CHAPTER FIFTEEN – Eventually.

Finally! As usual, AN at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Enjoy!

oOo

BPOV

I came back carrying the guitar, barefoot nonetheless, knocking at Edward's door. After my shower, I slipped on a top and sweats. My hair was up in a high ponytail. I was dressed for comfort. The door opened and he stepped to the side, smiling, letting me in.

I plopped down on his black couch, which I was sure I already loved, and sat my guitar on my lap.

"What do we do with this?" I gestured down to my guitar.

He shrugged, walking to the couch, smiling as he went.

"I'm not sure. I don't really have any plans for today."

I tip my head back. "You're not sure? You made me go back and shower and change and then bring my guitar… Because you had nothing planned?" I asked, sarcastically.

He shrugged again, plopping down on the couch next to me, making the cushions tip at his weight.

"Can we just sit here and talk and get warm? And I just want to stare at you and sit with you and laugh silly with you… Bella, you know what I mean."

I smiled, half amused, half appeased. His words were endearing and so incredibly honest. "Sure, why not."

I crossed my legs on the couch and he followed suit.

We were stalling and being stupid and I knew it. Both avoiding a conversation we knew we had to have. Soon. But we were both in a bubble that neither of us were willing to burst. One of us were going to have to do it, and very, very soon.

oOo

EPOV

She was sitting on my couch. Bella Dwyer was sitting on my couch. It was late at night and I was extremely tired and sleepy after my shift. The past 2 days had been an insane emotional rollercoaster and tonight was going to end with Bella in my arms so it was very well worth it. She leaned into me on the couch and for the past 30 minutes, we'd been talking about the most random things.

I played with the ends of her hair and breathed in her scent, memorizing the curve of her back, molded into my chest. I memorized simple gestures she made, waving her arms all over the place when she described a documentary on factories.

I knew she thought about the real world too. I knew this because she had small pauses in between her speeches. It seemed that she was trying to just coax me into starting the conversation. I'd so far opted not to.

Ignorance is bliss.

But she was braver than me. The girl with the warm skin and the sweet scent and soft hair was braver than me.

She brought up Ben first, asking me on suggestions on how to deal with the situation. I reminded her that she was the one who worked in PR, that she knew how to deal with it far better than I could even think.

The entire time, my brain kept wishing and wishing that she had no feelings for him. I clutched her tighter, to remind her of my presence. That I was here for her. Not him. I was here and with her and I was holding her and reassuring her. Not him.

I knew my girl wasn't stupid. But I doubted anyways.

I stayed quiet as she thought, tracing lines over the trail of ink on my right arm.

It was quiet. We were both consumed by our own thoughts and all I could think of was her. The girl made me feel.

The look in her eyes and the things she said, the heat of her figure and her fingers all over my ink… It was like she was the one thing my life had been lacking. And people say this all the time, that being in love meant that life changed and perspectives changed and that it changes you too. She changed me. She gave me hope in the little things in live. She made me excited again and for the past few months…

She was my happiness. But she was this force I couldn't shelter or protect. I tried my best to be there for her but I couldn't keep her from him. Because she's her own force, her own mind and opinion and decisions. She accepted me and I will always have to remember that accepting me was her choice too.

But I can't keep her. I can't contain her. If she was going to be with me, then it would have to be her choice. I wouldn't leave her, that was for sure. But I couldn't be sure if she thought of me as a constant, as I think of her.

I wanted to tell her a million different things. To admit my feelings, my opinions and ask her to stay. But the guy before me had broken her and we weren't whole pieces. I cannot place my assurance on us either because our lives since now had been separate and content.

I would assure her if I could. I would trust us if I could. But I couldn't because I was a selfish bastard who dared not to risk his own wellbeing. But I knew the truth. I'd tell myself that I wasn't in deep and that I wasn't invested in her but it wouldn't be the truth.

The truth was, this force of a girl can do as she pleases and I'd still care for her. Because no matter what happens now, she was part of my life and she'd changed me. I will always look back to a time where I was hopeful and where life was decent and exciting. I'd still admire her for her strength, her perseverance and her warmth, her selflessness and how I gravitated towards her was the truth.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

She moved her fingers to clutch my wrist, her small hand barely grasping my arm.

