Chapter Twenty Seven: Don't Hold Me Down
"This whole, let's talk about the evil things we're going to do to Bill Compton, is great and all, but we have company guys." I nodded at the shuffling in the forest. I couldn't be sure if they were vampires or werewolves, but either way, they were stalking us, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.
"Chow, take Bill." Godric ordered Chow. "You know where to take him."
Chow stepped forward, wiping off the blood on his hands onto his pants before grabbing the unconscious vampire and tossing him over his shoulder. In a blink of an eye, he was gone, running down the driveway and to god knows where. I suspected Fangtasia, considering the basement was the perfect place to hold anyone captive. The walls were soundproof, and I didn't even want to think of the torture devices that were hidden down there. I tried not to spend any time down there if I could help it. It reeked of blood, and just walking passed the door made me want to vomit.
"Pam, take Sookie to Merlotte's." Godric directed, looking between the two blondes. "And go quickly."
Pam raised an eyebrow, as if it argue, but chose against it and without uttering a word she grabbed Sookie by the arm and tossed her over her shoulder much like Chow had done with Bill. Sookie opened her mouth to object but they were gone in mere seconds, Sookie letting out a yelp of surprise. I snickered before turning towards Godric, a worried expression on his face.
"Godric?" I frowned. "Are you..."
"You're bleeding." He stated, stepping forward and raising a hand to swipe away a few drops of blood as they fell from my nose. I raised an eyebrow in surprise, having not realized that I had been bleeding at all. But then again, I had used more of my mental strength tonight than I ever had before. It was different than just setting a vampire on fire, or burning a Were from the inside out. I used every single ounce of mental and emotional power I had tonight to help Sookie, and it was beginning to take a toll on me.
As if adrenaline alone had kept the full after effects from hitting me initially, my legs began to shake, my form wobbling to the side. Godric quickly caught me in his arms at the same time that a group of vampires came bursting out of the tree line, dressed much like they had when Sophie-Anne's safe house had been attacked. My eyes were wide, and though my vision was blurry with invading black dots, I could spot the guns in their hands clearly. I didn't need to be an expert to guess that those bullets were either wood or silver, though it didn't matter which. They could both hurt Godric, and I couldn't let that happen.
"Godric..." I whispered out as he lifted me up into his arms, his hold on me tightening.
"I know." He returned the whisper, and as I looked up at him, I saw the fear crossing his features. We were trapped. If Godric took one move to take off into the night sky, we would be shot. And just my luck, these vampires would have terrible aim and would hit me.
"Stand down." One of the vampires stepped forward, his gun lowering as his fangs extended. "You're surrounded."
Godric's own fangs extended with a click, and I could feel his body vibrating with anger. I looked between Godric and the vampire, making a sudden rash decision.
"You might as well shoot us, we're not surrendering." I called out to them determinedly.
"Elizabeth." Godric growled as he shook his head down at me.
"Trust me Godric." I squeezed his hand before setting my focus on the vampires before us. My head was swimming, and my vision was growing blurrier by the second. But the only way out of this situation was to deal with these vampires one way or another. And the only way we could do that was to use our special little weapon, and that just happened to be me.
"Don't." He must have known what I was thinking about doing and tried to reason with me.
"I'll be fine." I assured him before I insisted he set me down.
Godric sighed and hesitated, but after a moment, he set me back on my feet, his one arm around my waist to steady me. I locked eyes with the vampire that seemed to be in charge, my own eyes narrowing as my fists clenched at my sides.
"So are you pansy's going to do anything or what?"
A few vampire's tensed and looked like they were about to fire, but the leader of the group held up his hand to stop them.
"The girl is to live."
"I thought she couldn't die." One piped up.
A smirk crossed the leader's lips as he considered this. "Well I guess we'll just have to see if that's true. Men, at the ready."
My entire body tensed as I realized what was about to happen. If I couldn't manage to stop them, then it was Godric's life that was in danger, not mine. I shuffled to the side to cover Godric's heart, to shield him as best as I could just in case I was to fail. Godric looked like he was about to just grab me and take his chances, but I held onto his arm tightly to stop him. I could do this. I knew I could. I had already used too much power tonight, but I knew my powers well enough that when I was angered, when those I loved were in danger, I knew no limits.
