A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a rather large collection of Precious Moment figurines. I love those little glass dolls… :D
Thanks to my superbeta MaggieMay14. She just says the sweetest things… And does the bravest things… I can't get enough of her, and MAN do I wish I lived closer to her so that we could hang out... :)
Thanks to Twilight44 & Unchanged Affections for prereading this. They are both so good…so detailed…so insightful…so incredibly wonderful. :D
Sorry for the delay in this update, I know I left you with a mean cliffie last time. It couldn't be helped. :) But we've got some Edward POV going here, so I hope you enjoy it. :)
This chapter has another one of Maggie's Firsts in it, though I'm sure it's a First that you'd rather not hear about. It's gotta come out at some point, so now that it's out there, maybe we'll get a funner First next time. :D
While we were away, my wifey Mrs. Robward and I wrote an o/s for a contest. It won first place. It's uber sad and ultra angsty. I love it! :D It's called exhaust and it's on my profile. :) I also wrote a shorter story for the FAGE2 called The Maiden. I love it, too, and am SO happy with how it turned out. It's an 1870's Rancherward and Maidenella, so check it out if you haven't already.
Here we go…hope you like seeing a bit of what Edward was up to. Don't worry, there will be more from him and what was really going on a little farther down the road. :)
~oOo~
WIRMTS Chapter 11 - She Cracks
From: Edward Cullen - ecullen (at) shakerphillipslaw (dot) com
To: Isabella Swan - IsabellaSwan (at) NewMoon (dot) net
Thursday September 30, 2010 7:54am
Izzy, I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
I only have a few minutes right now, it's my first day at work and I've got orientation briefings all morning. I'm going to try and write again at lunch, but just hang on for me, okay? It's been one thing after another since I got here and I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to write you until now. I gave you my work email and I thought I would be able to access it before today, but I couldn't. That's why I came in a little early this morning, so that I could check it.
I'm worried about you, baby. You have to be strong, okay? I know you're having a hard time, and I wish I was there to help you. Even if I could just hold your hand during your sessions, or hold your hair back when you're sick... I feel so helpless here, and then reading your emails is just making me feel more anxious. It's all I can do to stay here and not schedule a flight home.
I have to go, but before I do, I want you to know, everything is okay. I meant every word I said to you, and I still do. Nothing has changed, so don't worry. I love you, and only you, so try to have faith in me. I sent you a letter, it should have gone out Monday. Maybe you'll get it today, I don't know. I'll write you back in a few hours.
I love you.
Edward
PS. Thanks for reminding me about that Halloween. I don't think I'll ever forget you in that baseball shirt. You were incredible that night, in more ways than one.
I woke up feeling wrong, not normal. I hadn't felt normal for a long time, but today was different. Something was wrong. I was on edge and anxious, snapping about every little thing. At breakfast, the food tasted off, bland. I couldn't smell things the same way I had the day before. My head was a little achy and my stomach was still twisting and turning, plus now my hands were shaking. I wondered for a moment if I should talk to Dr. Gerandy, but I didn't want to be a bother. It was probably just more withdrawal side effects, and he'd tell me I had to get used to them. I'd done this to myself, and I didn't feel right about burdening others with my inability to handle things.
My mind kept wandering back to the night before, as I had sat staring at my empty email inbox. I'd been waiting for something, anything, from Edward for days, yet there was nothing. I stayed on the computer for ten minutes past my allotted time, just hoping that maybe a message would pop up, but there was nothing. I wondered for a moment if he'd even get the message I had sent to him. Would he even want them? Would he read them or just delete them? I'd tossed and turned all night, trying to come to terms with the fact that he most likely didn't want me and was never going to write me back. For the first time all week, I didn't spend the day waiting for my computer time that evening. I didn't even care anymore. I was sure that all I'd be met with was an empty inbox full of broken promises.
