Chapter 13: Family and Friends

A/N: Yet again I must beg your forgiveness for the review reply situation. More on that at the bottom. Read on, read on.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, as much as I want them to be.

Despite the fact he had just seen her not twenty minutes before at the restaurant, Edward still found that he'd missed Bella, and when she opened her door to admit him he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "Hey, beautiful," he said, stepping forward to cradle her face in his hands. He kissed her then, his hands on her waist.

In the short time they'd been separated, Bella had changed. When his hands encountered satin he held her at arms length, really taking her in. She was now wearing a gray, satin camisole that covered her bump and fell just past her waist. Matching gray panties peeked out from underneath the camisole. "Jesus Christ. Look at you," he wrapped his arms around her again, kissing her hungrily as he backed her into the room, away from the door. "Do you open the door to just anyone looking like that, naughty girl?"

She laughed, her hands running up and into his hair as she kissed him back. "I don't worry too much. I think I'd repulse just about anyone but you right now."

Again he stopped kissing her, holding her at arm's length. "Are you being serious?"

Blinking with an uncertain look in her eyes, she smiled slightly, trying to make a joke of it. "Not a lot of guys are into the expanding blimp look."

"Come here," he said, tugging her hand and leading her to the couch. He draped one arm around her shoulders, twirling a strand of her hair around and around. The other hand he placed on her belly, long fingers splayed wide. "You are beautiful. This is beautiful," he murmured against her ear with complete sincerity. Whatever his personal issues were with the baby, Edward had always found pregnancy to be a gorgeous thing. Women were all about curves, and feeling the taut skin of her belly underneath his hands when he was with her drove him as crazy as cupping her full breasts.

Bella tilted her head up so that he had to speak between kisses. Her soft hands on his neck felt so good, and he couldn't wait to be skin to skin with her. "Do you understand how sexy you are to me?" He drew his hand up her body. "Sensuous." He brushed her breasts with the back of his hand. "Provocative."

His movements and his words were eliciting tiny whimpers from Bella. She shifted, her body curling more onto his. She was almost on his lap now.

"It was so hard to keep my hands off you tonight," he growled against her lips. "It's always hard not to touch you."

This time she was the one to stop their kisses. With her hands on his chest, she pushed back slightly. "You understand, right? Why I need it to be just between us right now?" He was shocked at the sudden worry in her voice and the way her eyes pleaded with him. "I mean... I'm trying. I don't know how to do this." She gestured around them, looking uncharacteristically helpless.

All at once Edward was confused and guilty. He felt like an idiot for not realizing that Bella was struggling. Of course she would be. She'd never been in a relationship - in fact, had planned on never being in one - let alone one as charged as theirs was. He realized he'd done nothing to reassure her.

Of course, all of that was hard to think about when she was all but sitting on his lap dressed in satiny underthings.

"Okay," Edward said softly, trying to reorient himself. "Um. If we're going to have this conversation, I need to..." He looked around, thankful when he spotted a knit blanket folded over the arm of the couch. Shaking it out, he draped it over her legs, tucking it up her torso slightly. He simpered at her. "There."

"I'm sorry." She grabbed his hand, threading their fingers together. "Please don't think I'm trying to be a cocktease. I'm just-"

"Bella. We are horrible at talking about … anything. Truly horrible." They both chuckled. "And while the sex is... fucking fantastic... you're worth more to me than that. I … want more than that with you. Just... do me a favor and refrain from any permutations of the word cock?"

She giggled, laying her head on his shoulder, and they talked. They both knew they were in over their heads, but the same could be said for many couples. Edward soothed Bella's nerves about her lack of experience by reminding her that most of his relationships had been barely more than casual - nothing serious.

"Are we serious?" she asked.

He traced the lines of her face with a finger. "This feels serious. More."

"More?" she echoed, confused.

"More," he repeated. "You're more than any of them. More passionate. When I'm not with you, I think of you more than I've ever thought of anyone else." He grinned at her, pressing her nose playfully. "You're definitely more of a challenge."

She smiled and put her head back down on his shoulder. "As if you're not a pain in the ass."

