Cullen and Esme came in, each of them smiling but with something clearly on their minds. I was happy to see them, and it seemed like my room was getting smaller and smaller. I was relieved that the other two beds near me were not occupied. Erin had told me that they might move me to a private room, but it depended on what Edward's father thought, and how well I was doing.

I looked around the room, taking in all of the people that I loved, realizing that only one person was missing. Everyone seemed to get along well enough, or at least were making an effort to, besides Jacob who sat looking through a magazine and ignoring everyone else in the room. As I watched them, I noticed several more quick glances between people, some hushed words shared amongst them, and my curiosity grew. Yes, it was likely that they had all just shown up at the same time. It was evening, after all, and the first day that I was awake. It was possible that they just wanted to see me, but my suspicions were growing that this was something more than that.

The craving I'd been feeling all day began to worsen. Maybe it was the stress of having so many people around me, and knowing that they all knew about my issues. Maybe it was that I felt contained, like I was a display for people to see and observe. Maybe it was simply that the medication was losing its effect. Either way, all I knew was that a need was steadily growing within me. My skin began to itch, my eyelids growing heavy, and I was thirsty. I needed water and as I reached for my cup, Emmett moved closer to get it for me.

"I can do that myself," I snapped at him, causing him to retract a bit from me.

"I was just trying to help, Bella. I know you can do it, I'm sorry." Immediately I felt horrible for my tone of voice and I began to apologize profusely. He ran his hand over my hair, smoothing it down, and began to shush me, reassuring me that it was okay, he wasn't upset.

Alice trained her eyes on me, most likely taking in my shaking and mumbling. I could see the worry in her as she tried to carry on a conversation with Jasper and Carlisle. Her laugh wasn't real, and neither was her smile. She was concerned about me and my heart ached at knowing I was doing that to her. She raised her hand and began pulling at her necklace —something that I knew was a nervous habit for her. A feeling of dread was growing larger in me and I couldn't shake the sense that there was something more going on here—something bigger.

I was surprised to see Erin come back into the room, accompanied by a couple of other people I didn't know. She smiled at me and I flinched when I realized Emmett was smiling back at her. Why did that action bother me so much? Before I began to dwell on it, I felt a calm overcome me, and the clawing within me began to subside. I was grateful for the reprieve from my desires, but soon realized it was due to the fact that the one thing I craved more than anything else had just walked into the room.

Edward.

He was beautiful, as always, and I fought the urge to jump out of my bed and run to him. I saw the whole scene play out in my head. I would rush across the room to his waiting arms that were outstretched and waiting for me. He would kiss me, his mouth soft and tender against mine, and everyone else in the room would just fade away. He would tell me that he loved me, and we would walk out of the hospital and back to my apartment, where he would stay by my side all night, reminding me over and over again how much he cared about me. I wanted that, I wanted to be blissfully free, wrapped tightly in his arms, but I knew it couldn't happen.

His smile was tight, his lips turned up at the corners of his mouth, and there was no sparkle in his eyes like I was used to. Esme hurried to him, pulling him in for a hug and whispered words. I wanted to know what she was saying, but more than anything else, I wanted to know what he was saying back to her as he glanced toward me.

I felt a tension in the room as the small conversations that had been taking place ceased and everyone started looking back and forth at each other. Something was going on, I was certain. When Rose, Alice, and Esme sat down on the sofa across from my bed, and Jasper and Carlisle sat down in chairs on either side, my heart began to race. Edward stood silently next to the sofa, his hand on Rosalie's shoulder, and from the corner of my eye, I could see Jacob angrily seething alone on the other side of the room, his burning stare fixed to Edward's hand.

Edward cleared his throat before speaking. "Well, I guess we're all here. Erin, would you mind closing the door?" Erin turned and carefully shut the door, quarantining from the rest of the hospital whatever was going to happen in the room. A tension began to build in the air and I found myself squeezing Emmett's hand that still rested on mine.

