CHAPTER TEN – As You Like It.
Sorry for the delay! AN at the bottom, enjoy!
oOo
BPOV
I got home sometime past 7 in the morning, clad in yesterday's clothes. I didn't see Charlie on my way in; I assumed that he was done with last night's shift. I realized then that I probably worried him for not coming home last night. The elevator arrives to come get me and I step inside.
I didn't manage to get a sufficient amount of sleep last night. My mind shut down soon after Ben fell asleep, worn down with exhaustion, tired of my thoughts. I guess I didn't want to think anymore. I went through dawn with my mind muted, my thoughts empty.
I leaned against the wall and my gaze fell upon a bright yellow sticky note, stuck on the elevator wall.
My fingers pinched together and I took the note off the wall. The note had a scribble, written down was a short note.
Come over the pub tonight. It's open mic night, I want you there.
-E
I must've read the little note 10 times over. The elevator doors opened and in no time at all, I was greeted by my warm, small apartment. I shrugged out of my coat and laid down on the couch, desperate for some sleep.
I looked back at my hand, the yellow sheet of paper still trapped between my fingers. I inhaled deeply, dropping my head back and sinking into the cushion.
I'd go.
oOo
I spent the day baking.
The kitchen was my favorite room in my small apartment. I had large countertops and overhead cabinets filled to the brim with pots and pans and cookbooks. I cooked often but baking was a hobby I indulged in frequently.
I was baking a recipe I was well acquainted with, sugar cookies. My mind flew back to memories of Christmas with my parents. My mom was never big on cooking or baking, so I grew up on take out and instant meals until I was old enough to cook for myself. I cooked dinners nearly every night of my high school life. My mom never acknowledged it at all and my dad never noticed either.
But Charlie noticed.
And for once, I felt accomplished.
Charlie loved my sugar cookies. I'd purchased mint chocolates early in the week to top the cookies. I liked baking for Charlie. For one, I knew that he enjoyed them, so my efforts wouldn't go to waste.
I preheated the oven while I stirred together the dry mix. I took a larger bowl and whisked the egg, vanilla and sugar smoothly, gradually adding in the dry ingredients. When the mix was solid and smooth, I placed teaspoonfuls of the dough onto the cookie sheets.
Unfortunately, these cookies baked quickly and I was again left with nothing but my uninhibited thoughts. I went through the month's worth of groceries that I'd picked up the day before. I found that I had enough to bake some more.
My cookbooks went into good use and I baked a newer recipe I'd been waiting to try out. I ordered these at a restaurant I went to with Ben a few weeks ago and I scoured for a recipe in my collection of books soon after leaving.
I melted butter quickly, adding in sugar afterwards, stirring until the mixture turned into a dark amber color. I poured the caramel down into a cake pan, being careful about the heat. I cut the apples and sliced them down next, placing the slices onto the caramel and popping them in the oven. I worked on the pastry dough next, putting the plastic-wrapped dough into the fridge.
When the apples were done, I carefully removed the baking sheet from the oven and moved it onto another baking tin. I took the tart dough from my fridge next, placing them on top of my cooked apples/ I popped them back into the oven and set a cooking timer.
Satisfied, I cleaned up my kitchen. I worked on the dishes and reshelved my cookbook. I paper bagged Charlie's cookies and left them on my countertop to cool.
I took a quick shower and the clock on my bathroom told me that I was on time. I dressed simply, choosing a white sweater over a sequined top and comfortable boots over heels. I clicked off my oven on my way out but I left the tart inside so that it wouldn't cool. My hands were loaded with my coat and my bag, but I left smiling, nonetheless.
oOo
I didn't know what he had planned. I hoped that he was just going to perform and hadn't planned on a serious talk with me. I just wanted to lay low and relax tonight. Music was blasting from the pub. As soon as I stepped in the doors, a waft of beer and cigarette smoke invaded my nose and I found myself smiling at the familiarity.
I looked to the stage and Edward was already there. I could only grin and shake my head, relief washing over me in waves. I strode out quickly, my weakness, my doubts and my fear forgotten. My shoulders relaxed and I leaned into the back wall of the pub, arms crossed over my middle.
My eyes moved back again and landed on Edward. He was sitting on a bar stool, his black guitar perched on her knee. He looked up from the stage nervously, eyes darting across the crowd. His eyes searched frantically and finally his gaze landed on mine and I smiled at him.
He was looking for me.
A small, rushing tingle ran across my spine. A feeling so precious, so special…
All he did was look at me and my body was rushed into with shudders of electricity, a feeling I so desperately searched and yearned for.
I allowed myself to look back at him. He quickly turned away though, focusing on his song.
His long fingers picked and strummed at the strings, lips pressed against the microphone. He strummed a few random chords and spoke into the microphone, his smooth voice reverberating across the room.
