When the bell rang in Professor Flitwick's classroom everyone packed their bags quickly, it was the day before the Halloween feast and everyone was excited.
"I can't wait until tomorrow." Ron thought out loud.
"They should really make it a dance. I've always thought I looked best in dress robes." Harry said.
"Well then I'd have to find a date." Ron with a look that showed just how much this idea frightened him.
"It's not that hard, really." Harry said.
"Speaking of which, how are you and Cho doing?" Hermione asked.
"We broke up like a week ago." Harry replied.
"Oh, sorry."
"Don't be. That witch was crazy. I snuck out last Hogsmeade weekend and met up with her at the Three Broomsticks. We were talking over some butterbeer when she just sort of freaked out. She said I was too flirty. She's jealous of pretty much every girl in Gryffindor and half of the rest of the girls in school. I told her to chill out and then she started crying."
"Crying girls are the worst." Ron said before immediately shifting to a defensive position in anticipation of Hermione hitting him, but she was too caught up in Harry's story.
"Well you do flirt with pretty much every girl. When she raised a perfectly rational point about this you just told you girlfriend to 'chill out.' I can understand where she's coming from." Hermione said.
"Really? Because she said I was spending too much time around you. She thought I might be cheating on her with you!" Harry said with a laugh. Hermione didn't seem to find this as funny.
"Just because you and I know that will never happen doesn't mean she does, she doesn't know me very well. If I were in her shoes I might act similarly." Hermione said.
"Fair enough, but she was even jealous of Ginny!" Harry and Ron laughed, Hermione just seemed troubled. "I definitely don't spend much time around her and I'm, well, no offense Ron, but I'm sort of out of her league. Plus she's my best mate's sister so even if it weren't for any of that other stuff I don't think that'd work." Harry added.
"No, Fred, George, and I would make sure that didn't work. We've heard enough of your stories about other girls to know to never let our sister be a character in them." Ron added.
"That's the spirit!" Harry said, giving Ron a pat on the back.
"So you don't think there's any potential between you and Ginny?" Hermione asked, almost pleading.
"Nope. Since when were you so interested in my love life, anyway? You specifically told me not to talk about it around you." Harry asked, suspiciously.
"Oh, I was just curious." Hermione replied.
"Well now that you know, you should know the weirdest part of the whole thing. The morning after Cho put on the waterworks I get an owl from Sirius talking about how I shouldn't walk away from a crying girl and stuff. It's like he's bugged the Marauder's Map or something." Harry explained, looking to Hermione for an alternative hypothesis. After Hermione continued to stare into space for a few more seconds he said "Uh, Hermione?"
"Oh, what?"
"Sirius; he knew about my break-up right after it happened and then tried to sabotage me with tips on how to get back together with Cho. How'd he do it?" Harry repeated.
"How'd he figure out how to treat women with respect instead of running away from them when they cry? I don't know, I'm guessing he must have grown up at some point." She answered.
"You're just trying to scare me, Hermione, I'm not going to fall for that. Sirius would never grow up! I was talking about how he knew what happened at the Three Broomsticks. I don't think anyone told him since I was the only one there from our year, obviously. Since you didn't know about it I doubt you did it, although I wouldn't put it past you, and I'm sure Ron and the twins didn't do it. So how'd he know? Is it possible that he bugged the map?" Harry asked.
"I don't know of any charm that would work on a piece of paper yet let you eavesdrop from a hundreds of miles away." Hermione answered.
"Well the old man does still have a few tricks trick up his sleeve, I'll give him that." Harry said with a look of admiration on his face.
"Well he is a bit of a legend." Ron pointed out as they took their seats next to the twins.
"Who's a legend?" George asked.
"Sirius." Ron replied.
"Yeah." Fred agreed. "Seriously." George added in a joke that only he and Fred laughed at. "The guy is a legend, though." "Yeah, enough of a legend that all these years later mum still hates him." "And that takes skill, me and Fred haven't achieved that yet." "Yeah, she still claims she loves us sometimes, it's sort of disappointing." The twins continued.
"I don't think you should ever aspire to be like Sirius." Hermione chastised.
"That hurts me right here." Harry said, grabbing his chest as though he were just stabbed. "If I'm exactly like Sirius when I'm his age I'd consider it a life well lived."
"I'll drink to that." Fred said as he, George, Ron, and Harry tapped their glasses of pumpkin juice together.
"But don't you ever think you could be more than just an... an old womanizer? I mean isn't he in his 40's or something?" Hermione said, clearly frustrated with the boys.
"First of all, Sirius is still in his 30's and, more importantly, you say 'womanizer' like it's a bad thing. You don't need to worry, though, I would be more, I mean I'd be a heroic womanizer, of course."
"Don't you think it's a little sad that he's this old and never settled down, never got a wife, never really had a family?" She asked.
