Chapter 20: Long Time Coming

A/N: Omg y'all. My life would be incomplete without tellingmelies. Jsyk.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

Bella stared at the ornate arrangement of flowers that sat on her kitchen table with a confused expression on her face.

When it had arrived, Bella had assumed it was yet another gift from Aro. Since the accident, the man had sent a steady supply of flowers and various gift baskets. Chocolates, crackers, candies, bath products… and a number of baby-item baskets that she would actually use.

So, initially, Bella was irritated when she saw the huge bouquet of flowers. She should have known something was off – these were actually quite lovely and well put together. Then she opened the card and froze.

Bella ~ I know there's a lot we have to say to each other and I'm working on it. Apologies and contrition are not my strong points. But please, don't punish Alice because of what I've done. She misses you. ~ Rosalie

After a moment of open mouthed gaping, Bella scrambled for her phone.

"Bella?" Alice's familiar voice picked up on the second ring.

"Hi, um…"

Before Bella could continue, Alice started babbling at high rates of speed. "Bella, oh it's so good to hear your voice. I was so scared you weren't ever going to speak to me again, and I miss you. I know I shouldn't have sent that many Facebook messages, but at first I thought you thought that I was mad – and I was. Kind of. I mean – I get it, right? You and Edward –"

"Alice!" Bella interrupted. "Wait…what? You sent me messages?"

"Yes," Alice responded, sounding confused. "A lot of them. Like … an obsessive amount actually. I really didn't mean to – it's just that I kept on remembering things I forgot to say. And then I suddenly realized I'd sent so many!"

Bella smacked her forehead with her palm as she realized her folly. "I'm so sorry," she began, her words almost running together as they tumbled out. "I haven't been on Facebook since… since… I didn't get your messages."

There was a few seconds of silence on the other end before Alice burst out laughing. "You're not mad?"

"What? No!" Bella shook her head even though Alice couldn't see it. "Mad at what?"

"You know – I'm with Rosalie, and it was Rosalie's little fanboy that caused your fall," Alice said, sounding uncharacteristically uncertain.

Bella sighed. "Alice – first of all, why would I hold you responsible for anything Rosalie does? You're not responsible for her actions anymore than she's responsible for Demetri's insanity." She paused and then continued timidly. "I thought you were mad at me."

"No, I wasn't mad. I think I was the only one who was never mad," Alice said quietly. "I think I've told you before – I think everything happens for a reason. I believe in fate."

Bella put two fingers against her lips, closing her eyes as an unexpected wave of emotion swept over her. "You think it was fate that I told Edward what I told him?"

"Well, how about this: I can see the good in it."

Bella scoffed, but Alice continued before she could say anything. "I wish you could see him now, Bella. Before, he would get all twitchy and uptight if anyone so much as mentioned the baby. Now though – it's a whole new ballgame. Do you know he has a stack of pregnancy books on his nightstand?" Alice giggled.

"Really?" Bella asked on a breath. Her heart seemed to warm slightly in her chest as she imagined him poring over the baby books, his brow furrowing when he came across contradicting information.

"Yeah," Alice confirmed. "He's even bought a few things. Toys mostly but… he's just so sweet about it. He's such a proud Papa."

~0~

After restoring her friendship with Alice, Bella felt a great deal better. Slowly, Cullen by Cullen, she was beginning to think that her future – and her daughter's future –wouldn't be as rife with conflict as she'd originally feared.

Of course, there was always the biggest hurdle to tackle – Edward himself.

It was amazing how Alice's words had given Bella both insane joy - imagining that not only did Edward want his child but he was excited about her impending arrival - and a devastating sadness.

At the very least, Bella wanted what her parents had. Admittedly, her parents hadn't had to interact face to face more than a handful of times after her mother left her father. But they'd always been friends. She remembered them at her college graduation - still sitting side by side - her mother's hand on Charlie's arm as they looked at each other with pride in their eyes.

But that required a level of friendship at the very least, and she was far away from even that with Edward. If he wanted to be, Bella wanted to let him be a part of her pregnancy. They were capable of enjoying those moments together. A few days previous, when Edward had felt the baby kick for the first time, they had a few precious minutes to marvel together before Edward's anger got the better of him, and he'd snatched his hand away as if he'd been burned.

