Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to far greater minds than mine. As such, this is merely fanfiction for which I make no money.

Chapter Six

Yuki

Something about Kyo's smiles was distinctly wrong. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Outwardly, he was acting completely normal. He smiled and joked around, got angry and raised his voice. He even laughed. But there was something so terribly not right about his behavior. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. The more it bothered me, the more I watched him to figure it out. The more I watched him, the more it bothered me.

By the time I walked into the student council meeting, I was a bundle of raw nerves. Kakeru hadn't given any indication that he knew about my… abnormality. Get a grip already! You're gay! I shuddered. He wasn't the type to spread such things around. Otherwise, I'd be a mockery of the whole school.

Anyway, Kimi and Kakeru were having a heated discussion about their favorite kind of undergarments –why they'd discuss such a thing was beyond me. Nao was gritting his teeth and casting them agitated looks every once in a while between shuffling papers. I didn't see Machi, I assumed she was skipping again. I sighed and called the meeting to order.

"The Archery club has requested more funding," I began.

"Is that the club that uses those fake swords?" Kakeru interrupted.

"That's fencing, you half-wit," said Nao.

"Aww, Chibi-suke," said Kakeru. "Do you have your undies in a bundle?"

Nao scoffed and muttered something about "sea-urchins" and not calling him Chibi.

"That reminds me… do you wear boxers or briefs?"

Nao sputtered, a faint blush covering his cheeks. "That's none of your business."

Kakeru sighed. "You're so lame…"

I cleared my throat. "The Archery club-"

"Hey, Yun-Yun, what kind of underwear do you wear?" Kakeru interrupted.

"I… I hardly see how this is relevant."

"Ooo, Kimi wants to know!" said Kimi. "Let me guess… Kimi thinks that Yun-Yun wears… Briefs!"

"Don't be stupid, Kimi," said Kakeru. "Yun-Yun obviously wears lacy pink-" I slammed my hand over Kakeru's mouth.

"As I was saying, in order for the Archery club to receive more funding, they have to have over 10 members. Right now, they have 9, but they insist that they need more money to advertise and gain membership. Should we give them more funding?"

"Kimi thinks that Archery is silly!" said Kimi. "If there was a club for shopping or fashion, it wouldn't have trouble having more than 10 members."

"Who would join such a stupid club?" Nao asked.

"Kimi would!"

"Should we put it to a vote?" I asked.

Kakeru backed away from my hand and started laughing. "Of course you would, Kimi," he said.

"It's stupid," said Nao. "And it would be a waste of the school's money!"

"Manabe-kun doesn't think it's stupid, do you?" Kimi asked.

"Uh…" Kakeru was clearly feeling cornered. "I think we should give the Archery club more money."

"But, the fashion club…"

"There is no fashion club!" said Nao. "Let's just get this over with so we can go home. I don't think the Archery club should get more money. The rules clearly state-"

"Who cares about the rules?" asked Kimi. "Rules are meant to be broken. Kimi thinks we should give the Archery club more money too!"

Nao glared at me. I sighed. "I think we can afford to give them more money."

"We'd know for sure if the treasurer were here," Nao hissed.

"Machi's sick again," said Manabe. "She gets sick a lot in the Winter."

Is it Winter already?

"What else do we need to get done today?" asked Kakeru. "I'm tired…"

"Kimi is tired too," Kimi agreed.

I sighed. "There have been complaints from teachers about class 4-A. It seems they've gotten the most write-ups this term."

"Oooh," said Kimi. "Four-A is Kimi's class."

"The teacher's want harsher penalties for misbehavior and they want to implement a new system."

"What system?" asked Kakeru. "Are they talking about detentions?"

I looked down at the request. "No, they want to implement a system where they make the punishment fit the crime." I was getting a headache already.

"That sounds good to me," said Nao. "If they want to make stiffer penalties for rule-breakers, I think we should back them."

I nodded. "I think there is a point to it," I agreed. "If the penalties fit the crime, students are more likely to behave."

"Kimi doesn't care."

"Does that mean you're abstaining from your vote?" asked Nao.

Kimi nodded.

"I think it's a terrible idea!" said Kakeru. "What kind of punishment will they give for students caught doing dirty things on campus?"

I sighed. "I'm sure they'll think of something."

"They won't make them do it in front of other people will they?"

