CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – Epilogue

oOo

BPOV

"Bella, where'd you put the new pack of air fresheners?"

I stayed put in my place on the couch, sitting lengthwise with my ankles crossed. "They should be under the sink."

I listened as Edward rummaged around in the kitchen and I flipped over to the next page in the magazine.

"Bella… You bought these ones?"

I looked up from the page I was inspecting and saw Edward in the doorway of the living room. He held up the pack of air fresheners in his hand. I frowned. "What's wrong with them? Do they smell bad?"

"Love… They're mini guitars."

I blinked and continued to look at the pack of air fresheners. "So?"

"They're little plastic guitar air fresheners… That's why."

I shut the magazine, "well, you play the guitar… I thought they were appropriate." I shrugged.

He let out a laugh, his hand dropping to his side. "Is this payback for accidentally bleaching that load of clothes last week?"

I smiled, "whatever do you mean? I thought my white shirts did have a tie-dye pattern on them." I opened the magazine again, scanning the article.

"There's a real pack in the TV cabinet but I hate air fresheners… They give you cancer."

He laughed, dropping the pack onto the coffee table before rummaging through the TV cabinet. "I thought I was the doctor here."

He got up from his hunches and I didn't have to look up to know that he was smiling. "Love, what the heck are you reading?"

A coy smile played on my lips. "I found one of your old Playboys when I was unpacking… Actually I found a few but I took one out for right now." I opened up the magazine at the centerfold shot of a blonde and danced it from side to side in the air.

"I bet you read them for the articles, don't you?"

He let out a nervous laugh, his cheek tinged a slight pink. "Those are years old, just throw them away…"

I turned the picture back to face me. "But why?"

"I'm serious, I enjoy the articles. Okay, listen to this. Dolly here loves to take pictures and walking on the beach. Very interesting."

He chuckled behind me and disappeared back into the kitchen, undoubtedly embarrassed and trying to quickly end the conversation. I closed the magazine and tossed it to land next to the pack of air fresheners.

oOo

I moved around the new kitchen, still having open a few drawers to check for the contents, not having them memorized yet. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist as I was slicing the chicken to thin slices.

"Bella…"

I bit at my bottom lips, "Edward…"

He dropped his chin to sit on my shoulder, his lips right by my ear.

"I love you."

I turned around, dropping the knife on the chopping board. Unable to move from my place as his arms were on the counter, around my sides, I raised my clean hand and flattened the palm against his chest to push him away. Avoiding his gaze the entire time and yet I still knew that he was watching me, wide eyed.

"Bella?"

"Take it back." My hands sat on the edge of our new dining table.

"What?"

I shook my head in response, hung low, my chin grazing my chest.

"Why would I take it back?"

I shook my head again, my eyes narrowed at the wooden finish of the table.

"Because it's a lie."

"Hell no!"

"You can't love me, Edward. You can't." My hands gripped at the edge of the table. "Take it back, Edward. Please." I turned around as he walked towards me. "Just take it back…"

He shook his head, just as stubbornly as I did before. "No."

"I won't take it back. I love you. I love you. Don't tell me it's a lie. It hurts me to hear you tell me that what I feel is a lie. Do you want to know why?"

My hands gripped at the table again at my sides, feeling cornered. His arms trapped me in place again as they clasped over mine on the table. My throat was dry and I had to force myself to answer. "Why?"

"Because I've loved you for a while now. Because I know that if it wasn't anything, then it would've blown over. Because you make me insane. Insanely happy, thrilled, scared… Because life is indefinable without you. Because I know I need you."

He gripped tighter over my hands. "Because I know you love me too."

I forced out a rough, sharp scoff, trying my hardest to stay tough. To stay hardened. "How could you possibly know that? Is that on one of my pages that you claim is so easy for you to read?"

He leaned closer to me, his green eyes dark, his jaw clenching. "I see it too. I see it all over your face, I hear it when you call my name… I feel it."

I hit out at him with a clenched fist, just like that night I tried to fight him away in the elevator. My other fist followed. "Damn it!" He was quick to block out the blows of my punches, catching my wrists one by one and pressed them to his chest. "Edward…" I shook my head as it hung low.

My knees turned into mush and my body crumbled soon after. He caught me and gathered me up against his chest, lowering himself to the floor and cradled me, my legs slung over his lap. He moved slowly, his body rocking us both.

"Bella?" His hands found my back, stroking it as his lips continued to press kisses on my head. "Say something, love. Anything…"

"I cant keep doing this to myself, Edward."