"Bella, we have some things we wanted to say to you and I hope that you'll hear us out. We all care about you and want the best, so please just listen, okay?" Edward said as a slow dawning began to creep over me. This was an intervention. I'd seen these on television, always feeling sorry for the poor sap that let his or her life get so far out of hand that their family and friends had to step in and save them. I was the sap. I had let my life get completely out of control, and now my friends and family were saving me. The only difference was that none of these people were actually my family. I was alone, an orphan to the world, and all of these people were just replacements for the siblings I'd never had, or parents I'd lost so long ago. Even Edward wasn't my family, though I knew he had once wanted to be, but it was too late for that. I'd thrown that away and would most likely never get it back.

I began to pull into myself, feeling my shoulders hunch as the small of my back pressed against the bed. I tried to withdraw my hand from Emmett's grasp, but his fingers tightened around mine and wouldn't let go. Rose pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it, looking across to me as she did.

"Bella, you're my best friend. You have been since the first day of freshman year. You were the only girl in the dorm that didn't hate me or think I was shallow and vapid. We were so different, but you made me want to be something more than I was. I'd always gotten by on my looks, but with you...I wanted to be smarter. I wanted to be good at something, and I wanted to make you proud. You always put so much faith in me, and I never wanted to let you down." A tear ran down her cheek, and images started to flash through my mind. Late nights spent studying so that Rose could pass her biology test. Early morning workouts where I would quiz her on paintings for her art history class. Even twenty minute lunch meetings so that I could reassure her that she was ready for her presentations and her PowerPoint slide show was good enough.

I loved Rose, she was the closest thing I had to a sister, and the things she was saying began to slowly sink in.

"Bella, you don't know what the last year has been like for me. Not having you here...not knowing where you were, I went crazy. I didn't sleep, I couldn't eat. Things aren't right for me without you here. I need you, Bella. Please, come back to me. Come back to all of us, we need you. Let us help you. We all love you and want you to get better, so please let us help." She sniffled as her tears began to turn to light sobs, and it broke my heart. At the same time, I was appalled that my friends would do this to me. How dare they gang up on me and confront me with this. I was torn as to what to feel for them, whether it be grateful that they cared, or infuriated that they thought they knew what was best for me.

Alice sat forward on the sofa, her blue eyes peering into mine. "Bella, I love you. You're one of my best friends, and I want you to be happy. We've had so much fun together over the past year, gossiping at work and shopping, going to movies and just hanging out." I saw Rose flinch as Alice spoke, most likely thinking that I hadn't missed her the way she'd missed me, but that wasn't true. I had missed Rose, and Alice had been my replacement friend, though I had quickly grown to love her, too. I tried to tune out the emotions that were sounding louder and louder in my soul as each word was spoken. I didn't want this, I didn't want help and I didn't need it. All I needed was to get away from everyone. They would all be better off without me, they just didn't want to believe it.

"I have so many dreams for us, Bella. I never told you but I used to think about what it would be like someday if we had kids the same ages, how fun that would be. We could go to family reunions and they could run and play, and you'd be my family. I want you to be my family for real, Bella. Please let us help you. I don't want to lose you." Emmett's hand tightened around mine as Alice spoke, most likely knowing that it would be because of him that Alice and I could be family. I wondered if he'd thought the same things Alice had—about us having children together. If I was being honest, the only person I'd ever wanted to have children with was Edward. I'd never imagined anything but little red haired babies with bright green eyes and my fair complexion. I felt bad as I looked up at Emmett, meeting his eyes with mine. A small breath escaped from my lips before my teeth bit into the lower lip, pushing so hard I thought it would surely bleed.

Alice sat quietly for a moment and then spoke again, her voice softer than I'd ever heard it. "You don't know what it was like to find you, Bella. I saw you lying there and I thought you were sleeping. I told Jasper to go, to leave you alone so you could rest. If he had listened to me, you wouldn't be here. I almost let you die, Bella. It would have been my fault." She began to cry as Jasper moved to kneel next to her, rubbing his hand on her back as he tried to soothe her. I watched them, the love pouring out of him and into her. They were truly a sight to behold, and I could honestly say I'd never seen two people better suited for each other, or more content with their lives.