"Fire."
Everything happened so fast. I heard the sound of the guns firing before anything else, and it was the sound that caused my hands to fly up in the air suddenly, my eyes squeezing shut as I braced myself for the impacting bullets. The guns fired again and again, but still, I felt nothing. I was still just barely able to stand on my own two feet, my back pressed against Godric's chest. I didn't feel an ounce of pain; I didn't feel the paralyzing agony of bullets lodging into me, much like what had happened years ago in Dallas. I slowly opened my eyes and I gasped when I saw what I had done. There, absolutely still in mid air, was every single bullet that had been fired. Half of them were wooden, while the other half had been silver. I looked into the faces of every single vampire, even sneaking a glance up at Godric, and all of them were amazed that I had been able to stop the lightening speed of a bullet. I was amazed with myself.
Of course, I was feeling it only moments later. Both my legs gave out on me as my eyes were forced shut. I felt myself being lifted back into Godric's arms as suddenly, he took off at the same lightening speed as those bullets had travelled; only I was certain he was faster. The guns were now empty of ammo, and absolutely no vampire was fast enough to follow Godric before he took off into the night sky. I sighed in relief before I allowed my consciousness to slip away from me.
"That was a very stupid thing to do." Godric paced before me in his bedroom as I slowly came to, my eyes fluttering open. "That was incredibly stupid."
"Sorry." I groaned out as I lifted a hand to my pounding head. "Ow."
"You have limits, Elizabeth." He was at my side in an instant, his fangs extending and biting into his wrist. I tried to shake my head to refuse his blood, but he wouldn't have it, and pressed his bloodied wrist against my lips. I sighed but lightly licked up the blood and swallowed anyways. Godric waited until I softly began sucking on his wrist before continuing. "Even you have limits to your powers and strength. You haven't trained your mind to be able to use such power before. We've practiced with your telekinesis, but never at this level. You may be able to create a fire with a snap of your fingers, but your mental abilities will drain you twice as fast."
"I know, Godric." I mumbled as I pushed his wrist away, wiping the blood from my lips as I watched his wrist heal. "But what else was there to do? The moment you took a step off of that porch to fly, they would have shot at us. We were screwed."
"Even if that were true, you still shouldn't have done something so extreme and dangerous." He scolded me before settling down beside me on the bed, pulling me next to him. I gladly curled up at his side, laying my head on his cool chest. "It was incredibly stupid."
"I know." I sighed, gazing up at him through hooded eyes. "Did everyone else get away safely?"
"Yes, Sookie is safe with Sam, and Pam has joined Chow at Fangtasia."
"So he did take him there." I tightened my arms around his torso. "Are you going to kill him?"
"Yes." He replied honestly. "Once we question him thoroughly, we will kill him."
"Good. Make sure he's in pain, he deserves it."
"I'll ensure it." Godric chuckled lightly. "Just as long as you promise to take it easy. And allow me to help you practice your powers. I spent enough years with Kyra to know what you're capable of."
"I'm not about to say no to that." I admitted, smiling up at him. "You're always saving me, Godric."
"I wish I wasn't the one who had to do it." he stroked my hair.
I pulled a face. "You're talking about Eric."
"He should be the one caring for you. He should be the one at your side. I will always be here for you, but it should be him." his expression hardened.
"I felt him tonight again." I frowned as I remembered the many emotions that had shot through me that hadn't belonged to me at all. Even now, while the bond was closed slightly, I could still feel him. It felt as if his presence was looming over me. In a way, it was almost irritating. I just couldn't get away from him. I don't know why he suddenly decided to open up our bond after god knows how long, but he just had to do so at the worst of times. How was I supposed to be able to focus, to concentrate on this war ahead of us if I had to deal with another set of emotions? And more importantly, Eric's. Maybe if it had been Godric, it wouldn't have been too much of a hassle. But with Eric, it caused me to think of the blonde, it distracted me, and I couldn't have that. Not when it wasn't my life on the line. Because I couldn't die. But everyone I cared about, they easily could.
