Sookies POV: 3 weeks later
The pain is excruciating as Thing One and Thing Two bite into my flesh. After they have grown tired of doing that they start carving into my skin with knives. They laugh at my pain. 'You are going to die' they keep telling me. I close my eyes hoping that they were right, at this point I welcomed death.
"Lover did you really think you could run away from me," a familiar voice whispers into my ear. Oh god! It's Eric and he's come to save me.
I open my eyes and am bewildered. Eric is staring down at me with a malevolent smile on his face.
"Help me," I cry out to him. "It hurts so much."
"I will help you but first my wife is hungry. I promised her fairy blood," he says darkly.
I tilt my head slightly. My eyesight is a little blurry but it looked like Thing Two was coming back.
"Eric watch out," I croak. But instead he moves aside for her. I regain focus and see that it is Rosamund, not Thing Two. I look up towards Eric and see the knife that Thing One was using in his hand. They had morphed into the evil fairies.
"Please don't," I cry out. Take me away, take me away, take me away, I chant in my mind.
"You blood smells divine Sookie," she says to me. "Eric was right about you," she says laughing. Her fangs come down and she goes straight for my throat.
I feel her fangs piercing into my skin and I scream.
I scream out loud sobbing. My eyes are blurred by tears. I look around and I start to settle down knowing it was just a dream. This has been going on for weeks now. Every night I dreamt about what the fairies did to me and suddenly they become Eric and Rosamund.I spend another few minutes curling up into a ball and crying into my pillow trying to forget it.
Finally I get up. I soak a cloth in warm water and rub it around my sweat covered face and neck. I also rub my swollen eyes.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. I had hoped by now that being here would have improved me but it didn't. Instead I just kept on getting worse and worse.
I have been here for three weeks with a handsome ancient vampire who was virtually a stranger. But he was kind and respectful. He kept his word; he never touched me or asked to drink from me. He was also very good company. He began to teach me how to draw. We talked about mundane things and sometimes told me stories of his journeys. I also shared with him aspects of my life. I told him about Gran and Jason and what it was like growing up. I never spoke about Eric. He seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. It was comforting being with him but it was when he retired during the day that my depression set in.
The emptiness and sadness in my heart could never die down. I thought about Eric constantly and missed him greatly.
It was only when Marius arose that I was able to push aside my feelings. He had only left once during these past weeks and I assume it was in order to feed. He also brought back more supplies and food for me. He surprised me with a wrapped gift. I opened it and it was board games, monopoly and scrabble. He had never played them before so I spent some time teaching him how. But soon he mastered those games and constantly beat me. It didn't upset me though, I enjoyed having his company.
During the day when I managed to leave the cabin, I would soak in the hot springs that he showed me. I took walks to the glacier lake that he had mentioned the first night.
Today I decide to go for a walk to the lake. I put my clothes on and twenty minutes later I end up at the pristine lake.
I sit on a huge rock and look at the scenery. I am unable to enjoy it as my thoughts of Eric cloud my mind again and I begin to cry.
"Why did you do this to us?" I cry out. I can hear a faint echo of my voice. I stay at the lake for several hours until I get hunger pangs.
I slowly walk back to the cabin and I make myself a small meal. Afterwards I tidy up the cabin and lie down on the couch to read a book.
Time goes by and I don't notice that it is already dark. Marius walks in and smiles at me looking as gorgeous as ever. He is wearing a black v-neck sweater and blue jeans. I give him a weak smile back and say hi.
His expression changes to concern as he looks at me with uncertainty in his eyes.
I try to look cheerful to not worry him but he still looks concerned.
"Can I hold your hands?" he asks me. He kneels down in front of me as I sit up on the couch.
I look at him surprised but I hold out my hand for him. He slowly rubs my hands with his. It dawns on me that this is the first time since he brought me here that he has touched me. I feel a jolt of electricity as he rubs my skin.
"Your hands are cold," he comments as he looks down at our adjoined hands.
"Oh, it must have been from being outside earlier," I say weakly.