He chuckled, winding his fingers through her hair as he thought. "Bella, I know better than to promise you that we'll work. We really haven't known each other for very long. Right now, I enjoy every minute we're together, and I miss you when we're not."

"No one can promise that won't change," she murmured, sounding sad at the thought.

He tilted her head up with gentle fingers so he could look her in the eyes. "We don't have to define ourselves by anyone else's standards. Not one relationship is like another. Just don't be hard on yourself." He smiled at her, letting the adoration he felt for her color his features. "I'm just as far out of my depth here as you are."

She stretched then, so she could kiss him. Edward moved his hands to the small of her back, pressing her against him. "Thank you. It feels good to talk," she said, pressing fluttering kisses to his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Edward's breath hitched for a moment, and he felt guilty. She was being honest with him about her fears, but his own caught in his throat. He wanted to tell her, wanted to discuss the absolute terror he felt that he was about to be a father when he didn't know if he could be everything a baby deserved.

He wanted to believe that if they talked about it, Bella would be able to quiet his fears and make him feel better the way he had done for her. But given their history, he just couldn't see that happening. It was far more likely that she would freak out.

Simply not ready to lose this new found closeness to her, Edward blurted the question that had been on his mind all night. "Is there more of a … history between you and Jacob?"

She stiffened in his arms and raised her head. "What?"

"I'm sorry. It's just the way he was looking at me tonight. Him and Leah both, actually, though less so with her. I got a very distinct 'back off' vibe." He shrugged, trying to downplay the incident. "It's a guy thing."

"A guy thing?" she seemed amused, and Edward allowed himself to relax. For a second he thought he was in trouble. "There's no romantic history between us, if that's what you're asking. Not really."

"Not really?"

"Well..." she trailed off.

"Well?" he repeated, trying not to sound as interested as he was. She smirked at him. "It was high school. I felt...abnormal for not having a crush on every other boy like my classmates did. Jacob thought he felt something because I was a girl, and I could actually stand to listen to him blather about car parts." She tilted her head, almost wistful. "It felt weird though - when we kissed. Like kissing a cousin...or a brother. So we stopped trying pretty quickly.

"Anyway. Jacob is just protective." She brushed his chin thoughtfully with the pad of her thumb. "He knows you're in a position to hurt me, and he doesn't trust you."

He kissed her thumb as she swiped it across his lips. "Do you trust me?"

Her eyes were slightly hesitant as they met his. "I trust that you don't want to hurt me. That you won't..." She smiled slightly, tilting her head. "It's like you said before. You can't promise what tomorrow will bring for either of us."

He sighed, wishing he could deny her words. But he knew that wasn't the reality of the world. His parents were still desperately in love with each other after over three decades of marriage, and they'd hurt each other horribly over the years. The same could be said for Emmett and Tanya, Rosalie and Alice. And even as much as he loved his siblings, they'd hurt each other as well. Caring about someone was equivalent to giving them power to hurt you and, being human, it was almost certain to happen at some point.

"Such a realist," he said, kissing her softly.

She kissed him back, smiling as she did. "I'm beginning to find that it's good to give in to the giggling, giddy school girl within occasionally."

"Occasionally," he agreed. "And what about Leah? You never talked about her being a friend of yours, but she was giving me some...looks."

"Oh, Leah," Bella said, her eyebrows knitting together. She looked sad, and he automatically wanted to make her feel better. "She just... she had an awful experience with artificial insemination. Long story short, she lost her husband and son to her cousin."

"That's horrible," he said.

"Yeah. She's very jaded. She knows how we...uh...met." Bella blushed, but Edward merely looked at her steadily. "I think she's just wary of you. That's all."

They talked for a little while after that, about clumsy first times and other such things. Bella was particularly amused to find out that Tanya had initially been attracted to Edward before Emmett had captured her attention.

After an hour or so of quiet talking, cuddling together on the couch, Edward became aware of Bella's breath in his ear. She wasn't breathing in a sexy way, but evenly, and when he looked, her eyes were closed in sleep.

He took a moment just to watch her. She was, he realized, precious to him. Was it really just a few months before that he'd been entirely happy with his life alone? She seemed...essential to him now.