By lunch time, I was on edge even worse than before. I had a session scheduled with Ben and the Grief Group. I knew I'd probably spend the whole time crying, and I also knew that Ben was going to ask me to share for the first time. I'd been hesitant up to that point, and I was thankful for him not pushing me harder. I was going to have to speak eventually, and he'd warned me that today was the day. Maybe that's what was making me feel so bad.
The little room was cold, my skin pricked by the chill in the air. I sat down on one of the hard, cool metal chairs and leaned forward with my forearms on my thighs. I didn't want to put my back against the icy steel back of the chair, not until my body had acclimated to the temperature of the room. There were a few other people there when I arrived, but I didn't speak to them. They were quietly talking to each other, and I could feel their curious glances every few moments, though they never said anything to me, or about me.
"Welcome everyone, let's all take a seat. We've got a few more still coming, so we'll start in a couple of minutes," Ben said as he walked through the doorway and into the room. He stopped off at a desk, setting down some paperwork and files before moving to take a chair. My eyes met his for a moment and he smiled at me, support clear in his expression. I started to rock back and forth just a bit, trying to ready myself for what I knew was coming. It took all of my strength to keep me in the chair—I wanted so badly to go talk to the doctor. Something didn't feel right. I wondered if it was the new medication he'd started me on, maybe my body wasn't reacting well to it.
A few minutes later, after three more people joined the group, Ben stood up. "Let's get started. Welcome everyone, I hope you're all feeling well today. We're gonna start off with anyone who would like to share something. Go ahead, and let's remember to be respectful of each other. We're not here to judge, we're here to help and support one another. This is a safe place, so please don't be afraid to be honest."
The room was quiet for a moment before a young girl stood up. I'd heard her speak before, her name was Maggie. She stood, fidgeting and nervous, her fingers playing with her long, red curls that hung past her shoulders. As she spoke quietly about her past, she cried a bit. Listening to her talk about her eating disorder was hard, though I felt a bit of annoyance building within me. So she didn't eat sometimes, who really cared? How was that bad enough to destroy her life? She mentioned her sister that had died in a car accident and that after it happened, she felt lost and out of control, which was why she quit eating. That didn't make any sense to me, and I tuned out the rest of her words.
Next a man stood up. His name was Peter and he talked about how his wife and two children had been killed in a house fire. I had seen him around the center, and he was always quiet and kept to himself. I'd never heard him speak in group before, and I found myself actually listening to what he said. His story was much sadder, about how his wife had asked him several times to fix their water heater, that something was wrong with it, but he just never had time. Then one morning, after he'd left for work, there was an explosion, and his family was killed. He felt responsible, because if he'd just taken the time to do what she asked, it never would have happened. I knew kind of what he was feeling, and I wasn't as annoyed with him as I had been with Maggie.
A few other people stood and discussed things, and finally Ben cleared his throat and I could feel his eyes watching me. I didn't know what I wanted to talk about, so I stayed in my seat, waiting until he forced me to speak.
"Everyone knows Bella, she's a newer member of our group. She's going to share something with us today, so let's all be supportive and listen to her. It's her first time speaking to us, and I know you all remember how hard that can be." There was silence for a moment, a chair leg sliding a bit on the concrete floor as someone shifted in their seat. "Bella?" Ben said, prompting me to begin.
I stood slowly from my chair, pushing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. After about a minute, I looked up, seeing that only about half the people in the group were actually looking at me.
"My name is Bella, or Isabella. I'm not really sure what to share today, I've been thinking about it for a while. I don't really feel good, like, I feel kind of off or something, so I'm not really thinking clearly." I sniffled, moving my hand to rub nervously at my nose. "My mom died when I was pretty young, about 13 or so. She was sick for a long time, so when she finally died, I felt almost relieved. I don't think I should have felt that way."
"Bella, it's okay to feel relief when someone dies after a long illness. It's only natural once that pressure is gone. I'm sure everyone here feels the same way," Ben said, offering me a reassuring smile.