He looks up at me and traces his thumb under my eye, "You were crying again."
My first instinct is to deny it, but a tear slips out and lands on his thumb. He rubs it between his fingers.
I look down. "Don't worry I'll be okay. I just need more time," I lament trying to reassure him. Some more tears fall from my eyes.
"Sookie," he says holding my hands again. "I need you to look at me," he says gently.
I sniffle and raise my head to look at him.
He stares into my eyes for a long time. He is looking like he is deliberating internally about something. Finally after three or four minutes he speaks. "I want to give you my blood."
My eyes widen as I look at him feeling shocked. That was not what I was expecting him to say. "Why?" I blurt out. "I'm not hurt or anything like that."
He rubs my hands again. "You are dying Sookie."
I stare at him with a lost look in my eyes unable to comprehend what he has just said. I don't feel physically unwell or feel any pain. The last time I went to a doctor was six months ago for a complete physical and I was declared healthy as a horse. I may have lost a few pounds these past months but that has been due to my stressful situation. Did he mean the fact that I was mortal and was going to die eventually?
Obviously aware that I am confused he speaks again. "You are dying of a broken heart. I can feel your life force leaving your body slowly."
How do you respond to that? "Oh," is all I say looking down to the floor. "I didn't know that that was possible," I whisper.
"Death is slowly claiming you. It may take you within a year," he says gently.
"Could it be due to the bond?" I ask despondently.
"I do not know. I do not know much about bonds between humans and vampires. But I think it may have more to do with what you feel for Northman and the heartache he has caused you."
My mind continues to reel. "How would drinking your blood help me? I thought vampire blood only cured physical ailments," I say.
"Yes it does," he responds, "But mine is more special."
"You have special blood," I state still feeling bewildered with what he has just told me.
"Yes, when my maker tasted my blood for the first time, she said it tasted different. That there were elements in my blood that no other human or vampire she knew had. Before she found me she had been walking the earth for about four years, ready to meet her final death, because she had lost her first child and her maker in a battle. When she drank my blood, she said that it felt like the sadness and turmoil had been lifted from her heart and soul. When I had made my own child, Marten was living in despair. He was mistreated severely by his family and it would have scarred him for life. Though he possessed strength and agility, he was sad and angry and only felt hatred in his heart. But I knew that was not how he truly was. They had broken him. When I gave him my blood, he said it was like the burden and torment was gone."
I take in his story. A tear comes down my cheek. "So if I drink your blood, I will be cured of my broken heart?"
"No, it will mend the damages. You will not forget what has happened to you, you will carry it for the rest of your life. Drinking my blood will make the mental anguish bearable to endure and will help you to move on."
I take a few minutes to think about what he has just said. I go over the facts. I'm basically dying right now, literally of a broken heart. Cheesy love songs about broken hearts run through my mind. I remember when I used to laugh at the cheesy lyrics, now it was my reality. If I don't drink his blood then I will die. It would essentially be committing suicide since I now know that I am dying. I don't think he is lying. After all who would be cruel enough to say something like that to someone? Even though I have known him for a short time I doubt that he is that malicious. Besides if I truly wanted to find out then I could wait a year from now to see if he was right. But obviously that would be a stupid move on my part.
"I don't offer my blood to just anyone Sookie. Only two people have tasted my blood: my maker and my son," he comments as he watches me.
"Buy why are you offering it to me? I'm nobody, we just met." I ask.
He looks away briefly, then gazes into my eyes again, "Like I have told you before, I believe that you are worth protecting. And also..." he says his voice drifting off thinking of some words to say, "It would hurt me greatly if you died this way."
I stare at my hands. "Could I think about it for a few minutes?" I ask.
"Of course," he says rising up to his feet. "I will be back in awhile." He leaves the cabin.