The fact that I was causing Alice so much pain wasn't lost on me. I'd never seen her cry with so much sorrow and heartbreak. It was almost enough to sway me from my plan, but I steeled myself and looked away from her. When I heard Carlisle's voice, I had to close my eyes, unable to look at him.

"Bella, I know I have a different kind of relationship with you than everyone else in this room. We aren't as close and we haven't spent as much time together, but I want you to know that I love you. I think of you as my daughter, and I am forever indebted to you for the joy and happiness I know you brought into my son's life. He was always a good man, but when he met you, something changed. It was like a light turned on and I'd never seen him more happy than he was then." I chanced a look at Edward, and regretted it the instant I did.

He stood silently leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. As I looked closer, I saw one wet trail on his right cheek. His chest was rising more rapidly than it normally did, and I knew he was having a hard time listening to things. I could feel Emmett's eyes on me, and was a little saddened when his hand lifted from mine and the cold air of the room took residence where his warm fingers had been resting. I missed the connection to him, even though my entire soul and spirit were wrapped up in the man standing across from my bed.

Carlisle continued speaking, his voice growing softer. "Bella, I think I have a different perspective on this whole thing, being that I'm a doctor. I know the physical damage you're doing to yourself, and I know the risks you're running. I hope you will let us help you, that you'll have the desire to stop this before it gets worse. I think I can safely speak for not only myself but also for your father, who was a really good man. Please, Bells, stop." As he used the nickname my father had always used, the one term of endearment he ever expressed toward me, I felt my spirit growl. How dare Carlisle try to appeal to me by mentioning my father. He couldn't speak for my dad because my dad was dead. Didn't he get it? If I died too, then I could be with my father. That would be better than this, than just being told what my father would think or say or want. My eyes narrowed at Carlisle and I prayed that he wouldn't speak again.

Emmett stood from my bed and turned around to look at me. "Bella, you know I care about you. I don't really know where things are going between us, but I want the chance to find out. I want it more than anything." He looked down to the floor, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.

After taking a deep breath, he continued. "I know things won't be easy, but please give me a chance to show you how things could be for us. I want to take care of you. I want to protect you. I want to give you whatever it is that you need. Please, Bella, just give me a chance. I promise I won't let you down." He paused for a moment before lifting his head to face me. "And if you don't want me, I'll understand, but I still want you in my life, in some way. I've never met anyone like you, and I can't lose you. Please let us help."

Edward shifted uncomfortably against the wall, and I assumed he probably didn't like hearing what Emmett had to say. The tension in the room was growing and changing. It was something different from the unsure feelings earlier, but it was no more comfortable or hopeful.

Before anyone else could speak, words started to tumble from my mouth. "I don't want your help, any of you. Don't you get it? I don't want to be here. What do I have to live for? I have no family. My body is so completely consumed with needs and cravings, I can't see straight. I have no one, nothing. Just please, let me go."

Every face in the room stared back at me, shock radiating out from them. They began to protest, but the rage was quickly growing in me. I would never get a chance to carry out my plan if I let them continue speaking, trying to sway my decision. "Just get out!" I screamed, startling them. My breathing was picking up and I felt panic begin to spread throughout my body. My hands clenched and the cravings that I had been ignoring started to scratch and dig at me. "I won't go, I will NEVER agree to anything! Just leave!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Jacob quickly stood and left the room, the door slamming against the wall as he opened it. I didn't know what his problem was, but I knew he didn't care if I lived or died, so I wasn't surprised that he would be the first one to bail on the whole "Let's Save Bella" thing. I didn't need anything from him, I never had and never would.

Erin started to speak, mumbling things about a rehab place that specialized in grief counseling and how it wouldn't even cost me anything, but I tuned her out. I genuinely liked her, but between her hopeful words and the glances that continued between her and Emmett, she was quickly getting on my nerves. I glared at her and the other people standing with her, really not caring what they thought of me.

Edward stepped forward, waiting until I met his gaze before he began. "Iz, you know what will happen if you don't agree to this?" His voice was cold, not the one I was used to or expecting. It was his court room voice, and it helped me to separate from what was happening in the room. "If you don't agree to go, you'll go to jail. Is that what you want?"