"What?"

I felt as his muscles stiffened against me, and I forced my eyes to stay frozen looking down at my lap. I didn't answer him. I instead reached up and my hand found the back of his neck and my lips brushed his.

He pulled away, his green eyes looking down at me in concern. "Bella?"

I traced the features of his face, concentrating heavily on the corners of his mouth. I wanted to tell him so much at that very moment, to tell him exactly that I was giving up by admitting my feelings to him. I wanted to let him know that I denied it, not because I didn't know it, but because I was afraid. Because I couldn't be completely dependent. Because I couldn't get hurt and I had to make sure that at least, he was detached, so that he wouldn't get hurt too. But I didn't say anything. I simply brushed his lips with my fingers then brought them to my own lips.

"Love, please." He licked his lips. "Say something."

I smiled softly, letting him know that I was okay. My palm flattened across his chest again and I could feel his heartbeat underneath my hand, the thumps wild and erratic.

"I love you too."

oOo

My eyes opened and I saw Edward raise an eyebrow at me in greeting, his phone pressed to his ear.

"Hey, mom," he answered. Sitting back down on the bed, his hand rested on my knee and I easily wrap one arm around his waist, pulling myself up to sit on the bed. I could hear his mom's voice over the phone in soft murmurs, unable to make out any words. I placed a soft kiss to the back of his neck and he pulled his head away, glaring at me for distracting him. I grinned and he returned it quickly.

"Things are great," his reply to hear came out in a short sigh. He relaxed again into my touch and I wondered what it'd be like when my mom called to ask me how things were. I'd tell her what I told her when she visited. That things are perfect. As good as it was ever going to get.

"Yes, the hospital's fine," he said. I'd almost forgotten about that. He was placed in the pediatric ward, a huge change to his previous spot in Seattle.

"I know," he replied to something else. I felt his shoulders tense underneath my arm and I ran my hands across his stomach. Slowly, he lifted the phone away from his ear to glare at me some more but I plucked the phone from his hand without much thought.

"Esme?" I said into the phone. She stopped talking mid sentence and I realized that this wasn't the best idea. I didn't think it through at all.

"Bella?" she asked and I did a little happy dance, glad that she remembered my name. That probably meant he talked about me, right? Edward pulled away in shock and leaned back on his elbow, watching me with a confused look on his face.

"Hi, how are you doing?" I asked, just because I didn't know what else to say.

"I'm fine, dear. How are you?" she answers politely and I pick at the hem of my shirt absentmindedly.

"Great. Just trying to decide where to go for dinner." I lifted my eyes to look at Edward again and he smiled at me in what seemed like an offer for comfort.

"Oh, the life before your calories really catch up with you," Esme sighs and I could almost hear her smile through the phone. I laughed and I tossed my feet to rest on Edward's folded knees. He caught one of them and I try to kick it out of his grasp.

"Well it was a toss up between eating out or eating whatever Edward was going to feed me," I said. It was mostly for Edward's benefit but Esme laughs nonetheless and I felt proud. I was winning her over.

"He always was a fantastic cook. So when are you both coming down here so I can cook for you?" And the phone almost slips from my grasp. The combination of Edward's parents and that question and Edward tickling at the base of my foot almost stopped my heart.

I plead with Edward with my eyes for help but he smirked, not knowing what Esme just said, and his hands continued to trace patterns on my foot lightly, tickling it and driving me insane.

"I, um, I'm not sure. You'd have to ask Edward about that." I wriggle my way out of her question and attempt to wriggle my foot from his grasp. She scoffed and I swallow hard, trying to hold back laughter and in anxiety of her answer.

"If things were left up to him, you'd both have four children and a house in Chicago before we meet." That was where I almost die. I choked on my own spit. I was sure Edward found it appealing as I gasped and struggled to keep my noises down.

Edward finally released my foot and was right next to me, rubbing my back as I tried to breathe. Heck, he was a doctor? Wasn't he supposed to know how choking worked?

He kissed my shoulder and I take deep breaths, still shaking from her question and my lack of air.

Kids?

"Are you okay, dear?" Esme's voice broke my silence and I placed the phone back to my ear.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here." I offer. Edward chuckled next to me and handed me a glass of water.

"Sunday, alright? You both come by for dinner. Don't worry about bringing anything but my son." She orders. I had no chance and nodded mutely.

"Sounds great," I lied. It sounded terrifying. She chirped a goodbye and after a whisper for a reply, I pulled the phone back from my ear and stared down at it, the screen turning black after a few seconds.

