Chapter 12: Sugar and Spice

A/N: My lovely readers: I have been under the influence of the flu for WEEKS now and it tried to make a reemergence. I'm sorry about not replying to your reviews – I do love them so – but I figured you'd prefer the chapter sooner. Yes?

Disclaimer: Not my characters, as much as I want them to be.

"So what did Charlie say?" Jasper asked when he was done doing his it's-a-girl happy dance. Bella rolled her eyes, knowing that her daughter would have no shortage of punk-rock outfits. She counted her blessings that at least she could count on Jasper to stay away from frilly and lacy.

"Charlie said he was taking her fishing the minute she could hold a pole, and that if she's anything like me, she'll love every minute."

"You hate fishing," Jasper said, confused.

"Exactly. Charlie is hoping she'll defy her parentage in his favor," Bella smiled indulgently. She was still relieved that her father was so looking forward to being a grandpa. He'd already hinted around that he'd totally be up for baby-sitting when she went back to work.

These days though, Bella didn't plan that far ahead. Ever since she had accepted that Edward was a part of her child's life, all of her carefully laid plans had gone out the window. Then - because, apparently, uncomplicated was just too mundane - she and Edward had discovered that once they weren't antagonizing each other, they really liked each other.

A lot.

Bella supposed then that she could see the conventional wisdom behind the idea that a couple, if that's what they were, should really know each other before they had a baby. The difference between Bella and Edward and those other couples was that they had a very narrow window. At twenty weeks, Bella was halfway through her pregnancy.

Twenty weeks seemed at once way too far away and heart-pounding, breath-caught-in-throat close. She was still as eager as ever to meet her daughter - wondering endlessly what combination of features she had inherited. Not to mention, Bella was the type of person that once she decided something, she was eager to get to it. She'd been ready for her baby to be here since the minute she'd decided she wanted to be a mother.

But then, there was Edward throwing yet another kink in her master plan. She had decided she liked being single and had no wish to commit herself to a relationship. Though he unquestionably had the worst timing imaginable, Edward was slowly making her reconsider her plans. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once.

"And Renee?" Jasper's voice cut into her thoughts, and Bella was able to breathe again.

"You know Renee. She's had this image in her head since she moved to Florida about dressing up a little girl in Disney Princess dresses." Bella shook her head ruefully. "I'm sure she's already gone out and bought them from age 1 to 14."

"Peter dressed up as Aladdin for me one night. It was hot," Jasper said conversationally.

Bella screwed her face up. "Hey. You do not desecrate the Disney innocence in front of my daughter. She can hear you know," she protested, cradling her belly protectively in her hands.

Covering a chortle with his hand, Jasper leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk as he scrolled through the scripts he was reviewing. Though Friday Night Delayed was on summer hiatus, Jasper still had plenty to do. Today he was looking for new writers, and Bella was keeping him company, doing her paperwork from her laptop on the couch.

"And Edward? How's he taking it? Some guys think that they want a boy, but little girls just end up wrapping their daddies around their fingers," he grinned.

"Edward..." Bella sighed, frowning at the automatic disorientation she felt when she tried to connect Edward with the baby.

Doubtless, alerted by the shift in the tone of her voice, Jasper glanced up. "Is he not happy?"

Looking down at her computer screen studiously, Bella tried to find the right words. "He wasn't unhappy. I don't really know how he feels about it. We didn't talk about it."

At this Jasper turned around, putting his feet on the ground and leaning forward. "I thought you two were getting along. In fact, Alice thought that maybe Edward has a bit of a crush on you," his tone at the end turned sing-song.

Ever dependable, Bella's blush gave her away. "Even if he did," she deflected, "what would it matter? Wouldn't that make things even more complicated than they already are?"

He reached out, affectionately tapping her chin. "Give him a break, Bella. Even if you are off the romantic market, it doesn't mean that these guys can't see what they're missing. There are worse things than your baby daddy having a little school boy crush on you."

Bella hardly had time to dwell on the relief she felt that Jasper hadn't read into her own attraction. At that moment, they were distracted by a familiar clack, clack, clacking on the tile floors outside the office. The sound was so ominous, bringing with it trepidation not unlike when your doctor was about to stab you with a sharp needle. "Ah, hell," Bella muttered.

The next moment the devil, in all her curly, red-headed glory, appeared in the doorway. "Swan! What the hell is the matter with you?"

Searching her brain to figure out what Victoria could be talking about, Bella came up blank. "Ma'am?"