"Do I think it's sad that he dates women half his age and has fun pretty much all the time? No, no I don't think that's sad at all. Plus, I'm his family, what more could you ask for? I mean, honestly, if you've got me as your family and aren't satisfied I think that's getting a little greedy." Harry said with a grin.
"You've never considered that it might be a bad thing he has a chronic string of short, unsuccessful relationships? You don't think that would be... unfulfilling?" She continued.
"Not really, because I wouldn't call them unsuccessful. I think he's gotten exactly what he wanted out of every relationship he's been in. Just because he doesn't fit in with your preconceived notions of what defines success doesn't mean a thing." Harry answered.
"Surely you don't agree with him, Ron." Hermione looked to Ron, almost in disbelief she had no one on her side.
"Err, well, I'm from a big family, so I can sort of see the appeal of that, but there's also my bother Charlie, you know, the dragon one, and he does what he loves every day and hasn't settled down yet, and that seems alright, too." Ron said, noncommittally.
"You've corrupted him, Hermione. Ron is mine, not yours. Find your own ginger." Harry said, shaking his head in disapproval at Ron's neutral response just as Ginny arrived.
"See? There's your Weasley, now stop messing with mine." Harry said gesturing to Ginny as she sat by Hermione.
"Want to explain why I belong to you, now?" Ginny asked Hermione, eyebrow raised.
"Hermione is trying to explain to us gentlemen why we should all want to get hitched and have lots of babies instead of having a fun and fulfilling life and she's using her feminine wiles to steal Ron from me." Harry said, to summarize the last few minutes.
"Well what's your definition of a fun and fulfilling life?" Ginny asked.
"Oh, Harry thinks the only way to have fun is to date a new girl every week, preferably one that's half your age, while never having a successful relationship, like his hero Sirius." Hermione responded on Harry's behalf.
"I'll allow it." Harry said of Hermione's characterization of his position.
"So you don't think you'd ever want to get married? You don't think you have a... a soul mate... or something?" Ginny asked, trying to hide the hope in her voice.
"Nope, I really doubt it. I mean, for me to settle down this girl would have to be awesome, like really awesome. I wouldn't just be losing the next best girl by marrying this hypothetical woman, I would be losing the sum of all the other women in the world that I could date. I'm simply not convinced a woman that amazing could exist." Harry concluded.
"You're such a romantic." Hermione said.
"I've been telling you that for ages, I never saw why you kept calling me a misogynist." Harry said, meeting her obvious sarcasm with his smile.
"Mostly because you are a misogynist with the way you treat girls like objects instead of people."
"I'm simply fulfilling the role society has made for me, Hermione. What kind of hero is humble and reserved? Not my kind of hero, I'll tell you that much." Harry offered in his defense.
"Well maybe someone who's not afraid to challenge society is more of a hero than someone who just got lucky a few times." Hermione offered.
"I doubt it. I mean, I could be terrible at picking up girls if I wanted to, I just don't want to. I don't see how the former could possibly be more heroic than, say, defeating a dark lord twice." Harry replied.
"I keep hoping that one day you'll grow up and realize that it takes more than getting lucky in a few chance encounters with death to be a hero." Hermione said.
"Thanks, mom. And until that unfortunate day that I'm sure we all hope never happens I guess we'll just have to assume that I'm correct. So... tomorrow's Halloween!" Harry said to change the subject.
"I heard Dumbledore booked some dancing skeletons!" Ron said excitedly.
"Yeah, I heard that too, although I'm not really sure if I'd find find that sort of thing all that entertaining, he should have just got a band or something."
"We saw those skeletons, once." "Yeah, they were pretty wicked." "You should see 'em before you judge, mate." Fred and George said.
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"Dinner's over and Ginny never showed up." Hermione said with concern in her voice.
"She probably just had some homework to do and ate in her dorm. Fred and George know how to get into the kitchens, you know, and they probably told her how to do it." Ron explained.
"Well she looked awful all day." Hermione continued.
"Woah, Hermione, I know Ginny's not really my type, and presumably not yours, either, but I think it's really uncalled for to call someone who is the sister of our mutual friend here 'awful.'" Harry said with a smile that showed he knew exactly what she meant.
"No, you prat, I meant she looked really tired all day and she hardly said a word this morning or at lunch."
"You may not recall this but my sister could hardly manage to get out a complete sentence just shopping for school supplies during my first year. Just because she's maintained basic motor function over the past month doesn't mean she can't relapse." Ron pointed out.
"I think she's over that, Ron." Hermione said, tersely
"Chill out, I just-"
"Do you guys not hear that?" Harry asked, cutting Ron off.
"Hear, what, mate?" Ron asked.
"That voice... it's talking about killing, and it sounds like it's moving upwards, come on!" Harry said as he broke into a run toward the staircase with Ron and Hermione in tow.
"This really isn't funny, Harry." Hermione said.
"I should think not, murder never is." Harry responded as they sprinted up the steps.
