Chapter Thirty Five: If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

It felt like I couldn't move a muscle. I tried desperately to move, to crack my eyes open. But no matter how hard I tried to muster the strength, I just couldn't. I felt paralyzed. I couldn't summon my powers; I couldn't summon an ounce of strength. My head was swimming, and the only reason I knew I had come to were the voices I could barely vaguely hear around me. They all sounded muffled though, and I couldn't make out what was being said or who was surrounding me. I tried to keep myself calm, though it wasn't entirely hard as my heart beat barely even sounded as if it were there, my lungs aching every time I inhaled.

"Ah, Miss. Cole, you're awake. I was afraid Bill had injected you with a bit too much of our concoction."

A soft moan escaped my lips as that voice whispered into my ear. It took me a moment to realize that it was Victor, that it was his cold hand that was slowly drawing down my body.

It was then that I felt the use of my body, that the numbness began to subside. My limbs began slowly moving as I tested to see if anything was injured. I found that my hands were cuffed above my head. I moved my legs, and my toes just barely grazed the cold cement floor. My arms ached as they were forced upwards, holding my entire body up. I tried to lift my head up as my eyes slowly began to flutter open, and I was shocked to find myself in the basement of Fangtasia.

"I thought this would be a fitting setting." Victor's voice was still in my ear, his hand stopping on my bare side.

I jostled the chains holding me captive as I realized that I wasn't clothed, that besides for my bra and panties, I was perfectly naked for all to see. My vision was still blurry, but I could make out dark forms around me. And there were plenty of them. I opened my mouth to object, to call for help, but not a single word emitted from my lips.

"Don't try and speak, Phoenix, it'll only hurt. Unfortunately the side effects of the drugs causes you to become mute for the duration." Victor came into view, or at least, I thought it was Victor. His hands were still on me, drawing teasingly up my sides, just lightly brushing over my bra covered breasts.

I shuddered, trying desperately to get free, to get out of his reach. I felt disgusted that he was touching me in this way, that he was touching the body that I freely gave to Eric.

"Now, lets you and I have a little chat. Leave us." Victor called to the others in the room.

"Victor..."

"Yes, even you Sheriff. I'd like to talk with our guest for a moment alone." Victor waved his hand in the air before resting it to my waist.

I heard a mumbled curse before the dark forms around us began slowly leaving until it was just Victor and I. I wasn't so sure I liked that. Because the moment the basement door closed, only the light behind me dimly lighting the room, Victor grew brave with his caresses, moving one of his hands to rest just above the elastic of my panties. A whimper escaped my lips, the only sound that I could make, as a single tear slid down my cheek. I again tried to struggle, but I found that the cuffs rubbed my wrist raw, slowly beginning to break through the skin. My arms were in agony and I had to fall completely still to try and find even an ounce of comfort.

But there was none.

Because I was hanging from the basement of Fangtasia, the bar the man I loved owned, with another man touching me and looking at me in the same way that I remembered my attempted rapists from the fellowship of the sun.

And I was scared.

I had tried not to let Victor frighten me, for my fear to overcome me. But I was scared now. I feared what Victor had in store for me. I may not be able to die, not in the way that he believed, but that didn't mean he couldn't hurt me in every other possible way. It didn't mean he couldn't torture me, that he couldn't touch me in the way I only ever wanted Eric to. I almost wished I could die, just so I could escape this fate. I wished desperately I hadn't been so stupid to go into those woods. I should have listened to Quinn. I should have listened to Eric. But would they have found me eventually? The wolves could have entered the house; they could have easily attacked me until I was dragged out of the house and in Victor's grasps anyways. Maybe if I hadn't been so stupid to break my blood bonds, Eric and Godric would know that I was in trouble, that I was right here in Fangtasia.

But I had been stupid, I had walked into those woods, I had broken those bonds, and now I was paying the price.

"I'm sure you're wondering what exactly I drugged you with."

Victor thankfully moved away from me, though as my vision began to focus, I realized he was waltzing over to the black locked storage unit that I had always feared to know what was in it. But as Victor broke the lock and opened the two doors, I was terrified to find the torture items Eric had used on countless of occasions on the many humans and vampires he had held captive down here over the years. I knew that he had. I knew that he had tortured people. But I never for one minute thought I would be in that position, that I would have some psychotic vampire holding me captive, keeping me drugged so I couldn't fight back.

