Seconds turned into minutes… minutes turned into hours… hours turned into days and days turned into weeks. Rachel's days began to blur together as every day she continued to put on her fake smile.

Her daily routine consisted of waking up, grabbing something to eat, checking the mail for letters from Noah, getting ready for school, driving to the Puckerman's house and helping Mary get Lily ready for school before she drove the little girl to school as Mary couldn't as she would be late for work at the hospital if she did, check her phone for messages from Noah, drive to school, make sure phone was in her pocket so she would feel it vibrate it she received a txt or call, go to class, pretend to be happy, lie when people asked her if she knew where Puck was, play with her necklace, check her phone, eat lunch, check her phone, go to class, check her phone, go to Glee practice, check her phone, make sure Mr Shue doesn't tell anyone where Noah is as only the teachers had been informed of the situation, check her phone, pick up Lily, drive to the Puckerman house, check their mail, cook dinner there for when Mary got home, check her phone, clean around the house, help Lily with her homework, assure the little girl that her brother does love her and that he will be home soon, check her phone, give Lily a bath, drive home once Mary arrive home, check the mailbox, check her phone, do her homework, check her phone, cook dinner for her fathers, check her phone, cry herself to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night, check her phone, cry herself to sleep… repeat.

But no matter how many times she checked her mail box or checked her phone there would never be any news no sign that he was alive even though she knew he was after she got her Daddy to call the training facility in California and confirm that Noah was indeed there.

It had been a month by the time the Glee members finally stopped believing that Puck was away visiting his sick non existing Uncle and demanded answers from Mr Shue as none of them knew of her relationship with him so thankfully they were not bugging her for answers.

"Come on Mr Shue Mike, Sam and I left him in California he said he was going to go visit his Uncle for a few days and come home straight after that. I mean sure Puck doesn't like school but there is no way that we can believe that he is still visiting this Uncle that no one has ever heard of when we haven't heard from him in over a month! He hasn't even rung or txt us!" Finn was upset that his best friend just suddenly up and left and appeared to have simply vanished without a trace.

"Guys I'm only telling you what I have been told I don't know anymore than you do" Mr Shue said unconvincingly

"Mr Shue you know when your lieing you bite your bottom lip" Santana said crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at the older man

"Guys please we don't have time for this right now we need to find a replacement for Puck" Mr Shue said trying to sound stern

"But Mr Shue why do we need a replacement for Puck when he is coming back… he is coming back isn't he?" Kurt asked now also suspicious about this whole situation

"Guys please just leave it" Mr Shue said now obviously getting fed up

But they wouldn't stop and before Mr Shue could try and start the class everyone but Rachel started to ask questions all at once so quickly that only partial parts of each question could be made out or understood.

Rachel clutched desperately at the ring hidden in her shirt hanging from her necklace all this talk about her Noah was causing her heart to beat faster than normal even for these days. She felt suffocated as he chest began to clench as if it was trying to prevent her from breathing.

Glancing over at Mr Shue her panic increased as she saw him fail to answer question after question. This wasn't meant to be happening she was meant to be holding it together she was meant to be holding everything and everyone together but right now she was doing a rather poor job at it.

"Please stop" she whispered as the pain in her chest became worse

"Stop" she chocked out as she fought back tears

She hadn't cried since the first time she read the letter… no she couldn't cry she had to be strong… strong for her Noah… strong so she could keep her promise and look after his family… she had to hold it together… but she already knew it was to late for that it had been too late before she even read the letter because she wasn't strong enough to hold it together… because he left… he left her.

"JUST SHUT UP" She screamed standing up still clenching her chest as the pain continued to grow

"JUST SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" She screamed so loud that not one person dared to do or say anything they all just stared at her in shock

"YOU WANT TO KNOW HU! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY HE ISNT HERE!" She hollered glaring furiously at all of them.

She had been holding all of this in. Holding everything in for a month now and it had just became to much. She couldn't hold it in anymore.

"HE ISNT HERE BECAUSE HE LEFT OK! HE LEFT! HE LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO ANYONE HE LEFT NOT CARING WHAT IT WOULD DO TO THE PEOPLE HE LEFT BEHIND HE JUST WILLY NILLY WENT OFF AND JOINED THE FUCKING ARMY WITHOUT EVEN TELLING HIS OWN FAMILY! WITHOUT TELLING ME! HE JUST LEFT AND SUSPECTED US TO ALL JUST CONTINUE ON LIKE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED LIKE IT DOESN'T HURT! LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIS SISTER EVERY DAY THAT HE LOVES HER AND THAT HE DIDN'T LEAVE LIKE HER DADDY DID! HE DOESN'T CARE THAT HIS MOTHER IS WALKING AROUND LIKE A FUCKING ZOMBIE, SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SHE JUST CRYS ALL THE TIME AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF HE MADE ME PROMISE TO LOOK AFTER THEM TO MAKE SURE THAT I TOOK CARE OF THEM BUT GUESS WHAT I CANT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HOW AM I MEANT TO LOOK AFTER HIS FAMILY WHEM I CANT EVEN SLEEPP AT NIGHT WITHOUT HAVING DREAMS OF HIM DIEING ON THE BATTELFIED WHEN I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT KNOWING THAT HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE THAT HE CARES SO LITTLE ABOUT ME THAT…. He… he didn't say goodbye… he didn't… oh god… he didn't"

No one spoke they just watched as the one person who always knew how to hold it all together, their team leader crumble into little pieces right before their eyes. No one knew what to say after everything they had just heard spill out of Rachel's mouth.

She didn't even care when her knees gave way and that she was no on the ground clutching her chest in agony tears flowing from his eyes.

"Rachel were you and Puck… together?" Quinn of all people shocking everyone as she knelt down next to the broken girl reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"How could he ask me something so important and then just leave… how Quinn" Rachel begged the girl she needed an answer but she knew before she even asked that she would not receive one… not one that would make her feel any better anyway.

"Rachel… honey what did he ask you" Quinn asked softly

And they all waited and watched as Rachel finally reached inside her shirt to pull of a gleaming white gold diamond engagement ring.

"He asked me to marry him" She sobbed before she gave into the pain that had now become utterly unbearable as she let the darkness take her the last thing she saw was the shocked faces of her friends before Quinn quickly caught her.

Not sure if this chapter is any good or not so can you please not just subscribe to story alert and please add a review I know my writing style is different from alot of people seeing as I have alot more thoughts and feelings written than actual dialog so sorry about that but I cant help it really its just how I write.

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I need to know enough people actually like this so I can continue :) If anyone reading are past readers of my stories then they will know that I am pretty bad at actually every finishing any of my stories and they just usually end up being put up for adoption :) sorry about that but yeah i get bored and derstraced easily and usually that results in my having a new idea writing chaps running out of ideas and then getting a new idea for a new story and forgetting about the last one.

But i dont want to do that with this story I actually hope to finish it :) so please

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