Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
AN: Okay, okay. This one's a week late. I am a loser. I know that. Skip to the story now if you want to be spared my pathetic excuses. I try to write with at least one chapter completed as a reserve. But then I sort of hit a wall with chapter 7 and work got crazy so I haven't been able to finish that one yet. BUT I missed a week and I have been making slow progress, so here's chapter 6. Hopefully 7 will be finished this time next week so we can get back to the regular schedule.
The intended title for this chapter was "If You Hate Your Friends, You're Not Alone" (a song by Pretty Girls Make Graves) but it was too long. Replaced by "It's Complicated" by ADTR. Every chapter title has been a song, actually! If you can name the band you win... probably nothing! Maybe I'll reference something of your choosing in the next chapter! Or something!
drevil99 and TwistedRaver beta'd this chapter in between perfecting space travel and beating the mole people back into the cold abyss beneath the earth's crust.
Warnings: You're this far in, you should know about most of the awful things I do here by now. Nothing particularly bad in this chapter, though, I don't think...
Adam sat outside, near the trees – back against the fence, sandwich in his lap, headphones over his ears. He would never understand why more people didn't eat outside. It was a little chilly, sure – but the color of the sky and the rustle of the trees made it absolutely worth it.
Lunch had started nearly ten minutes ago and he hadn't seen Clare or Eli.
It was a bit strange, but he didn't really feel like getting up and looking for them.
He closed his eyes and let his head drop back against the fence.
"Adam!" Clare's voice rose above the music in his ears.
He cracked open one eye slowly. "Hey."
She smiled, and held out a hand to him. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"
"Eating lunch," he shrugged, slipping his headphones off. "Waiting for you and Eli."
"Eli didn't make it today," Clare informed him. "Come eat lunch inside with me."
"It's nice out," Adam protested although he was already sliding his sandwich back into the brown paper bag his mother had packed for him.
"C'mon," she smiled radiantly.
He slipped his hand into hers, rising as she pulled him forward.
"Your lip..."
She trailed off gaze darting between his eyes and his lip.
"Yeah," he said awkwardly; acutely aware of how close they were standing and how he hadn't let go of her hands yet. He swallowed hard when the scent of her perfume hit his nose.
"What happened?" she breathed.
He shrugged, squeezing her hands and smiling.
She led him inside, pinkies intertwined.
The serene smile slipped from his face when they stopped in front of her table.
"Hi Adam," Alli Bhandari greeted him politely.
"Uh, hey," he waved shortly, sitting across from her. Clare sat next to him. If he scooted over just a bit more he could feel her thighs against his jeans.
He laid his sandwich out on the table and forced himself to remain in his place.
"Where's Eli anyway?" he asked after a moment.
"He texted me earlier," Clare started. "Said he wasn't feeling well."
"Oh," Adam frowned. Eli had seemed fine when he dropped Adam off at home last night. He decided to keep his mouth shut, though – it was quite obvious that Eli had plenty of things he didn't want Clare to know.
"Don't worry, he's still going to be meeting us at the park after school today for the project," Clare continued. "I checked."
"Project?" Adam echoed, confused.
"Yeah," Clare's brows furrowed adorably. "I finished writing the script for the Shakespeare project Ms. Dawes assigned. I told Eli to tell you last night."
"Oh," Adam shifted uncomfortably. "He must have forgot."
Clare shot him a panicked look. "You can make it, right? We'll need at least three people!"
"Chill, chill," Adam put a hand on her arm and smiled reassuringly. "I'll be there."
She smiled brightly.
The loud sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them.
Adam turned around.
"Andrew?" he frowned.
"Uh, hey," Drew said, standing awkwardly behind him, tray in hand.
"What's up?" he asked, wondering if something had gone wrong.
"Nothing, just thought I'd drop by," Drew said, surveying the table cautiously.
"Oh," Adam tapped his fingers against the table nervously. "Okay. Um, Drew this is Clare Edwards – Clare, my brother Drew."
"Hi," she waved.
"'Sup?"
"And this is-"
"Alli Bhandari," Drew finished, staring at the girl, face unreadable.
Adam's brow creased. "You've met?"
"You could say that," Alli scowled.