Despite the hurt that welled in her when she thought of Edward's rejection, Bella forced herself to look at the bigger picture. He had to have some positive feeling toward her. Why else send Tanya with the girls to make her feel a little better?

He could just be thinking that your depression wasn't going to help the baby, a pessimistic voice in her head reminded.

Bella frowned to herself. But then, she thought, he'd teased her when they went out. Surely he couldn't despise her if he could still tease her. It had been a little awkward, but up until she mentioned the baby they were faring fine.

The baby was a trigger point, she mused. Like some slight variation of post traumatic stress. Looking back, Bella could see that he didn't want to be angry. She remembered how often he took deep breaths and how, at the beginning of their time together, he made a concerted effort to smile at her.

How were they supposed to find any sort of middle ground when his anger flared, making him entirely irrational? Bella sighed to herself, wishing she'd taken more than one psychology class.

The baby chose that moment to wiggle, making Bella's hand shoot to her belly as she smiled.

Then a thought occurred to her. A plan began to formulate in her mind. Excited, Bella took out her phone. Then she dropped her hands to her sides equally as quick. Was this really a good idea?

Taking a steadying breath, Bella dialed. As the phone rang she stroked her hand over her belly, thinking tender thoughts toward her daughter. She had to try. She smirked to herself as she remembered Belle Watling's advice to Rhett about Scarlet: "You've got to think of the child. The child is worth ten of the mother." She wagered she could withstand a tense stand off if it meant making peace with her baby's father.

"Hello?" a voice on the other end of the phone answered.

"Esme? I need to ask you for a favor..."

~0~

The next day found Bella standing outside Esme and Carlisle's home. She was equal parts relieved and nervous when it was Carlisle who answered the door. Through her talks with Esme, Bella knew that Carlisle hadn't held on to any anger about her decision. Still, she needed to make her apologies because she knew all too well that he couldn't have appreciated watching his own child suffer.

So as soon as Carlisle had ushered her inside she turned to him and spoke before she could lose her nerve. "I um... I'm sorry. To you too. I know my actions didn't just affect Edward."

The elder Cullen gave her a reassuring smile. "Thank you, Bella. I appreciate that - really."

Esme appeared and ushered Bella into the living room, asking if she needed anything. Bella declined and smiled. "Thank you so much for helping me with this. You two are entirely too good to me."

Carlisle's smile was a little sad as he responded. "You work in my field and you realize the ... atrocities that people are capable of committing against the very innocent minds we're meant to mold and protect..." he shook his head. "You're not a bad person, Bella. If you were, you wouldn't be here trying to make amends. And no matter how terrible our mistakes, they are very rarely one sided," he looked at her pointedly, letting her read between the lines that he knew his son played a very big part in the clusterfuck she was trying to unknot.

As they had promised he would, Edward showed up at his parents' house not that long after. The minute his eyes landed on Bella he tensed, clearly on the defensive. But as he had several days before, Edward noticeably took a breath before he said anything. "What's going on?"

"Bella just came over to talk, Edward. Come in and sit down," Esme said soothingly.

Edward narrowed his eyes slightly at his mother. "What, she suddenly can't speak for herself?"

Tilting her head so she could level a steady, cool glare at Edward, Bella stood. "I can speak for myself just fine." She breathed through her nose and let her tone soften. "Edward, you know that we need to talk. There's so much we need to discuss. But we can't do that if we're at each others throats. So... I have a proposition for you.

"I know when you're angry and you bottle it up, it'll only come lashing out when you don't want it to," she held his gaze as she spoke, seeing the guilt that sparked in his eyes before he looked down. "So, I want you to... get it all out. Tell me what you feel."

"Without hurtful language," Carlisle interjected, looking at his son warningly. "It's a good plan, Edward. And I'm going to add this in case Bella doesn't." One side of his mouth quirked up. "Because I'm the father right now, and this is my house, once you've had a chance to air your grievances and talk about them, you give her the same chance. Understand?"

Edward's jaw twitched but after a moment, he nodded once curtly. To further express his cooperation he sat in the armchair across the room from where Bella stood against the couch. He waited.