For a handful of moments, he considered simply putting his arms around her and falling asleep just like this - like they were an established couple and falling asleep together on the couch was something that happened frequently. But he knew it was probably bad for her back, and he didn't want her to suffer when she already ached.

When he put his arms under her legs, checking to see if she was secure before he lifted her, Bella grumbled and pouted slightly. "Shhh," he murmured to her. "It's time for bed."

"No," she mumbled, her pout deepening. "I want to sleep."

Edward chuckled, lifting her carefully and cradling her against his chest. "You can sleep, sweetheart. I'll carry you."

She mumbled something that must have been an agreement because her arms went around his neck, and she furrowed her head against his chest, settling into his arms easily. He smiled, kissing the top of her head as he moved back toward her bedroom.

As he settled her in the bed, Bella's arms stubbornly clung to his neck, not letting him straighten up. Her eyes fluttered open, bleary and not all the way awake. "Don't leave," she whispered.

He leaned in, brushing her lips with his. "I won't," he promised.

Bella smiled, her eyes already closing again, and released him. Unable to help himself - she looked so beautiful with her hair wild against the white pillow and her face smooth in sleep - Edward stroked the pads of his fingers from her hairline down to her chin. She nuzzled his hand but otherwise didn't stir again.

Stripping down to his boxer shorts and undershirt, Edward climbed into bed, loving the way her body seemed magnetized to his. Even though she seemed to be asleep, she automatically rolled toward him, curling against him with one hand resting on his chest. He put his own hand over hers, just taking in her peaceful face.

In moments like these, he could see a long way into the future. Ridiculous as it sometimes seemed to him - he'd only known Bella for so many months - Edward could see a future with her. He could see cohabitation, and trials, and triumphs, and … as long as you both shall live.

It seemed to him that it was only natural to include a family in that equation. While he could see himself growing old with Bella - something that was odd but not uncomfortable to him - the visions of kids, white picket fences and bikes littering the lawn didn't follow. He stroked her hair, wishing like she had when she was a teenager that he was normal. He held in his arms what so many people longed for - a smart, capable, beautiful woman who adored him and a child on the way. Sure, fate had tossed it at him unexpectedly and out of natural order - and fast enough to make his head spin - but that was the way it was.

Bella mumbled his name in her sleep and provided him with he distraction he so desperately needed if he was going to get any sleep. He let the warm, tender feeling envelop him, basking in the peace he found in the time they could be together, and he finally fell asleep.

~0~

Many people didn't like to bring their work home with them. Esme Cullen was not one of those people. It was a rare season that passed without Esme wanting to do some sort of remodel to one of their homes. To that extent, she had enlisted her children - bribing them with the promise of skirt steaks on the barbecue - to come help her strip the old paint off the little, one room office that stood at the back of the house. She was, it seemed, sick of blue. "Besides," she justified, "the price I pay using oil-based paint is that it fades quicker. It's time to repaint."

That was how Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle found themselves out in the hot, July sun, following Esme's instructions to the letter. Alice had opted out, claiming an advanced state of pregnancy. Rosalie had looked at her mother as if she'd suggested that bell bottoms should never have gone out of style. Tanya had begged off by using her daughters as an excuse. "Someone has to watch the children."

So as the Cullen men and Esme worked at stripping the little building of its previous color, Edward mostly thought about Bella. It seemed like the natural progression of his thoughts of late.

When Tanya came out to serve them iced tea, Emmett had pulled her into a sweaty hug. He laughed boisterously as she protested. "It's okay, babe. You don't have to lie. We all know you came out to ogle this." He flexed his free arm, showing off his muscles. "I am all that is man! You like it."

"Ugh," Tanya smirked at her husband, extricating herself from his grasp. "Now I'm going to have to take a shower." She shook her head as she went to Carlisle, offering him a drink. "He had such a good example. What happened?"

Carlisle glanced at his eldest child and then at his wife. "Hey, babe! You dig this sexy body, right?" He flexed for Esme, and Edward struggled to keep in his bark of laughter.

