Chapter Title: Unexpected Pupil

Summary: If the desert wasn't enough, I'm now tossed into a crowd of prepubescent girls, a lingerie store, an electronics store, and every other store you could think of. All the while teaching a buffoon what a "mall" is. How did I ever get myself into this mess? Will I ever find out? Hmm… the bunnies said no. Figures.

Dedication: To Vix for giving me the inspiration to write this after nearly a year, to Cloud for always hanging in there even if it seems impossible, and to Dart for always standing by someone's side even if they refuse to let you do it. You guys are freaking awesome and I love you!

A/N:Yeah… I know… long time. Very long time. Nearly a year long time. It's not my fault… I swear… okay so maybe it is my fault but damn it all, guys! I have a no-life to live! You can't interrupt me when I'm reading a thousand books, playing hundreds of video games, and watching anime till I'm dead tired! Oh, and there's that insignificant studying I must do… you know… to get a better education and, hopefully, a better job. But eh! Who cares! Let's just get on with the fic! In this lovely chapter, we see Cloud slowly becoming used to out favorite guy in red. However, there's more to what Cloud is feeling than just annoyance or acceptance. Hmm… I wonder what it could be. In any case, I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to read Secret Stardust or Vix's First Impressions chapter! It's going to be a riot! :)

Chapter III: Unexpected Pupil

This "crowded" place I told you about… it was a mall. The worst place you could ever hope to be in… with someone like him. I thought it was going to be a lot simpler after traveling together for a, granted, short while but… no. Just a lot more headaches I can do without.

Of course, as soon as we arrived, he had to draw attention to himself. That man has a pair of lungs on him that can rival Barret's whenever he goes on a tangent. In any case, he seemed oblivious to the fact he was standing in a pile of women's garments. I tried to coerce him into leaving before making too big of a scene but… that didn't turn out the way I had planned either. He kept going on about not knowing what those fabrics were until I had to shove it into his face. Quite literally. He got it then. Thank the Summons… being in that place brought back… some… none-too-pleasing memories.

Not… entirely true…

It was difficult enough trying to explain what… "they" were. In fact, there was a lot he didn't know about. A wishing fountain was one. A television was another. A license… which nearly caused us our lives but that's something I'll leave for later. It makes me wonder… what exactly is his home world like? These are basic objects of living society and for him to be utterly clueless makes one wonder if he's from some sort of medieval world… then he ran into an entire army screaming like a buffoon which, in turn, helped my suspicions subside.

The army? It has to do with the license. I'll get to it in a moment.

After insinuating about some vulgar activity he partook in with someone from his home world and brushing it off as I do with everything else that spews out of his mouth, he asked me what a "mall" was. Further evidence of being a part of some prehistoric realm. My explanation was simple enough for him to compare it to a town. "Lohan" he called it. How eerily familiar to some other "Lohan" I know… but there's no need to worry about that. Not now when I have become Dart's involuntary teacher.

Speaking of Dart, I made the foolish mistake of actually using his name. I hadn't meant to… it just seemed to… slip out. It's exhausting trying to remember to use insulting names when your companion is constantly blabbing out obscenities and trying to befriend you. Also, it really doesn't bother me to educate him in the least. I just wished I thought it through… No doubt he noticed. He stood staring at me long enough. When I questioned him, he didn't bother bringing it up, which I am grateful for. I don't think that conversation would have ended well. Anyway, since I already used it… there's no point in holding back now. I just hope he doesn't take this as a sign of me accepting him.

There were moments where he managed to surprise me. After explaining how certain things work, he was able to adapt quickly and sufficiently. He even managed to stay quiet, allowing me to guide him through the maze of unorganized, poorly bathed, individuals. Sometimes… this idi—sorry, Dart—can seem almost… civilized… That is… until the police officers showed up.

When he couldn't even tell what an officer or what a gun was… I was tempted to toss him into the fray. What frustrated me the most was the fact he couldn't understand why they were after us. Does being armed and dressed bizarrely completely pass him as being normal? The poor, deluded fool. Hopefully something good will come out of this experience. Knowing him, I doubt it.

Don't get me started on how he provoked them into starting a war with us. If I was on my own, this wouldn't have happened. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, he dragged me into a pet shop! Here we are getting chased all over the place… and he wants to hide out in a den of fluffy animals. For what? To play with puppies, kitties, and search for chipmunks. Someone… please help me…

I don't think I would have minded so much if Dart wasn't so perceptive. I… lost control again… for the second time that day. When he handed me this small puppy… I couldn't help but think of… I let it slip out how the pup reminded me of someone. I told Dart it was a small dog I used to take care of back at home. Somehow, I don't think I sounded too convincing. It's too painful to lie about something… someone… when you care about them deeply. Normally, I wouldn't have. However, I'm not going to tell my problems or past events to someone I barely even know. Someone who doesn't even know my name yet. There would be no point. It's not like Dart's my friend… not like he will ever be my friend.