On the other hand, a small part of me liked feeling connected to Eric. I wasn't sure where in the world he was right now, and I knew it couldn't have been healthy, but that small part of me liked feeling as if he was close, as if he was right next to me all the time. I still loved him, and it had been obvious when I had accidentally slept with Quinn that I could never be with another man, not anytime soon anyways. And I honestly wasn't sure if I did want to move on. That wasn't healthy at all; especially since only weeks ago I had been certain I wanted to rid my life of him once and for all. But maybe I was just lying to myself. Maybe I was just trying so hard to make my life a little bit better that I shoved my feelings away in a box and locked it up deep within me. But now it was breaking free and there wasn't a whole lot I could do to stop all of these feelings.
"If he were to ever come back, what would you do?" Godric asked curiously.
"Honestly? I'm not so sure." I admitted as I sighed and pushed myself up so I was sitting beside Godric, our gazes meeting. "Part of me would want to run in the other direction, but..."
"You would want to see him." Godric finished for me, the tiniest smile on his face at the prospect of Eric and me ever getting back together. I knew that was all he wanted. Godric and I, we may have had a little fling in Chicago, and I may have been confused years before that, but as I sat there in Godric's bed now, I knew for certain that nothing would ever amount to anything between us. I loved him, but never in the same way I did with Eric, and I was sure it was the same for Godric. He loved Kyra more than anything, more than he could ever love me. We just had a few moments of weakness, of confusion. But we were both clear now that our relationship was strictly friendship. I loved Eric too much for it to be anything more.
"I hate myself for saying this, but yes." I bowed my head in shame for my answer. "I hate him, he hurt me so much, Godric. But I...I'm always going to love him. He's my soul mate. He's my other half. And if he was to suddenly just show up, I think a part of me would be happy. Because as much as I say that I'm moving on with my life, there's still that part of me that hopes he's come back to me."
"There's no shame in wanting that." he lifted my gaze, clasping a finger under my chin. "You love him, and that's never anything to shy away from."
"But he just hurt me so much, Godric." I reminded him.
"He knows the choices he made affected you greatly, and I truly do think he would go back in time and redo all of his mistakes."
"Do you really believe that though?" I raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like Eric at all."
"He loves you, whether he decides to embrace that or not. He'll always love you. He can hide for centuries, but that fact will always remain. It's not just a switch you can turn off." He caressed my cheek. "Just like no matter how hard you try, you cannot stop loving him. He hurt you, and you may never truly forgive him, but your heart will always belong to him, and to him alone."
He was right, as always.
"Do you think he actually will ever come back, Godric?" I wondered. "I sometimes think about it, and I just don't know."
"I think he will." He nodded. "We just have to be patient for that day to come."
"You know me, Godric. I'm not a patient person." I rolled my eyes.
"That is true." He chuckled. "You should rest, my dear one."
"I'm awake now." I shrugged. "I actually...I wanted to ask you something that has been on my mind since everything in Arkansas happened."
"Of course, Elizabeth." He nodded, encouraging me to continue.
I fiddled with my hands, not sure exactly how to word this. But I couldn't help my curiosity. "When I had mentioned to the Queen that she had brought you to New Orleans because she wanted your advice, she gave you this...weird look."
"Did she? I didn't notice." Godric's voice was level, and if I didn't know him so well, I would have thought he was telling the truth. But I saw the flicker in his eyes before it was masked. He was lying. He knew very well why Sophie-Anne had given him a strange look.
"She did just summon you to New Orleans for guidance, right?" I pressed, wondering if he would lie to me again.
"That was the only reason." He nodded. "Why are you asking me this?"
"Just curious." I shrugged. "So that was it?"
"Yes." he assured, though his lips curved downwards. "That was all she needed from me."
"Okay." I nodded, though I couldn't help the pang in my heart knowing that Godric was lying to my face. Why was he lying? What was he keeping from me, from everyone?
Why the hell had Godric gone to New Orleans?
"Please tell me I can kill that fucker already." Eric stood on the porch of his country home as Godric landed in the grassy yard.
"Soon, my child." Godric assured him, a frown settled on his face. "We still need to question him."
"And then I get to rip his fucking head off?" Eric felt like a human child in a candy store at the prospect of being able to kill his greatest enemy. He had never felt such hatred towards another vampire like he had with Bill Compton. He would enjoy ripping his limbs off one by one.