"Don't ma'am me. Why the hell is your phone off?" Victoria demanded.

Bella automatically reached for the phone she always kept in her right hand pocket. She pursed her lips as she stared at the blank screen. "I must have forgotten to charge it," she admitted. Somehow she didn't think that her boss would be amused with the 'baby's eating my brain cells' excuse, as true as it seemed at times.

Casting an apologetic smile at Jasper - and holding back a giggle when she saw he was miming taking Victoria out with a shotgun - Bella scampered off behind her boss, pretending to listen as she yelled.

~0~

The night before they were set to go to Query found Bella at Jacob and Lizzie's place.

It had always been a relief to Bella that her two best friends had fallen in with such wonderful significant others. As they'd dated, Jasper and Jacob had rolled their eyes at the way she worried and nit picked over their various girlfriends and boyfriends. When they'd ultimately settled down with Peter and Lizzie respectively, Bella couldn't have been more pleased.

Apparently, they knew how to do things the uncomplicated way.

That evening, Bella found herself watching the couple. While she'd always found their easy affection beautiful, she'd never thought of it as something she wanted. Growing up, both her parents had been single. They'd never lacked for people to talk to. With Charlie, there had been an endless stream of friends bringing over their catch for the day and settling down over the latest game and Vitamin R. Renee's home had never been lacking for interesting people and intriguing conversation. Even when they were alone, both Renee and Charlie seemed to enjoy their daughter's company, conversing with her as naturally as if she was a fellow adult. Even though Renee had eventually married again, her parents had never seemed lonely or lacking just because they had no partner.

So while she found other people's couplehood made her smile, it was not something she was jealous of.

Now, though, as the evening progressed, she found herself dealing with an unfamiliar longing. Everything with Edward burned hot and unsettled her as much as it exhilarated her. Jacob and Lizzie seemed like they were cozy around the fire instead of standing, burning, in it. And for the first time in her life, she found she had an unbidden yearning for … this.

She pushed all this away when Lizzie's cell phone rang and she excused herself to take the call. Bella waited until the other woman was out of earshot before she turned to Jacob, relieved to have finally gotten him alone. "Jake?"

Jacob didn't tear his eyes away from the television set at first. "What's up?"

"Listen, about tomorrow night... Edward is going to be there, and I need you to promise you're going to at least be civil to him."

That got Jacob's attention. He turned to her, his too-long, black hair falling in his face as he did. "Edward's going to be there?"

"And his editor," Bella confirmed, narrowing her eyes warningly at him.

If he saw the warning, he chose to ignore it. "How did that happen? This is supposed to be a private dinner. The soft opening is next week."

"I asked Quil and Embry to do me a favor," Bella said defensively. "They like Edward's stuff, and it was his birthday."

Jacob studied her intently, his eyebrows scrunched with the intensity of his scrutiny. "You did fuck him, didn't you?"

Bella winced, the words sounding ugly the way her friend spat them. "Jesus, Jacob. Don't be so crass."

He cocked his head, his eyes widening slightly. "Wow. You fucked him, and you like him now. Fuck, Bella... only you."

"You told me to fuck him," Bella protested, crossing her arms and feeling ridiculous for feeling like a child being scolded.

"Exactly. Fuck him. It was obvious you needed some... relief from all the stress, and you two had plenty of tension to work out." He shrugged. "Who else was going to do it? In your condition you'd probably attract a bunch of creepy fetishists."

"Look," Bella said through clenched teeth, needing to get off this topic before she punched her best friend in the face, "Can you just please be cool about this?"

Jacob seemed incredulous. "You want me to be cool? This isn't cool. What are you thinking? This side of a few months ago, the guy didn't want to be a daddy. Now he suddenly has you wrapped around his finger?"

"Oh for fucks sake. It's not like that," Bella said, exasperated. "Honestly, it's none of your business what's going on between us. I'm a big girl, Jacob. Anyway, it doesn't matter. All I'm asking is that you be civil. I know you're not his biggest fan."

"You weren't either," he reminded.

The door to their bedroom opened, and Lizzie was on her way back then. Bella dropped her tone. "Just promise me you're going to be civil. And no one knows … about us. Please just keep it to yourself."

Jacob stared hard at her, but eventually he nodded his acquiescence.

~0~

Somehow, Edward couldn't find it in him to be surprised when his doorbell rang a couple of hours before he had to be at Query. He was even less surprised to be confronted by the sight of his sister-in-law - the little one - smiling sweetly. "Hello, Alice," he greeted with a resigned expression on his face.