"Hey, everyone." His eyes surveyed the crowd. They crowd quieted down. His gaze froze when he landed on mine and his eyes locked into my own. "Miss Bennett, thank you for coming."
His eyes only met mine for a fraction of a second.
But it was enough.
I could see the faint lines of a smile as he sang, his feet kicking freely at the beat of the music. The crowd was great; they were just as enchanted as I was at his performance, completely charmed.
"Some things we don't talk about
better do without
just hold a smile
we're falling in and out of love
the same damn problem."
Our eyes met again from across the room. A smile grazed my lips instantly and he smiled too.
My skin tingled with electricity.
The air was suddenly heavy, but breathing became easy.
My vision became clouded and he quickly became the only thing I could see.
The only thing that mattered.
This time, he didn't quickly look away.
My heart fluttered thumped in my ribcage.
I found the feeling that I'd been looking for so desperately all of last night.
It was here.
Edward looked down to his guitar as he strummed out chords and when his gaze left mine, I let myself exhale the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
This was undeniable now. I didn't want to escape this anymore. I didn't want to keep running.
I tightened my grip around myself, feeling completely relaxed, at ease and alive, all at once.
"You can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,
don't let me go."
The last chord was strummed and the crowd clapped and cheered as the song wrapped. I breathed in the smoky, dusty air quickly as I pushed myself off the grimy wall. I stood there though, rooted in my position as Edward made his way over to where I was standing.
I pushed all thoughts to the back of my mind.
Smiling, I greeted him hello.
It was genuine, too.
oOo
EPOV
I could feel the weight of her gaze on me as I sang on stage. It didn't feel uncomfortable. Instead, it felt steady and reassuring. It was full of heavy heat. It felt promising.
I tried not to glance at her; I didn't want to screw up the song.
This song was new, just a day old. I wrote it after I left the bookstore a week ago. I'd purchased a book I read in high school. I was reminded of it just the other day and I had no idea where my old copy was. But I had work the next few days and I forgot about the book until last night.
I read the Shakespeare play all night. Pencil in hand, I marked off, underlined and took notes on the margins of the pages. The book was only hours old but it looked like it suffered a great lifetime of love. I had multiple pages corner folded, a strewn of quotes I liked were underlined in pencil and I had my handwriting on the margin.
Only when I was heading off to bed had I realized something.
Maybe it was nothing, perhaps it was monumental.
But I knew that last night… It felt huge. I ran back into my living room and picked the book back up. I quickly went through the pages and quotes I'd marked.
They all reminded me of Bella.
I picked up my guitar soon afterward, unable to even attempt getting any sleep, writing.
So I couldn't resist leaving that note in the elevator. Singing this song… It was important.
It was hers.
She didn't know that and I didn't want her to. I was afraid that all of this would scare her off completely. It threw my mind off kilter and I wasn't going to do this to her too.
But our eyes locked, inevitably.
We were separated by an entire pub's crowd. She was in the far end of the room and I could feel her. I wondered momentarily if she could feel it too.
Alice used to talk about this.
Sparks.
No, it couldn't be. These weren't sparks. They were…
I ransacked my brain for an appropriate word.
I gave up.
They were sparks.
oOo
Seattle nights were cold.
This was a winter, Seattle night.
The season's slowly pulling up to a close and I was glad. I couldn't possibly stand more snow.
Bella and I walked at a comfortable pace, bundled up in our coats. We'd created a set distance between us as we walked, it was comfortable. But it didn't feel like it was enough.
"The photographers won't find us, will they?"
Bella smiled, obviously amused. "Not tonight."
I nodded.
We walked in the cold some more, and then I did something insane.
"Hey, Bella." She looked up. "Come here."
She looked at me, questioning. "What are you talking about?"
"Come here." I insisted.
She walked closer to me. When she was near enough, I wrapped my free hand around her small shoulders, feeling warmer instantly.
She froze up for a moment, muscles tense. I instantly regretted doing what I did but I wasn't going to give up. I ran my hand swiftly up and down her arm, creating heat with the friction.
Her muscles relaxed quickly after that and I felt her lean into my touch.
"Better?"
She dropped her face to lean into my chest a little.
"Much."
My male parts reacted… positively.
I cleared my throat uncomfortably but feigned it as nothing.
We walked in silence for a while longer, but at least we were warmer now.
I looked over to her, her mouth open, like she was going to start speaking. But I doubted that she was going to.
I cut her off quickly.
"If you're going to tell me how I was tonight, don't say it."
Her eyebrows were raised in question.
"Who said that was I was going to say?"
She had me there. I shrugged, at lost for a proper response.
"Well… What did you have to say?"
She paused for a moment and then shook her head. "Nothing."
I stopped walking.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded, walking again, "yeah, I'm sure."
