Chapter 7 - From Where You Are
So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah, I miss you

Kurt closed his locker and was startled when he turned around and found Sue standing too close.

"Lady Face," Sue greeted him with her scowl firmly in place and her tone of 'I'm talking with you so make my time worth it.'

"Coach Sylvester." He had never been really scared of Sue, and he was actually quite confident that if the woman didn't try to insult him like she did with pretty much every one else, was in part because of that.

"You've been skipping practice and a certain rumor has got to my ears." Sue shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "You know, I've always said that this establishment we like to call school was full of sneaky gays and now that I have the proof, I need to know who knocked you up, Lady Face."

Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest. "With all due respect, Coach, that's really none of your business."

Sue got closer but Kurt simply raised an eyebrow. "No one skips practice, so, if you want to keep your spot on the team, you will tell me who is the sneaky gay."

"I can't be a cheerleader anymore. I was just figuring out a way to let you know, but now that that's been taken care of, I guess we can just go back to ignoring each other."

Sue took a step backwards. "You can't quit Cheerios. Nobody quits Cheerios and surely not my head Cheerleader."

"Quinn is the head cheerleader, Coach."

"I can throw her off of the team, just say the word."

Kurt rolled his eyes and gripped the strap of his shoulder bag. "I can't be on the team and honestly, that's the last thing I want to do right now. I'm sorry I let you down Coach. You gave me a chance when no one else did, and I'm grateful for that, but..."

"Do I look like I'm going to cry because you want to quit?" Sue snorted and crossed her arms. "If you want to have a heart to heart conversation, go find William." She looked at him from head to toes with a glare. "You won't get a second chance, Lady Face."

"Can you stop calling me that? It's degrading. I'm a boy and I find it offensive when you call me that."

"Sorry, this is high school for you, Lady Face. Names you don't want thrown your way. It will only get harder for you in the real world." With a last disgusted look, Sue started walking down the halls.

"I meant it, Coach, I quit!" Kurt yelled after her and saw Sue closing her hands into tight fists. He turned around and collided right into someone. He stumbled backwards but strong hands grabbed his shoulders and steadied him. He looked up into a pair of soft hazel eyes and for a moment, he didn't know what to say. When Puck didn't let him go, he cleared his throat and stepped back trying to ignore him, for a moment Puck held onto his shoulders before letting him go. "Sorry, I didn't see you."

"You ok?"

For a brief moment, Kurt almost smiled at him to reassure him that everything was fine but then his words the night of the sleepover came back in his mind and he simply nodded and gave a cold, "Yes."

Then he turned around and walked away.

When he turned the corner, he found Sam walking his way. He tried to smile but it didn't really work out and Sam looked at him worriedly.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Let's go to class." He slid his arm through Sam's and let the boy talk about the football game on Friday, thankful of not being pressured to say what was wrong.

*GLEE*

Seeing Kurt with Sam or Finn hurt. Sometimes Puck could almost go as far as to say that it physically hurt, like a punch to the stomach. However, all he could do was sit back and watch because it was all his own fault. He had tried to repress that doubt in his mind that Kurt's baby could be his and he couldn't even decide if it was going to be worse finding out that it was his and he had fucked up, or finding out that the baby wasn't his and that Kurt had lied to him. But still, despite not wanting to address that doubt, there was a part of him that knew that he couldn't just push Kurt out of his mind as easily as he liked to think.

His eyes following Kurt whenever he stepped into a room, it was something that he couldn't even control just like he couldn't get his heart to stop hurting at how much he just wanted to be able to touch him.

There had been times in the past when Kurt and he had fought and they had gone for a week without having sex, but now a month had passed since the last time they had been together and Kurt wouldn't even look at him for more than a few seconds and only when it was strictly necessary. Puck was pretty sure that there was no way to fix things between them this time and he hated himself a little bit more every day for it.

He closed his locker and picked up his bag from the bench. The locker room was almost empty, the only guys still there were Azimio, Karofsky, Puck and Finn. Ever since hitting his best friend, Puck hadn't talked with Finn anymore and being in Glee was starting to be unbearable. Kurt would sit on his own, closing pretty much everyone out and Sam would glare at Puck most of the time. Puck wondered why Kurt had told him that they had been together and the only reason he could come up with, was that evidently, Kurt was now with Sam.