"Manabe," said Nao. "This is just ridic-"

"Chibi-suke wouldn't have to worry, since he's not popular. But Yun-Yun has so many admirers! It would be a problem if he got caught with a girl and had to-"

"That's enough!" I snarled. "Can we please get back to the topic at hand? Since Kimi is abstaining and Machi isn't here, your vote is null. I'll send the word to the administration that we're okay with the policy."

"Jeez, Yun-Yun," said Kakeru. "You're in such a bad mood today." He stretched. "I think someone needs to get laid-"

Kakeru was cut off when I punched him in the jaw. I don't know what about what he said made me lose my cool. I'd never resorted to that type of violence in school. Manabe looked at me, holding his jaw. He looked shocked and then guilty. "Sorry, Yuki," he apologized. "I just… I said that without thinking."

I took a deep breath. "It's quite alright," I said. "I shouldn't have struck you."

"Kimi thinks-"

"No one cares what you think!" Nao snapped. He stood up. "I've had it for today. I'm going home." He stormed out. He was in a worse mood than usual as well. I had a feeling it had to do with how energetic Kimi and Manabe were.

"Well, if Chibi-suke isn't staying, than Kimi won't stay either." She gathered her things and walked out.

"I really am so-"

I raised my hand to stop Manabe's apology. "There's no need."

"I say stuff without thinking a lot… I guess I should work on that, huh?"

I shook my head. "I've been under a lot of stress lately."

"Is it because your cousin, what's his name?"

"Kyo." His name felt odd in my mouth. It was as if it were a flavor I hadn't tasted in a while. I shook my head. What a strange thing to think.

"Is it because Kyo was out of school for so long?" he asked.

"Huh?" I'd forgotten what he was talking about. "Oh… Not really. As I've said, he and I don't really see eye to eye."

"Yeah, but…" Manabe paused. "I saw you… staring at him in the hallway earlier."

I froze. I hadn't realized how obvious I'd been.

"It was… twice." Manabe fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "What happened to him?"

"He was… sick," I said. I rested my hand on the desk I was standing near and gazed out the window. "He's fine now."

Manabe nodded. "Yeah. He looked really… off for a while. It still seems like there's something wrong with him."

I frowned. It was strange that he would pick up on that. "Have you been watching him?"

Kakeru laughed. "No," he said. "I just… notice stuff. I was worried about you for a while."

I frowned. "Why?"

"Well, because of what you told me… I mean, how you acted when I figured it out. You must think it's… wrong or something."

I shook my head, a denial already on my lips.

"You know… It's okay if you don't feel good about it. It's not like society makes it easy on gay people."

I recoiled at his use of the word. I was not at all close to being comfortable with it. Haru had acted as if it were normal. But then, he was bisexual… Or rather, he didn't care what gender a person was.

"But I accept you, Yun-Yun," said Manabe. "I don't care if you're a lesbian."

I laughed. Normally, it bothered me when he made jokes about me being a woman. I just couldn't that time. I was too relieved that he was so okay with it. "That's good to know."

"I have a question." He stared off into the distance for a minute. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I bristled. "N-no."

He smiled. "It just seems like a guy like you could get anybody."

Except Kyo… I… didn't really just think that, did I? I just waved my hand dismissively. "Are you offering?" I teased.

Kakeru snorted. "Nahh, I'm in love with Komaki." He grinned. "My angel of meat. Besides, no offence, but you're not really my type."

I laughed. "Does that mean you like boys as well as girls?"

"Yun-Yun!" Manabe scolded. "I thought you were a girl!"

I shoved him playfully, thankful that I could count on him to stay the same.

Kyo

I felt like my heart was going to explode. I hadn't been out of my room much except to go to school since I had that weird argument with Yuki the other day. I was curled up under the sheets, clutching my hair. I willed it to go away. If I willed it away hard enough, the horrible confused emotions would go away, right? This horrible gut-wrenching depression would subside and I'd be okay.

I didn't know.

I felt like I was barely floating in the middle of an ocean and it was only a matter of time before I got dragged under the surface by those horrible memories. Even though I hadn't seen my mom get hit by the train, I kept imagining it. It's not going to stop, mom! I screamed in my head, shuddering. I bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. She took the easy way out. I could do it too. I had to stop myself, I shouldn't think like that. Why did I have to be born the cat? Why did I have to be born at all? Would it make my life any different if I'd been born normal? Would it be better if I wasn't cursed; if my family tied to this stupid promise?

I knew it wouldn't. In my heart of hearts, I knew that there was no chance; even if I didn't have a curse weighing me down, it wouldn't keep the crushing pain at bay. The truth was that the more I thought about it, I realized that I was to blame for all of my misery. This pain was so unrelenting. Death would be a welcoming release.