"Um, Adam?" Drew shifted nervously. "Think I could talk to you outside or something?"
Adam paused shooting a look to Clare. She shrugged helplessly.
"Sure," he said slowly, rising from the table; gathering his lunch for the second time. "I'll catch you later, Clare?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "Meet me at the zen garden after school. Bye, Adam."
He waved and followed Drew out of the cafeteria.
"Were you telling the truth?" Drew asked once they were alone.
Adam shot him a look over his shoulder. "What?"
"Last night," Drew frowned, grabbing Adam's backpack and slowing them both to a stop. "About your face."
Adam looked out across the parking lot and gritted his teeth.
"It didn't really happen in rec, did it," Drew pressed, grabbing Adam by the shoulders and turning him around to look him in the eye. "I mean, I know you're not doing a dodgeball unit. You were just complained about starting ballroom this week."
Adam winced and tried to pull from his brother's grip, but Drew's hold just tightened.
"What happened, Adam?" Drew's voice was low and serious.
Adam sighed, and ran his tongue along his swollen lip. "Drew, it's honestly not a big deal."
"Fuck," Drew cursed quietly, letting him go and tugging his hair. "Adam what the fuck?"
"Chill out," Adam hissed. "Why is this such a big deal to you?"
"Seriously, Adam?" Drew scoffed. "If someone's messing with you I need to know."
"Why?" Adam demanded. "So you can go make a big fucking deal out of it? I can handle myself, Andrew."
"Yeah," Drew shot back. "You sure proved that last time."
Adam winced, taking a step back from his brother.
Drew stared at him hard a moment before deflating. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Adam shook his head. "Whatever."
"I just don't want you to get hurt," Drew promised anxiously. "After last time, I just..."
Adam's shoulders tensed. "Last time won't ever happen again, Andrew."
"You can't know that, Adam," Drew whispered helplessly.
"But I do," Adam vowed. "I can handle this."
"No you can't!" Drew erupted. "You can't you're just..."
"Say it," Adam demanded darkly, fists clenched tightly.
Drew looked around helplessly. "Adam..."
"Say it, Andrew."
"I know you're a guy between the ears, okay?" Drew said, looking frantic. "I know that. You know that I know that and you know I back you 100% an-"
"Say it."
"Physically, you're still a girl, okay?" Drew said, tugging his hair. "They can really hurt you, Adam."
Adam shook his head slowly.
"You don't understand," Drew grabbed his shoulders. "You didn't see yourself there, in the hospital after..."
"I didn't need to! I fucking lived it Andrew!" Adam responded viciously. "I didn't have to see what they did to me, I fucking felt it."
Drew flinched. "I know... I know, I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?"
"I couldn't protect you. I should have protected you," Drew said. Adam was shocked to hear tears in his voice. "God, I'm the big brother, that's what I'm supposed to do."
"So you're going to make up for it by suffocating me now?" Adam fixed him with a hard look. "I get that you feel bad. You really shouldn't, though. There was nothing you could have done. It happened. It was months ago. I'm over it."
"Well, I'm not," Drew protested.
"Then I'm sorry," Adam shot back, "but that's not really my problem, Drew."
Drew looked down at him, hurt. "Adam..."
"Look," Adam tugged his beanie lower over his head, "I said I can handle it. You've got to trust that I can handle it, okay?"
"I just-"
"Drew – do you trust me?"
Drew took a deep breath. "... Yes."
"Good," Adam nodded. "Then this conversation is over, okay?"
"Okay," Drew sighed. "Fine."
He paused casting Adam another lingering look before trotting off back toward the cafeteria; head down, shoulders tense.
Adam watched him go and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X
"That was amazing!" Clare gushed; cheeks pink, chest heaving.
"See? You got this, I told you," Adam grinned wrapping his arms around her and squeezing. Her face went into the crook of his neck, soft breath tickling him. He released her after a moment, beaming proudly. "I told you."
"I know!" Clare squealed. "Can I do it again?"
Adam laughed reaching down and picking up the skateboard.
"I don't see anyone stopping you," he handed her the board, steadying her as she climbed back on.
