Doubt

Pairing: Thiefshipping

Rating: T

Warnings: language, violence

Disclaimer: *sighs* I still don't own Yugioh. When I finally do you'll be the first to know.

I feel sick. As if some being, a snail, worms its way through my intestines, leaving a trail of acid behind. Slimy liquid burning my insides, venomous, ugly, unbearable.

A little devil sits on my shoulder and whispers things into my ear. His voice taunting, teasing, cruel. And I can't take those words of betrayal anymore. The creeping suspicion that he is not faithful.

I once found women's clothing in his room. A red floor length dress, slit on the side until above the knee. Thin straps crossing over the back. A beautiful evening gown.

That was the moment I began to doubt him. Every word of his feels like a lie. Like acid destroying my heart. I am slowly losing my mind to that insane jealousy.

He is mine! MINE god damnit! I want to kill that woman he's betraying me with. Stab her repeatedly until nothing but a lump of flesh and bones is left. Because she stole my love. And I want to hurt him so badly. Hit him for every lie that left that cute mouth of his. Especially the one about his sexuality.

"I'm gayer than a pink unicorn galloping over a field of a million rainbows." He said and smiled at me.

And then he told me he was mine. That I was his only man. And I believed him.

I was such a fool. I can usually sense it when somebody is dishonest with me, but I've wanted to trust him. My stupid love struck mind couldn't accept the fact that he could have lied. Which he obviously was.

Suddenly the door to our shared apartment opens and the object of my anger walks in, a happy smile on his beautiful tanned face. But as soon as he sees me, the blonde stops in his tracks, joyful expression falling and a frown taking its place.

"What's wrong Bakura? You seem upset…"

That fake concern makes me want to vomit. Stab those exotic lilac eyes with a fork and cut his tongue out. A shiver of excitement and disgust runs through my body. Oh how good it would feel to kill him for his betrayal!

"What's wrong? What's WRONG? You know exactly what's wrong!" I hiss and hold up the black frilly mini skirt I found in his room today.

His eyes first widen and then narrow dangerously.

"First of all: what the hell did you do in MY room? And secondly: If you can't accept me the way I am I suggest you LEAVE!"

His voice shakes with anger, hurt and betrayal in his eyes. His breathing comes in ragged gasps, hands twitching and head slightly lowered. I jumped up and screamed, finally losing the last of my cool.

"Accept you the way you are? I put up with a lot of your stuff. But no matter how much I love you I can't be together with a WHORE!"

The bag he's been holding falls to the floor with a soft thud. Then silence. One single tear leaks from his eye, slowly descending his cheek and finally dripping from his chin, hitting the floor, bursting into tiny droplets that look like crystals in the setting sun that shines through the big window behind me.

"So that's what you think about me… That I am a whore. Just because I like to wear women's clothing once in a while…"

Then he turns around to storm out of our apartment. I won't let him leave though, quickly jumping over the small glass table in the middle of our living room and grabbing his wrist in a vice like grip. He tries to break free, to jerk his hand away, but I am too strong, easily holding onto him.

"Malik… I'm sorry. I-I thought you… you decided against being gay. That you had some woman…" I whisper barely audible due to my shame, breathing hitching in my throat.

Please forgive me! I should have known he'd never betray me. Should have known better than to doubt him. I have just lost so much in the course of my life. Every time I was happy, that joy had been taken away from me. Every friend or lover had left me, cheated me.

I am so afraid of losing him. I don't know if I could live without him. I doubt it.

And he understands. Always does. Because inside we are the same. Scared and lonely children, surrounded by darkness, desperately clinging to every bit of hope we can get, but too afraid of loss to embrace its warmth.

He stops struggling and instead turns around to hug me. His arms tighten around me, nearly suffocating me, and the tears he's been holding back finally run freely. I return the embrace, awkwardly patting him on the back, trying to comfort him. I am really not good at this kind of things.

"I love you…", he suddenly sobs, "I love you so fucking much Bakura!"

I couldn't possibly be happier and join him in his crying.

"I love you too Malik."

Word count: 843