"It's of my own creation." Victor explained as his fingers lightly grazed over the many items before selecting what appeared to be a silver dagger. He held onto the leather bound handle as he kept the doors open and wandered back over to me, a sadistic smile on his face. "It's to keep you subdued, so your little powers can't be used against me. I had to use Chow and Pam as test subjects of course, and it kept them weakened for a short period of time. But you're a Phoenix, you may be stronger mentally, but physically, you're not much stronger than a mere human."

At that point, he drew the very tip of the blade across my bare torso with just enough force to break through the skin. My mouth gaped open as I silently screamed, the tears spilling down my cheeks now. The pain was incredible. It was torturous as he created another gash across my torso parallel to the first. I may not have been able to scream, but my tears told my pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing that this was just some horrible nightmare that I would wake up from at any moment and find Eric lying beside me, assuring me that everything was alright. But as the pain erupted, the tip of the dagger digging deeper into my midsection, I knew that this wasn't a nightmare, and that everything wouldn't be okay.

This wasn't going to turn out alright at all.

Because even if I managed to get rescued, even if Eric suddenly showed up to save the day like I so desperately prayed for, I knew this night would forever scar me.

How could it not when I was getting tortured for sport?

"See, look at that, you bleed just like humans do, you cry like they do. How is it that you're so powerful then? I'm baffled." Victor drew the dagger away and I fell limp in relief. I knew there was more coming. I knew there was much more coming. I didn't understand why he was doing this. Was he just having some fun, to see what he could possibly do to a Phoenix, to test his theory and see if I could actually die or not? Or was this to send a message to Eric, to us all, that he was not to be messed with? Maybe it was a bit of both.

"What is it about you that makes you so special? Where does your power lie?" he questioned, moving around me until I felt his cold hand on my back. I was relieved at first that it wasn't the blade of the dagger, but it had only been wishful thinking as moments later I felt the ice cold steel press against my back before suddenly it was swiped downwards.

The drugs Victor had injected me with must have been wearing off as a scream suddenly filled the room and it took me a moment to realize that it belonged to me.

"Ah, there's that lovely scream of yours. It sounds like music to my ears." He whispered into my ear, his fangs grazing against my neck before suddenly his hand came around my bleeding middle and sunk his fangs right into my pulsing vein.

Another scream emitted from my lips as my tears dried on my cheeks. I was in too much pain to even cry any longer. The tears were just drying up as the pain and agony racked my body. I had thought the torture the witches had put me through, the curse that had placed on me, I thought that had been the worse pain imaginable. But that wasn't anywhere close to this, to the feel of Victor's dagger as it pierced right through my middle as he drank hungrily for me. I was withering in pain, unable to stop my body as it only pushed the dagger further, lodging it into my body and keeping it there. I could feel the blood pouring out of me, some dropping to the floor, staining it with my red life force, while the rest entered Victor's waiting mouth. My vision was beginning to fade again as whimpers left my mouth, the blood beginning to drip down my lips. After awhile, I couldn't feel the pain any longer, and I knew what that meant. I had felt like this once before.

I was dying.

It could be the only explanation.

The black dots were invading my vision as the blood continuously poured out of me. I never realized just how much blood really was in a human. It was more than a vampire had, but we were more dependent on the thick liquid then an already dead being was.

"You're just as delicious as I thought you'd be." Victor licked at my neck wound, as if he was trying to be all nice and neat. His voice sounded far away, like he wasn't behind me. My head lolled to the side as my eyes were forced shut. I tried to remember the last time I had died. I tried to remember what it had felt like. But I couldn't. I couldn't think of anything at that moment except the pain. It had returned and had rocked through me with such force that my body began shaking from head to toe. The dagger was slid out of my middle and if the blade hadn't of been silver, I imagined Victor would have licked my blood off. "Now now, Phoenix, no dying. Must I feed you my blood? I detest bonding with humans, but you're not entirely human, now are you?"

I tried my hardest to move away from him as he returned to his spot before me, standing in the pool of my blood on the basement floor, mixing with the stained blood of Chows. I hadn't believed at all that night when I watched Chow die before me that I would find myself meeting the same fate. The only relief I had was knowing that even if I were to die, I would only wake up in the In-Between.