Adam settled back against the bench as he watched her skate cautiously around the pavement. It was pretty cold out but he was still sort of surprised that no one seemed to be out at the park – school had only ended about half an hour ago. But Adam was getting tired of always questioning good fortune, so he let the thoughts drift out of his head and relaxed watching as Clare's confidence grew with every minute she spent on the board.
"Hey," he called, causing her to glance back at him distractedly. "Maybe I should be filming this!"
"Are you kidding?" she wobbled slightly, not quite coordinated enough to carry on a conversation and skate at the same time yet. "I don't think Juliet ever hopped on a skateboard."
"I thought we were doing our own version of it?" he challenged. "Besides, this is gonna end up as some b-roll in your documentary."
"My documentary?" she asked, amusement painting her pretty features.
"Yeah," Adam said, picking up the camera and turning it on. "The one they make about your life after you revolutionize the world of competitive girl skating."
Clare rolled her eyes but her smile was radiant. She skated toward him and hopped off shakily.
"Charmer," she accused, sticking her tongue out at the camera.
"Me?" he laughed. "Never."
"Whatever, Adam Torres," she wagged her finger at him playfully. "I'm on to you."
"Is that so?" Adam challenged, following her determinedly with the camera even as she dodged and hid her face playfully. "What, exactly, do you think you're onto, Ms. Edwards?"
"You're a flirt," she accused, smiling widely.
"Am not," he denied.
She raised her eyebrow at him and smirked.
"Okay," he conceded, dropping the camera from his shoulder. He took a step closer to her, breathing in to steady himself and lifting one hand to brush her fingertips. "Maybe sometimes."
He saw her draw a shallow breath as her eyes rose to his.
"So you admit it, then?" she asked, voice soft.
"Well, yeah," he whispered. "But only for really special girls."
She laughed, turning away from him and trying to hide her blush with her hands.
"God," she giggled. "You're doing it again!"
Adam set the camera on the table and trotted after her, pulling her into a backwards hug.
"Oh, c'mon," he teased. "You know you love it."
She turned in his arms and smiled warmly. "You're sweet, Adam."
He swallowed hard, staring at her lips. "Sweet, eh?"
"Yeah," she whispered, blinking slowly at him. "Sweet."
He took a shaky breath and squeezed her a bit harder. He moved his face closer to hers by a fraction.
She didn't move away.
His eyes drifted back to her lips; full and pink and so... close...
"This seems to be a pattern," Eli's sudden voice cause Clare to jump away from him like she'd been burned.
Adam saw her cast a guilty look behind him, but couldn't bring himself to turn and face Eli.
"I mean – I tell you guys to meet me someplace and when I show you you're acting awfully... cozy," he continued dryly. "Something you two want to tell me?"
"No!" Clare rushed, stepping past Adam. "It's not even... I mean, really..."
Adam sighed and forced his body to relax. He turned slowly. "Hey, Eli."
Eli fixed him with a dark look. "'Sup?"
Adam shrugged.
"Clare," Eli breathed looking at her tensely.
"Hi," she stepped forward tentatively, taking his hands in hers. "How are you?"
Eli shrugged. "Could be better."
Adam pushed his hurt feelings out of the way and re-evaluated Eli. His nose was looking a little better than last night; a bit red, a bit swollen, but nothing horrible. He was paler than normal, though; the dark bags under his eyes only exaggerating the fact.
There was a sickeningly familiar twist in the corner of his mouth. Not his usual smirk. It was the distinct constant wince of someone in pain and desperate not to show it.
Adam swallowed and stared hard at Eli, but the older boy was still fixated on Clare.
"Eli," Adam called.
Eli glanced up wordlessly.
Are you okay?
What happened?
Are you okay?
The words stuck in his throat.
He coughed and fidgeted restlessly. "Uh, did you and Clare work out how we were going to do this?"
There was a moment of tense silence. Adam fought not to squirm under the weight of Eli's intense gaze.
"It's basically the part in Act 5, Scene 4 where Romeo discovers Juliet's body," Clare's soft voice did nothing to clear the tension. "You know the one, right?"
Adam nodded, diverting his attention to her. "Yeah."
"Well, in our version the poison takes a few minutes to kick in."
"Oh."
"So, Juliet wakes up before Romeo dies."