I get up from the couch and walk around the room. He wants me to drink his blood because I am dying. I think about the consequences. He would be able to sense my emotions and be able to track me. I don't know if I would be able to shut him out like I could with Eric. But then again he has not drunk my blood so how connected could we get? Would it effect the bond I had with Eric? Why was I feeling worried about whether or not it would tamper with the bond? I didn't want to go back to Eric. This was a leap of faith. I hear the door creaking open.
He walks up to me and I place my hands on his chest.
I close my eyes and breathe in deeply preparing my answer. "Yes," I tell him.
He clasps my hands in his and leads me back to the couch and sits down. He opens his legs and motions for me to sit between them. I hesitate briefly but I sit down in front of him and lean back against his chest stiffly. Apart from the flying experience, it is a strange sensation to be so physically close to someone again after months of keeping people at arms length.
"Are you ready?" he asks me.
I turn my head slightly and nod.
He raises his wrist to his mouth and a second later I hear a crunching sound. In a quick motion he brings his wrist to my mouth and I latch on.
I begin sucking and soon the blood starts to flow in my mouth. It is an indescribable feeling as I instantly start to feel and taste his blood. It is almost as though I can feel the magic and power of his blood flowing through my entire body. The taste is different as well. While Eric's blood tasted sweet and spicy to me, the taste of his was tenfold to that of Eric's. I feel as though I am in a delightful euphoric state of mind as I drink in the blood from his wrist.
I continue to suck on his wrist unaware that the wound has already closed. It is only when he tries to move his wrist away that I gradually become aware of my surroundings again. I relax against him breathing in deeply with a lazy smile on my face as he rubs his hands along my arms.
"That was amazing," I say looking over my shoulder. Amazing in a non-sexual way. It was unlike my blood exchanges with Eric when it always turned sexual during and afterwards.
"I didn't feel anything inappropriate..." I say suddenly blushing. I also realize that I don't feel a large bulge behind my butt. Maybe he didn't care for me that way or he didn't find me attractive enough to get him aroused. I start to feel disappointed.
"I tapered those feelings back," he says.
"You can do that?" I ask.
"Yes, unlike other vampires I can control my emotions quite easily and the emotions of others if I choose to. I didn't suppress those feelings because I am not attracted to you, quite the contrary. I knew that you would regret your actions if anything sexual occurred between us."
I sit up and position myself on the couch to face him. He was right. Although I thought he was probably one of the two hottest guys on the planet I was nowhere near ready to be intimate with anyone. I also take in the new information that he has just supplied about himself. Wait did he just say he was attracted to me?
"Have you ever influenced my emotions before?" I ask thinking back to our first encounter on a dance floor.
"No, this was the first time. And I promise that I will not attempt to do so in the future," he tells me.
I breathe in a sigh of relief. "That's good to know," I say smiling at him. Although he probably wouldn't need to influence my emotions if he wanted me to desire him. He oozed sensuality.
"How do you feel?" he asks looking at me curiously.
"I feel fantastic, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders," I respond. "You can't sense my emotions?"
"I can, but I wanted to hear it from you," he says to me smiling.
I smile back and then I look around the room feeling more intensely aware of our surroundings. I can hear the crackling of the wood more sharply burning in the fireplace. I can even hear the sounds of crickets and the steady stream of water trickling from the hot springs. My sense of smell is even heightened. I can smell the pine and fresh air from outside and the food that I had cooked hours earlier. For months I felt like there was a dark cloud over my head threatening to consume me, now my mind felt more freer and clearer.
"Would you like to go on a short trip with me? It is a wonderful evening and the sky is very clear tonight." he says.
I turn to look back at him. "Is it far?"
"No not very far. I would have to fly you there," he responds.
I think about it for a moment. Due to my fear of heights I would have said no, but now the idea of being far up from the ground didn't bother me. I wonder if I was cured of my fears as well. "Okay," I answer.
He tells me to put on something warm and he grabs the same blanket I used during the first time. Afterwards we head outside. For a June evening the weather is cool. I wrap the blanket around my body and he picks me up.