"Yeah, maybe. So after that it was just me and my dad. He was a police officer, and I worried about him, but he was always safe so I didn't think anything would ever happen. I was in college, I'd just started working on my Masters degree, when he was killed. My boyfriend at the time was really helpful and he took care of me, but I felt myself slipping, becoming depressed and just broken."
I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, pulling roughly on the roots of it as I tried to suppress the feelings that were bubbling up inside me. I hadn't talked about my dad very much because of how sad it always made me.
"It wasn't too long after when I started using. My class schedule was really tough, and I just had so much pressure on me to do well. It was all self imposed, I know that, but still, I felt like I had to succeed so that my parents would be proud of me. One night my roommate Eric saw that I was really struggling and tired, so he asked if I wanted something to help me stay awake. I trusted him, I'd never had any reason not to, so I said sure. That was the first time I ever took a substance. I don't really even know what it was. It was just this pill and helped me stay awake and keep focused on my assignments. I never dreamed that it would turn out the way it did."
"I'm sure a lot of us can identify with that, can't we?" Ben asked the group, and I heard several of the people around me agree. Logically, I knew I wasn't the only person to go through something like this, but I felt like my issues were worse than some of the other people's here. I would normally try to tolerate them, try to identify with them, but today I just couldn't find it in me to do that. My fuse was growing shorter and shorter with each passing minute, and I wanted to get away from everything and everyone.
"I didn't tell my boyfriend what I was doing. He didn't figure it out until about a year later. By that time I was so far gone, there wasn't much he could do for me. He tried really hard to help me, but I didn't want it. I craved the dulling that the drugs gave me. They made it easier to think about my parents and the fact that I had no one left. My whole life, my entire existence, boiled down to my one best friend and my boyfriend. That was it. No one else would miss me if I were to die, and that fact ate away at me."
I remembered the way I'd felt at the time, how even though Edward and Rosalie both assured me over and over again that they would always be there to help me, I didn't believe them. Even Edward's parents had stepped up to offer support. They hadn't been around much the first year that we'd dated, but once my father died, they dropped everything in their lives to help me. They became like a second set of parents, but I kept them at a distance. They weren't really my parents, and they could decide to leave me at any time. I had to protect myself.
I bit nervously at my upper lip, rubbing my teeth against the thin skin there. After taking a long breath, and letting my anxiety get the best of me, I dove in head first with my admission. "I had sex with people for drugs. I was engaged the whole time, and no matter how much I hated myself, I needed the high too much. What's really sick is that it felt good, exciting to fool around with other people, you know? I think I got addicted to that feeling almost as much as I did to the drugs themselves."
I was sure the people around me were judging me now. I didn't care. I was done and I wanted out.
"My fiancé had been trying to help me, so he was watching my money. I was broke and I needed a fix, so I went to my roommate Eric and asked what else I could do for the drugs. I knew he liked me, or at least he liked my body. I'd seen him watching me, so I used that to get what I needed. It didn't take much to convince him, and after a few minutes I had his dick in my mouth. We were in our living room, anyone could have walked in, and it was exhilarating. The excitement of getting caught was a high that I'd never felt before. It was the first time I'd done anything like that with anyone other than my fiancé, and I let Eric paw at my body, removing clothes and pulling me onto his lap. It was late in the evening, so the room was kind of dark. He didn't see the tears running down my face, but I don't think he would have cared even if he had. He was too busy fucking me to care."
I looked around the room, taking in the wide eyes of several other people there. What did I have to lose? Edward wasn't writing me back, obviously he didn't want me. My friends had dumped me off at a treatment center in the middle of no where, obviously anxious to get rid of their "problem." I had nothing stopping me from losing my mind and my control, and the rebellious side of me was looking forward to a little bit of shock and awe. I wondered if I could really surprise these people, if I could show them just how messed up I really was. I wanted to push them, to make them see what a waste of time I was, so I continued.
