Julian slammed his door shut. He just ruined his reputation and sang in front of Logan. Really, "Whenever I see you, I swallow my pride, and bite my tongue…"? He might as well have confessed his unrequited love for freaking John Logan Wright III in front of the Warblers! Especially in front of the hobbit, Blaine and Logan's new object of affection, Hummel. He seriously didn't get it how Logan found the brown haired boy's eyes so interesting though he stayed for Logan lovesick speech on Hummel's eyes and hair and face and how Blaine didn't deserve him. He really shouldn't have stayed for it.
The one-sided dialogue merely tore his heart apart and left him holding back his tears. But he was an actor. An Oscar nominated one for that too. There was no way that Logan was ever going to see the princess of Stuart shed tears over him. But he was tired, tired of acting. Even away from the flashing lights and red carpets, he had to act. He acted at home, wherever home was. Julian chuckled darkly at that. His real home was Dalton, and thanks to that giant squid of ignorance, his sanctuary was pretty much invaded. He had to act, act well he did. Everyone saw the cocky diva of an actor. Everyone saw the Julian they wanted to see. What Julian didn't see – well hear- was the faint beep which signals the door to open. During his little mental rant, Logan was trying different swipe cards to assess the actor's private room. Julian didn't have a roommate due to him disappearing and appearing again. A familiar, arrogant voice surprised him.
"Nice singing, Princess." Julian couldn't tell if the soloist was mocking him. Better to answer with a snide answer.
"Now really Logan," Julian smirked, putting on his indifferent mask as he turned to face Logan. "Entering rooms without knocking? One would expect better for a prefect."
Logan merely shrugged. "You know me Jules," The prefect in question answered causally. "Since when did I care for rules? Anyway I've got everyone's swipe cards since I'm prefect 'cause nobody in Stuart can be bothered."
Julian looked at him. Really looked at him. There was a hazy sheen covering the usually sharp and piercing eyes. "Did Mom make you have your pills today?" He asked sympathetically.
"He wouldn't give me my coffee till I did."
"You could have made your own."
"Ah, you see, I couldn't be bothered."
"And you call me a princess?" said Julian with raised eyebrows. "What do you want Logan?"
Logan looked at Julian with a mock hurt expression. "We were having a perfectly normal conversation, what makes you think I wanted something from you?"
"I know you too well Lo."
"I just wanted to talk to you, like the friends we are."
The actor snorted "Some friends we are, biting each other's necks while Derek tries to prevent a murder."
Logan sat there thoughtfully. Julian just kept going on, not realizing he was ranting to Logan.
"You just see yourself and what you want; not even noticing anyone around .Your medication makes you stop feeling. Do you know how much I hate that? Seeing you be subdued like a mental patient or something. Derek encourages you to take them because he doesn't know what else he can do to help. That boy really should be in Hanover, he's definitely Switzerland…" He trailed off.
"No, he's too competitive," Logan cut in, "The captain of two Varsity in Hanover, really?"
Julian flushed pink realizing that he was spilling all his thoughts to Logan.
"Do you really think I don't see people Jules?" Logan was asking thoughtfully.
Finally? "Yes. What's with you today? You're all thoughtful and insightful today. Does medication really help that much?"
"What don't I see?" Logan was pointedly ignoring the little snubs that would usually get him ready to punch a wall.
That I'm in love with you. That I would kill for you if you asked. Julian thought bitterly. That I'm leaving. Julian surprised himself with that last thought. He actually never seriously thought about leaving Dalton for good. It was too much to give up, seeing Logan's face everyday. Yeah right, more like seeing Logan's eyes fixated on pretty boys and ripping his hearts so shreds with every comment he made on how beautiful they were. Do I really enjoy making myself suffer? Yes. He was addicted and he wanted to be. But it was sick and unhealthy. Yes, he was giving Logan up, now, today.
"Nothing important enough for the King to know." His heart cracked in two, saying that simple sentence.
"Jesus Jules! Tell me what's wrong." Logan was begging now. Julian was the only one who has ever seen Logan beg. Julian smirked lightly.
"Nothing. I'm leaving Dalton."