Edward kissed my shoulder. Then my neck, moving up to my face.

"Trying to distract me?"

"Of course. Is it working?"

"I'm terrified."

"Don't worry. We don't have to think about that until Saturday night."

I nodded. "Yeah."

oOo

"Edward…"

"I know, love. I know." He sat up and his arms wrapped around me, his face pressed to the crook between my neck and shoulder. He sighed as I moved my hips. "I love you."

His hands flattened across my back and held me closer to him, his body moving in a pace that matched mine.

My hands found his hair, tugging lightly at the soft strands and I sighed. My eyes closed and my grip on him tightened, knuckles white and muscles tense.

"Don't ever leave. Don't…" His voice cracked, he paused before continuing. "I can't live without you."

I felt tears appear in the corners of my eyes at his words. At the truth of his words. At the grittiness, the honesty. My emotions made my heart swell beyond control and I exploded, the waves taking me over completely and I let the tears fall as my entire body shook.

"Love, don't cry…"

I tightened my hold around his neck. "No!", I pulled him closer. "Don't, please. Just…. Please, just keep making love to me. Please…"

He pulled back lightly and I loosened my grip to meet my eyes, his hand reaching up to brush away the tears from my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, movements halting temporarily. "Don't cry, love. I love you. I never want to be the reason you cry."

I shook my head, strands my hair falling out of its bun at the top of my head.

"I'm crying because I love you. Because I've never felt anything like this." The embarrassment sank in and I buried my face into his shoulder, digging at his chest. "I need, I need you to…"

Without another word, he rolled us on the bed. It didn't take long after that for us to both find the release we needed and I held him, long after the heat and the tremors faded from both our bodies. Slowly, it was replaced by comfortable warmth and soft movements of our chests as we slowed down our breathing. I sighed, my head tipped back lightly.

oOo

"Love…"

I chuckled lightly but I didn't move or open my eyes, feeling Edward brush his lips across the top of my shoulder.

"Love, you've got to get up. We need to pick up my aunt and uncle from the airport."

"Shut up and go back to sleep," I said lazily. He bit my shoulder and with a smile, I turned in his arms, opening my eyes to gaze up at him.

"Do I have to?"

Edward smiled back and bent to kiss me again, his right arm still cradling my head.

"No. We can forget to pick them up, stay in bed all day and eat Doritos. We can even watch a few episodes of daytime Soaps." He chuckled as I wiggled my nose in disagreement.

"That's what I thought. Now get up, jump in the shower. We've got things to do."

I groaned again. "You think they'll notice if we didn't show up?"

He chuckled again. "Love, come on. I'll make you some coffee."

"But I don't want coffee." My hand rested on his chest. "I want you."

"You've got me." He kissed me again. "But we've also got to go and see them. So, up you go."

I pouted at him and out of spite, I remained perfectly still.

"I'm completely terrified about this and all you want to do is kick me out of bed…"

He let out a hearty laugh, his white teeth peeking up between his lips.

"I love you so much, even if you are a little minx sometimes."

I scoffed. "A minx you keep trying to push out of bed."

Recognizing the teasing look I was shooting at him, Edward rolled his eyes playfully. His free arm shifting so that he could press a hand against my stomach, his thumb stroking the skin there. "There's nothing I'd like more than to keep you in this bed… For the next century or so."

"Maybe I need some incentive."

"Incentive?" I nodded. He was grinning but I could see the hint of seriousness in his eyes. "Close your eyes."

I eyed him, squinting at him teasingly before I closed my eyes completely, scrunching them tight down for emphasis.

"This better be a really good incentive," I joked and frowned when I felt the bed shift as he stepped off. The bed dipped again as his weight returned a few minutes later, his touch returning.

I felt his fingers slide slowly off my stomach but my frown deepened as a small steady weight remained.

"You can open your eyes now."

I kept them closed. "I'm not sure that's safe…"

Edward laughed lightly and I felt his lips brush against my cheek, barely grazing. "Bella, open your eyes, love."

I opened my right eye first and then my left, my gaze slowly focusing on the small black box positioned on my stomach. I didn't move, continuing to stare at the box as if it was going to disappear.

"This wasn't how I planned to do this," Edward scratched at the scruff on his chin. "I had it perfectly thought out but I realized that I really didn't want to wait that long…" He cleared his throat.

"I love you, Bella. There's no one else in the world that I want to be with. I'm done searching because I know you're it."

I moved my gaze back to the box, still staring at it in shock. "Edward…"

"I want you to marry me. I want to make you my wife." His eyes watched my face. "Spend the rest of your life with me. Marry me, Bella."

