A/N: Continuing the Tony and/or Ziva POV vignettes based on what Gibbs saw/heard/etc in my story Perception.
Apologies for the delay on this one. Real life is crazy busy, and there's also a bunch of imagery and metaphor in this that may not have been appropriate to post a month or two ago.
With a nod to the episodes Cloak and Dagger, although this story/chapter is not related to those. And a warning for bad language and angst.
Disclaimer: Disclaimed.

Part 2: Hear

He hates hearing them yell like this.

They argue just about every day they're together. It's what they do. It's how they communicate. It's how they solve problems and make decisions. He figures that so long as there's always a purpose to the argument and a resolution at the end, arguing is no cause for alarm.

But this…

He's so mad now he can barely see straight. He's lost control of himself and he's not proud, but he can't keep his anger inside. Her words about training and her dedication to responsibilities have his blood pressure so high he's actually dizzy, and he can't make himself calm down. He can't make himself stop yelling. Because this woman who has become an indispensable part of his life acted today like she didn't much care if she left it.

The argument they're having—it's actually closer to a brawl—is conducted in the bowels of the NCIS building where there are no witnesses to the carnage taking place. They're screaming at each other over whether she should have fought the men who held guns to Tony's head in an op that morning. He is adamant that she should not have, but his IDF and Mossad-trained partner slash girlfriend just as adamantly opposes his position. When the guns came out in the warehouse so did the ninja, and she sliced through the pack of goons like a whirling dervish, leaving blood, broken bones and a shaking Tony in her wake.

Her whirling continues now as they fight, except now she's more like a storm that's feeding and growing on their shared fury. She spins on him in the cramped hallway and he swears he feels the whip of wind against his face as the growing tornado in front of him sucks away his oxygen. She rages about partnership and having his back no matter what the cost, and he feels her. He honestly does, because he knows wild dogs couldn't pull him away from protecting her six. But wild dogs weren't the issue today. Diplomacy was, but she panicked and fucked up and now she's too proud to admit she was wrong.

She raises her chin defiantly and he knows the look that enters her eyes. He sees it when she speaks of loyalty and dedication that she believes is just. She insists again that she was right to protect him. "I would have gotten you out," she repeats one more time, and this time he hears the stress in the words. She wasn't planning on joining him. She was creating a diversion for his escape. And she was completely aware that she would have been killed for it.

In that moment, he hates her as much as he loves her. His hands itch to close around her neck, but he doesn't know whether they'd squeeze hard or pull her to his mouth. He physically steps away from both options and plows his hands through his wind-whipped hair.

"At what cost?" he demands, and he's never heard his voice this hard. "I get out and you don't? That's not an option, Ziva. That's never an option. It's you and me. Not one or the other. You and me. We're both in or we're both out. Always." He advances on her again and grabs her elbow in the most violent action he will ever take against her. "Do you understand me?"

"That is not practical for every situation," she slings back, her words slicing him to the bone. "Given the choice between you and I, the others would not trade—"

Her martyr's argument sends the pressure in the hallway spiking so high he can no longer stand it. His fist goes through the wall before he realizes his body is moving as he tries to release some of the damaging energy between them, but it only serves to feed it. He knows he should just say "Thank you and I love you, but I feel you're being quite selfish." But he's not thankful that her actions could have gotten her killed, and they don't say "I love you" yet, and he lost his tact long ago. His carefully measured intent instead comes out as "fucking selfish bitch".

He's not proud of his words or his blatant bullying, and her open shock makes him feel sick even as he thinks he's landed the final blow. He half expects her to fold now and the storm to weaken, but that just goes to show how much he has left to learn about her. The funnel of wind around her suddenly expands another three feet before she explodes with a fury he's never seen.

She shoves him in the chest so hard that he bounces off the wall behind him, and in that moment of violence he hears Gibbs' voice in his head reciting Rule 12. It's never been clearer to him why the rule exists, and he begins to think that maybe…maybe this should be the end of them.

He starts laying the foundation to make her hate him. Hate makes it easier to walk away, and he doubts he'll be strong enough to be the one to desert her. His throat is tight as he pushes out derision for her "awesome plan", and then he advances on her while she blinks and wanes. He baits her with the most condescending tone he can find within him and talks down to her about youth breeding impulsiveness. The look on her face bruises his heart and self-respect, but he pushes on until she looks like she's about to break. There is not a smidgen of joy in this for him, and in the end he can't make himself push her over the edge. After all, it is his sworn duty to protect her from such falls.

Ziva senses his moment of weakness and exploits it as he did hers. The eye of the storm has passed and now she's back with her second wind to beat him down and finish him off. She continues to rage back at him, all red cheeks and wet eyes and wild hair, and Jesus, maybe he doesn't need to make her hate him in order to break them apart. Because he's hating her enough for both of them right now, and he's starting to think that yes, if it comes down to it, he will be able to walk away from her if it means this horrific destruction between them ends.

He hates hearing them yell like this.

And maybe the only way to avoid it again is to abandon this relationship for good.

If you've read Perception, you know not to panic now, right?
And if you haven't read Perception and you're panicking, then go read it and calm down.