Esme smiled, apparently satisfied that progress was being made. She caressed Edward's hair lovingly. "We'll be around if you need us."

"Just remember, son," Carlisle clapped Edward on the shoulder, "many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Bella blinked, trying to figure out why those words sounded so familiar, while Edward gave his father the evil eye. "Really, Dad? Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

Carlisle pretended to look aghast. "You've discovered my terrible secret. I'm not really as good at my job as they say I am. Everything I know, I learned from Star Wars." He shook his head mournfully. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you, Son."

Rolling her eyes, Esme stepped forward, grabbing her husband's arm. "Come along, dear. Let's let the kids talk." She pointed a finger at Edward, her eyes completely stern mother. "Be nice," she warned. Then she turned to Bella, leveling the same look at her. "You too."

As Carlisle and Esme's footsteps faded away, Edward's eyes flitted to Bella's. "You had to bring my parents into our problems?"

Bella didn't answer right away. Instead she took a moment to sit, making herself comfortable while she fought to find her patience. "I wanted to talk with you here because I hoped it would make you more comfortable." That she hoped his parents' presence would also temper his more explosive tendencies, she left unsaid. "They're being...really nice to me, but they're your parents. You feel like I want to take your daughter away from you - they don't want that anymore than I think you do."

Edward was silent again. His arms were crossed over his chest, but at least he wasn't arguing.

Taking that as a sign that she needed to make the first move, Bella spoke. "Do you honestly believe I want to keep her away from you?" she asked, one hand on her belly in case he was unclear of whom she was speaking.

He huffed once, tilting his head so it was resting on the very back of the seat. "How do you expect me to have any clue what your intentions are?" His fingers clenched and unclenched a few times before he continued. "If not to get me away from her, then what? Did you want me away from you?"

He shook his head, and Bella's heart twisted with an all too familiar ache. Before she could speak though he continued. "Even if I hadn't … realized what I did…about the baby. Even if that hadn't," he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth like he was an in an incredible amount of pain. "Even if I hadn't been... destroyed at the thought of losing..." He swallowed hard and lifted his head, looking at her with angry but vulnerable eyes. "Bella, after you called, all I could think about was getting to you. I was going insane thinking about how I needed to see you, to see you were okay."

"Don't you understand, Edward?" her voice was pained and her eyes shone with tears she was struggling to keep back. "I wanted you to be there… so bad… but that's why I couldn't have you there." She held out a hand suddenly, stopping his inevitable question. "No. Let's... I'm sorry. This is supposed to be about you first."

She looked at him, her eyes full of apologies because she knew she was about to hurt him again. But she knew that this little re-break was necessary to heal their wounds. "When did you know your feelings had changed about the baby?"

Edward's head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock and fathomless in their agony.

And then it all came out. His words were hard and accusatory, and he often glared at her though he kept to his promise to his father not to insult her.

He spoke of how he felt like he couldn't breathe, how the sense of loss felt so much bigger than his human body could withstand. He growled as he remembered how he wanted to run right out of his skin because he knew if he stopped the weight would crush him whole. He snarled at his remembered frustration when Jacob turned him away and then when Jasper said she didn't want to see him.

He stood, pacing to channel his pent up energy even as the venom in his words drained and he finally told her about the moment it all hit him. Every question that ran through his mind. Every moment he'd pushed away. How he thought he failed to protect them both - Bella and the baby. How in that endless moment he'd realized how much he wanted the days and months and years that had suddenly been ripped away from him.

With every accusatory word Bella felt like she was shrinking, her heart twisting and her stomach churning with a sick feeling. She'd known, of course, that he was horrendously hurt, but every wound laid out for her added to the incredible weight of guilt. She watched, feeling completely helpless, as the rigidity drained out of him, and he slumped back into the arm chair. He leaned forward, his head bowed and his hands gripping his hair as he struggled to breathe right.

For minutes as Edward panted, Bella's head spun as she tried to put borders on the feeling that everything was overwhelmingly and irrevocably broken. Slowly, as she forced herself to breathe deep, Bella reminded herself that he'd done his own share of helping them into the hole they were in. He was far from blameless in this debacle. But now was the time to atone for her mistakes because she'd hurt him far, far worse than he'd ever hurt her.