"So," Alice began, traipsing into his entryway as she spoke, "I was talking to Bella the other day-"

"Alice," he cut her off, admonishing. "Don't bother Bella."

The raven haired little beauty gave him an indignant look. "I don't bother Bella. We're friends now." She grinned and patted her burgeoning belly. "We have a lot in common after all." She plopped herself down on the couch, making herself comfortable. "Anyway, as I was saying. I was talking to Bella the other day, and she happened to mention how she had a dinner party to go to tonight. And then, imagine my surprise when I see your Facebook status that says you're really excited about dinner tonight."

"I'm frequently excited about dinner. I do dinner for a living," he evaded.

She looked at him with a quirked eyebrow until he gave in. "Fine. It was a birthday gift. She got me into an advanced opening of a new restaurant with a lot of buzz. It's not what you're thinking - there will be other people there."

"I didn't say I was thinking anything, dear Edward," she said, looking entirely too triumphant. "So tell me the truth."

Sitting on the opposite couch, Edward grumbled and put his hands over his face. "Alice, you have to keep this to yourself."

"Things have changed between you."

"Yes."

"I knew it! I could see it at the party," she enthused.

Lifting one hand to look at her, Edward asked warily, "What do you mean?"

"Don't worry. I don't think it was obvious to anyone else. It's just the way you moved. You were always aware of each other. And when you left for a minute, when you came back she smiled." Alice's own smile was small as she remembered. "I don't know. You felt like lovers."

"Lovers," Edward mumbled to himself, trying the word on for size. He didn't know if it fit. He didn't know how to define them yet. He didn't know how he wanted to define them. He did know, however, that the idea that Bella was as aware of him as he always was of her gave him great pleasure.

"Don't fight it, Edward."

"I'm not fighting it," he said quietly. Then he laughed, smiling in spite of himself. "I couldn't fight it if I tried. The woman has too much power over me. I think about her almost every minute I'm not with her. When I am with her, I can't keep my hands off her."

"You're falling for her," Alice said knowingly.

He looked up, nerves and the ever-present disorientation that he had stepped out of his life and into a world that made absolutely no sense clouding his momentary giddiness. "Am I?" he asked, sounding much more like a little boy than the grown, confident man he was.

Not waiting for her to answer, he ran a hand over his face again, considering. "Are you sure that's a good thing? Given the circumstances? Figuring out if you're supposed to be with a person is complicated enough without... everything else."

By herself, Bella would have turned his life upside down with her mere presence. He was more enraptured by her with every day they spent together. She was funny, talented, kind and able to hold his attention in a way no other woman had. Alone, Bella would have made him confused, but that good kind of confusion that came with the happiness he'd found in waking up beside her, or hearing her laugh.

But Bella wasn't by herself, and that was what sent Edward into a tailspin whenever he tried to reconcile what he felt for Bella with any thoughts of impending fatherhood.

Edward was well aware that his family was being extraordinarily patient with him. He hadn't missed the glances they exchanged when one of them asked about Bella and the baby only to receive an, "Everything's fine," from him with no other explanation offered. How many times had Esme innocently regaled him with stories of his own babyhood, trying to draw him into discussion?

When Edward thought about the baby as Bella's, it was easy to be happy for her. One way or another, she was a woman he cared deeply for, and he could feel excitement because this was a momentous event in her life. But when he thought about the baby in terms of his own life, it felt like he was wearing clothes that were one size too small.

The more time passed, the more real the baby became. At the first ultrasound she'd gone from being a concept to actually existing in his mind. Then, as he watched Bella's stomach grow, and as she'd let him be more a part of the pregnancy, the imminent arrival of the little person grew more undeniable. Now she had a fairly definite gender.

His daughter.

No matter how he tried, he could not get those words to feel like they belonged to him. The idea of being responsible for molding a human life was still terrifying to him. When it came to the baby, he'd known from the beginning that he couldn't walk away, and yet he found himself utterly unable to walk forward.

He'd never been more conflicted in his life.

Alice sighed, standing and crossing to him. "You worry too much," she muttered, sitting beside him and rubbing his shoulder. "Look. Here's the bottom line. You absolutely cannot help what you feel, and I do believe that some things are simply meant to happen. The fact of life is that it will not happen at your convenience. Denying what you know you feel isn't going to help you one way or another."