"There is no question that Pam is your progeny." Godric shook his head with a snicker before joining his progeny on the porch. "We have another matter we need to discuss."
"And that would be?" Eric raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the porch railing while Godric stood before him.
"Why is it that you opened your bond with Elizabeth?" Godric questioned curiously. "It was so sudden; I thought you had closed your bond with her?"
"I had but I..." Eric trailed off, not sure how to explain his actions. He wasn't even sure why he had kept their bond open for as long as he had. It was almost as if he was intoxicated from being able to feel her constantly. He had been able to sleep, feeling as if she was right there with him. It had been comforting, and only having her in his arms would have made it better. But he couldn't have her in his arms, and he wasn't sure if he ever could. Holding onto this bond with her, it may very well be his only connection to her. And he wasn't entirely sure why he held onto it dearly.
"You love her; you've claimed that constantly since you've left her." Godric leaned against the closed front door. "You miss her; I can see it in your eyes. You wouldn't have kept your bond flowing like you have the past two nights if you didn't."
"Don't try and make something out of nothing." Eric grumbled, his eyes narrowing.
"Except, there is something there." Godric pointed out. "She told me what you had done last night. You tried to give her the confidence she herself may not have had. Now why would you have done that?"
"I didn't want her to get herself killed." Eric defended. "It was a stupid plan, to let Sookie go to Bill's, by the way."
"In the end, it worked out. Though many lives could have been lost last night." Godric frowned at the thought of what could have happened. "Elizabeth used too much of her powers, once again."
"You need to remind her of her limits."
"I have. You know how she is, she's stubborn. All she wants to do is protect those that she loves. You and her have a lot in common." Godric stated, a smile pulling at his lips as Eric quickly looked away.
"She's acting childishly."
"She cannot die. I know you seem to think you can lose her so easily, but that's the furthest from the truth. She can't die, not without another to take her place. And I can assure you that she will not be offering her soul any time soon." Godric tried to reason with his child's own childish behaviour.
Eric sighed as he gazed down at the porch. He knew his maker was right. She couldn't die. Ellie was truly immortal, just as long as another wasn't created or given her soul. She was more invincible than even a vampire was. She could possibly outlive them all, if she was not to be with a human man and conceived a...Eric growled suddenly at the mere thought of Ellie being with another man. He had no right to this jealousy, and he hated himself for letting her get to him like this. But the thought of another man touching her in the ways that he was only allowed to, it caused him to see red. He didn't want to even think about it. She was his, even if he was not there. He had claimed her and he had not given her up.
But wasn't that exactly what he had done?
He had left. He had given up on what they had because he had been scared. He had run away like a coward, just like his maker had told him countless of times. And perhaps he was a coward. She couldn't die. Ellie was immortal. She may find herself injured or weakened, but even if she were to die, she would simply end up in the In-Between before returning. If Death continued to seek out her soul, then Ellie would always choose life over death. At the time, when she had first returned to him, he had despised her for not choosing him right away. But he could understand it now. He saw the pain she was in, and even at times, he wondered what her life would have been like if he had never entered it. Maybe she would have been happier. Maybe she would have fallen in love with a mortal and found that happiness that they may never share together.
But that was exactly what Eric didn't want.
He didn't want her to be happy with another. He didn't want her to fall in love with any other man. They were supposed to be soul mates. She was his other half, though he struggled with that idea. How had he survived over a thousand years without the idea of love, and now it as all he could think about? Could he really be this person, to follow in the footsteps of his maker? Godric had changed over time; he had watched that change happen. But had he really changed for the worse? Godric still had his edge; he still could find the desire to kill if the reason was right. He was still the vampire that had turned him a millennium ago, only he knew boundaries now. Was there honestly anything wrong with that? Couldn't he learn to survive in the same way so he could be with the woman he loved?
"She wants you to return to her." Godric mused, fighting back the grin as he watched the turmoil in his child. "She hopes that one day, you'll come back to her."
"She hates me, even I can feel that." Eric sighed, running a hand through his slicked back hair.