"I'll talk to Ben. We'll have a civil conversation, in public… And I'm going to get everything over with."

I nodded, kissing her hair.

She was a force I couldn't contain, a wind I couldn't direct. I could only hope. And I held her tight because I couldn't be assured. Because I doubted and I was going to assure myself that her warmth on me was a truth. I was going to let her decide.

"Do what you need to, love."

I cleared my throat before I continued.

"How sure are you that he's no longer angry? And how are you going to contact him? Do you want me to go with you? I can, if you want. And-"

She stopped me by turning her head, resting her cheek against my chest.

"He called a few times on my phone, and I'm pretty sure that the 15 voicemails I have are from either him or Alice… I can go alone, but will you take me?"

I nodded. I'd agree to anything this girl asked.

"Of course."

oOo

"If anything happens, you speed dial me. Get a seat where it's crowded, preferably by the side window so I can see if anything goes wrong…"

She nodded at my instructions, on her face a look of annoyance.

"Sorry, love. It's just hard for me, that's all."

She nodded again, genuinely this time. "I know."

She took a last look at me and opened the car door, proceeding to cross the street and enter the small bistro.

Here goes.

oOo

BPOV

It was sunny outside, winter was finally pulling to a close. I was jittery, but completely confident. I knew I'd thought everything through. I had the upper hand. I could do this.

Edward reminded me last night to not be a pushover. I didn't know how he was handling it so well. He wasn't pushing me towards a decision at all. He was supportive and comforting and that on its own coaxed me to make up my mind.

I had my sunglasses on and I dressed well. I knew that if the paparazzi caught us, they absolutely could not see the outing as a parting, as what it really was. They had to see it as another lunch date. They had to be caught off guard, so they had nothing to really publish.

I sat in one of the booths by the window where Edward told me to sit. I took a quick glance out the window and spotted the car. I licked my lips and looked back at the menu to mindlessly scroll while I wait.

I thought of everything I was going to say. In my head, I carefully thought out my sentences, words put together such as that a tone of finality was in them. He had to know that this was it. I wasn't going to be pushed over. He wasn't going to make me move with him.

This was going to be a civil conversation. None of us were going to raise our voices.

When he arrived, he sat down on the chair across from me, his body slamming heavily on the padded seat. He took of his sunglasses and I finally looked up, making eye contact for the first time.

The waitress came by and took our orders. He was smiling for her, for show. I was too. I watched the waitress walk away and type up something into her phone, probably reporting our appearance.

This added a sense of normalcy. But I knew it wasn't normal. This was it.

"So…" His voice brought me out of my thoughts.

I looked at him again. He looked tired, sleepless. I looked calm, composed. I made sure this morning while I got ready.

I smiled weakly. "Hi."

"Hey." He nodded at me.

"I'm so, so, sorry."

I knew this was coming. I said nothing and let him continue. Best to let him get it over with, I guess.

"I didn't know what I was thinking… I got angry and shocked and I overreacted. I hope you're okay… I was a jerk, I'm sorry. I realized that I threatened your position with the company, I'll call Jessica to make sure that you won't lose your job… I understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore, I mean, I wouldn't if I were you…"

He seemed genuinely baffled. Probably scared that I was going to publish things to the press, making him look bad.

I would never do such a thing.

"No, Ben… I don't want the job at the PR company anymore. Listen, I'm quitting today. I'll call Jessica right after lunch."

The waitress came back with our drink orders and we smiled at her weakly in thanks. I took a small sip of my coke and continued.

"The thing is, we need a way to deal with this 'break-up' as to cause the least attention possible."

He nodded, obviously refusing to argue with me anymore.

"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to go to LA and get with whoever Jessica decides to pair you up with there. I'm going to stay here. By the time the news with you and your new girl are up and running, they're going to realize that the press have nothing to release about me or our break-up."

He frowned, nodding again.

"Okay, Bella. Whatever you ask."

I sighed.

"Don't be stupid, Ben. Say what you mean."

He rubbed his fingers on his temples.

"I don't know how I'm going to deal with another press relationship. And quite honestly, I'm going to miss you."