Esme merely raised an eyebrow. "First of all, Babe is a pig. And I don't even sing that well. Secondly," she looked him up and down, then shrugged. "I suppose you'll do." Without so much as a second glance, she wandered around to the other side of the building.

Blinking, in shock, Carlisle shouted after her, "You know you want me. We have three kids!"

"We had three kids over 27 years ago, dear," Esme called back.

Carlisle shook his head at his cackling sons. "I think she just called me old."

The whole exchange had made him miss Bella horribly. He had always been comfortable with his family, despite being the odd man out. Ever since he and Bella had gotten closer, he found himself wishing she was with him the way they were all together. Established.

Glancing around to make sure his father and brother were otherwise occupied, Edward took out his phone. Grinning to himself, he texted a single word to Bella, hoping she would remember the texting game they'd played when they were getting to know each other.

Turpentine.

Her reply was almost instant.

Didn't you concede defeat on this months ago?

Never!

Turpentine - Brandi Carlile : But these days we go to waste like wine, that turns to turpentine

As he tried to remember the song, his phone chimed again.

Alternately, Turpentine - Elvis Costello : Back when I was drinking turpentine.

Who would drink turpentine?

I know right? They both refer to it in the form of a drink.

The smell of it is driving me to drink.

She didn't respond immediately and Edward wondered if he was bugging her. Maybe she was in the middle of a project. She'd said she was going to be writing this weekend but what she hadn't told him. Then his phone chimed again.

I do have an impressive amount of alcohol at my place. It might be good to get rid of it - you know. Baby-proof the household.

Edward didn't realize he was smiling at his cell phone until his mother cleared her throat. He slipped the phone in his pocket, his smile falling and a weird sense of guilt taking its place.

"So, are you seeing someone?" she asked in her best I-swear-I'm-not-snooping voice.

"What makes you ask that?" Edward returned evasively.

His mother snorted. "Edward, you don't smile like that for Mike or any of your other friends." When Edward remained silent, she looked away, inquiring lightly, "Does she know about Bella?"

Sighing heavily, Edward struggled not to glare. "How is she, anyway? Bella I mean," Esme continued.

"She's fine," Edward said in a dismissive tone. He climbed the ladder in front of him, if only to get away from his mother. "And no I'm not seeing anyone. Mike just sent me a risqué message."

He was hoping that the idea of his editor sending him off-color jokes might divert his mother's attention. It didn't even faze her. "Really, Edward," she continued, staring up at him from the base of the ladder, "is something wrong? You used to talk about her all the time, but ever since you've supposedly become friendlier with her, you've just stopped."

He wasn't sure what his mother wanted to hear. He wondered briefly how she would react if he were to tell her the truth. He'd finally agreed to take Bella to his place, and she'd spent four of the last five nights there. She teased him about his collection of John Hughes movies - so overrated, she'd claimed - praised his collection of Kevin Smith movies - Kevin Smith likes John Hughes, he'd informed her - and had spent literally hours in his study, staring at his walls in awe.

The walls of his study had nothing on them but words. There were quotes from books he'd read. Lyrics from songs he loved. The words were written with haphazard lettering - some small, some large, creating a mosaic of letters interrupted by one window, one door, two bookshelves and his desk. Most people thought the room was too busy or too weird. Bella thought it was one of the most fantastic things she'd ever seen and only wished she'd thought of it first.

Edward wondered if that's what his mother wanted to know, or if she'd be more interested in the fact he'd taken her bent over his desk because he couldn't wait to be inside her after that.

Fairly certain that no mother would appreciate that story from her son's mouth, Edward opted for a more benign response. "There's nothing to report, Mom. She doesn't fight me anymore. We're getting to know each other. Everything is progressing normally with the pregnancy." He kept his eyes on his work, methodically stripping the paint off the building.

"Well, have you talked about anything? Names? Furniture?" She hesitated. "Living arrangements?"

That stopped Edward's brush. "Isn't it a little early for all that?"

Esme nearly chortled. "Edward, the baby is due in November. I know it's only July, but those months will pass like nothing. Trust me." When Edward didn't answer, Esme took that as permission to continue. "You know, I was thinking. I'm going to throw Alice and Rose a baby shower. Why don't we just combine it? That way you and Bella can get the things you need, and she can get to know us a little better."