I seethed, spitting out my words in reply. "Yeah, at least in jail I can get what I want. I know that rehab place isn't gonna have what I need. I'll take my chances with prison." His eyes narrowed, a breathe gushing from him. As his tongue darted out, licking his lips, I had a moment of want. I wanted him so much, and I was only pushing him farther away.

"Isabella, if you don't do this, I will make sure myself that you go to jail. Do you understand that? I won't sit by and watch you destroy yourself anymore. I did it once and I will never forgive myself, but not this time. Either you do this, or you're on your own." Edward stared me down, and I knew that he was being truthful.

Something in me snapped. All the emotions that had been bubbling within me for the past few days finally boiled over and I couldn't stop myself. "Well, that will make it easy for you then, won't it? Your poor little Tori won't have to worry about me if I'm locked up in jail, now will she? Did she put you up to this? Give you some kind of ultimatum?" He stood quietly, anger rolling off him in waves. "I thought so. Geez, Edward, for once in your miserable life can't you just do something for yourself? You disgust me. Just get out. Go marry your little whore, I don't care anymore."

"Izzy, don't you talk like that. You don't even know her! She's good for me in ways that you never even tried to be!" He stepped away from the wall and toward me. The rage between the two of us was palpable and I knew the others in the room could feel everything right along with us.

"Why are you still here? Don't you get it? I didn't want you then and I don't want you now! Get out! I replaced you, Edward, and I never even missed you. Why do you think I never looked for you?" I yelled, watching the words I spewed cut into him and his face cringed, showing the hurt I was inflicting upon him. "All of you! You were replaced, and I could do it again. I don't need any of you, don't you get that?" The craving was in full effect now, making me say and do things I would never dream of under normal conditions, but I couldn't stop. I needed them out so that I could go on with my plan. I needed away from them so I could finish things off the right way. They might hate me now, but eventually they would see the benefit of not having me in their lives.

"Bella?" Rose said, looking at me with so much sorrow in her eyes, I had to look away.

"Just go, Rose. Jacob already left, you should go follow him like you always do." My words weren't as horrible as the things floating around in my head, but the way I said them got my point across, and Rose quickly stood and ran from the room, tears pouring from her eyes. She was one of the harder people for me to hurt, but now that she was gone, I couldn't let myself back out.

I looked at Alice, her sad eyes cautiously watching me. "Go, Alice. We were never really friends. Don't you see, I just used you as a replacement for Rose. I'm never going to be your family and we're never going to have kids the same ages. You're just delusional if you think that could happen." Her lips started to shake as her forehead wrinkled. Jasper straightened at her side, glaring at me. I looked back and forth between them. "You should have just let me die. It was a waste of effort, and just think of all the sex and sleep you two could have had instead. Wow, you really are idiots if you think saving me was worth that."

I watched as Alice pushed her shoulders back, ready to fight back. I knew how scrappy she could be when she needed to, how ruthless her angry streak was, but I needed to protect her—to save her from the hurt I knew I would eventually inflict upon her if I didn't get her out of my life now.

"You're not my friend, Alice. You never were, not really. Just go find someone else to spill all your gossip and needless thoughts on. I don't want to listen to it anymore, it's a waste of my time. I'd rather be dead, or high. I mean really, I had to be high just to listen to the mindless dribble you spouted off everyday." I looked at her, narrowing my gaze and giving her no reason to think I was lying.

She reached out and took Jasper's hand before standing up and turning toward the door. I was happy that she was leaving, glad that I was saving her from being dirtied more by me. She stopped, turning her head toward me but keeping her eyes low and not meeting mine. "Bella, I'm sorry. I wanted to be your friend and I thought I was. I'm sorry I'm not enough for you. I love you, but I'm so sorry." She pulled Jasper's hand and they left the room without another word. The room was quiet as Erin and the people with her hesitantly walked out behind them.

I was left alone in the room with Emmett, Edward, and his parents, and I wondered who would be next. I didn't have to be curious for long, as Esme soon stood from the couch and came to stand next to me.