"Eric was small, I barely even felt him when he slid into me, but I didn't let him know that. From the moaning I was doing, you'd have thought he was hung like a horse. I was a good actress and it got me what I wanted. I remember how his hands felt, squeezing my hips so tightly, his fingers pressing into my skin. I wondered if he'd leave bruises, but he didn't. Once he closed his eyes and started grunting, thrusting, I let myself cry. I tried to imagine my Edward's face, just so that I could finish. I wanted to be done, even as exciting as it was. I didn't want to get caught, and Eric was taking a long time for something so simple. It was just a quick fuck, nothing more. Once he was done, I wiped my eyes quickly before he noticed, and grabbed my clothes. He gave me the pills I wanted, and I ran to my bedroom so I could take a shower before Edward got home."
I paused, remembering how I had furiously scratched at my skin under the hot, pounding water of the shower, trying to get rid of the dirt that I could feel spreading all over my flesh. It made me feel sick, but I had just taken the pills so I couldn't let myself vomit because I needed the drugs more. I knew if I threw up, then I would have done all of it for nothing.
"Edward came home while I was showering, and he came in with me. His touch was different, it made me feel different. I let him have sex with me, and I cried all over again. I felt so bad about what I'd done, but it didn't stop me from doing it again. Before long, it was just second nature. I put my brain on autopilot and did what I had to do to get the drugs I needed."
"How does remembering all of that make you feel, Bella?" Ben asked.
"I feel like crap. I feel like I hurt someone who's possibly the best person I've ever known. I feel like everything that happened to us, all the horrible things that happened in his life, are my fault. Like I did this to us. Like if I had been stronger, then he could have had his happily ever after. I feel like I took that away from him. I feel like I ruined his life, all because I couldn't stop myself."
My stomach twisted and turned, and I felt my heart begin beating faster, pounding in my chest. My breaths came faster and more forceful. My hands started to shake. Anger was building in me at lightning speed, and all I wanted was to scream and throw things and run away.
"Bella, are you alright?" Ben asked, slowly standing and approaching me. The room started to spin and I heard a growl come from deep within my chest. "Bella?"
"Get away. Don't touch me... I can't..."
"Bella? It's okay, you're safe here," Ben said in a calm voice. "Someone go get Angela, quickly."
Everything around me seemed to move in slow motion and fast forward, at the same time. I could hear ringing in my ears and my eyes were seeing flashes of light. There was mumbling all around me, and I felt hands on me. The next thing I knew, I was thrashing around, screaming and kicking and grabbing at anything within my arms reach. I wanted to destroy everything I touched, just like I'd been doing over the last few years. I destroyed things and people, I ruined lives and broke the ones that I loved. I was not good, and I felt the overwhelming need to prove that to all of these people around me.
The sounds of metal sliding against the floor, paper flitting through the air, and bodies moving quickly filled the room, and instantly I was on the floor, darkness around me as people huddled over me. There was a sharp pain in my hip, and within a few moments, things started to get blurry. I couldn't feel my fingertips anymore, and my tongue felt heavy and thick. My eyelids started to close on their own, even though I fought to keep them open. I felt my body still, becoming unable to move or lift or thrash. Edward's face came into my mind, and I thought about how good his arms had felt around me. The way he'd held me in my hospital bed and whispered to me. I thought about his lips and how soft they'd been against mine. His eyes haunted me, and I wanted nothing more than to see him.
I wanted to stop myself from thinking about him. I knew he didn't want me, a fact made blatantly obvious by his lack of contact with me. It had been almost a week and I'd heard nothing from him. It made me sad that he would have said so many things he clearly didn't mean, though I couldn't blame him. I'd hurt him so badly before, so how could I be upset when he took his chance to hurt me in return? Whatever I was feeling, whatever reactions my body was having, I hoped that they would be severe. I hoped that they would be enough to finally end my suffering. I closed my eyes, giving in to the black that surrounded me and felt the familiar stirrings, reminding me that I'd been here once before. I'd pictured his face once before as I fell over the edge into the darkness. I was finally getting my wish.
