Thank you all for the reviews. I love them. *clutches reviewers to bosom*
I have another idea in my head and it has been distracting me like crazy (more than my cat, if that's possible). I'm not sure if I want it to be a fanfic or an original short story on Fictionpress, but it won't leave me the hell alone so I'll have to make something of it.
Don't the Hyuugas resemble the elves from Lord of the Rings?
Ack, tangents. On with the show!
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two
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1) Hatake Kakashi.
Pros: mysterious, brave, a terrible liar, strong, SEXY, kind voice, morally upright, a good mentor, supposedly has a very handsome face.
Cons: obsessed with porn, high-risk profession, lazy as FUCK, always late, terrible liar (note: also a pro), notoriously hard to get.
Overall rating: 7.5/10
"Is that much really necessary?"
Hinata fumbled with the knife, squeaking in alarm as her cousin's cool tone descended upon her like a hawk on a mouse. Hastily snapping the lid on and placing the tub of cream cheese back in the refrigerator, she avoided his scrutinizing gaze and slunk to the breakfast bar.
Neji stood in the entryway to the kitchen, frowning at the copious amount of cream cheese on her toast.
"I thought since the mission is going to be so important, it wouldn't hurt to indulge," she swallowed. "It could be our l-last, after all," Hinata mumbled, bowing her head and hiding behind her bangs.
Her cousin didn't say anything, but proceeded to trudge over to the pantry and pluck a packet of instant coffee. Then, as he rifled through a cabinet, Hinata swore she heard him sigh. Through her hair, she watched him, pondering just what could irritate the prodigy so. Then, as if the universe was answering her unvoiced question, Neji ran his fingers through his hair and they got snagged.
Hinata gaped openly at his back. She'd never, ever seen Neji have a bad hair day. Why, he used brushes imported from France! He kept a special savings account at Konoha Bank just for "hair emergencies," (whatever those are?) and sealed his hair care products in a vault that recognized his chakra signature! Hyuuga Neji, who risked death by Branch seal activation when he refused to relinquish his designer mousse to one of the elders, did not have bad hair days. Closing her eyes briefly, Hinata beseeched a higher power to get her through this day without injury.
Setting a thermos on the counter with a degree of roughness – meaning that Hinata nearly fell off her stool at the sound and that later that day Akamaru would, to his delight, find a glob of cream cheese stuck in her hair – Neji turned the faucet over to "hot" and waited for the stream of water to warm up.
"Ano…" Neji turned to give Hinata a hard stare. Wilting back onto her barstool, she timorously pointed to her left at the full coffee pot across the room.
With his first sip, Neji nearly creamed his pants. This is what Main House beans taste like? Why, those little bast-
Naruto swaggered up to the village gate looking suspiciously cheery, bidding (yelling) good morning to his teammates and the village guards. Shikamaru sighed, Hinata blushed, and Sasuke's chronic twitch reemerged with a vengeance. Some things, after all, never change.
"You're late," Neji said flatly, extending his hand. "Where's your piece of the map?"
Naruto felt through his pockets and produced an intact, if crinkled, piece of paper, which Neji placed on the ground. All twelve shinobi gathered 'round to peer at the completed map.
"Move your fat head, dobe."
"Who the hell is tickling me?"
"Eat a dick, Sasuke-teme!"
"I said, who the hell is tickling me?"
"Naruto! That's no way to speak in front of a lady!" Smash.
"Ouch, Sakura-chan…" Sob.
"Chouji, you're blocking out the sun."
"…That better be a kunai in your pocket."
"Grab my ass again and I will send my bugs up yours."
"Lee, your suit is… sticking to me?"
"IT HAS CHOSEN!"
"Still can't see shit, Chouji!"
"Eep!"
"Oh, sorry Hinata- damn, are those things real?"
"Mm, Ino, oh yeah! Right there-"
All heads turned to TenTen – some looked bemused, some looked eager, and some who shall remain nameless () shifted uncomfortably and discreetly covered their crotches.
"What?" Ino piped from behind TenTen. "I was just… checking her buns."
TenTen patted her hair gingerly and, when the stares did not abate, casually pulled a summons scroll from her pouch.
Everybody turned on their heel to the map.
"They look great, TenTen!" Lee said nervously, sidling to Chouji's other side.
Kiba sniggered and elbowed Naruto. "I'd check her buns any time," he chortled, shifting his eyebrows suggestively.
A moment later, all men in Konoha fell over clutching their 'nads.