"Okay, so..."
"They could share a final kiss," Eli interrupts.
Clare looks over at him, naked hopefulness blatant on her face.
"O-obviously, I'll be Juliet," she says, a little breathlessly. "Who's going to be my Romeo?"
"I will," Eli says almost before she finishes speaking. He holds Adam's gaze for a long moment.
Adam tore his eyes away, forcing his gaze to the ground.
"I mean, since I know the material so well," Eli explained after a moment.
"Yeah," Adam bit out, only mildly surprised by the coldness of his own voice. "What are you not the expert on?"
He lifted the camera back to his shoulder.
"Whenever you guys are ready."
They ran through the scene a couple times – stopping only twice when Clare and Eli couldn't contain their laughter.
Adam felt his stomach turning throughout but kept the camera steady and his faxe an impassive mask.
"Romeo! You drank the poisonous high-fructose cola beverage! No!"
Someone's over-acting, Adam thought bitterly, rolling his eyes.
Then it happened.
They leaned in close. Eli pushed a lock of curly hair behind her ear, his hand slipped up her arm. She raised her hands and brushed her fingertips against his chin.
Their lips touched once, twice; tentatively.
God, it was so... gentle.
Adam shut his eyes, struggling not to vomit or shudder or scream or throw the camera down and stomp off.
Eli's hands cupped her face more fully. Her arms slipped around his back, drawing him nearer.
He wanted to look away.
Desperately.
But he couldn't seem to find the strength for it.
After several long moments Eli pulled away and slumped backwards onto the table.
Clare stood for a moment, stunned. Adam saw Eli's foot move to subtly tap her leg.
"Um, star-crossed not for long! I will see you in the afterlife, Romeo," Clare recited. She finished the scene – cheesily offing herself with Eli's pocket-knife.
"Cut."
"Should we do another take?" Clare asked shyly.
"I don't know," Eli smirked, turning to Adam. "What did you think of that one, Adam? Think we got it?"
Adam shrugged dropping his eyes to the floor.
"Maybe one more try, then," Eli's voice was sugary-sweet and all kinds of cruel.
Adam hated the heat gathering behind his eyes. He shook his head desperately.
God, if I fucking cry here...
"Actually," he said numbly, "I think that's all we can do today, guys."
"Why?" Clare at least had the decency to look embarrassed by her eagerness.
"Battery's dying," Adam lied.
"That's too bad," Eli cooed, rising from the table.
"Yeah," Adam said. "Listen, I just remembered – I have to go-"
"That so?" Eli smirked triumphantly.
"Yes," Adam hissed, hating the pressure mounting in his chest. "I need to see my mom off – she's leaving on a business trip tonight."
It was only half a lie – she was leaving tomorrow morning.
"You can't manage a few more minutes?" Eli questioned, putting a heavy hand on Adam's shoulder. "Clare and I would love to have you for a bit longer."
Clare and I.
Ugh.
"No, man, I really have to go," Adam lifted Eli's hand from his shoulder and grabbed his backpack off the ground.
"Are you taking the camera with you?" Clare questioned.
"Is that cool?" Adam asked, not bothering to look up. "I thought I'd edit it tonight so we wouldn't have to worry about it anymore."
"Yeah," Eli said. "That's fine."
Adam stepped onto the skateboard.
"As long as you're sure we got it, Adam," Eli continued, stepping in front of him and looking him directly in the eye. He wrapped his arm around Clare's shoulders. "We got it, Adam?"
Why don't you just go the extra mile and piss on her, while you're at it, Eli.
Adam looked away, disgusted.
"Got it, Eli."
"Good."
"I'll see you guys later."
He took off in the direction of home doing his best to ignore the burning in his eyes.
X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X
He was about three blocks from home when he heard the car pull up.
Immediately, the hair on the back of his neck stood up.
His throat felt dry.
He fought the impulse to look back at the car. He could tell from the sound of the engine that it had slowed and was crusing just behind him.
Oh God.
Oh fuck.
He winced, taking a deep breath through his nose.
Okay. Chill out.
Think Adam.
His free hand fell to his pocket and he pulled out his cell phone. He found Drew's number and hit it immediately.
After four rings he started to get worried that no one would pick up.