From: Edward Cullen - ecullen (at) shakerphillipslaw (dot) com
To: Isabella Swan - IsabellaSwan (at) NewMoon (dot) net
Thursday September 30, 2010 4:36pm
Hey baby, sorry I couldn't write again at lunch. They scheduled a lunch meeting with one of the firm's biggest clients, and it was just so that they could meet me. I couldn't get out of it, but I'm done for the day now, so I can write you for a bit.
I spoke with my mom and she said that things went well at the center, that it's nice and that you were okay there. She said she talked to you Sunday. I'm so glad that things were going okay. Iz, I'm really worried about your last few emails. You sounded really happy and positive at first, but the last couple of emails have me worried. Let me explain, I know you're anxious about things here.
First off, the airline lost one of my bags, and it was the bag that had my phone charger in it. I told Tori not to pick me up at the airport, though I think she had a work dinner or something anyway, I don't really know. So when I got to New York, I spent a couple of hours in baggage claim, filling out forms and all that. I took a cab to the apartment, and Tori wasn't there. I noticed all of her stuff was in the master bedroom, and several of my boxes where in the guest bedroom, which I kind of expected. I hadn't talked to her a lot before I left Phoenix, but she knew something was up. She's a smart girl. It made things easier for me, though, so that's good. I wanted to call you Sunday, but the battery on my phone was almost dead. I went to three different cell phone stores and every one of them was sold out of my particular charger. Who knew my phone was so popular? The airline finally called yesterday morning, so I picked up my bag and as soon as I started my phone charging, I called my mother to see how you were.
Like I said, Tori wasn't at the apartment when I got there. I didn't see much of her over the weekend. She was always either in her bedroom, or away from the apartment. I finally talked to her Tuesday night, but she already knew something was going on. We decided that I'll stay in the guest bedroom for now, until I can find an apartment closer to the office. Tori cried a lot, I felt really bad hurting her, but I know it's for the best. I want her to feel for someone the same way I feel for you. She deserves that. So, things are okay here. I've spent the better part of the last few days looking at apartments. Nothing so far, but I'll find something soon.
I got your letter today, it was delivered this afternoon. Thank you for sending it. I liked the lyrics to that song, and yes, I've heard it. I was trying to think of something to send back to you that would tell you what I'm thinking. I heard this the other day and it made me think of you and how things are between us. I'll attach a link to the song itself, but read the words, they say what I'm feeling.
Fall down
Yeah, you're falling on your knees
And you're begging me please to help you
The sound of your screaming on the ground
'Cause the demons on your head have found you
I don't wanna hurt you
I just wanna fix you
I know I can make it right again
I want you to see me
I need you to feel me
That's all that I wanted in the end
Hey you, take a look around
I'm beside you
I'm right here for you now
Hey you, it's hard enough to be what you want to
I'm right here for you now
Right here for you now
Stand back getting closer to the edge
Just turn around and walk away now
Come back stop putting on the act
Can't I have ya just the way that I found ya?
You don't wanna hurt me
You gotta believe me
I know I can make it right again
I'll always look after
Don't care that I have to
That's all that I wanted in the end
Izzy, I love you. I always have and I always will. I know you can do this. You need to try and stay focused, okay? I meant what I said, and I'm going to try and come see you next month, after you pass your 30 days clean point. My mother said that you can have visitors on Saturday's after that, so I want to come and see you. I miss you so much already. I feel like I just got you back, and now I can't even be there to enjoy you. I've missed everything about you this past year—the way your hair smells, how soft the skin on your stomach is, the little gold flecks in your brown eyes, and even how your bottom teeth are just a little bit crooked. I've missed it all, and I can't wait for us to be together again so that I can show you all the parts of you that I love.
I love you, Iz. Don't ever forget that. I'll write again tomorrow, but hopefully this will put your mind at ease a bit. I'll call on Sunday, too. It sounds like you'll be busy with lots of calls that day, if last Sunday was any indicator, but I want my turn with you. I won't pass it up.
