I got a review that said how much they enjoyed this story, since I haven't even looked at it in over 2 years I'd figure I'd give it a quick look…it was crap, the sheer number of grammatical errors I'd failed to correct, the unnecessary lines, the spacing, the rushed finish not even mentioning the cliché narrative structure "and then suddenly" god I actually used that as the lead into the complication. In short I thought "year 3 students write better then this"… I've given it a 'slight' overhaul so that I don't feel too ashamed.
In other words it's now four times as long and has gone severe editing.
The double post here is due to the chapter re-sorting, with the 'original' remaining on the internet in 'chapter 3' area. I hesitate to leave it up on the internet but it was my base and my first attempt at writing a few years ago. Kind of like the finger paint you did when you were 3 that you think is crap but Mom still has it tucked away in the bottom draw...
Chapter 1 is the re-done story, I wanted to get across just how strong a woman Nami is. Not just in her drug tolerance but her attitude towards life, something that was sorely lacking in my original. This is a woman where only by practically every circumstance conspiring against her was able to be brought this low- and even then only for so long. Nami is not a weak character. A few things were changed, a little bit more description, a slower pace and a different ending, one that I feel is more natural for the Straw-hat crew... also I just love Chopper...
Chapter 3 is the 'finger paint' that I did in 2008, if you want a good story, this is not the chapter for you. If you think it's better than chapter 1... well perhaps I should stick to calculus...