To that end, she would start with something small: answers to the questions he hadn't thought to ask until it was too late.

"I have five names that I really like," she said in a voice that trembled with barely contained emotion. "But I'm open to suggestions."

He looked up at her, confusion written across his face.

"And I want her to be a Cullen," she whispered, looking at him from under her eyelashes with an uncertain expression.

His eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

She didn't miss the way his lips quirked, as if he was fighting the urge to smile in his uncertainty. Bella nodded slowly. "My… our daughter deserves all the love I… we can provide. I know that you didn't plan for things to happen the way they did; it wasn't your idea for her to be conceived. But you're a part of her; your family is a part of her. It's important to me that you know that… and that she knows that."

He studied her, hope warring with caution in his eyes. He let out a long, slow sigh and slumped back in his chair. "I really want to believe you. I just… don't know how to trust what you say when you would lie to me about something so big. I don't know how not to be angry."

Swallowing hard, Bella tilted her head. "Well, that's not a switch you can flip," she said sadly. "But you've done a really good job of telling me how you feel without lashing out today. Even if you can't just not be angry – which I understand – do you think you can control your temper like you have today? I mean, without your parents nearby." She gave him a small smile, hoping that her gentle tease would go over well.

One side of his mouth lifted, and there was a spark of amusement in his eyes when he looked at her. "That's a reasonable request," he agreed.

The weight that had settled around her heart, squeezing it uncomfortably, lessened just slightly, and Bella relaxed infinitesimally. "Edward, if you love and want our daughter the way she deserves to be loved and wanted, I'm not going to fight you. You know I regret what I told you. I was terrified, and druggy, and… " She shook her head. "No excuses. I shouldn't have done it. I know that. But you know how you said you felt like you failed to protect us?"

Edward nodded.

"Well, when Jacob told me how you felt, I knew I failed to protect her," Bella continued, her voice getting rougher. When she looked at him then, her eyes were harder than they had been. "Because it was a failure, Edward: the way we didn't talk things through at all at first. And then I fell… Look, long story short, I never want to fail her again. Right now, that means I have no interest in depriving her of an obviously loving father, and extended family. I want to work with you to build a life for her. But to do that, we need to be able to compromise.

"So I'm not asking you to let go of your anger. I think, as long as you can control your temper, that it will lessen with time, and time is what it will take to get you to trust me again. But we do need to be able to deal with each other now," she concluded, caressing her belly as she spoke. "Time is running out."

For a long, tense minute, Edward didn't look at her. It was hard for Bella to stay silent, giving him the room he needed to think things through. She struggled not to wriggle in her seat. Finally, though, Edward looked up and gave her the tiniest of smiles. "That sounds more than fair."

~0~

Lost deep in his thoughts, Edward didn't know quite where he was going until he was pulling into the parking lot near Santa Monica Pier. He turned off the engine, and sat in the car, watching bikini clad bodies go by for a few minutes without really seeing any of them.

Grumbling lightly to himself, Edward got out and beginning walking across the sand.

He stopped a little ways down the pier, seeing Alice in the little shop where she worked. Even though Rosalie continuously told her that she didn't need to do it anymore, Alice worked as a henna artist at the same shop she'd been in since she left Mississippi for California. It made sense to Edward. Though she no longer needed to be concerned with money, her job gave her access to a continuous stream of people, and an outlet for her creativity.

Today she was seated, looking profoundly comfortable, with her blue toenail polish adorned feet propped up on her co-worker's - a woman Edward knew was named Charlotte - table with her upper torso twisted slightly so she could lean over her own table. Charlotte was decorating Alice's feet with a floral looking design while Alice worked on a client. It took Edward a moment to realize he recognized Alice's client. It was none other than Jasper Whitlock.

Edward watched them for a moment, taking in the easy smile on Jasper's face and the way Alice giggled every little while as she expertly worked a design along his arm.

It was easy to forget that he and Bella weren't the only strangers that had been thrown together so suddenly. It was such a strange situation to be in - to have such an irrevocable connection with another person whom you'd never even spoken to before. Like he and Bella, Alice and Jasper had created a life together without their knowledge or consent, but they'd handled it so much differently.