Though I wasn't so sure seeing the Reaper's face would be a welcoming sight.

"Now, my Phoenix, I hope we're beginning to understand one another now." He grasped onto my chin and jostled my head until my eyes slowly were forced open. I was only able to stare into those dark eyes of his, everything else blurry to my vision. But that was all Victor wanted. He just wanted to meet my gaze, to look longingly into my eyes until he grasped onto my consciousness. I knew what he was doing, I knew what he was attempting, and I knew he would succeed. Whatever he had done to me, while it was slowly wearing off, I still had no strength to compete against him. Even without my bleeding wounds, the blood leaving my body at a terrifying rate, I wouldn't have been able to do a damn thing to stop him from glamouring me. "You are going to do everything that I ask of you, isn't that right."

"Yes." My voice sounded so unlike myself. It was robotic, as if there was no life in it at all.

And that just might be true.

I could feel my life slipping away from me. I was barely hanging on by a thread. The pain was lessening again, my entire body returning to its previous numb state. I was slowly dying, and unlike the last time, I actually welcomed death. Because I would take fighting for my life in the In-between battling my own inner conflict between life and death than having to endure this agony, this torture. This was too much. I couldn't take this. I couldn't take much more of this at all. It was just all too much.

"You will agree to become mine. You will leave your precious Viking and come to me. You will be mine in every possible way. You will hand me over your body, your soul, your powers. Everything. You will be mine."

I tried to fight it. I tried to fight the words as they were forced out of my lips.

"I will."

"What a good little girl." He patted me on the cheek. "Of course, that is if you live through this...oh where did I put it now? Ah, there it is."

I blinked rapidly as I was pulled out of the trance that was forced on me, the tears forming in my eyes once again. I felt utterly helpless. I wished Eric was here. I wished Godric was here. Hell, I even wished Pam was here. I just wished someone was here to sweep in and save the day. Because I couldn't hang on any longer, not for another round of punishment. Victor knew exactly what he was doing. He was testing me, to see if I would truly die or not.

And he was about to get his answer.

Victor had flashed out of sight for merely a moment before he turned, holding the same stake he had murdered Chow with. I stared at the stake in horror; it still stained with Chow's blood as Victor drew it upwards towards my chest. I closed my eyes, unable to watch as he reeled his arm back before suddenly I felt the piercing of the stake penetrating my chest. The pain just exploded through my body. Everything happened so suddenly. First I couldn't breathe. And then I felt light headed until my body fell limp, my eyes slowly beginning to close as the blood poured from my wound, the flow only growing stronger as the stake was ripped back out of my chest, a scream emitting my lips. I could feel my own failing heart stop so suddenly before everything just grew black.

"She has to be alright. She has to be." Sookie was gripping Sam's hands tightly as they sat in the living room of her house. Eric was pacing the length of the room without uttering a single word. But she could see just how scared he was. She had never seen Eric scared before in her life, but he didn't even try and mask his emotions tonight. None of them could. Ellie had been taken and even Quinn was missing. Tonight was not the night to be feeling too afraid to show a little emotion.

Sookie sighed as she looked down at her left hand, the engagement ring shining up at her. She had been coming over here tonight to share the good news with Ellie. She had tried calling, but Quinn had assured her that she would be home tonight. Ellie was her best friend; she needed to tell her that she was engaged before she could tell a single soul. Out of everyone in the world, Ellie was her person. She was the one she ran to the moment something happened in her life, both good and bad. And this was extraordinarily good, and she couldn't even tell her best friend who was god knows where.

"It's going to be alright." Sam whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek. "It'll be alright."

"No it won't." Eric growled suddenly, halting in his place as he sent the shifter a glare. "How the hell will this be alright?"

"It's just something you say, Eric." Sookie shook her head at the scared vampire. "We know you're scared and worried about Ellie, but you need to calm down. This isn't helping anything."

"I'm not scared." He defended, the mask returning to his face as his hands curled at his sides. "I'm just..."

"You're worried and scared." Sookie repeated, ignoring the dark look he was sending her. "And you have every right to be. The woman you love has been taken; it's okay to admit that you're scared."

"I'm not."

"Okay then." Sookie rolled her eyes before all of their heads turned towards the front door as Godric and Pam entered the house. "Anything?"

"She was taken by Victor, yes." Godric nodded sadly. "Her scent was all over the forest, as was his."