I sat up and buried my face in my hands. I heard a knock on the door and Tohru called that dinner was ready. I shouted okay and headed downstairs. "Seems like you've been gone a lot." I grinned and helped Tohru set the table.

Tohru beamed at me. "I know, Kyo-kun. I'm really sorry, it's just that I wanted to make a bit of extra money this winter so I could take part of the summer off."

"Oh?" I felt an easy, yet fake, smile spread across my face. "Got big plans?"

Tohru blushed. "W-well… Um… Momiji-kun wants to go to the ocean this summer."

"Just you and him?"

Tohru's blush deepened. "H-Hatori-san and Ayame-san will be our chaperones…"

Comprehension dawned on me and I clapped her on the shoulder, my face was starting to hurt from all of the fake smiles. "You and the rabbit, huh?" I caught Yuki staring at me. Apparently, he'd just walked in. "Well, I'm happy for you."

"R-really, Kyo-kun?" she asked. "I mean… you're not-"

"Naw." I chuckled. "Momiji's liked you forever." I ruffled her hair and took my usual seat beside her on the floor. "But if he breaks your heart…" I leaned in close. "I'll break his arm."

Tohru giggled nervously and I cast a quick sideways grin in her direction before digging into my stew. It became clear a moment later that Yuki was still staring at me. "Whaddya want, damn rat?" I snarled.

Yuki's eyes widened.

"Quit starin' at me. Creep."

"It was just a glance," he objected.

I scowled at him. "Your face is annoying me."

Yuki squared his shoulders and started eating his stew. I bristled slightly when Shigure came into the dining room and started ranting animatedly about something (no doubt something perverted). It seemed like he was going for a world record in annoying and I noticed that he kept giving me the same looks Yuki was giving me. It irritated me. A lot. Finally, I couldn't handle the staring and slammed my spoon down on the table. "What's with all the staring?" I snarled.

"Shigure, pass the salt-"

"Don't ignore me, you damn rat! You keep staring and it pisses me off."

"Kyo-kun…" said Tohru.

I gave her an apologetic grimace. "Sorry…."

"Kyo-kun," said Shigure. "Perhaps you should take one of the pills Hatori gave you."

"Hatori can take his pills and-"

"Kyo!" Yuki stood up. "That's enough. If you upset yourself, you'll get sick."

I stood up. "Since when do you give a damn about anything I do?"

Yuki ignored me. His face had turned stony. I couldn't even muster up the energy to scream at him anymore so I just messed around with my stew until it was cold and went back up to bed.

Yuki

Kyo's mood swings were becoming more pronounced. In front of others, Kyo seemed fairly normal; a bit more cheerful than usual but otherwise okay. However, when I looked into his eyes, I felt deeply unsettled. There was something horribly wrong about his happiness. It was hollow and there was something terrifyingly familiar about it.

When we got to gym class that day, it finally hit me. Kyo had been acting the way I used to. He was putting up a front of false happiness to keep others from noticing how much he was hurting. I almost wanted to reach out to him and ask what was wrong but I couldn't. I was afraid of how I knew he'd react. Kyo had rejected my kindness on more than one occasion and I wasn't keen to repeat the experience.

Every time he reacted in violent rejection of me lately, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. It was almost like remorse but it had a bitterer sting to it and I didn't understand the reason.

As I watched him out of the corner of my eye that day, it became more and more apparent that he was hiding something. His mask was far from perfect but it was enough to fool those who had never needed to smile through their agony.

It frightened me.

Kyo

I'd decided it the night before. As I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, it all became so clear. If I just ended it, I wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore. If I just let go of everything, I wouldn't suffer. It was clear that this pain was unrelenting and poisonous. It was like a dark sludge that was slowly filling my heart with muck.

To make matters worse, I was slowly coming to a horrible conclusion. I wouldn't admit it to myself but deep down, I knew that there was a kind of a cancerous longing for something in my heart. And I was starting to realize what it was.

Every time Yuki looked at me, I got irritated. But I wasn't angry, not really. What I felt was a tugging in my chest. I felt like reaching out and touching him. I wanted to grab him and hold him tight. It was a scary feeling. And it ran deep.

I kept looking at him when he was distracted and thinking about how beautiful he was. I kept thinking about how perfect and smart and attractive and… I didn't want to think about him like that. I didn't want my brain to be filled with thoughts like that. And that was what finally drove me over the edge.