"Bella," she said, her voice quiet and low, but still laced with anger. I imagined her as a fierce mother lion protecting her cubs, and I knew she was a force to be reckoned with. "I don't care what you say to anyone else, but you will listen to me before I leave this room. You have made some horrible choices in your young life, things that you should be ashamed of. You've done things that I can't imagine ever doing and you're making decisions now that will ruin not only you, but everyone around you." She leaned into me, her face only inches from mine. "I love you, Bella. You are my daughter, whether I gave birth to you or not, and I know for a fact that if your mother were standing here right now, she would be saying the same thing I am. You are better than this. You deserve more than this. You need to change things right now before it's too late."

I withdrew from her, actual fear pulsing through my veins. I had never seen such fury in another person, and yet she was calm and collected. The quiet in her voice was one of the scariest things I'd ever witnessed, and I quaked in the presence of it. She whispered to me, "If you make the wrong decision, I will find you and drag you to that rehab place myself, do you understand me? And don't think I won't. You know the whole saying about a mother protecting her young? Well, you are mine and I will stop at nothing to keep you safe. Don't doubt me."

With that, she leaned back and raised her hand to me, lifting it to cup my cheek as she smiled at me. "I'll see you soon." She turned and walked out of the room, Carlisle right behind her. Emmett and Edward both stood by, their eyes wide with shock at what had just happened between Esme and I. A shallow breath escaped my lungs and the tension is the room was at its thickest.

When I looked up, I found two pairs of eyes watching me, both filled with countless emotions. Emmett seemed confused, worried, and unsure. Edward, on the other hand, seemed angry, focused, and determined. I had to get rid of them both, and I knew Emmett would be the easier of the two. I focused my eyes on him and hardened my emotions.

"Leave, Emmett. I don't want you, you know that. Besides, I saw you looking at Erin. She's nice and I'm sure you two could be happy together. I'm too messed up to fit into your perfect little life. If you want me to be honest for just one minute, I never saw myself having babies with you. There's only one man I ever loved enough to want that, and it's not you." I pointedly turned my eyes to Edward, holding his gaze as I continued. "Every time I was with you, Emmett, I thought about Edward. He's the only one for me. You were a nice distraction, but that's all you could ever be."

"Bella, don't say that. I know things weren't too serious yet, but don't say that." Emmett's voice still held so much hope. I worried that he wouldn't be able to let me go, so I said the only thing I could think of that would make him hate me.

"Come on, Emmett! Face the facts, you mean nothing to me. Why do you think I never had sex with you? I mean wow, we'd get so close and then I'd just stop. Why do you think that was? Because… You. Are. Not. Edward. Do you get it now?" I yelled, raising my hand and pounding my finger against my head. "Get this through your thick skull. You're not him! You never will be! You'll never be as good as he is and I'll never want you like I wanted him. For crying out loud, Emmett, you couldn't even get me wet, you idiot. Just leave!" I turned my head to look out the window, listening as he stood by my bed, breathing in and out for what seemed like an eternity.

I closed my eyes, wanting to get it over with. "Go, Emmett, and don't come back. I never want to see you again."

I heard his footsteps on the floor, the rubber soles of his shoes squeaking a bit. His voice was soft, gentle as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Bella. I tried, I really did, but I guess I'm just not wanted." With that he left.

I sat listening for Edward's footsteps, hoping he'd get the picture and leave before I had to hurt him even more. He sighed deeply, then I heard him move and the door closing after he did. I waited for a moment and then let out a ragged breath—the pain of what I'd just done quickly overwhelming me. I was startled out of my discomfort by his beautiful voice.

"I won't leave, Iz. You can't push me away. I know none of the things you're saying are true, and I won't let you get rid of me again." He moved closer to me, sitting in the chair next to my bed.

"Edward, I don't want you. Don't make me hurt you, too." My words were quiet, but strong. His fingers were soon curling around mine, and I tried to pull my hand away, but he tightened his grip, refusing to release me. When our eyes met, I saw the pain and sorrow in his, but there was hope and love there too.

"I don't care, I'm not going," he said.

"Yes you are, remember? You're moving to New York with Tori, your fiancé. I'm nothing more than some girl you used to date. Some girl that you loved once. I'm the girl that hurt you, the girl you'll warn your sons about someday. You're leaving me, admit it." Tears began to build in my eyes, making Edward a little hazy as I tried to watch him.