"Part of her does, yes. You hurt her, Eric. She may never forgive you for that." Godric replied honestly, ignoring the glare he was receiving. "But she also loves you, and love is not something you can just forget so easily. She may try to move on, and maybe one day she'll find the happiness she seeks. But she'll always find herself thinking about you. She'll always love you, no matter what may happen in the future."
"I doubt that."
"Doubt it all you want, but it's the truth, my son." Godric pushed himself off of the door. "She'll always love you; she'll always want to be with you. She may hold a grudge, she may hate that you hurt her. But you'll never know that for sure until you decide to do something about those feelings that I know you have."
"I don't..."
"Yes you do." Godric shook his head at Eric's stubbornness. "Even without having a bond with you, I would know that you do. It's written in your eyes, my son. You love her, you miss her, you want nothing else than to hold her in your arms, to kiss her. I know that feeling because I have it every day. I wish more than anything that I could be with Kyra, but unfortunately, I never had that second chance. You and Elizabeth on the other hand, you have that opportunity to make things right."
Eric gazed down at his maker, wondering if he was right. Could he ever return, to recollect the woman he loved? Would she ever be his again? Could he ever right his wrongs, or would they forever be held over his head?
"There is a war upon us Eric." Godric reminded him. "It's times like these that we must remember what we have, or what we truly desire. And I know that within your heart, even without it beating, you want Elizabeth. So what are you going to do about that?"
"I need you to tell me not to do something." Sookie pulled me into Sam's office the moment Quinn and I had arrived at Merlotte's a few afternoons later.
"Okay..." I raised an eyebrow as Sookie closed the door behind us. "What's this about?"
"I..." Sookie chewed on her bottom lip. "You can't tell Sam about this at all. He's been worried enough as it is lately, and while I love him, it's starting to drive me insane."
I chuckled. "That's what the people you love do, Sookie, they become extremely overprotective. Remember, I have a new father now."
Sookie snorted. "Godric is acting like a father would, you know."
"Oh I know." I rolled my eyes before waving at her to continue. "So what is it that you want me to tell you not to do?"
"I was talking to Holly the other day and...well I wanted to know if there was any way to break a blood bond." She blurted out.
My eyes grew wide. "Seriously?"
Sookie nodded. "The other night, I realized that Bill was never the man that I thought he was. And I got a bit of peace knowing that he was finally out of my life for good. But then I remembered that that will never be true because I'll always have this blood bond with him."
"He's not going to be living for much longer." I assured her. "After Godric is done questioning him, he's going to kill Bill."
"But we don't know how long that might take." She pointed out. "And I...I just need to know that he can't feel me anymore. What if something happened and he escaped? He'll always know what I'm feeling; he'll always know where I am. I don't want that, Ellie."
"I guess I can understand that." I nodded, sometimes wishing that Eric and I weren't bonded together. I liked having that connection to him, and even now as he rested for the day, I still felt like a bit of him was with me. And it was almost comforting. But on the other hand, I knew having this bond now opened was dangerous. It was a distraction, and that was something I couldn't have right now. "So, Holly found a spell or ritual or whatever to break a blood bond?"
"It took a few days, and she said she had to do some investigating, but she finally found something that won't hurt either of the bonded." Sookie explained. "We were going to do it tonight at my house, so Sam wouldn't find out."
"You don't want him to know?" I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I think he would be fine with it, Sook."
"Oh I know that, but he's been treating me like some fragile little girl lately. And I love him, but this is something I just need to do."
"But you want me to talk you out of it?" I snorted. "That makes no sense."
"Shut up." She nudged me, though there was a smile on her face. "I just need your advice. Remember when you dragged me into the trailer after you slept with Quinn..."
"Okay okay!" I held my hands up to stop her. "This is a stupid idea, Sookie, you really shouldn't do this. Except, I honestly think you should."
"Well that was a horrible way to talk someone out of something." She laughed.
"I can't honestly talk you out of something that I think you should do." I shrugged. "He may die, but if this will help you, then who am I to stop you?"
"So then, I should definitely do this tonight? Holly said she had everything ready, and once our shifts were over, we'd head over to my house and do this." The nerves returned and she began pacing.
"You should do this." I nodded in assurance. "It's for your own peace of mind more than anything. Even if he does die, you'll still have his blood in you. So if this will help you, then go for it."