I sighed again, twirling the straw in my drink.

"You'll be fine." I said with finality.

We ate our food in silence and the entire time, all I could think was that Edward was waiting in the car for me. Worried.

He was waiting. My future was waiting for me. I could not remember the last time I was so enthusiastic and optimistic about the future. I placed my fork down.

"Ben," he continued to play with his food.

"Hey, Ben." He looked up finally.

I took a deep breath and let out in a single breath.

"Don't make this suck."

He frowned in confusion.

"If we look like two depressed people who's dogs got run over in the driveway, the press is going to think something. It's quite possibly my last meal with you, ever. I don't understand completely why you did what you did and I hope to God you never do that to any other girl ever again, but please, please don't make this suck." I pleaded.

He smiled weakly, this time reaching his eyes though. He moved his arm over the table and took my hand in his.

"I'm sorry." He said again.

I nodded. "I know. And it's okay."

I smiled again.

"Ignoring what happened that night, you… You're not a bad friend, Ben. You're not a bad person. You were angry and so was I and we did stupid crap. For what it's worth, I'm sorry too. But you have to promise me that this is it. You can't ask for anything more of me other than this conversation here. Maybe I'll meet you again… who knows. But know that it'll be different then."

He nodded, gripping my hand tighter before letting go.

"I know."

I took a last sip of my drink and picked up my coat.

"You're paying for lunch." I pointed out as I got up. He stayed seating and he looked up at me.

"It's the least I could do."

I slung my bag over my shoulders.

"Bye, Ben."

I leaned over the table and kissed him on the cheek.

That was that.

A chapter of my life, closed. Done. Over.

On a good note too.

I walked to the car across the street, dodging a few questions thrown by the paparazzi, smiling as always.

I sat in the warm car, shrugging off my coat and bag.

I noticed his knuckles first, white, gripping the steering wheel. Then his eyes.

It was full of questions. They were the eyes of a little boy who needed to be reassured. They were not sad eyes, just doubtful.

I nodded at him and then a tear slipped out of my eye.

The last tear I was going to shed for a long time, I promised myself.

"Thank you, Edward."

He nodded. "All good?"

I nodded back.

"Perfect."

He started up the car and we both buckled our seatbelts back up.

"Home?" He asked, a smile on his face.

I slipped my sunglasses back on, thankful for the first time that I was wearing them truly because the sun was out and not because of flashbulbs from cameras…

"Home."

And I reached over, picking up his right hand from the steering wheel, wrapping them around my own and kissing his previously white knuckles.

I saw his smile in my peripheral on the rearview mirror.

There were still things that we had to talk about. And there were still conversations we've yet to have. Where we were now was far from perfect, but closer than before, I guess. That's something to be thankful for.

His fingers played with my own as it sat between both of us.

He was hot cocoa. Warm and sweet, delicate and strong and comforting. The aftertaste was bitter but the taste well worth it. I glanced at the tattoo on his arm, the lines of ink I had memorized. This was his strength, his defenses. This was one that I had memorized. Strength in his flesh, strong enough for us both.

He was real and he sat next to me and I barely ever understood fate and destiny until now. I'm not sure if I believed it but I now know it to be plausible.

Two hands that fit together so perfectly, they were seemingly created from one mold.

At a red light, I looked at his eyes again, twinkling as he looked into mine. I move the hand clutching his to his face, feeling his skin tremble as he breathed.

This was the spark I was looking for, the spark I yearned. The fireworks, the warmth, the glow. I pulled his lips to mine and it was slow and smooth and comforting. An overwhelming breath of air.

His hand went to my hair and we breathed each other.

I think it's finally eventually now.

Finally.

oOo

AN:

Aww! Finally, right?

Sorry I took so long, but apologies are overrated, hopefully this chapter makes up for my (almost) year long absence. This chapter will be completed this summer, I promise. Be sure to follow my twitter account for updates (lemonschlemon).

I now thank the usual. RosAlice22 who I love dearly. And every other person who've followed this from the start and is relieved I didn't die. HAHA okay, sorry, bad joke.

Leave a review if you please, but thank you for visiting and reading.

I'll see you all soon! :D

- Michelle