She looked at him thoughtfully before continuing. "I know you're scared about the baby, Edward. I know it isn't what you wanted. But... maybe the fact that you feel something for Bella will actually help you. I didn't want kids before Rose, but after we were together... I don't know. It was just different. I can't remember, anymore, what it was like not to want a family with her."

Edward wasn't sure that he was comforted by her words, but he did find a little peace in the knowledge that he and Bella had an ally. One of the reasons Edward had so readily agreed to keeping their as of yet undefined relationship a secret was that he could imagine his family's reaction. His father would be worried, telling him there was so much they had to untangle without adding more string to the mess. His mother would be of little help, probably telling him it would all work out, somehow. Emmett was a toss up. He'd either laugh at him for managing to take the longest, most circuitous road through life imaginable, or he'd call him an idiot. Tanya would come at it with logic, like she always did, and there was nothing about this situation that could be called logical. And Rosalie...

Well, that wouldn't be pretty.

"Why are you taking care of me anyway?" Edward asked softly. His sister was a mixed blessing of pain in the ass and kindred spirit, but he'd always thank her for bringing Alice into the family.

"Because your sister is doing a piss poor job of it," Alice answered matter-of-factly. Then she looked somewhat contrite. "She's coming along. You and she are just so alike - neither of you are as confident as you seem. She's struggling with this whole situation almost as much as you are."

"You're the one whose pregnancy got hijacked. It should be us comforting you."

Alice rolled her eyes, making a dismissive pffft noise. "No need. I'm Zen. Look, Edward, none of us has the power to control life. There are more variables than any of us can possibly come up with. The difference between me and you and Rose is that I don't have regrets. Because I don't live with regret, I don't agonize over my every decision. I do the best I can. If I make a mistake - and I do, everyone does - I pick myself up and learn from it, but I never regret it."

As Edward considered this, Alice hauled herself to her feet again, tugging on his arm. "Now come on. I'll help you find something sexy to wear tonight."

"What's wrong with what I have on?" Edward protested.

"Oh, lord. Just come on. It never hurts to increase your chance of getting some."

"I'm pretty sure the 'getting some' thing is going to happen anyway," he muttered to himself, smiling again and getting up anyway. He knew there was no use fighting Alice.

~0~

As planned, Edward met up with Mike outside the restaurant. Mike was so excited he was nearly giddy with it.

"I still can't believe your girl got us into this. The only thing that could possibly be better is if she could get us on a movie set with Scarlett Johansen." He was nearly bouncing.

Edward was stuck on the 'your girl' bit. He nearly face-palmed, remembering belatedly that he'd told Mike a little about him and Bella.

Very little.

"Listen, Mike...about the whole 'my girl' thing. We're not really out in the open yet," he explained, hoping his editor wouldn't ask too many questions.

To his surprise Mike nodded sagely. "Ah, yes. Yeah, I gotcha man. You wanna keep it on the DL for the time being. I'm with you."

Edward resisted the urge to roll his eyes. But he was easily distracted, already looking and listening for Bella.

He heard her before he saw her, knowing her voice anywhere. He saw her just as she looked up at him. Her face broke into a wonderful grin, and Edward's heart began to beat faster. "You're here," she said, and the happiness in her voice gave him a sense of contentment he'd never felt before. It was all he could do not to go to her and sweep her into his arms for a kiss and then some. Luckily, he remembered quickly that they weren't alone, and merely smiled back at her.

Of course, Edward had forgotten one tiny detail. Because he had never known Bella when she wasn't pregnant, it didn't occur to him to think of it as abnormal. Not wanting to get into the whole mess when they spoke, Edward had only told Mike that he'd started seeing Bella a few weeks ago. He remembered all of this when Mike's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at the sight of Bella's obviously-more-than-three-weeks pregnant belly.

Clearing his throat and hoping to distract Mike, Edward started introductions. "This is my editor, Mike Newton."

Luckily, Bella hardly seemed to notice Mike before Edward called attention to him, and so she missed his rude stare entirely. "It's good to meet you," she said pleasantly, shaking his hand. She pointed to a tall, tan man with longish black hair and a look that bordered on a glower. "This is the best friend you haven't met, Jacob Black."

When he stuck his hand out to Jacob, Edward was surprised to find himself in the aggressive, alpha male hand squeeze of death. His eyes narrowed slightly, and he automatically wondered if Jacob was competition. It didn't escape his notice that Bella leveled a subtle glare at the man before Jacob released his hand.