Be strong, Iz.
Yours always,
Edward
From: Edward Cullen - ecullen (at) shakerphillipslaw (dot) com
To: Isabella Swan - IsabellaSwan (at) NewMoon (dot) net
Friday October 1, 2010 9:14am
Hi baby.
I gotta admit, I was expecting an email from you today, so I'm a little sad not to see anything from you this morning. Based on your other emails, you seem to get your computer time in the evening, so I was hoping you'd be writing me back last night.
I've got a long work day ahead of me, but I just wanted to let you know that if you still want to coordinate one time each day that we think about each other, I kind of have an idea of what my schedule will be. We can compare our days and see what works. I can't wait to hear from you.
My first meeting is here so I have to go. I love you Izzy, don't forget that.
Always,
Edward
From: Edward Cullen - ecullen (at) shakerphillipslaw (dot) com
To: Isabella Swan - IsabellaSwan (at) NewMoon (dot) net
Friday October 1, 2010 5:49pm
Hey baby, I just wanted to write quick before I leave my office. I've got a couple of apartments to see tonight, and then I'm stopping off at the cell phone store before I go home. I need to change my calling plan around and I think I'll upgrade my phone so that I'll be able to keep in contact with you a little better. Hope that sounds good.
I'll write again later. Maybe we can get one of those instant messenger things and then we can talk back and forth. Is that against the rules for you?
I love you, Izzy.
Edward
From: Edward Cullen - ecullen (at) shakerphillipslaw (dot) com
To: Isabella Swan - IsabellaSwan (at) NewMoon (dot) net
Saturday October 2, 2010 3:29pm
Izzy, I'm getting worried. I haven't heard anything from you, and I talked to Rosalie and she said she hasn't either. I just need to know that you're alright. I hope there's not some reason you don't want to talk to me. Have I done something wrong? Do you need to focus on you and you want me to back off? Tell me, sweetheart. I'll do whatever will make you happy. I love you, please don't forget that.
Edward
"Good afternoon, New Moon. This is Angela, how can I help you?"
"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen, and I'm calling about a patient you have there in your facility."
"Are you a physician or a family member of this patient?"
"Um, no, but my father is her physician and I'm her boyfriend, kind of."
"What's the patient's name?"
"Isabella Swan."
"Oh, yeah, Bella. What did you say your name was again?"
"Edward."
"Yes, Edward. She's talked about you, and your mother was lovely when she was here last week. Um, Dr. Gerandy, our on staff physician, spoke with your father yesterday about Bella's condition. Under the privacy laws, I can't really-"
"Angela, what are you talking about? Her condition? You mean the reason she's being treated there, right? 'Cause that's not why I called, if that's what you're saying."
"Oh, no. Well, why are you calling, if it's not about her condition?"
"Wait, is something wrong with her?"
"You'll have to speak with your father about that."
"Well, I was calling to see if she's okay. I haven't heard anything from her, or gotten any emails, in the past few days, and I don't think that's really like her. I just wondered if she's okay."
"Oh, I see."
"Um, when are calling hours tomorrow? In the afternoon, right? I wanted to call and speak to her tomorrow, but I just thought I'd check and make sure she's still there, and that there's not a problem. I can't imagine why she wouldn't be writing me back."
"Edward, can you hold on just a second? Let me change phones, okay?"
"Okay."
"Thanks, Edward. Look, I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but I've talked to Bella quite a bit about you and I know how worried she's been this week, not hearing from you. Something happened in her group meeting the other day."
"What?"
"She kind of freaked out. She said she'd been feeling off, just not good, but she totally lost it. She was talking about her past and she just cracked. We had to sedate her, she was thrashing around and throwing things. Her body isn't handling the detox and withdrawals very well, so Dr. Gerandy is keeping her sedated for now. I don't know how long it will last, how long she'll be like this, but I don't think she'll be awake tomorrow for phone calls."