Then-
"Hey, sorry, I left my phone in my room..."
Adam let out a relieved sigh.
"What's up?" Drew asked.
"Um," Adam swallowed, listening closely to the car that was still just out of range of vision. "Not much. You?"
"Your voice is weird," Drew said. "What's going on? Where are you?"
Adam glanced up at the nearest street sign.
"Uh, 11th and Division," he said squinting to make out the letters that were so far off. His eyes swept across the street before landing on a deli on the corner. "Uh, Drew?"
"Yeah?"
"My... legs are getting tired," Adam lied poorly. "Think you could come get me?"
There was a short pause. Adam could practically see Drew's patent concerned face; brows drawn together, mouth tugged down in a frown.
"Sure thing."
"I'll be in Rico's Deli," Adam said, quickening his step as he neared the deli.
"Be there in five," Drew promised.
"Okay," Adam relaxed a little as he stood in front of the door. He allowed himself a brief glance behind him and caught a glimpse of a black sedan. "See you soon."
"Call me if you need anything," Adam could hear the sound of Drew grabbing the keys in the background.
"Will do."
"Bye."
He hung up and stepped inside the deli.
Adam drank half of a coconut smoothie before his phone vibrated in his pocket.
Drew; 5:42 pm
Outside.
He rose hastily and rushed to meet Drew outside.
The moment he stepped out he felt eyes on him. He turned slowly and saw a beat-up black sedan parked across the street.
Mark Fitzgerald sat casually in the driver's seat.
His face was swollen – large purple bruise along his right cheekbone.
The moment their eyes met his face melted from quiet determination into a grim smile. He waved slowly.
Adam let out a shaky breath and tried to force his body to remain calm.
A loud honk shook him out of his dread-induced stupor.
"Adam! Hurry the hell up, I'm not supposed to be parked here," Drew called.
Adam shook his head and ran to the car, getting in and tossing the camera in the backseat with less care than was probably preferred by the schoolboard.
"What the fuck's going on?" Drew demanded. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
Adam exhaled shakily and let his head roll to the window.
Oh my God.
"Adam?" Drew pressed.
"I..."
"What happened?" Drew asked, voice rising with panic. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Adam managed raggedly.
"What happened?" Drew asked again. "Seriously, bro, you're freaking me out."
"Nothing happened, Andrew."
"Bullshit," Drew bit out. "Tell me."
Adam swallowed well aware that he couldn't expect Drew to back off twice in one day.
"Um... Clare," he said, the words springing to his mind suddenly, effortlessly. "The girl I like?"
"Yeah," Drew nodded slowly.
"She, uh, kissed another guy today," Adam finished, quietly, dropping his eyes to his hands twisting in his lap.
"Oh," Drew's voice was uncharacteristically quiet.
Motley Crue on the radio filled in the silence.
"I'm sorry," Drew offered awkwardly after a moment.
"Yeah," Adam said, running a hand over his face.
His heart was beating a mile a minute.
The look on Fitz's face...
He shuddered.
"Um, you know what they say," Drew continued after a beat. "Plenty of fish in the sea..."
"I know, Drew," Adam responded quietly. He didn't want sympathy he just wanted a quiet dark place to freak out on his own about, well... everything.
They pulled up in front of the house.
"Is mom home?" Adam asked.
Drew shook his head. "She's staying 'til 6 to work out some of the details for tomorrow..."
Adam nodded, feeling a bit of his anxiousness leave him.
They walked slowly up the driveway together.
"Do you," Drew's voice was almost... meek. "Do you need a hug? Or something?"
Adam barked out a laugh.
His chest ached dully. He could feel a stress migraine coming on. His throat was tight with lingering panic and the sick feeling of seeing Clare's mouth filled with Eli's tongue.
"Yeah," he said, voice rough. "I think I do."
Drew wrapped his arms tightly around Adam's shoulders and pulled him closer.
Adam let his head drop forward against Drew's shoulder and leaned his weight more fully against his brother's body.
Terror always made his legs weak.
AN: THE PLOT THICKENS. Or something. Did you vote in my poll? Go vote in my poll. Also review - even if it's just to shame me for my sloppy updating.
-Orange