"Just because I'm moving doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I'll never be able to really leave you. I tried, and even now, when things look so good from the outside, I'm in love with you. It won't stop, Iz." He shook his head slowly, as his forehead wrinkled and he sniffled.

"Edward, go. I'm not good for you. I'm only going to hurt you, and you'll hate me. Go. Have a life. Be happy. I can't give you those things."

I was sorry, and I regretted each word as I spoke them, but I could tell from the way he looked at me that he wouldn't let go. I shut my eyes and said lies that even I didn't believe.

"I hate you. You did this to me. You never really tried to help, you just sat back and watched as I got deeper and deeper into it. You liked me fucking Eric. It meant you didn't have to do it yourself." Edward breathed in quickly and his fingers tightened around mine. "Get out, I never want to see you again. Go be with your slut fiancé, I'm sure she's better at getting you off than I ever was."

When he didn't speak, didn't even flinch, I relaxed my hand and kept going. "Put me in prison, Edward. At least there I can get screwed by women who won't be so gentle and tender with me, the way you always were. Don't you get it? I don't want that!" I looked him straight in the eyes as I continued. "I wanted you to hurt me, make me scream, but you couldn't. Your cock just isn't capable of that. You're such a poor excuse for a man, Edward. Please, don't make me laugh. I got it better from Eric and his friends every single time. You never even came close to doing to me what they did. I liked it with them, I used to crave it. And you wanna know something? As soon as I get out of here, I'm calling Eric. I'm sure he'll give me anything I want as long as I suck him off and then ride him into oblivion. I'll love every second of it, and I won't think of you once."

Edward's eyes hardened and I saw his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed. "You're lying, Izzy, I know it. But that's okay, I still love you. This isn't over." He stood and let go of my hand, walking to the door before he stopped. As he turned around and looked back at me, something in him changed and within two seconds he was standing in front of me, grabbing my face and pulling me up to him. His lips met mine with such intensity; I couldn't help but jump at the electric shock that went through me. He knew that would happen, and I hated him as he continued to move his lips, forcing his tongue into my mouth. He made me mew and moan, showing him how much I truly craved him, and in an effort to cover up and hide from him, I tried to push him away. I clawed at his shirt, the same way the cravings within me were clawing to get a hold of me. I fought against him, the same way the cravings were fighting against the hold he had over me. I pushed away from him, the same way my soul was trying to push me toward him. He had me, and he knew it. I hated him for it.

When he finally pulled away, I couldn't stop from screaming at him. "Get away from me! Don't ever come back here, just leave! Go fuck your stupid slut and leave me alone! You made your choice, and it's not me, so what does it matter if I'm still in your life? You're not choosing me so I'm not choosing you. Just go!"

He turned and walked out the door, pulling it closed behind him with a slam. The windows in the room shook and I watched him retreat down the hall, his back to me. As tears ran down my face I realized something…he never turned around.

~oOo~

A/N: Hope that helped a bit with the whole Edward thing. A lot of you are upset with him for leading Bella on, but is he? And no, Emmett is not a player or a skeezy guy. He's trying to make Bella jealous, so don't yell at him just yet. :D

Author Rec Time…

Twistedcoincidence – she's incredible. Trust me. She only has three stories on FF dot net, but they are all so good, you won't know what hit you. I got to meet her last spring. We spent two hours chatting about fanfic while devouring cheesecake together, and it was so much fun. We did a little shopping first, but there wasn't anything cute to buy, so we headed for The Cheesecake Factory instead. Her story Paper Cutouts is in progress right now, and it's amazing. You'll love her other ones too, Unraveled Knot and Thicker Than Water. She's so good…you're gonna fall in love with her just like I did. She's in my favorite authors here on FF. Check her out, you won't be sorry.

I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.
And this has a thread on Twilighted.
Links to both of those are on my profile.

Let me know what you thought about this, if you understand Bella's reaction to her friends. Also, if you have any ideas for MaggieMay14, don't be shy! Share those babies with us, we gotta find something really good for me to write for her. She's worth it…