Though Rosalie had many misgivings about the situation at first, Alice had been insistent that they keep Jasper close, if he was amenable. Someday, they would have to tell their son how he came to be. While Jasper felt, according to him, no connection to the baby as a father, he wanted to be to the boy what he would have been to Bella's baby – another person to love and depend on. After all, Jasper had told them all once, he didn't think it was possible for a child to be loved too much. But biology didn't dictate relationships. Rosalie and Alice would always be the boy's parents.

Beyond being her baby's unwitting donor, Alice had found in Jasper a soulmate of sorts. Their relationship was effortless and blissfully uncomplicated. Even then, as Edward watched, it was easy to see how comfortable they were with each other. Edward couldn't help but wonder if that could have been him and Bella, if things hadn't gotten so damn twisted.

Sex complicates everything, a sardonic voice in his head snickered. But he knew in his heart of hearts it wasn't even that simple.

Sighing to himself again, Edward walked all the way into the shop. The other three looked up. Charlotte's grin was blissfully ignorant - she had no idea that Edward was under an omnipresent cloud. Jasper and Alice were a little more in the loop and could read the tension on his face. Their easy smiles tightened ever so slightly.

"Hey, Edward," Jasper greeted with forced ease.

"Hi," Edward replied, leaning against the wall awkwardly.

"You're all done," Alice said to Jasper, smiling as she put a final flourish on the design.

Jasper tilted his arm to admire her handy work. "Wow, that's all sorts of awesome, sugar." He leaned over the table to plant a chaste peck on her cheek.

Taking pity on Edward's unspoken need, Jasper got the other woman's attention. "Hey, Char. My Peter is gonna be meeting me for lunch. You want to come with?"

"Meet your man? I'd love to!" Charlotte enthused. She looked to Alice. "You'll be okay for an hour or so?"

Alice waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, I'm fine. Have fun. You'll love Peter."

Once they were alone, Alice sighed and gestured with her chin to the empty seat across from her. "Sit down. If you're going to wallow in my place of business you're going to pay for it."

Edward screwed up his face, about to protest, but then he sighed, all the fight going out of him. He sat down in her chair, offering her his hand. "Nothing girlie," he warned.

"Heaven forbid," Alice said, smirking as she brought her hand toward him. She tapped a finger against her chin and then nodded to herself. Leaning over his hand, she began working. "So tell me truly. What brings you here?"

For minutes Edward didn't answer, instead watching the lines appear on his skin as she effortlessly drew whatever design was in her head. He breathed in deeply and sighed. "I don't know, really."

She looked up, eyeballing him with a speculative expression. "You don't need me, Edward. It's Rose you want," she said softly. "You need someone to talk to."

Edward again didn't answer right away. He wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. His thoughts were too loud, and heavy, and completely confusing. He didn't even know if he was capable of sorting them out for himself anymore. "I can't talk to Rose about this," he murmured. "She hates Bella."

"You haven't had many nice things to say about Bella lately either," Alice pointed out mildly.

"It's just..." Edward struggled to find the right words, then they all came pouring out. "I don't know, I don't know what to feel. When I saw her - when she surprised me at lunch - and I talked to her, it felt for a minute like nothing had changed. She's so easy to talk to. And I liked seeing her smile. I missed her. But then she started to talk about the baby and...and..." He huffed, his eyes tightening and his teeth clenching. "Why did she have to do it, Alice? And why is it just so much worse that she's the one that hurt me? I've never been angry like this. Why does she have this kind of power over me?"

Again Alice looked up from her work long enough to look him in the eye. "You're in love with her," she said simply.

Edward recoiled slightly. "What?"

Alice laughed quietly. "That's funny. You're the only one who'd be surprised to find out that you're in love with her. Believe me, no one else would." She returned to her work. "Even Rosalie knew that."

"Cut it out, Alice," Edward all but growled.

