I sat on the steps in the Fire Lord's summer home. It was hot, and everyone was preparing to go down to the beach. But after the night at the Ember Island Players performance, I didn't want to go anywhere. I gave a hefty sigh. Seems I've been doing that a lot lately.
I ran my hands along the exposed skin of my back. It was rough and hurt, but Katara's healing sessions had helped tremendously. And she had told me that the sea would help to cleanse it too. Toph sat down suddenly next to me and I jumped.
"Wow Firefly, you're a little on edge. You've been like that lately though. What's up?"
I stared at the blind earth bender for a moment.
"You have to say something soon. Is it about Sokka and Zuko?" She asked.
I tensed and she laughed. "How did you know?"
"Because when I mentioned them earlier, your heart started racing."
I stretched and fidgeted with my fingers.
"You love Zuko right?"
"Yes."
"What about Sokka?" She questioned.
I was silent for a minute. "I don't know."
"They both care about you."
"I know."
It was quiet again. I shuffled my feet.
"This is really bothering you." Toph commented.
I nodded, and then replied "yes" when I remembered she couldn't see me. Toph stood and brushed her hands off as if she had finished her job.
"Well, this is something you'll have to work out for yourself." She said, and the words sounded awfully familiar.
I rested my head between my knees in frustration.
"Thanks Toph." I grumbled. She chuckled.
"You know, Hikari, you can't have them both. One of them is going to get hurt, no matter which route you take. You and Zuko share some things that many people don't. If you choose him, Sokka will be hurt. But Sokka knows this.
It's like the opportunity to see a lion turtle. If you don't seize the chance, you may never get another one. If you sit here moping around, you're all going to end up hurting." Her footsteps brushed the stone as she walked out of the courtyard. The door slammed.
I huffed. Was she telling me to choose Zuko?
{BURNING WATER}
The sun beating down on my back made my scabs itch. My fingers twitched and I continually rubbed my back to scratch it.
"You're going to tears those scabs if you keep rubbing them." Zuko murmured, slipping his shirt over my head. I wriggled through the hole, helping him pull it over my bathing suit. His shirt swallowed me, and when I looked down I realized that it made me look as if I had nothing but his shirt on.
I cleared my throat, embarrassed. When we caught up with everyone else on the beach, Toph waggled her eyebrows at me. She had something to do with this. I glanced at Zuko only to see him eying me up and down. I could feel my face flush. Maybe there was something different about my relationship with Zuko. I was never this flustered around Sokka.
A blanket had already been laid out, and I plopped down on it. I didn't feel like getting in the water quite yet. Zuko sat next to me, his leg touching mine and his arm around me. My heart thumped against my ribs. If I keep over thinking this, I'm going to freak out.
Sokka was sitting in the sand several feet away, pouting. I swallowed hard.
"Are you ok?" Zuko asked. "You look red. Are you hot?"
"Uh, yeah. Let's go swim." I hopped up, lifting the shirt over my head.
"Uh-uh Hikari, keep that on. I don't want the sun to irritate your wounds." Katara called from the waves. I hissed in response.
"Are you coming?" Zuko asked, already halfway to the water's edge.
"Yeah!" I dashed to his side. "Are you sure it's ok to keep your shirt on? I mean, I don't want you to not have a shirt or anything 'cause I still have to wash the others. And it wouldn't take me very long to run in and get another and I don't mind it'll only take a second—"
Zuko intercepted my words. "It's ok Hikari. I don't want the burns to get any worse."
I nodded, ashamed of my leakage of words. Zuko only grabbed my hand and led me to the water. I stopped at the edge, waiting for the waves to tickle my toes. The water was surprisingly warm as it washed over my feet. I waded out, Zuko still holding my hand.
"Soak your back!" Katara shouted. I huffed, sliding onto my knees, thus submerging my back. I looked up at Zuko, and realized what kind of position I was in. I shot back up immediately, stalking back to shore.
Katara shouted some more, but I shouted back. "I don't want to be in the water anymore!" I flopped back onto the blanket. Zuko's shirt was now clinging to me in the most uncomfortable way. This was not turning out to be as fun as I thought it would be.
Toph slapped my arm, and I jumped. I was grateful though that she had known not to slap my back.
"Lighten up, Firefly. I just wanted to help you out." The blind earth bender smiled. She does want me to choose Zuko. "Don't worry, Sokka will understand." I stared at her dumbfounded as she walked back to her miniature Ba Sing Se made of sand.
{BURNING WATER}
What have I gotten myself into? I dug my hands into my hair in exasperation. I was pacing back in forth in front of Sokka's room. I swear, if it was anyone else they would have noticed me by now. I attempted to smooth my hair. What was happening to me? I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. He opened it not a second later, as if he was in a similar dilemma as me, wondering if he should go find me.
"Can I…come in?" I asked. Sokka nodded.
I sat on the edge of his bed, trying to relax. Every muscle in my body was tense with anxiety.
"I—" We both started at the same time.
"You first." I whispered.
"Hikari…" He pulled me off the edge of the bed, "I love you."
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It was an awkward silence for some time.
"Sokka, I—" I sighed.
"I get it." Sokka murmured. "You love Zuko." I nodded my head mutely. I started to pull away from him, but he wrapped me in an embrace. "Just let me hold you."
I nodded again, unable to find any words. I buried my face in his chest, not wanting him to see me cry.