Every time they were at Glee, Puck couldn't stop looking at Kurt, at the way he was starting to show, how he'd sit with his hands on his belly and a small smile on his face. Sometimes, when Rachel and Mr. Schue were too focused on another one of their arguments, Puck would catch Kurt humming softly, staring at his stomach.

"We could just throw him in the dumpster when Evans and Hudson aren't around."

Karofsky's voice caught Puck's attention. He narrowed his eyes and listened to the jock talking.

"Good luck with finding him alone," Azimio said.

"He tutors freshmen in French on Thursdays."

"Man, are you stalking him?"

"I'm just trying to figure out a good time to get him alone so we can have some fun."

"I'd like to beat him up too or throw him in the dumpster, but you know what Puckerman said. What if he loses the kid?"

"Who cares about that anyway? Fucking faggot got himself knocked up, so what?"

Puck's hands closed into tight fists and he could feel the rage building up inside him, making him blind.

"I say, we wait for him and we get him. Maybe we could break his arm or something. We don't have to hit him in the stomach if you're so afraid of getting sent to juvie," Karofsky said before sniggering.

Without even realizing he was doing it, Puck dropped his gym bag on the ground and rounded the row of lockers. He gripped Karofsky's t-shirt and slammed him up against the lockers making the boy hit his head against the metal.

"You stay away, Karofsky. I've already warned you once and if you don't want to spend the rest of the year in a fucking hospital bed eating through a straw, you better back off."

Karofsky's eyes widened when Puck's forearm started pressing down on his throat cutting off his supply of oxygen. Puck felt hands grabbing his t-shirt trying to pry him away from Karofsky, but Puck wasn't letting go. Karofsky started turning red from the lack of oxygen and Puck finally heard Finn's voice yelling.

"PUCK! PUCK DAMNIT LET HIM GO!"

Strong arms slid around his chest and pulled him back and it took him a moment to realize that it was Azimio who was holding him.

"STAY THE FUCK AWAY!" he yelled at Dave.

Karofsky slid down on the floor massaging his throat and Finn stepped in front of Puck with his hands held high. "Calm down, ok?"

Puck shrugged Azimio off and picked up his bag before walking out of the lockers. He was still feeling livid and ready to punch the wall. Maybe he had been a complete asshole to Kurt, and had tried to fool himself in not admitting that he cared, but he couldn't just stand aside and let people hurt Kurt or make him lose the baby, whether it was his or not. He heard someone running behind him and a moment later Finn was walking next to him.

"What the hell just happened?"

"He wanted to hurt Kurt," he said quickly, without thinking. He was still too upset to think about keeping his mouth shut.

Finn stopped walking and reached out a hand grabbing Puck's shoulder to stop him. "And you went all death star on him?"

"I..."

"You guys aren't even friends," Finn said suspiciously.

"We're in Glee," Puck said, finally recovering from his anger enough to think clearly.

"But you still threw him into dumpsters up until a month ago. What the hell is going on, Puck?"

The boys looked at one another without blinking. Puck wondered what would happen if he just told Finn the truth, but then he remembered that now Finn was more Kurt's friend than his, and telling him what had happened between him and Kurt, would end up with Finn punching him.

"Nothing is going on. He had it coming." He turned around and walked away leaving Finn behind staring at his retreating back.

When he walked outside, with the cold December sun shining brightly in the sky, Puck stopped for a moment to think about what he had just done. He knew for a fact that if Azimio hadn't been able to pull him off of Karofsky, he wouldn't have stopped. He had pushed Kurt away and it was all his damn fault, and now, all he could do was watching from afar and Finn wasn't there and he had felt the need to do something for Kurt even if it was stupid and could get him into trouble.

He went to his truck and drove home with the music filling the car and singing along to the lyrics of the cheesy rock songs so he could keep his mind away from wandering to yet another fuck up of his life. When he got his house, he was grateful to find it empty, his mother at work and his sister probably at a friend's.