"Mom, I'm fairly sure that Bella would hate a baby shower. She doesn't like that kind of attention, and they're just... tacky," he shuddered.

"Hey," Esme protested, smacking his leg lightly. "My parties are never tacky." Seeing that he wasn't going to budge on the matter, Esme rolled her eyes. "At least invite her over again. I want her to feel comfortable with us."

Edward grumbled, his mood worsening by the moment. He knew it was irrational, but it felt so much like he had a dirty little secret he was trying desperately to hide. He hated the guilt and shame that seemed to plague him almost as much as he hated the fear and detachment he couldn't seem to shake.

Still, he grudgingly admitted that while it might be uncomfortable for him, it was better for Bella - and his daughter, he forced himself to think the words - to get to know the family more. Frowning, Edward descended the ladder. Safely on the ground, he pinched the bridge of his nose, deep in thought. "Fine. I'll ask her to come."

Without waiting to see his mother's response, he turned and headed into the house, suddenly needing to be alone.

He passed Emmett on the porch with a contrite looking Katrina on his lap. He was patiently explaining why grasshoppers were not good snacks for little girls. His normally completely restless, impatient-as-hell-brother had all the gentleness and time in the world when it came to his daughters.

In the living room, Alice was stretched out on the couch. Rosalie was on the floor, resting her ear against the swell of her lover's belly, obviously speaking to their son softly. Alice was smiling, running her tiny fingers through Rosalie's gold locks.

As he headed toward the stairs, Edward tried to imagine himself like that. While his sister and Alice looked beautiful together, he couldn't imagine holding a conversation with someone's stomach. Even thinking about it felt awkward to him. What was he supposed to say?

Throwing himself down on the bed, Edward allowed for a few moments of wallowing. For the first time in his life, Edward felt... wrong. He should be able to feel something for his … daughter - again he forced himself to think the term. How many times had he watched his little nieces kiss his brother saying, "Love you, Daddy," in little girl voices. It made him smile every time, and yet he had never stopped to imagine himself in Emmett's place.

A light knock on his door distracted him, and Edward swallowed a groan. "Come in," he called. As he expected, his father appeared in the doorway. He waited until Carlisle sat down to speak. "Mom sent you, didn't she?"

"She might have mentioned you seemed a little … uptight earlier," Carlisle responded mildly.

"I'm fine," Edward said flatly.

Carlisle was silent for long moments. "You know we're here to support you, Edward. Having a child is overwhelming under the best of circumstances, and that's certainly not the hand you were dealt. It's okay to just need to talk to someone."

Edward had to force himself not to snap at his father. There were times when he appreciated Carlisle's capacity to analyze and reason with compassion and without judgment. However, it had been a pain in the ass feeling psychoanalyzed as a teenager, and it wasn't any less so now.

He had to admit that he couldn't have asked for a better set of parents. They made mistakes - all parents did - but Carlisle and Esme had always done their best. How was he supposed to tell his father - the man he admired and a nationally known child psychologist to boot - that he couldn't find a paternal bone in his body?

"It's nothing, Dad. I've just got a headache from the fumes, that's all."

Carlisle appeared to consider this. In the end though, he stood and told Edward to get some rest. "You'd better hurry when dinner is ready though," he said easily. "Emmett will use any excuse to snag another steak."

When he was alone again, Edward acknowledged the wisdom in his father's words. He did need to talk to someone, but who?

He wanted his sister. He wanted his twin. She would know what to say. She always did. She would have just the right words to make him snap the fuck out of it. While Edward could take care of himself, and preferred to take care of himself, in most cases, when he absolutely needed advice, it was his twin he leaned on. He had already tried talking to Carlisle and Emmett. While they offered good advice, he wasn't sure practicality was what he needed. Sometimes, he needed someone like Rose to come along and tell him to get his head out of his ass.

Edward threw an arm over his eyes, blocking out the light as he tried to clear his head.

He and Rose were not supposed to go into crisis mode at the same time.