Shizune had narrowed the list down to three subjects. As she hustled down the street, she glanced over the note in her hand, and with a slight nod reassured herself that she'd made the right choices. As she sidestepped a rogue toddler and its harried parents, she remained oblivious to the moronic smile drawn out across her features.
She'll have her grandma's blue eyes, and her mother's nose. Her brother will be two years older, taller than his father, and have the same ridiculous hair. God knows a girl couldn't have that hair; she'd never hear the end of it!
A little dazed, she let her eyes wander across shop windows as she visualized graduations and Christmas mornings. She'd never thought she'd be able to step back from serving Tsunade-sama to devote enough time to the non-shinobi aspects of her life, but now-
She stopped dead in her tracks, jaw going slack. An inanimate object could not be that cute. Not. Possible.
Oh, but it was, so much so it should be illegal! She burst into the shop, just to take a closer look-
Minutes later, Shizune left the store feeling considerably giddier. In the bag swinging at her hip sat itty bitty shinobi sandals, too wide for their length. Tiny. Fat. Cute. Baby shoes.
They'll both be ANBU one day, but will take a break to raise a few kids at some point in their lives. One of them will specialize in poisons, and the other will be an electric chakra type and spend all their free time pestering their daddy to train with them.
She stopped at the bookstore Subject No.1 was known to frequent, cocking an eyebrow at the enormous banner above the doorway. Or maybe not.
"NEWEST ICHA ICHA IN STORES NOW!"
It goes without saying that the team left a little later than planned, what with TenTen kicking Kiba in the bollocks so hard that his half of the human race felt it and thus leaving the majority of her teammates temporarily disabled.
She wasn't very popular by the time they reached their destination.
"Bitch," Kiba muttered in an uncharacteristically high-pitched voice, edging away from her.
A dark flag waved menacingly from a nearby treetop, skull and crossbones snapping in the wind. The twelve ninja stood in more or less of a circle around the landmark indicating they had arrived at the right place.
Shino began to sweat behind his collar. How did they know? Inconspicuously forming a seal, he whispered "Release," only to find to his escalating horror that this was no illusion. No no no-
A parrot flapped overhead, cackling about a cracker or some nonsense.
"You can't be serious," Ino arched an eyebrow. "X marks the spot? What is this, a joke?"
Shikamaru hunched forward and rubbed his hands together, squinting one eye at the fat red lines. "Arr, here be trouble."
And then the ground fell out from under them.
"Kazekage-sama!"
Gaara looked up from his desk and blinked in acknowledgement.
"Our spies in Konoha have some unusual reports. We don't know what to make of it at HQ."
Blink, blink.
With that approval, the jounin tentatively set the report on the desk and stepped back quickly as the redhead scanned its contents.
Blink, blink. Blink. Blink…. Blinkblink. Then, as an afterthought: "And bring me some mochi."
"Ah- hai, sir."
There was ink everywhere – blotted on the floor, smeared on the wall, dried in her hair, spread across her forehead – and she could see more of it on the kitchen floor through the hole she must've punched through her wall at some point.
She recalled bemoaning the trials of being the Hokage to some poor vendor at the music festival – walking home with flushed cheeks and only a little bit of stumbling (she had a reputation to consider, after all) – crushing some unsuspecting chuunin to her breasts as she wallowed in self-pity at Ichiraku's – getting tired of fumbling with her keys and deciding to simply pummel through her front door instead – but then, nothing.
A cool breeze toyed with the rats' nest in her hair. Squinting, she saw an aperture where her front door should have been. A few students walking to school tittered amongst themselves at the sight of her, and the elderly woman who ran the paper goods shop down the street waved cheerily. A moment later, Tsunade realized with discomfort that she was still in all her clothes from the day before, yet her bra seemed to be missing in action.
Oh dear.
Tsunade clutched her head and moaned, then shuddered at the noise and dug deeper into the sheets. Her brain felt as if it was ready to burst from her skull, and it felt like she had a sock where her tongue should have been. Shizune, she whimpered internally. What happened last night?
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Face it. Baby shoes are the cutest. Perhaps more so than the infants themselves?
You know, I'm really not digging the uploader. It messes with my story breaks and will delete words on a seemingly random basis (not very many, thankfully). Hmm. If there are any CRAZY typos that I've missed that really detract from the story, drop me a line and I'll patch it up. [:
I've opted for little dashes instead of linebreaks. Most of you didn't seem to mind them, but I found the linebreaks to be rather disruptive while reading. These will do the job with less distraction, I hope.
…I'm probably just being obsessive/compulsive about this. :S
Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I hope you're enjoying it. :3 Ta ta for now.