Even after I finally managed to drag him outside of the store, he was still grinding down on my nerves. Well, at least he admitted to respecting me… half of the time… what a moron. No need to tell you about him dragging me into the electronics store, nearly blinding himself, and then dashing, head first, into an army. No. There's no point. Every single one of you knows where this is headed. Him being a complete idiot and me having to pick up the slack.

There was one comment that… struck me as… odd. He was confident. What am I saying? He's always confident. What I meant was… he was sure they wouldn't catch us… because he noticed how quickly I run. It was odd… it came off as a compliment. Something I'm not very used to… I guess… I do hear them from time to time but… never as sincere as he made it seem. It was an honest opinion and statement coming from Dart. It's… a bit… never mind. I don't know what to think of it. I will say this… his statement made me forget about leaving him there to rot… and distracted me from the army mentioned previously.

Finally taking the lead and allowing him to hold on to me (he's not exactly a fast runner), I decided to head towards the exit. Until he stopped me. That's when the army showed up (or better phrased, when we noticed it). Long story short, we were outnumbered. We were surrounded from all sides but leave it to Notices-Fluffy-Animals-Before-Death to not detect them and drag me to their reinforcements. It's times like those I want to take back every kind thing I said about him. Considering I haven't said many doesn't leave a lot of hope for him.

He made the bright proposal of splitting up. The logical side of me told me how reckless and dangerous it would have been to let this wild man go free. The rational side of me said, "Eh, let him blow up." I listened to the latter. At least that way, I would have been rid of the nuisance. Odin knows I need a vacation from him as it is. Maybe those rabbits can drop me off at Costa soon…

…as if that would ever happen. I had lowly goons to take care of. It didn't take long to defeat them… and it didn't take long for Dart to come find me again… with an ATV.

Why did that not surprise me?

I'll admit… seeing him driving that contraption, screaming and yelling, looking as if he's having the time of his life… I couldn't help but feel a certain happiness myself. There he was just acting like a fool, nothing new. But to me… it felt new. Refreshing, even. Nostalgic… in some ways. Something that I haven't felt in a long time. Yes. I was enjoying our little escapade. Even if it seemed I wanted nothing more than to bury him in a bowl of scorching beans, I was having fun. I smiled… a true smile… even if no one noticed it… it was there.

My smile quickly faded once I joined him on the ATV. After kidding around with him, hearing how he got his hands on said vehicle, and realizing he doesn't have a license, I wanted to throw him out and make sure I ran him over. What kind of reckless, dimwitted, irresponsible person gets behind the wheel of an enormous metal object and drives it without knowing how to drive it? You know… don't even bother answering that.

After nearly crashing to death on several occasions, we were finally saved once those rodents appeared in front of us again. Normally, I wouldn't have such a deep hatred for rabbits… but these refuse to send me home… and insist on keeping this idiot with me. I am certain the next place I land in… will have him. I can seriously do without him. He will do fine without me. After all, he's made it into his twenties without my help. He can make it at least to thirty without me.

Why do I even care? It's not like I'm worrying about him. After everything he put me through, I should consider myself lucky if I can finally get rid of him. I still haven't figured out why the fates are so persistent in having us travel together. Why? What's the reason? Is there a purpose? Or are they testing me? They are testing my abilities to handle such an infuriating man. Testing to see whether I will be able to handle him. I'll save them the trouble by saying I—

…can. I can't say he's the best companion to be with but neither is he the worst. He's not completely hopeless. He's a fast learner. He can drive me insane yet at the same time help me think. It's odd how he is able to do these things… even stranger how he doesn't let anything, be it our situation, our struggles, or my insults, faze him. I suppose for now, if I must be stuck traveling different worlds, he's a suitable companion.

Perhaps I should tell him my name…

Still, the sooner I can get home and be rid of him, the better. Being with him is exhausting.

There are a lot of things he doesn't know and I fear he might end up getting injured. He might come across a cannon and want to shoot himself out of it thinking it's a form of transportation. I'm well aware of his capabilities. I know he's not some pushover. However, seeing how little he knew and nearly getting killed because of his lack of knowledge (he really didn't know what a gun was… imagine if he saw a tank), I don't think traveling with me is the wisest choice. I won't have his death on my shoulders. First chance I get, I'm sending him home.

I can't have another person's life ruined because of…

…why did it get cold suddenly? Crap…