Puck went in his room and threw himself down on the bed. He wondered if Finn would tell Kurt about the fight in the locker room and if Kurt would even care. He took his phone out and his thumb hovered over Kurt's speed dial for a long minute before he finally went to his contact list and called Santana.

He tried to lose himself in Santana's heated kisses but it didn't work. All his mind did, was keep pointing out the wrong things, turning his thought into an endless mantra of girl-too dark-not soft enough-no love-no passion-I don't care about you, I want him...I lost him... When he came, he kept his eyes closed and bit on his lower lip, hard, to stop himself from calling out Kurt's name.

*GLEE*

He was sitting outside Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell's office with no reason at all. He was supposed to head to his last period, but he shared that class with Sam and he had no intentions of sitting through an entire class with him. Football practice and glee were enough already.

He had no idea why he had stopped outside Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell's office since he had no intention of going in there and talking to that strange woman about what an asshole he was and how could he sort out the mess in his head.

He simply sat there and watched the counselor keep moving around the objects on her desk. It reminded him of when Kurt was upset about something and would arrange and re-arrange the stupid bottles on his vanity again and again (he carefully didn't choose to think about what it meant that he knew Kurt so well to know what he looked like upset or angry and for a moment, he wondered what a happy Kurt looked like, but he was pretty sure that he'd look like when he's staring at his stomach).

He was startled when someone sat down next to him on the little bench but when a shoulder touched his, he knew that it was Kurt even without turning around to look.

"Are you thinking of getting help?" Kurt tried to use a light tone but Puck didn't say anything. Kurt started fumbling with his car keys and that caught Puck's attention.

"Are you leaving?"

"Doctor's appointment. 16 week check-up." Kurt only said it because he was feeling the need to share it with Puck. He knew that Puck didn't care and he shouldn't care either, but he loved the boy and he couldn't help himself from sharing something about their baby, even if it was something so little, with him.

But Puck didn't answer. He lowered his gaze on the floor and when he spoke, his voice was cold. "What the hell do you want?"

"What's going on with you?" Kurt asked back.

"Fuck off."

"I don't get you. Finn told me that you almost killed Karofsky yesterday."

"Yeah well, Hudson should learn to keep his mouth shut."

Kurt sighed heavily already feeling exasperated. He had no intention of talking to Puck, but he had seen him looking so sad just staring at Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell, that he had found himself walking over to Puck before he could talk himself out of it.

"Why did you do it?"

It took Puck a minute to answer and when he finally did, his voice was void of emotions. "He wanted to come after you."

"He's always trying to come after me." He sighed. "Besides, I thought you said that you protecting me was a one time thing." Once again, he got no answer and Kurt really didn't want to fight, so he just let it go. After a month of avoiding Puck as much as he could because it hurt every time he thought about the things Puck had told him that last night they spent together, it was awkward to try and have a conversation with him.

"You could have gotten suspended again."

"Doesn't matter."

"It should," Kurt murmured quietly.

Puck just wanted for Kurt to leave because he couldn't stand to have him so close to him after everything that had happened, with all the doubts going around in his head. Listening to him talking about the baby, made him feel something that he didn't want to acknowledge, like hope for the future and love and the chance of being someone different and better.

"Thank you, by the way, for standing up for me even though you didn't have to. I'm always worried when I'm at school even with Sam and Finn being my shadows." He looked down at his belly and put his hands on the little bump.

Puck's eyes followed the movement but he didn't say anything. After a few moments of heavy silence, Kurt sighed and got up from the bench to leave. "I've got to go," he said even though he was sure that Puck wouldn't care whether he stayed or left.

"Are you with Sam?" Puck asked, having finally found his voice again. He didn't want to care about Kurt being with someone else, but he did and there was nothing he could do about it.

He thought that Kurt would answer him with a "What do you care?" or "That's none of your business," but when Kurt spoke, it was to say a simple, "No."

Puck looked up at him and held Kurt's piercing gaze even though he was feeling naked under that scrutiny. "Why?"