"Oh, come on, Edward. There are worse things than falling in love with the mother of your child," she pointed out. She shook her head, clucking lightly. "It's the answer to all your questions. It hurts so bad because that's what happens when you're in love - you give another person the ability to take you to the most pure, awe-inspiring heights you never knew you were capable of... but it also means that they have the power to cause you more pain than you ever knew was possible. And as for why she did it? Same answer. Because she was in love with you - and you hurt her."

A thousand different thoughts shouted in Edward's head, each trying to come out at once. "I didn't... she is... what..."

Alice laughed then, sitting back in her seat completely. "If I wasn't positive that you're in a real bad place, this would be a sweet moment. I've never seen you so at a loss for words."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand that Alice hadn't been working on. "I'm glad I can entertain," he grumbled. Then his eyes landed on his other hand. Alice had drawn an intricate web design across the entire back of his hand. The 'spider' rested on the knuckle of his pointer finger. He chuffed, vaguely amused. "Tangled web." He sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "What do I owe you?"

"Nothing...if..."

He raised his eyebrow at his sister-in-law. "If?"

Alice gestured over his shoulder with her chin. "Talk to your sister, Edward."

Edward twisted in his seat, seeing Rosalie standing outside the shop, watching them with a pensive expression and her arms crossed over her chest. He took a deep breath, not quite knowing what he wanted to say to his sister, but also realizing that he didn't want to be at odds with her any longer. He stood, and wrapped his arms briefly around Alice's shoulders in silent thanks.

"You want to walk?" Rosalie asked quietly, tilting her body toward the beach.

Edward nodded and followed her out the door. They walked back up the pier and then down the beach a ways in silence, simply reconnecting and retuning to each other. Edward had to acknowledge to himself that even being close to his sister had brought with it a certain level of peace. His whole life seemed to be wobbling and changing all around him - nothing steady and constant - but at least this part of himself was back in its rightful place or soon would be.

"I know I owe you an apology," Rosalie began.

"You don't owe me an apology. You owe Bella an apology."

Rosalie bristled but didn't argue. "Well, Bella isn't here. And I do owe you an apology. Not just because my actions put your daughter in danger... Which, Edward, you have to know that I never, ever would have wanted that to happen."

"I know," Edward said, his voice tight. Then he sighed, and bumped her side lightly with his own. "I know," he said again, this time looking at her so she could see he meant it. There were plenty of things that Rosalie could and would be held responsible for, but Demetri was simply not one of them. Time and distance from the situation had given him the clarity to come to that conclusion. Rosalie couldn't have predicted that venting her frustrations to her hairdresser could have had such dire consequences.

She smiled slightly and bumped him back. "Talk to me," she said softly.

Edward's lips pressed together in a thin line.

"Now that everything is out in the open about Alice and me," Rosalie continued, nodding vaguely at a duo of paparazzo that were trailing them a little ways away, "I have a little bit of perspective that I was missing before. I can be... level headed about Bella now. I promise."

They walked a few paces on before Edward relented. He talked to his sister about everything he had been trying not to burden her with since the whole situation began. From his decision to not leave Bella alone, to his increasing panic about not wanting to be a father, to his turmoil after Bella lied to him and finally about the conversation he and Bella had at their parents' house.

Edward stopped then and sat down on the sand, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them. "I want to trust her, and I don't want to be angry anymore. But... the girl makes me irrational."

With a smirk, Rosalie gingerly lowered herself to the sand beside him, echoing his position before she spoke. "Do you remember what you said when you told me what really happened with the tape?"

Instead of answering, Edward flicked a pebble, watching it fly into the surf. Of course he remembered. He'd told his gathered family what Bella told him, emphasizing repeatedly to Rosalie's protests that he absolutely believed Bella.

"You trusted her, Edward," Rosalie said as if that explained everything.

"I'm missing the significance here. Maybe I was wrong to trust her."

"Don't start doubting yourself now, Edward," Rosalie said with a laugh. "You'll never be able to stick to it." She turned serious again. "You don't trust anyone. Why do you think you don't really have any good friends outside your family? Not that I'm not glad to do it, Twin, but I'm your best friend. There's something to be said about why that is."

"But I trusted her," Edward murmured, seeing what she was saying.

Rosalie scoffed lightly. "It pissed me off to no end at the time. You were supposed to be on my side. It took me a while to realize what it meant."