"Did your doctor tell my father about this?"
"I believe so. He talked to him yesterday, so I'm guessing he did. Maybe you should talk to your dad, get more details from him."
"When did this happen?"
"It was Thursday afternoon."
"Listen, do you know if Bella had her computer time before this happened?"
"Let me look and see when she was scheduled for... Most likely she didn't. She was written in for six in the evening."
"Angela, is there anyway to see for sure if she has or hasn't seen my emails?"
"Sure, we monitor all emails, let me just look. Um, no, she hasn't opened any emails as of her last computer log in time, which was Wednesday night."
"Okay. Um, could you do something for me, since she probably won't have phone time tomorrow?"
"Sure, if I can."
"I'm going to send her an email right now. Could you print it out and read it to her? I think she may have been reacting to me not writing her all week. I didn't have access to her emails and my phone battery was dead. I sent her a letter, too, hopefully that's arrived by now."
"Yes, actually we got it Thursday afternoon, about an hour after we had to sedate her. I've been saving it for her for when she's awake again. I know she'll be excited."
"Yeah, okay thank you. So I'll type this up and send it to her account and then you can print it and read it to her, right?"
"I'll be happy to do that, Edward."
"Thank you, Angela. Please, let me know, if you can, when she's awake. I'll call my father, too, but please... I'm really worried about her."
"I will, Edward."
"And if things get bad, I need to see her, so please just email or call me, I don't care. Please. I need to be there with her."
"Don't worry, Edward. I'll let you know. And we're taking good care of her, don't worry."
"Okay, thank you, Angela. Bye."
"Goodbye."
From: Edward Cullen - ecullen (at) shakerphillipslaw (dot) com
To: Isabella Swan - IsabellaSwan (at) NewMoon (dot) net
Saturday October 2, 2010 4:02pm
Izzy,
I love you. Be strong, baby, and come back to me. You can do this, you can beat this, Iz. I have faith in you. I believe in you. You need to believe in yourself, too.
I saw this Sara Teasdale poem and thought of you, of how I feel about you.
They came to tell your faults to me,
They named them over one by one;
I laughed aloud when they were done,
I knew them all so well before,
Oh, they were blind, too blind to see
Your faults had made me love you more.
I love you, regardless of everything else. I need you, Iz, so please, get better. I can't wait to see you, sweetheart.
Be strong, for us.
Yours always,
Edward
~oOo~
A/N: Poor Bella. At least we know Edward wasn't just saying all that, right? :D
The song he quoted to her is – "Here For You Now" by Lesley Roy. Thanks to Twilight44 for finding that. :) It's on YouTube.
And the poem is Faults by Sara Teasdale. Unchanged Affections likes that one, and so do I. :)
Author Rec Time…
CaraNo – have you heard of her? She's good. She's got some really great stories, one of which I rec'd on last weeks update of What Hurts the Most. It's called Our Yellow House. OH MY GOODNESS! I'm in LOVE with it! It's very good. And she's got some awesome other stories. A truly beautiful 9/11 story that will make you cry, and a super funny Docward and Receptionella story that will make you laugh. Plus now she's doing the EPOV to that story! Yay! Really good stuff, trust me. And she's nice, too. I always love that. :D
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/u/2712792/CaraNo
I'm on Twitter, and it's fun. Plus you get stuff, like teasers. :D
And this has a thread on Twilighted, though I don't hang out there as often as I should.
Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.
I'll send a teaser with review replies, so if you want a peek at next chapter, let me know what you thought of this. It may take a week or so, just 'cause I can't send it out until I have something really good written, so hang in there…it will get to you eventually. Also, ff dot net is being stinky about letting us reply to reviews, so I've been doing it through the PM system. If your PM's are turned off, I can't send you anything. Sorry, I'll try but I'm kinda stuck… :D
Finally, Happy 25th Birthday to our favorite boy last Friday! And on a Friday the 13th to boot! It really was a fabulous day… :)