"Harry, I didn't hear anything." Hermione said, suddenly afraid this wasn't just a joke.
"I didn't either, mate." Ron added.
"Well I do" Harry said, rounding the next flight of stairs. "Or at least, I did..." he said, slowly walking out of the stairwell.
"You're really freaking me out, mate, I didn't hear anything" Ron said as they continued moving down the corridor.
"If this is your idea of a practical jo-" Hermione cut off mid sentence and broke into a scream as she realized what was shining on the wall at the far end of the corridor.
"Bloody hell." Ron said when he realized what Hermione had screamed at.
"Now's not the time for puns, mate." Harry said as the three stopped and stared at the sight in front of them. Then they heard the sound of feet running up the stairs. "And now's probably not the best time to be standing right here, either." Harry added.
"The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware." Sneered a voice that had just exited the stairwell. "I guess that means you're next, mudblood." Draco said coming around the corner to where he thought Hermione stood alone.
"What was that, Draco?" Harry asked as soon as he was in Draco's line of sight.
Draco took a couple quick steps back in surprise. Even though it'd been about a month since Harry punched him Draco was still a little shaken when he stumbled upon Harry without Crabbe and Goyle.
"I said it looks like the mudbloods will be next." Draco said with renewed confidence he couldn't be punched now that half the school had come to see what all the fuss was about. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had bigger things to deal with, however, as they heard:
"You killed Mrs. Norris!" Filtched pointed an accusatory finger at Harry and started to move in his direction.
"Woah, calm down, this isn't what it looks like." Harry said backing up slowly.
"Well it looks like Mrs. Norris is hanging motionless in front of a wall covered in blood." Filtch said, pushing hard through the growing crowd of kids.
"Oh, well, that part probably is what it looks like, but we had nothing to do with it." Harry said, just as Filtch broke through the crowd. Harry was about to turn and run when he felt the firm hand Albus Dumbledore on his hsoulder.
"These children killed Mrs. Norris, headmaster." Filtch said, trying to wipe the manic look from his face.
"They killed your cat in front of you and you didn't stop them?" Dumbledore asked.
"Well... I didn't see them kill her, headmaster, but when I came up the stairs to see what the fuss was about these three were just standing right there, all staring at her." Filtch explained as Dumbledore prodded the cat with his wand and mumbled a few spells.
"Ahh, so you have no idea what these three have done other than stare at a sight that is no doubt quite shocking." Dumbledore stated in his usual calm tone.
"Well.. I guess that's right, then, Headmaster."
"You'll be happy to hear that Mrs. Norris isn't dead, just petrified." Dumbledore said, returning his wand to its holster. "Now, I suggest you three follow me to my office and tell me what exactly happened." He said, looking at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
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"So which one of you would like to go first?" Dumbledore asked after they'd each taken a seat. "Miss Granger?" He suggested before Harry had a chance to start.
"Uh, well, we had just finished dinner and left to go back to the common room when Harry heard a voice." She paused.
"Did you hear the voice?" Dumbledore asked, to which Hermione shook her head no. "What about you, mister Weasley?" To which he received the same. "Go on, then, Miss Granger."
"Well he said it sounded like whoever made the noise was moving up so he ran up the stairs and we followed him. Then he said he didn't hear it anymore so we walked down the hallway we had stopped at. Then we saw..." Hermione explained, fall quiet as she remember the scene with the blood once more.
"Thank you, Miss Granger. Lemon drop, anyone?" Dumbledore said, seemingly out of nowhere as he offered a small tin of yellow candies to each of the three children, none of whom took him up on the offer."They're my favorite." He said, mostly to himself.
"So, Harry" Dumbledore started again, after taking a pause to eat the lemon drop. "What did this voice say."
"Well it said something about killing and it said it could smell blood, but I couldn't hear it that well since we were in the great hall and then we were running up the stairs." "And it was pretty quiet, too, so I can understand if they couldn't hear it." Harry added quickly.
"Mmhmm." Dumbledore said, as though weighing his options. Then, suddenly, he stood up. "Well you three had best go back to your dorms and get some rest, then."
"So... does that mean you believe us?" Ron asked, instantly earning him a cold stare from Hermione and Harry, both.
"Should I not?" Dumbledore asked.
"Err, well, we told the truth, but it's just... nevermind." Ron said, decided to cut his losses.
Dumbledore ushered them to the door and bid them all good night.
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A/N: The poll about a potential future plot point is still up for you kids to vote on if you haven't already. Also, the next chapter will probably be delayed a lot as I'll be too busy being awesome in Austin, Texas (and also too busy driving 18.5 hours there and 18.5 hours back...).
Too busy being awesome? I think writing Harry's lines is starting to take it's toll on my ego.
The attack on Mrs. Norris was moved up a day from cannon, you have noticed. This was inentional because it worked better this way in my opinion.