"What does it mean?"

"You were falling in love with her," Rosalie said bluntly. "Of course you were. Typical Edward. You've dated a few girls, but you would fall for the one that's the most complicated."

Edward rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. "That's what Alice said. It hurts this badly, and I'm this out of control because I love her."

"She's a smart lady, my Alice," Rosalie said tenderly. "Love makes you irrational. That's nothing new. Most of the people of the world have had to deal with it. What makes you think you're different?"

Edward smiled crookedly but didn't respond. Then he frowned, resting his head on his knees as he pulled his legs tighter to chest. He couldn't argue. Hearing both Alice and Rosalie say it out loud made it impossible to deny. Everything fit. Before... everything, she'd made him happier than he could ever remember being.

"Like I said, don't start doubting yourself now. You knew a long time ago that you could trust her," Rosalie said. "That hasn't changed."

At that Edward had to laugh. "You know, of everyone I would have thought you'd be the one just as angry, as me about what she said, if not more so. You don't even like Bella."

"I don't like Bella," Rosalie agreed. "And I was angry with her at first because I couldn't imagine being told my baby was dead. But then... Alice asked me, what if it was me? What if it were my baby?"

"You understand what she did?" Edward asked incredulously. That was the one thing that he couldn't make himself do. On a logical level, he understood that she'd never meant to say it out loud, but he couldn't comprehend how the thought had occurred to her in the first place.

"One of the reasons I've been so difficult about Bella is because I felt threatened," Rosalie confessed. "Motherhood... it's a crazy thing. The baby isn't even here yet and this...protectiveness I feel... it's intense. I saw Bella as a threat to that because she had a power, you know? She had the power to present our situation in such a way that she could make it seem like he's not mine."

Resting her head on her knees, Rosalie looked at him, an entirely sincere expression on her face. "The thing is Edward... there is nothing on this planet more important than my child. Nothing. No one. I'd do anything for him. I'd give up everything I had. Even Alice, if there was some reason for it."

"You mean, if you thought Alice didn't want him?" Edward asked dully.

"Exactly. And after Alice pointed it out, I actually got mad at you. Because I remember all the conversations we've had. You've said you don't want kids from the time you were thirteen years old," Rosalie pointed out.

Again, Edward couldn't argue. Even as they were driving to that first insemination appointment, Rosalie asked him repeatedly: Are you sure, are you positive you don't want this for yourself? The now familiar guilt pooled in the pit of his stomach. "You were mad at me?" he echoed, not protesting because, frankly, he was mad at himself for his part in how everything had gone down.

"Yeah. Because you did trust Bella. If you trusted Bella and you still didn't want to have anything to do with fatherhood, why were you insisting on being part of the baby's life? She doesn't need that - a father who couldn't love her."

"I know that," Edward snapped, knowing full well his sudden anger should be directed at himself and no one else.

"All things considered, knowing how you feel now, I'm glad you didn't walk away, of course," Rosalie said, her tone much lighter than it had been just a moment before. "But I am curious. I mean, you're the only Cullen child who's ever been good at doing exactly what he should do. Why didn't you walk away when that would have been the right thing to do for the baby?"

Edward gave a wry laugh. "It's almost as if I never had a choice. At first - before I knew Bella - I couldn't walk away from a child I was responsible for." He breathed in deeply. "And then... I couldn't walk away from her." Edward was silent as the truth of those words sunk in, saturating every level of his being. Again he laughed, a raw, desperate sound. "You're right. Alice is right."

"You're in love with her," Rosalie completed his thought.

Suddenly miserable, Edward nodded, remembering Alice's words from just a while before. There are worse things than falling in love with the mother of your child.

That might have been true, but that didn't mean he knew what he could - or should - do about it.

A/N: Thank you so much to TwilightMundi for beta work. She's made of awesome.

I have a thread over on Twilighted now! That's awesome. It's in my profile so checkit out when you have a chance. Also, check out the fantabulous new banner that Elliania made me. *sniff*. It's gorgeous. No one's ever done that for me!

So… just how weird are baby hiccups whilst IN the womb? Because that sounds all kinds of weird to me.