Chapter 4 – Saving Each Other

Novak's POV:

I am on my way back from Baltimore; I didn't get any good Dope! Everything I bought was fake and everything I knew was real I couldn't get because I was white. I look in the mirror in Bam's car, which I borrowed in order to get to Baltimore, I look like crap. I haven't showered in a few days and my hair is oily and I am starting to get wrinkles. I don't even know why I bother trying, I've gone to rehab God only knows how many times and I am still going back and forth to Baltimore trying to score. I am a failure.

It is midnight and I finally arrive back to Castle Bam. I enter the house and walk by everyone's room to make sure they are asleep. Bam, Ryan, Raab, Dico, Ape, Phil, and last Kelsey. I open the door to her room and peer inside, she is sounds asleep. I whisper the words, "I'm sorry." before I close the door and walk to the bathroom.

I look in the mirror of the bathroom; all I can see is a drug addicted failure. Why was I even put on this earth? I haven't caused anything but trouble for anyone I know. I can't handle this anymore. All I can hear is this voice in my head saying that I am not good enough or that no one actually cares about me.

I reach into the medicine cabinet and pick out an object I was so familiar with; my razor blade. I roll up the sleeve to my denim jacket, revealing the previous slashed across my wrist. This time is it though; I am through with being in everyone's way. I drag the blade across my arm until the warm crimson liquid comes rushing out. I do it more and more until my whole arm is tinted red. I can't help that I start to cry and my emotion just pour out of me. I go to the corner of the bathroom and sit and wait for the blood to run out.

Kelsey's POV:

Something woke me up, I look to my right where my alarm clock is. It's 12:30am? What could have possibly woke me up? I go over to the side of my bed, put my shoes on, and then I go out the door and into the hallway. I can hear crying coming from the bathroom, I instantly recognize this person's voice. I go running over to the bathroom and the sight I see is almost unbearable. My best friend is sitting on the blood-soaked floor, his arm covered in blood and tears streaming down his face.

He managed to speak in between sobs, "I…need help…please." I wasted no time running over to him, picking him up and taking him to the sink. I ran the water on his arm and saw the six fresh blade marks, along with some old ones that have healed. I grab the bloody razor blade sitting on the sink and flush it down the toilet. I then go back to the medicine cabinet where Novak is still standing and open it searching for gauze. Once I find it I quickly wrap it around his arm tightly and make sure that nothing is bleeding through.

Once I finish stopping the bleeding, I throw my arms around my best friend and we sit in the corner with him in my arms. I rock him back and forth in a soothing motion and he cries on my shoulder. I don't plan on letting him go anytime soon, just as he probably doesn't plan on letting me go anytime soon.

"I'm so sorry Kelsey."

"Don't be; just promise me you will never try this again. I am not ready to lose you yet. We're best friends!"

"No, you're more than a best friend. I can't imagine anyone who is any better than you,"

As I sat there with Novak in my arms, I was worried that someone might walk in and see us. I am not afraid that someone will get the wrong idea, I am afraid they will send Novak away to a mental institution or something and that is the last thing I will ever let happen. Another hour passes by and we are still in the bathroom. Novak is clinging to me for dear life and he starts to doze off. I can feel his grip on me decrease and when I look down at him, I see that he has fallen asleep on my shoulder. That's okay with me, I would stay here all night for him and I will. I lean my head back against the wall and drift off into sleep.