"And those disgusting mutts." Pam looked disgusted as she stared down at her hot pink heels. "Honestly Eric, you need to have pets that don't force me to ruin another good pair of shoes."

Eric growled so lowly that even Pam took a hesitant step back, her eyes raising up to find Eric glaring at her so darkly, she almost felt the need to leave the house.

"What about Quinn?" Sookie hurried the conversation along.

"We found his blood near the cemetery, but there were no other traces of him at all." Godric ran a hand down his exhausted face.

"So there's no way at all to know where they took her?" Sookie's heart sunk. "How are we supposed to find her?"

"This is exactly why we had bonded with her in the first place." Godric sighed, finding that he needed to sit down. He had told Ellie breaking the blood bonds would be a bad idea. He knew something like this would happen. Victor would not have just let go of the fact that they had undermined him and helped Pam escape. He would want revenge on whoever had accomplished that feat, and that had been Ellie and Quinn. And now both were gone without a single trace, and there was no way to track Ellie at all. There were no bonds to search through; there was no trail of blood to follow. All they could do now was search all over, hoping to pick up her scent. But that could take days, and they may not have that long.

"Is there some sort of spell we can cast?" Sookie suggested. "I mean, maybe we can ask Holly and..."

Suddenly, a cry of pain emitted from Eric as he stumbled and braced himself against the wall, his hand lying over his heart as his eyes grew wide. Everyone stared at the vampire in shock at his pain filled face.

"Eric?" Godric was before him in a flash, laying a hand on his arm. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I...I felt something." Eric's eyebrows furrowed before his face twisted into pain again and if it hadn't of been for Godric holding him up, his large form would have crashed to the ground.

"What's going on?" Pam looked panicked at seeing her maker in pain so suddenly. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Could this be some sort of spell?" Sookie asked them vampires worriedly. "Maybe Victor is using some sort of witch to..."

"This is no spell, at least not one cast recently." Godric shook his head as he helped his child into a chair. Eric gripped onto the arms of the chair so tightly, his fingers had penetrated the fabric. His eyes were squeezed shut, but by how tense his body was, they could all tell that he was in pain, pain that they couldn't understand at all.

"What do you mean, not one cast recently?" Sam questioned in confusion. "I don't understand."

Godric sighed as he glanced up from his progeny to share a look with Pam. Without a single word passing between them, Pam knew what Godric was talking about. Her eyes grew wide before she was at her maker's side, her cool hand pressed against his cheek.

"Eric?" her voice was unnaturally soft. "You feel her, don't you?"

Eric could only nod, the pain growing worse. He had not felt such intense pain before, not since the witches had cursed both Ellie and him. But not even that spell had caused him this much pain. It was excruciating. It felt like his still heart was being ripped right out of his chest repeatedly. The agony, it was nearly too much to handle, and that scared him. He was a thousand year old vampire. He had gone through the worst agony in the world throughout his lifetime. If a pain that did not belong to him could affect him in such a way, then how could she, how could the woman he love possibly fight through this.

"You feel Ellie?" Sookie's eyes grew wide. "But...how is that possible?"

"The spell that was cast on Ellie and Eric, the one that had bonded them together." Godric closed his eyes as he tried to remember that moment in time, to remember what they had done to cease the spell. Or at least that was what they had all thought had happened.

"But that spell was broken after Ellie had died." Sam reminded. "Wasn't it?"

"We all thought it had been. But perhaps..."

"Are you telling us there's a possibility that the spell hadn't been broken at all? But Ellie and Eric have been apart from one for so long." Sookie pointed out. "And neither of them were in pain."

"Perhaps the spell was not completely cast upon them any longer, but there could be remnants. As we forced the witch to counter the spell, he could have placed another one on them. We can't be sure." Godric opened his eyes and stared down at his child. "You're certain your feeling her? Can you tell where she is?"

"Only the pain." Eric gasped out, his eyes shooting open suddenly. "Oh god."

"What?" Sookie's heart was racing as she braced herself for the worst.

"She's..." a single red tear slipped down his cheek and he didn't even bother to brush it away. "She's dying."

"I'm sorry to call you so late." Sookie stood out on the porch as Holly slipped out of her car and made her way towards the house. "I just...I didn't know who else to call."

"Of course." Holly assured her with a smile. "Whatever I can do to help."

