This fic is for my cousin who is four and loves Sesame Street. It's a crack fic. It's also my attempt at being funny when I know I'm not funny. Feel free to cringe at my not-funny-ness.

PUPPETS

''Now Dorthy, what did Elmo say about manners?'' Elmo admonished the gold fish.

There was a clatter somewhere off screen, followed by angry shouting. ''Hey! What do you think you're you doing, kid?'' Someone called out.

Blossom and Bubbles watched with confusion, which was soon replaced by shock as Brick walked onto the screen in Elmo's World.

Buttercup, who'd been walking by the living room on her way to the kitchen froze, juice box limp in her hand.

Brick ripped Elmo away from the person handling the puppet, ignoring the indignant shout of ''HEY!'' from somewhere below him off screen.

''Keep in character!'' Somebody hissed.

''O-Oh!'' Elmo suddenly began moving again as Brick glared at what appeared to be the floor of Elmo's house. ''Can I-Elmo help you with something?''

''Yes, Elmo. Yes you can,'' He deadpanned.

''Well, what is it? Elmo loves helping friends!'' Elmo waved his hands dramatically, gesturing to the live audience off screen.

Brick stared at him blankly for several seconds, ...then bit the puppet's head off.

Fearful shrieks echoed from the children as Brick spit out the red furred fabric. ''That's what the fucker gets for using footage of me crossing the damn street as a safety encouragement on last week's episode!'' He turned to the camera then, scowling angrily. ''And fuck you, Boomer, for making me watch this shit with you! Next time we're watching House.''

He paused, remembering the second puppet he planned to mutilate.

''Now where the fuck is that bastard child molester Count Dracula? Counting the number of times I happen to be standing around that annoying, pink-eyed she-devil is no way to teach these dumb ass kids how to count to fucking six!''

''That's six! Six secret meetings! Ah! Ah! Ah!''

Brick growled, dropping Elmo's headless body.

The screen went black for a moment, before it returned with an image of a cat holding up a sign that said: Sorry, technical difficulties.

Bubbles turned to her sister slowly, mouth hanging open and eyes wide.

Blossom sat with her hands covering her mouth and her face redder than her bow.

''...PffffFFFFTTTT BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'' Buttercup broke out into spastic laughter, juice flying from her mouth. She fell to the floor and began rolling around behind the couch in mirth.

Bubbles let a slow, dreamy smile float to her lips. ''Boomer likes Sesame Street too...''

Blossom only stared blankly ahead of her.

...Brick did not just call out a puppet because it insinuated they were interested in each other...

The screen went blank again, before Elmo's World popped back into focus.

Big Bird was standing there, looking incredibly out of place. ''I'm sorry, everyone, for the technical difficulties, but don't worry! Elmo will be back in shape in no-''

''Get the fuck off me! Let me at that damn bird! This fucker had the nerve, the FUCKING NERVE, to say I was a good influence for children just because I stopped a bank robbery! My money was in there, damn it! What else was I- Butch, if you don't get the fuck off me-''

The green ruff struggled to hold his irate brother back as Big Bird began to shuffle away. Boomer took his place, smiling widely. ''Hi, Bubbles!''

Blossom turned the television off, and Buttercup started up another round of gut-shattering laughter.

''Well,'' Bubbles started after having whispered a greeting back to the blue Ruff, her tone optimistic, ''If you two did date, I'm sure Brick would be the type of boyfriend to defend your honor and all that.''

Blossom didn't respond.

We'll be finishing off the week with that BoomerxBlossom fic I warned you guys about. I myself have never written or even thought about this pairing, so I think we're all trying something new here. Happy Thursday! Unless it's not Thursday where you are...