"And this is Jacob's remarkably patient girlfriend, Lizzie Riley," she said, introducing the red-gold haired, pretty woman standing next to Jacob.

Not a rival then. But then again, Lizzie was possessed of eyes the color of cinnamon - very similar to Bella. Edward couldn't help but wonder if there was more of a history there than Bella was letting on.

Edward tried to push that aside as the rest of the introductions were made. The rest of the party consisted of Leah Clearwater - a beautiful woman whose eyes seemed permanently narrowed, Quil and Embry Ateara - cousins and co-owners of the establishment who had grown up with Jacob, and Claire Ataera - Quil's young and bubbly wife.

Query was a nerd's perfect date place. First, the tables were interactive. Edward had often lamented that fantasy did not match with reality when he saw movies set in the future where drink and meal choices flashed by, and you could operate a screen with just a few touches of your finger. Quil and Embry had brought that fantasy to life. The menus showed a list of ingredients when you clicked on a dish and offered a suggestion box where you could answer a few key question and be presented with a dish that might suit your tastes if you couldn't decide for yourself.

When they had ordered the menus faded away to a variety of game options. The games were separated into a variety of categories. Some were conversation starters. Others were games where the whole table could play at once.

The food itself was heavily influenced by the Pacific Northwest - meaning there was a lot of salmon and shellfish on the menu. They had gotten creative though, and Edward found himself enjoying the smoked salmon spring rolls the menu had suggested for him.

After a dessert of blackberry pie and apple candy, Quil and Embry led them to a different section of the restaurant. This was a bar area where one wall was taken up by a huge screen. To the right of the screen was a blackboard. The idea seemed to be a bar-wide drinking game. There would always be a movie playing - comic book movies, Star Wars, Star Trek and the like seeming to be the preference - with rules on the side telling patrons when to take a drink.

The whole establishment was a fabulous idea, and Edward knew it would be tremendously popular as long as they could keep the technology up and running.

Adding the cherry on top of an evening out with great people and amazing food was the fact that though they couldn't touch publicly, he and Bella were always connected in some way. They'd sat across from one another so that throughout most of dinner their feet played innocently. She would let her toes tickle his calves or he would run his foot along hers. When they were at the bar sampling the wide selection of Oregon and Washington brewed beers - Quil and Embry had brought out a bubbly, tasty, sparkling grape juice for Bella - Bella's hand kept brushing his. And even though they spoke with everyone else, their eyes were almost always on each other.

Though he was having a great time overall, Edward wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that he was being scrutinized. Though he didn't try to antagonize him, Edward caught Jacob glowering at him several times through the evening. It happened several times while the group engaged in the typical getting-to-know-you small talk. Since everyone else knew each other, Edward and Mike had been on the receiving end of most of the questions.

And if he wasn't mistaken, Leah had been looking at him with distrust as well, though it was hard to tell with her. The woman didn't smile the entire time they were there - though Mike tried his damndest to make it happen.

As everyone was getting ready to leave, Edward stole a moment with Bella, leaning in as if to hear her better and instead putting his lips near her ear. She beat him to his question. "Come over tonight?" she asked, her voice in his ear sending shivers of anticipation down his spine.

He all but forgot his intentions to ask her about Jacob when he got her alone, thinking only about how and where he wanted to taste her. Quil and Embry had served a delicious meal, but he was dead certain that no food could be quite as delectable as Bella's skin. He fully intended on being a connoisseur of all her flavors some day.

Edward was still caught up in his fantasies as he hurried toward his car. He'd all but forgotten about his editor when Mike came up beside him.

"So..." Mike began, and instantly Edward tensed. "Your girl is... up the spout, as they say in England."

"So it would appear," Edward said dryly, offering no more explanation than that.

Mike laughed. "You're a better man than I, my friend."

"Why is that?"

"It's one thing if you date a chick who has a kid. But your chick being pregnant with another man's kid is just something that would freak me the hell out. It's like... you're both inside her at the same time," he shuddered.

Edward's mouth opened but no matter how he tried, he couldn't make himself say the words in his head.

It's my baby.

Instead he rolled his eyes at Mike. "You're so classy you could give Fred Astaire a run for his money."

Mike just snickered. "So...what are the odds you could get Bella to hook me up with that Leah chick? She was smoking."

A/N: Oh dear, oh dear.

Thanks are in order to Twilightmundi for beta work.

So. Food aversions? I was preggo for five minutes once and nearly vomited at the taste of McDonalds hamburger buns. Omai. That was odd.