"Thank you, really Holly thank you. We keep dragging you into these messes."

"Ellie has a pure soul, her entire existence is remarkable. If there's any way I can help her, then I will." Holly laid a hand on Sookie's arm. "Where's Eric?"

"He's in the living room." Sookie ushered her into the house and nodded towards the living room where the vampires were speaking Swedish. Sam stood from the couch the moment Holly entered, and all sounds ceased as heads turned towards the witch.

Holly raised an eyebrow the moment she stared into the haunted eyes of the blonde Viking. She knew immediately a spell had been cast upon him. She saw the dark aurora around him, enveloping his entire body. It wasn't the usual dark matter that surrounded a vampire. This was instead pure evil, completely dark magic. She felt the density the moment she had stepped into the house. It stilled her for a moment, froze her in place at how thick the dark magic was surrounding this one vampire.

"Someone has cursed him." Holly whispered before shaking her head and striding over to the vampire sitting in the chair, kneeling down before him. She laid her hand on his, and she nearly jumped to her feet in fright. "It was the same witch who had cursed Ellie with the heart's desire bonding spell."

"That's what I was worried about." Godric sighed. "I should have known he wouldn't have simply countered the bonding spell. I should have known."

"There was nothing you could have done, Godric." Holly shook her head. "This is very dark magic."

"What's wrong with him?" Pam demanded to know.

"The witch, he cursed Eric to feel the last pain that his heart's desire does."

"What do you mean?" Sookie looked around in confusion. "What does that mean?"

Godric was the one to answer for Holly. "It means that Ellie truly is dying, if she's not already dead."

"No." Sookie shook her head in denial. "No, she has to be alright."

"She will be. She can't die, remember." Sam pointed out, wrapping his arms around Sookie's form. "She'll be fine."

"This spell, it's causing him to feel what she does before she dies?" Pam questioned.

"Essentially, yes. I suspect it was cast to cause Eric the same amount of pain that this witch felt when he watched his sister die." Holly nodded, rising back up to her feet. "Since she is a Phoenix, she'll never truly die, not as easily as one of us may. But that also means that whenever Ellie might die, or what we think is her dying, then Eric will feel it."

"How can we stop it?" Godric wondered.

"It's a difficult spell to cast, and even more difficult to counter. It would have been easier for the original spell caster to break it, but that's not exactly an option." Holly thought hard as she glanced between the pained vampire and the others in the room. "I can break the curse, but it will take time and resources that I don't have. I'll need other witches. I don't have enough power to break this curse alone."

"There's no point now." Eric hissed out, his body suddenly relaxing as the pain just ceased. "It's done."

"What do you mean it's done?" Sookie's heart just about stopped.

"Ellie, she's..." Eric closed his eyes as he leaned his head back, wishing he never had to say these words again. "She's gone. Ellie is dead."

I knew what would happen. I knew that I wouldn't wake up and find some fluffy clouds of heaven with those gold gates leading to the desired after life. I knew that I would wake up in the In-Between, that I would have another chance at life; a third chance if I counted correctly.

And I was right.

One minute the pain had washed over my body before everything grew dark, and the next, my heart suddenly began pounding in my chest, a gasp emitting from my lips. My eyes flew open as my hand instinctively went to my chest, to where the stake had pierced right through me before being yanked out. I was expecting a gaping hole, to feel blood, but much like the last time I had found myself in the In-Between, I felt perfectly healthy. I didn't feel an ounce of pain, there was no blood, and in fact, I was completely dressed.

"Can't keep yourself out of trouble, can you?"

I sighed as I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm my racing heart as I inhaled my first few breaths. It felt odd, to know that I had technically died, that I actually wasn't alive when I was here in this grey hell hole. I wasn't alive, and I wasn't really dead. I was just in the holding place, almost like a waiting room with two doors leading to my future.

Except this time, I knew exactly which door I wanted to walk through.

Slowly I opened my eyes once again as I pushed myself up into a sitting position, finding a familiar form standing only a few feet away, that cocky smirk of his plastered across his face.

"Well I can't exactly say I'm happy to see your face again." I stared up at the Reaper who looked as dashingly annoying as he had the last time we had encountered one another.

"And I'm already annoyed of you." He rolled his eyes before striding towards me. "Now, little Phoenix, we need to have a little chat."