"Really?" she stopped to gaze at me. "So then you'll have no problem coming with tonight then..."
"Huh?"
"We need a third person." Sookie chewed on her nails nervously. "And I thought since I don't want Sam to know about it..."
"Well I guess I don't have much of a choice." I snickered. "I'll talk Quinn into it, so yeah, I'll be there. What were you planning on telling Sam?"
"I'll think of something." She shrugged before pulling me into a tight embrace. "Thanks Ellie, really."
"Hey, you've been there for me more times than I can even count." I smiled at the blonde. "And I've never seen a spell being cast before, one that isn't harmful anyways."
Time moved slowly, the hours dragging on. It wasn't until an hour before Holly and Sookie's shift ended that time began to pick up speed. I had already talked Quinn into taking me to Sookie's, though he was hesitant about it all. But I flashed him those puppy dog eyes that he seemed to have a soft spot for, and finally he agreed. I couldn't help but think about Sookie's decision to do this while I sat in Merlotte's waiting for time to pass. I understood why she wanted to do this, why she wanted to break the blood bond she shared with Bill. Sure, Godric assured me that he was going to die, but even if he did, Sookie just didn't want to have his blood inside of her any longer. And should anything happen, and he somehow escaped, because I wouldn't put that past him to try and do, then he wouldn't be able to find her, he wouldn't be able to always feel her. She wanted to rid herself of Bill once and for all, and this was the only way to do so.
I admired her courage. Here I was, holding onto my bond with Eric, when she was making a choice to move forward with her life. I thought I had been doing that. I thought I had the courage to push Eric from my mind and find the happiness I had been seeking. But as it turns out, I was just as much of a coward as Eric was. Because I was holding on to this open bond dearly, not wanting to let the last piece of him go. Because as much as I wished that he would come back, I knew it would never happen. I would just be holding onto this bond dangerously, letting my focus slip between my fingers, and never letting myself move on.
That wasn't healthy.
And that wasn't what I wanted for myself.
I wanted to move on. I may always love Eric, that may never change. But while I was saying that I was moving on, I wasn't actually doing it. And I couldn't until I broke that one last connection that I had with Eric.
But the question remained, did I want that? Did I want to lose the only piece of him that I had left? Why was I holding onto him, when I knew we could never be together? I may desire that, I may want to feel his arms around me, but realistically it was just never going to happen. So why was I doing this to myself? Why was I putting myself through this agony when I could finally be free of him, finally be broken out of this shell of a person I had become. If I wanted to move on, I had to actually do it. I couldn't hold onto the past, onto what could have been.
"I have to do this." I muttered to myself.
"Have to do what, babe?" Quinn raised an eyebrow as he glanced across the table at me.
"Nothing." I flashed him a forced smile before catching sight of Holly slipping into the back. "I'll be right back."
Quinn nodded as I slid out of the booth we had been sitting in for most of the afternoon and followed Holly into the back where she was refilling a ketchup bottle.
"Hey Holly, could I ask you something?" I wandered over to her, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Yeah sure." She nodded, flashing me a warm smile.
"Sookie told me about this...spell that you're going to do tonight for her."
"To break the blood bond." Holly nodded, setting the ketchup bottles down and wiping her hands on her apron.
"Yeah, and I told her I would go out to her place with you guys, she said you needed a third person."
"It's easier with a third." Holly confirmed.
"Well I was just wondering...how does it work exactly?" I asked, hoping my nerves didn't show.
"Exactly like it sounds. It will break the blood bond that she shares with Bill." Holly explained, tilting her head to the side. "The blood of the vampires she has inside of her will break from her own blood and will be flushed out."
"So her bond with Eric, that will be destroyed too then."
"So would your bond with Godric." She gave me a knowing look.
"What?" I tried to act surprised.
"You were wondering because you were thinking if you should be breaking your blood bond with Eric too." She laid a hand on my arm. "It's written all over your face, Ellie."
"Oh." My face fell. "Well I was thinking about it..."
"It is dangerous. The spell, it doesn't hurt anyone, but I do know that you're bonded with vampires for a reason, Ellie. It would be better for your safety if you had them connected to you at all times." She pointed out.