Kurt shrugged. "He loves me," he said and Puck looked away, his hands closing into tight fists and Kurt shook his head not understanding anymore what was going on through Puck's head. "And I respect him too much to be with him when I'm in love with someone else." He didn't say anything else but just turned around and left.

Puck just sat there, his head against the wall and his eyes watching Kurt walking away. He hated himself. He wanted answers. He got up and headed in a different direction.

*GLEE*

Rachel was adjusting her headband when the door to the bathroom opened and Puck stepped inside.

"Noah! What do you think you're doing? This is the girl's bathroom..."

"Shut up, Berry." He locked the door and turned to focus his attention on her. "I want some answers."

"You don't get to want anything." Rachel crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked sternly at Puck. "You don't get to ask about Kurt, ok? You were awful to him and I really want to slap you right now and kick you too."

"When did you become his fucking BFF?" he asked frustrated. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment to get a grip on his emotions. When he looked again at Rachel, he tried to look calmer. "You know whose kid it is?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Of course I know it and let me tell you something, he didn't sleep with Finn, he didn't sleep with anyone but you and..."

"Why did he tell you?" Puck found himself asking. "You two always hate each other and..."

"We don't hate each other, Noah." Rachel unfolded her arms and her eyes softened a bit. "He really thought that you were going to let him explain."

"Explain what?"

Rachel shook her head. "Don't pretend that you don't know, alright? Why would you be here if you didn't want me to tell you what you already know?" She stepped closer and for a moment, she almost reached out with her hand but then she changed her mind, lowered her arm and her gaze.

"You want to know what I know? It's what you know too. I know that you two slept together for months," she lowered her voice to be sure that no one could hear them from the outside. "And that he loves you, like he told you, and I know that you broke him at the sleepover." She looked up at him with sadness in her eyes.

"Why did you tell him those hurtful things? He didn't tell anyone besides me and Sam who just figured it out on his own, he's going to let people call him a slut because he won't put you through what all of you put him through and what do you do? You go and call him a whore. You accuse him of sleeping with Finn and God knows who else because you're too afraid to actually be a man for once and stand up for him?"

Rachel closed her hands into tight fists and the need to punch Puck was rising in her again. "He loves you and I think sometimes he hates that he does and who could blame him? What did you want to hear, huh? That the kid is not yours? Well, sorry to disappoint you, but the baby is yours."

"How can you know? Just because he said so?"

Rachel laughed humorlessly. "Do you think that anyone in their right mind would say that you got them knocked up? If anyone needed to come up with a fake father for their baby, there are better options in this school than you." She straightened her back and put her hands on her hips. "Now, move aside and let me out. You shouldn't be talking with me, you should be begging Kurt to give you a second chance to be there for your baby."

Wordlessly, Puck stepped aside and let Rachel walk out of the bathroom. He was feeling so awful, like he had never stooped this low in his life. He saw the tears in Kurt's eyes when he had said that he didn't believe the kid was his, he saw the way Kurt smiled at his baby-bump even though he hated Puck and he couldn't help but feel like punching himself.

Then he finally got his mind around the fact that he was going to be a father, but that he was too chicken to be a dad to a little baby that had no faults. He had been feeling self-hatred a lot lately, but the moment where he understood that he had fucked up the best thing in his life, was the one moment when he hated himself more than he had ever before in the rest of his life.

*GLEE*

"All done, Kurt." Dr. Berry smiled kindly at him and Kurt pulled down the sleeve of his shirt and sat up on the plastic bed dandling his legs over the edge.

"I feel like you took gallons of blood," he joked.

Dr. Berry laughed. "It was for the blood work, and the blood sugar, because you may develop gestational diabetes. I will have the results for that in a few days but you can rest assured that everything is perfect. The heartbeat is steady and strong and the size of the fetus is perfectly normal so, hopefully, there aren't risks for birth defects."

Kurt nodded watching for a few minutes in silence while Dr. Berry put away the vials with his blood. "I was thinking, I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a boy, but when can I find out for sure?"

"Next month we will try and see." Dr. Berry sat down behind his desk and folded his hands on it before looking seriously at Kurt. "So, how are things going?"