My breath caught in my throat. "I… I don't know what to say."

His hand moved to tuck a small piece of hair behind my ear. "Say yes."

I shifted my gaze back to his face.

"Are you sure?"

He laughed at me quietly, his fingers grazing my cheek. "I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life."

Not even caring where the box fell, I sat up, my fingers clasping at the back of his neck and I pulled him down to kiss him. One kiss turned into two, and then three and when I finally pulled away, I was smiling so widely, my jaws were hurting.

"I'm taking that as a yes?"

My grin turned into a laugh. "Yes." I nodded. "Yes."

He grinned and bent down to kiss me again, only pulling away to grab the box before it rolled off the bed. My eyes went back to the box as he flipped it open, my eyes widening at the ring nestled inside the velvet lining.

It was simple. A shiny, platinum ring that held a square diamond stone.

"I hope you like it… Heck, I hope it fits." And it does. The ring slid on my finger effortlessly, fitting perfectly.

"I love it." My eyes were glued to the ring, my mind swimming with thoughts I couldn't begin to process. For the longest time, I fought the simple act of blinking, as if it would disappear. I let out a soft sigh.

"Love, what is it?"

I looked back into Edward's eyes.

"Now I really don't want to get out of bed."

oOo oOo oOo

They sit on the balcony, looking out at the skyline of the city. The small French balcony has barely any space and barely fit them as they sat Indian style, drinking coffee at dawn. The sun's rising over the buildings in the distance, the glass of the structures glinting the light from the sun, appearing to glow at the edges.

Bella leans against the railing of the balcony, her shoulder wedges in between the little bars. Edward has one hand on her knee, the other one clutching a mug of coffee, his legs pressing against the metal railings. He starts to think of their life together.

He knows that they'd never have that moment again exactly, but that they could and will have others. He imagines as they'd wake up in their small apartment in Chicago, sipping coffee in little street cafes in Paris and Italy and the love of his life in a white dress, beautiful as ever.

They will start first with the apartment, furnishing and organizing, making sure that it was collectively his and hers. And later they'll have fights and arguments, sheltered in the walls of their apartment and outside, in the streets. Arguments fueled by their love for one another, because they were stubborn and insisting. But she was it for him. He knows this. He'll never seek for anything else, anyone else.

He wants to tell her a million different things, to utter to her the things unfolding in his mind, the images of their future. He wants to admit mistakes and utter his hopes and wishes. But right now, nothing else really matters.

Because this moment in Chicago as they sip on lukewarm coffee in the small balcony… This is perfect. He isn't going to tamper with it. Alter it. Change it. This moment is what it is, and he makes sure to remember to cherish everything he will go through, because moments like this cannot be repeated.

"How did you plan to do it?"

His face turns, to look at hers. The small strands of her hair moving in the wind lightly and the edges glowed in the dim sunlight. He takes a sip of his coffee.

"To do what?"

She pulls the blanket tighter over her shoulder. "To propose."

He chuckles and begins to trace patterns on the skin of her knee.

"I planned a trip back to Seattle on the anniversary of Charlie's passing. I'd do a gig and then propose to you on stage."

She laughs lightly, her mind picturing how that would've turned out.

"Really? It would be a like a chick flick. And then we'd get drunk and Arlene would cry and rush home and then we'd get naked and frisky..."

They both erupted into laughter as the sun continues to rise over the horizon, more light shedding on them than before, making more things visible, more exposed.

"Well, I didn't think of it like that… I was going to sing Jackson, so it'd be like Johnny Cash and June Carter's."

A smile dances on her lips, she leans over and kisses his ear, then his cheek, his nose and finally his lips.

He plays with her hair and kisses her again. He grabs her cold hand from her lap and she moves her head, plopping it down on his lap, struggling to stretch lengthwise in the small space.

"I love you."

She giggles, her heart bursting with warmth and joy. Everything that was good and right and happy.

"Ditto." He kisses her again.

The sun soon found its place in the middle of the sky, shining down at them as they touch, cuddle, hug and kiss. The small flowers in the terrace are now in full view.

Spring time in Chicago.

oOo

AN:

And that's it. I might post outtakes or alternative endings… I'm open to requests/suggestions. Make sure to put me on story alert if you want to see those.

Thank you to everyone still reading at this point. Leave me a review on your way out, since it's the last time.

RosAlice22, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Leave questions in the reviews or message me them… That's all. Bye, everyone! It's been great.