But I wasn't. I'd seen this before. Her eyes would glisten, tears so close to the brim. Her quivering lips would purse and she'd struggle to find the words and I just knew that there was something she wanted to tell me. That she wanted to get something off her chest so badly. But she never did. And I knew why, and therefore, I didn't push her. She'd tell me in her own time, I was sure of it.
I had to be sure of it.
I knew what it was like to have a secret weigh heavy on my back. I still knew it. It wasn't fair for me to feel like she should've been ready to tell me when I wasn't ready myself.
The thin Shakespeare book felt heavy in the pocket of my coat. I planned on giving it to her tonight, to have her read it.
We walked peacefully inside the building. Bella paused in her tracks, her eyes were confused and I could practically hear the wheels in her mind clicking into place.
"What's wrong?"
I hoped that in that moment, she'd tell me what she'd being waiting to all along. That she'd let me in. I was curious and she had answers.
I was being selfish and I knew it.
But I couldn't help it at all.
Instead, her hand gestured to Charlie's table. "Charlie… I haven't seen him all day."
I stuck my tongue in my cheek, pondering the best way to answer her. I hadn't seen him all day either and his shift had started.
"I'm… I'm sure he's just having a night off, Bella. He's fine."
Her lips closed together and she nodded quietly, but I could tell that her mind was still occupied. I didn't blame her, mine was too.
The elevator opened up almost instantly and I clicked in both our floor numbers.
The atmosphere was tense. I was certain that Bella was still thinking about Charlie. We rode up the elevator in silence. Soon, the elevator stopped and she was stepping off into her floor.
"Goodnight, Edward."
I could feel the book digging into my chest.
"Goodnight, Bella."
It felt even heavier now than it did before.
Now or never.
"Bella, wait." My hand slipped in between the closing doors and they drew back instantaneously.
"Yeah?" Her cheeks were flushed, eyes open. She looked beautiful.
I pulled the book out of my coat. "Here. I have my card in it, call me whenever, Bella. I mean it. And the book, well… Read it."
She left her keys in the slot on the door. She took the book away from my grasp, reading the cover quickly. She looked back at me, smiling.
"Shakespeare?" She was looking up at me through her eyelashes, looking completely irresistible. I kept my hands in the pocket of my coat, playing with a piece of lint on the inside, trying to resist pinning her on the elevator walls.
"Feminist."
She was in beat with me, "chauvinist."
She was always in beat with me.
"Read it."
"I will."
I cleared my throat, removing my hand away from the doors.
"Okay."
"Okay." She took a step back towards her apartment, book in hand, her entire body was smiling and she looked relaxed.
I stepped back into the elevator; Bella's smiling face was the only thing I could think of. All night.
oOo
BPOV
I dumped my coat down on the kitchen table, next to Charlie's bag of cookies.
I shed layers of my clothing on the way to my bedroom, worn down with exhaustion. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I went into a deep, dreamless sleep.
But on the kitchen table, unknowingly, inside the pocket of that coat, my phone sat. Vibrating, the screen flashing in the darkness. Across the display, the words were clear and bright.
Ben H.
AN: WE HIT 100 REVIEWS. THANK YOU! (Long AN, hold on…)
A reviewer: Shahula, expressed her confusion at the direction/current situation this fic is in. I realized that maybe I might have confused you all. I'm going to clarify a few things.
1. Edward is infatuated with Bella. He wants something he cannot have and for the moment, all he can give her is his friendship, and he settles at that. He has some personal demons of his own and he is also scared that what he's experienced in the past will scare her away.
2. He's not being honest with her, and she's not being honest with him. At this point, their friendship is built solely on lies and secrecy, but all will be revealed in a few chapters.
3. Ben is using her and she hasn't come to the realization that it isn't okay, but she's getting there. What she has acknowledged is the fact that Edward made her feel so much more than Ben ever could… We're getting close, folks.
4. The biggest problem about these two: they don't think that they're good enough for each other… This will be solved soon enough, I promise.
I cannot apologize enough for the delay. I'm deeply, truly sorry. I have been writing, and I'm not lying about that. This chapter you just read is chapter 10, version number 4. I'm not lying. The first one was frustrating and I despised it. The second one… I didn't even finish writing that one. The third version ended up with Bella crying… No fun, right? And before you ask, I do know what will happen in each and every chapter BUT, when I write, things tend to go in a direction where my mood is heading. This chapter was tough to crank out.
But guess what? In between of writing version 3 and 4, I wrote parts of chapter 11. Chapter 11 = the storm you've been waiting for, I'm excited! And I'm planning to stick to that version. Forever.
I have to admit that I'm not head over heels about this chapter, but I figured that this was better than nothing. Thank you so much for sticking around, I love you guys. You lurkers too
RosAlice22 – I don't know why this fine lady sticks around and reads this story… I only have love for you, darling. Thank you!
Leave me a review, if you will.
Chapter 11: Give me a week? Let's hope!