Kurt shrugged and started staring at his boots while he dangled his legs. "Everything's ok. School is hard, but nothing I can't handle. Finn is helping me with the bullies along with another glee mate and I quit the Cheerios last month, so I'm stress free now. I still dance a little at Glee, but I stop before it gets too much." He rolled his eyes. "Actually, Rachel makes me stop when I start sweating."

Dr. Berry laughed. "She has taken looking after you very seriously."

"And I really appreciated it." Kurt looked at the man in front of him and smiled sincerely. "I never thought we could be friends, but she's been great lately, she's helping me a lot."

"I'm happy to hear that. You seem better. Some people develop depression during pregnancy and I feared that with your weight loss and down mood it meant that you were slipping into a depression, but it looks like you're better. Do you feel better?"

He thought about Puck and the first answer that came up in his mind was that no, he wasn't feeling any better, but every time thinking about Puck made him hurt, he thought about the baby growing inside him and that made it better. "Yeah, I'm doing better."

"Great. So, the other daddy is Jewish right?"

Kurt nodded and stood up from the bed and sat down at the desk.

"Okay, then we can do some other tests to check for common Jewish related things."

"Great."

*GLEE*

"Guys, alright, stop!" Mr. Schue sighed heavily and shook his head. "You're supposed to spin towards the right, not the left," he said to Finn and Sam. "Let's do it again."

Kurt was distracted fixing his own steps, so he didn't notice Sam spinning the wrong way until it was too late and he fell on the floor. "Damn," he swore when he landed on his butt.

In a moment, Finn and Puck were kneeling on either side of him asking if he was ok. He looked oodly at Puck before grabbing Finn's hand to get back on his feet. "I'm okay, guys, calm down."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Sam apologized.

"It's okay," he reassured him. His butt hurt a little, but it was a normal kind of pain. Then he saw Sam's eyes travel to his hand and narrow his eyes. Confused, Kurt followed the direction of Sam's gaze and realized that he was holding Puck's hand. He didn't even remember grabbing it in the first place but he stared at their joined hands for a few seconds longer before he quickly slid his out of Puck's. He didn't look at the boy when he turned around and asked Mr. Schue to be excused for the rest of practice.

"Yeah, sure, go home."

Kurt declined Finn and Sam's offers to drive him home and grabbing his things, he walked out of the choir room. He heard footsteps echoing behind him and turned around sure to find Sam. He was surprised when he found Puck.

"What are you doing?" he asked while Puck got closer.

"Karofsky said they were waiting to get you on your own so..."

"Puck what..."

"Let me walk you to the car, please?"

Kurt studied Puck's expression for a few seconds before his eyes traveled down to the boy's hands that were closed into fists. He looked nervous and Kurt could almost feel him vibrating with pent up emotions. "Noah, what is going on?"

Puck took a step closer and Kurt told himself not to step back. "Let me walk you to the car," he repeated.

Kurt shook his head. "I don't get you. I wish you'd just fucking talk to me." He felt anger suddenly raging inside him. He looked up at Puck and steadied himself. "One moment you insult me, then you ignore me and now you suddenly act like you care and..." he trailed off and turned around. "I don't need another bodyguard."

"Then let me do this for the kid."

Kurt froze. Puck's voice sounded vulnerable and he felt himself one step from caving in. "Whose kid?" he made himself ask. "Finn's? Sam's? Or the kid of a guy I met somewhere and let fuck me?" He felt more than heard Puck getting closer. He felt hot breath on the back of his neck and he closed his eyes willing himself to walk away but it was just so damn hard to keep staying away.

"Ours," Puck replied. His voice trembled and his hand found its way to Kurt's neck, relishing at the contact of the warm skin. He let his fingers slid through Kurt's hair but it only lasted for a moment though, then Kurt stepped out of reach.

"I told you that night to forget about us." He made himself walk away despite feeling his heart breaking a little bit more with each step.

A/N: I know that this was shorter than the last chapters, but don't worry, I already have the important scene of next chapter wrote down and I can't wait to make you guys read it, so I will try to update as soon as I can. I hope you enjoyed this in the meantime!