Surprisingly, I felt incredibly light hearted when I realized how easy it would be. I could simply let myself fall off a cliff. It was really simple. I almost laughed at how easy it would be. And I was sure I could do it now. It was scarier to keep living with the pain than it was to just…

Die.

And so, as I walked home that day, glad for once that Tohru was at work and that damn Yuki… (oh, God. Can't think about him right now) was still at school, I walked toward a familiar cliff. It was with thoughts of Yuki and how strange everything was that I put one foot in front of the other, bringing me closer to my death; closer to my relief.

It's so easy, I said to myself. I can just fall. Just like that. And I bet death is like going to sleep.

The cliff came faster than I thought. I smiled sadly down at it. It had to be at least a 30 foot drop. That was plenty to do me in if I went head first. And that rocky stream at the bottom was fast and looked cold. If I didn't die from the fall, I'd drown or freeze to death.

It struck me then how beautiful the forest was. I took it all in, breathing in the smell of trees and dirt as I stood at the edge of the cliff.

And then, all at once, I felt myself being hurled backwards. No, not hurled; pulled. And I landed on my back, with someone's bruising grip holding me on top of them.

Yuki

I'd reacted without thinking. As I lay there, holding Kyo on top of me, I had a sudden terrifying thought that I'd just grabbed him for no good reason. Maybe he wasn't going to jump. Maybe he was just looking at it. Maybe I was over reacting.

I felt the back of Kyo's head hit my chest and saw his eyes roll up to stare at me. "You're so annoying," he muttered after a long silence. "Let me go."

"What are you doing?" I asked. And I was mortified to admit that my voice cracked.

"What do you think? I'm being squeezed to death by an asshole."

That stung. "You were going to jump, weren't you?" Kyo's hesitation broke my heart. He didn't say anything. It was a good five minutes before either of us moved. I felt the bridge of my nose stinging and my chest tightened painfully. Before I could stop myself, tears were spilling from my eyes and I was shuddering with sobs. I felt Kyo struggle, so I held him tighter. "No!" I shouted. "No, no, no!" I was crying like a child now; heaving loud, shuddering sobs. "D-don't go. Pl-please!"

I felt Kyo shaking and thought he might be laughing. I was really embarrassed now; he probably had no plans on killing himself and I'd just been a complete ass by grabbing him. Even still, I couldn't get the tears to stop. I was incredibly ungraceful when I cried. My face got blotchy and I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried.

It was with great shock that I realized that Kyo was crying too. "Wh-why'd you stop me? Why?" He collapsed limply and stopped struggling. I realized that although he was heavy, I was oddly comforted by his weight; by the feeling of his strong, warm back pressed against my chest. "Pl-ease just let me go?" he begged. "I don't wanna do this anymore."

I loosened my grip and sat up, but kept at the ready to grab his arm if he made any sudden movements. To my relief, he simply sat up as well but continued to lean against me, my legs on either side of him and his back pressed to my chest. "Why? Why are you giving up?"

Kyo sighed. "It's better than the alternative."

"Living?" I demanded. "Death is such a relief… What are you running from?"

Kyo whirled around and leaned over me, threateningly. I really was terrified for a moment that he'd attack me. "Everything!" Kyo shouted. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts? How much pain I suffer every day because I'm the cat? Could a rat like you ever understand what it feels to have his heart broken?"

"Seeing as you just broke it, I'd have to say I do!" I snapped. Even I was shocked by how venomous that sounded. "I…" My resolve broke. "This may come as a shock to you but… I don't want you to die."

"Damnit…" Kyo sat back on his heels. "Y'know, it would have been easier if you'd just let me-"

"Stop talking like that!"

"Why are you acting like you care? You think we have a choice? You think we have a say? Our lives are planned out for us. We're all victims of fate. ALL OF US. Especially me. I'm cursed and that's all I am. I'm a filthy monster destined to suffer all his life because of some STUPID PROMISE. YOU THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THAT?"

"Kyo… if that's all we are, then I'll stand up and hold your hand as we both jump. If all we have is what we've been given and there is nothing more to us than our curse then, by all means, let's end it right now. Because… if you die, I'll have to believe you."

Kyo stared at me, flabbergasted. "Wh-what?"

"I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist. I'll never smile again." I stood up. "So, let's go home or go off the cliff. I don't care, either way is fine." Kyo stared at me for a minute before standing up and grasping my hand. To my relief, he headed for the direction of home and didn't let go of my hand until we were at the door.