"I understand that, it's just..." I sighed heavily. "Eric he...he opened our bond for the first time in forever and that's all I've been thinking about lately. We have a war at our hands; I'm sure you're aware of that. And instead of thinking about how to keep us all safe, all I can think about is him. And I love him, and I probably always will, but I'm not sure if holding onto this bond will ever help me move on. And I think I need to really start doing that. Because god knows he'll never come back."
"I understand." She nodded. "But maybe you should take some time to think about this. This would mean breaking your bond with Godric."
"I could always recreate the bond with him again though, right?"
"Of course."
"I know both of them will be pissed off, and I'll never hear the end of it. But I think...I think that maybe I need to do this. Sookie wants to move forward with her life and she's doing something about it. I think I need to start doing that too." I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I admitted that out loud.
"Well, I can prepare for two bond breakings tonight then. It won't really change anything." Holly nodded. "Just as long as you're sure."
"I'm sure. And sorry for rambling, you probably didn't need to know any of that." I blushed in embarrassment.
"Sometimes talking to someone who doesn't know the situation is the best thing." She patted me on the arm before picking up the ketchup bottle she had filled. "I better get back out there."
"Oh right yeah." I nodded, stepping out of the way to let her pass.
She flashed me one last smile before slipping back into the main dining room. I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair, not believing what I was about to do tonight.
"Let it be known that I don't approve of this."
I jumped when I heard Quinn's voice and I sheepishly turned to stare up at the shifter. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough." He shook his head with his arms crossed over his broad chest. "And here I thought getting drunk and sleeping with me was a stupid idea of you."
"I need to do this Quinn. I can always have Godric bond us together again. But I need to break this bond with Eric, to finally move on with my life." I tried to make him understand.
"I don't think that's what you really want though." He pointed out. "I think you're just scared that you still love him as much as you do."
"So maybe that's part of it. But I really need to do this, Quinn. And I would appreciate it if you came with us tonight. I don't expect us to get into any trouble tonight but..."
"You and Sookie are a magnet for trouble." He sighed. "I'll come with you, but I want it down in the record books that I was against this idea."
"I'll make sure Godric knows that so he won't kill you for letting me do this."
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sookie whispered to me as we watched Holly set out a couple dozen candles in a circle in the backyard of Sookie's house.
"For the hundredth time, yes." I nodded, rolling my eyes at the blonde.
"But you love Eric." She insisted.
"And I'll still love him without this bond." I shrugged. "But he's not coming back Sook, I need to move on. And the only way I'm ever going to really do that is to break this bond."
"I still don't like this." Quinn piped up from behind us.
"Oh settle down back there." I stuck my tongue out at the shifter from over my shoulder. "I'm doing this, end of story."
"I just want to make sure." Sookie squeezed my hand. "But if you're sure, then I'll support you."
"Thank you." I offered her a small smile before Holly caught our attention. "Well goes nothing."
Sookie and I wandered over to where the circle had been made. Holly stood in the center, with three jars full of herbs that I couldn't identify creating a triangle around her. Holly motioned for us to enter the circle before pulling out a lighter to light the candles. I stopped her though, flashed her a smile before suddenly every single candle was lit.
"Show off." Sookie snorted, rolling her eyes at my display of power.
I nudged her before turning to Holly. "So what exactly is going to happen?"
"We're all going to stand in front of one of these jars." She motioned to the herb filled jars on the ground. "When I say so, we'll all light a match and set our own jar on fire."
"Sounds easy enough." Sookie nodded.
"Afterwards, I'll hand you a piece of yarn." She displayed three equal lengths of red yarn.
"Red." I stifled a laugh. "Well that's perfect."
"We'll then chant." She handed us a sheet of paper, Sookie and I skinning over the words that made absolutely no sense to us. "And then you'll cut the yarn."
"We'll just cut the yarn?" Sookie raised an eyebrow.
"Like you mean it." Holly nodded.
"That's it? That's all they have to do?" Quinn snickered from outside the circle.
"No comments from the peanut gallery." I rolled my eyes at him. "That sounds simple."
"Simple, but effective." Holly assured us. "Are you two ready?"
"I am." Sookie shot me a look. "Ellie?"
