Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth: Special fangs (geddit!) to everyone who asked for more chapters. I'm raising my glass to you. Also, I apologize to anyone who I didn't reply back to their reviews. I swear I'll get around to it. So stop flaming mah story preps!

(I'm really good at wasting time, I think lyrics need to rhyme, and you're not asking, but I'm trying to grow a moustache.)

As I majestically walked through the school doors, I stomped my black leather boots that that the totally hot gay dude's face on them. I tightened the strings on my black leather trench-coat as I stood in front of the glee club door. I had an innuendo announcement to make that would change everything. I quietly pulled out a small, black mirror out of my pocket to check that my makeup was at goffick extreme. I had decided to be born this way (even if Lady Gaga was totally mainstream and a pozer bitch-face) and paint a black skull on my face. I was so goffick that I scared a stupid brat muggle that lived next to my coffin, so I flipped her off. I sexily opened the door and walked fashionably to stand in the centre of the room. Everyone stared at me like I was the hottest person on the planet. Why! Why can't I just be horribly ugly like everyone else in the club! It's a curse, just like Vampire Potter's scar that we turned into a pentagram, because we're Illuminati like that. Yeah, bitches.

"Where did you even come from?" The black girl who usually sat next to my gay guy asked, conspiratorially.

"The seventh layer of hell." I hissed at her and then I flipped her off.

"You make me feel like praying!" The supah-hot gay dude that looked just like Gerard Way started, "I am one-hundred percent an atheist, but I want to pray for you. You really must be possessed by the devil to even consider doing that to your face."

"That's why I'm here." I whispered seductively. "The devil got me pregnant, so I'm having a baby." I awesomely threw my trench coat to the floor and pointed at my stomach. "See?"

"I don't see anything." He rolled his eyes at me.

"THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A MUGGLE!" I screamed anxiously and threw myself to the ground. "YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT I'M AWESOMELY HOT AND YOU'RE JUST MUGGLE BITCHES."

"You syphilis-carrying gutter slut." The blonde-haired Paris Hilton wannabe with the green eyes said. "Don't you have an asylum to haunt or something."

This little whore slut bitch thought that she could insult me, so I got right in her face and screamed prettily. "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT? You're just jealous that I'm super hot and a witch and a vampire and your just a pozer pedo! AND SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!"

"Oh. My. Gaga."

"It's official 'Hug-A-Bitch Day' and OMFG, gay guy, I totally saw you talking to that pedophile outside of the school yesterday. Can I suck your blood?"

"Yo Kurt, dude, what pedo?"

"I totally have no idea what she's talking about!"

"Yeah you do," I interrupted them hotly. "You were having sexual intercourse in the forbidden forest because you loved him!"

Everyone then started screaming about mental images so I started screaming over them, and I walked up to Kurt and started singing Like It's Her Birthday by Good Charlotte to him.

"Stop singing!" He laughed menacingly. "You sound like a, like an ignorant mother fucker!" Next thing I knew, I was hit in the head by something hard, and everything went black.

(Chris Colfer's first word was 'Oprah'. I think I may love him even more now.)

Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth: Well here's the next instalment. The chapter after this will probably be the last one, and it's not gonna be from Ebony's (or is it Eboby, or Tara) point of view. Please review. Do it for the Hufflepuffs! I apologize for the all around suckiness of this chapter, but eh!