~0~

Bella couldn't quite contain her smile when Edward's text confirmed he would come over as soon as he was free to 'rid your place of vile alcoholic influence.' She saw Jacob arc an eyebrow at her and quickly stowed her phone away, giving him a warning look.

As she looked around the living room at her coupled off best friends - Peter and Jasper with their heads bent together in quiet conversation on the couch next to her and Jacob and Lizzie sharing the recliner - she tried to imagine making a perfect circle of six...and a half.

She would have to invest in a loveseat, she decided.

"Hey Bella," Jasper caught her attention. "Now that things are a little bit, ya know, less drama between you and Edward, you should invite him over to hang with us sometimes. Introduce him to the family," he grinned. "Such as it is."

Bella shifted so that she was leaning back against the couch and propped her feet up on Jasper's lap. "That's a good idea," she said quietly, glad at his willingness to incorporate Edward into their group.

"So what's the deal with this guy, Hells Bells?" Peter asked, leaning in conspiratorially. "By all accounts he is delectable, as far from a deadbeat as they come and you are knocked up with his kid. Am I the only one who sees the obvious here?"

"I know right?" Lizzie exclaimed. "And for the record, delectable is the understatement of the decade. That man... sizzling, Bella."

"Hi," Jacob said, holding his arms out wide. "Right here. Remember me?"

"Oh, baby," Lizzie soothed, putting her arms around Jacob's neck and pulling herself into his lap. "You're buffer than him. And hotter."

Jasper covered a scoff, turning to mouth to Peter behind his hand. "Buffer? Yes. Hotter? He wishes."

Jacob rolled his eyes at Jasper and Peter. "Anyway," he said loudly. He turned to Bella, his gaze lacking the humor that she was so accustomed to. "I think it's a horrible idea."

Bella glared at him under her eyelashes but otherwise said nothing.

"You really don't have a romantic bone in your body, do you?" Lizzie asked, shaking her head. "Boy, you're lucky you have me. Don't ever forget it."

"What's so romantic about a lab mix up and a complete stranger who insists on playing daddy even when he's not needed?" Jacob challenged.

Lizzie made an exasperated noise. "Come on. Can't you see the... I don't know... sense of destiny behind it? Just the what if? What if our independent little Bella fell for the inadvertent father of her child? Think of all the things that had to go right -"

"You mean wrong," Jacob inserted.

"To get them together," Lizzie continued, ignoring his interruption.

"You've been in Hollywood too long," Jacob said, but he smiled tenderly and kissed her gently.

Lizzie sighed and shrugged, looking back at Bella. "Wouldn't that be something, though? If you ended up falling in love with him?"

The word love seemed to resonate in Bella's mind, and she turned it over and over, wondering if it fit this feeling of elation, tranquility, fear, and exhilaration she felt when she thought of Edward. She wondered if it would explain why he could brighten her day just by being in the same room. A fanciful part of her even wondered if Lizzie could be right; that it was not error, but fate that dictated their lives would be twined.

"Yeah," Bella echoed distractedly. "Wouldn't that be something."

A/N: Okay, so - your attention for just a minute. This is probably the last time I'm going to update until after the New Year. I'm writing a Christmas anthology - a series of o/s's in all different pairings and situations - for some of my favorite people in the fandom. I kind of want to have this mostly done by … Christmas. This isn't going to happen, but I definitely want a nice, big hunk taken out of the task by then.

But, the good news (at least for me) is that after the holidays, I should be able to reply to your reviews like I WANT to. You don't know how much I appreciate each and every one of them. I try to answer questions and the like, but please know that your response is a gift and I do treasure it.

So until then, Merry Holidays to you. I can't hope you get what you want because that will decrease the chances of Rob and/or Jackson and/or Kristen appearing in MY stocking, but I do hope your days are merry and bright. Have a happy and safe New Year.

Also - for the curious ones - just so you know, I am not one of those people who can write thirty, forty, fifty chap stories. This story will probably be around 20 chapters. We'll see.

Thank you to Barburella for being a wonderful prereader and TwilightMundi for being a wonderful beta.

So - did your baby daddy talk to the belly? How about the baby's siblings? Anyone else?