I inhaled sharply, my heart racing in my chest. I had my doubts of course. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe everyone was right. I was safer with these bonds. But I just had to remind myself the reasons why I wanted to do this in the first place. I needed to focus on this war, I needed to concentrate. And hell, I needed to move on already. I could continue to love Eric for the rest of my life without this bond hanging over my head. At least if I didn't have that looming presence of his, then maybe I could move forward with my life and finally be happy.
"I'm ready."
And just like that, Sookie and I placed ourselves in front of a jar of herbs, Holly doing the same thing after handing us each a matchbox.
"Once you light the jar, move around it counter clockwise three times." Holly instructed us as she pulled out a match and lit it.
Sookie and I followed suit, watching as Holly dropped her match into the jar, the herbs flaring immediately with a sharp smell emitting. Sookie and I shared a glance before lighting our matches and dropping it into the jars. Once we had each done so, we walked around our own jar three times counter clockwise, and afterwards, Holly handed us each a piece of yarn. I held it tightly in my clammy hand before Holly motioned us to start chanting. Everything felt like a blur, I wasn't even aware of what I was saying. I just wanted to get through this; I just wanted this to be over with already. I was getting this terrible foreboding feeling, and I didn't like it one bit.
"Alright, now cut the yarn." Holly handed a pair of scissors to Sookie first, who held onto them tightly before snipping the piece of yarn right through the middle without any hesitation.
When the scissors were handed to me though, I felt like I was beginning to believe this was a very very bad idea. Because the moment those scissors were in my hands, I felt a sudden rush of love that I hadn't felt in so long. I gasped out loud, my eyes growing wide as I just stared down at the piece of yarn in my one hand. The strong emotion was almost enough for my shaking hands to lose grip on the yarn and scissors completely. I was thrown for a loop. I hadn't been expecting to feel love emitting from Eric ever again. I never expected that this would occur.
"What the hell are you doing?"
And I certainly never expected Godric to show up.
"I had no part in this." Quinn held his hands up as he stepped back from the circle.
I shot him a glare before meeting Godric's darkened gaze.
"I woke up to find the house empty. There was no note, and when I showed up at Merlotte's, to my surprise you weren't there either." Godric didn't sound happy one bit. "Now please, explain to me what the hell you think you're doing right now."
"I'm breaking – broke – my bond with Bill." Sookie answered for me, holding up her cut pieces of yarn. "See?"
"Why is it that Elizabeth now holds the scissors?" His eyes narrowed. "What are you doing, Elizabeth?"
"I..." My heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest. I hadn't thought of what I would tell Godric. Because I knew he would find out eventually. It was a bit hard not to when suddenly he wouldn't be able to feel me at all.
"She wants to break her bond with Eric." Holly was the one to speak, her voice not wavering at all even though there was an angry vampire looking ready to strike at any moment.
"And you agreed?" Godric hissed. His anger wasn't directed at her, and I think she knew that as she didn't cower away from him.
"She has pure intentions."
"Put the scissors down, Elizabeth." Godric stepped forward. "You cannot do this. What about Eric? You love him."
"I need to move on, Godric." I finally found my words as I grasped onto the scissors so tightly, the handle was starting to dig into the palm of my hand.
"You have these bonds for a reason. You can't just break them." Godric shook his head, taking another step forward. "This is suicidal, Elizabeth."
"I'm sorry." I whispered before suddenly, the flames roared, flaring so high I could no longer see either Godric or Quinn.
"Ellie?" Sookie's voice rose over the crackling of the flames.
I had to close my eyes as I slipped my fingers through the handle of the scissors, preparing myself to cut through the yarn. I was overjoyed to feel Eric's sudden love for me, but that didn't change anything. Because if he loved me, really loved me, then he wouldn't be god knows where right now. He would be here with me so I wouldn't have to resort to something so stupid.
"I'm sorry." I whispered again before suddenly cutting through the yarn, forever breaking the blood bond with Eric, with the man that I loved.
A/N: as a side note, I took the whole blood bond breaking ceremony from the books (Dead Reckoning to be exact) so while very very awesome and brilliant, it didn't come from my crazy brain, and instead, the amazing Charlaine Harris.