We ascend into the sky and I look around dazzled by the dark blue sky and the twinkling stars. The moon is shining down onto the acres of large trees and tall mountains. We fly for about ten minutes until we reach a clear area of just tall green grass. We land on a spot where the grass appears to have been cut.
"Marius, did you cut the grass here?" I ask.
"Yes. I knew there would be a time when I would bring you here," he says, his blue eyes twinkling in the night.
"You're always so sure of yourself," I tease laughing lightly.
He sets the blanket on the ground and invites me to sit down beside him. I look around. The view is absolutely breathtaking. I can clearly see the snowy mountain peaks in the background and our glacier lake surrounded by plush green trees.
"It's beautiful here," I tell him. I begin to feel guilty for not truly appreciating this natural beauty before.
"It is okay Sookie," he says bringing me back from my thoughts. "You were in pain."
Tears well up in my eyes. For the first time in months I shed happy tears.
"Thank you for all that you have done, for rescuing me from those vampires, for bringing me here to this place that is like heaven on earth," my voice cracking up.
He holds my hand. "Your gratitude is not necessary. It is I who should be thanking you," he looks down at our adjoined hands then into my eyes again. "For many years I have been alone with only Marten as my source for comfort and joy. I have witnessed many horrifying events and have seen the destruction that humanity have brought upon themselves to the point that I have had enough. Most humans and vampires are dark creatures with no kindness, inner strength and compassion. It is rare to meet someone with a kind gentle heart. But you possess these qualities in large abundance. I knew that from the first time I looked into your eyes. It is people like you that make living in this world bearable."
My tears continue to flow down my cheeks as I try to figure out a response. "I'll try not to disappoint you then," I lightly laugh wiping my cheeks with my free hand.
"You would never disappoint me," he says smiling. "Would you like to hear some stories?"
"Yes that would be nice," I tell him.
We lie back on the blanket, looking up at the stars. He starts pointing out certain stars and telling me a different story for each star. He tells me that this is his method on how he catalogues all the memories of his long life. He points out the star that he first saw when he was made a vampire. He tells that story. He shows me another star and tells me the tale of how he made Marten into his child. We lie there holding hands for three hours as he tells me one fascinating story after another until I begin to grow weary. He takes me back to our cabin and lays me on the bed. I can feel him removing my shoes and putting the comforter over me, then I fall asleep.
I wake up in the morning feeling a new zest for life. I go to the basin and pour some water to wash my face until something in the mirror catches me eye. I observe my hair which now seems more fuller and shinier than before. I look at my eyes which are more sparkly and vibrant. There are no longer dark circles underneath my eyes. My skin is glowing. I lean in closer and notice that the creases and the few aging spots on my face from months of stress and agony have now disappeared. I examine my body. Surprisingly my old scars that Eric's blood could not heal have gone away. Marius' blood not only healed me emotionally but also physically.
I wash my face and start on breakfast. As I cook scrambled eggs I start to think back to everything that has happened with Eric. Marius was right, those painful memories were still there resting in my mind but this time as I think back, the pain is no longer overwhelming. True I can still sense the pain but it was like I had made peace with it. That I was no longer going to let it defeat me. Would I be able to forgive Eric for what he did? Yes but the trust and deep love that I felt for him was gone. I still loved him but not with the same intense passion that I had felt before. He had been my whole world. I had let my entire existence and happiness revolve around him. As I thought about it more, I was almost glad that this happened. If it did not then my life would continue to have revolved only around him. My growing dependency upon him would have continued. I also realize that I would have continued to become even more miserable with him because of his marriage despite all my internal rationalizing that we could get through it.
I also wanted him to be happy. I still felt upset that he cheated on me but if being with other women was what he wanted then for some crazy reason I hoped that was what he had. I had no doubt that he loved me but I was denying him from being his true self. If he wanted me with him and accept what he was doing then that was something I could not do. I still wanted complete love and devotion, something that he was apparently not capable of giving me.
I eat my breakfast quietly having a new outlook on life and determination. I wasn't going to wallow in self-pity anymore; I was going to enjoy all that life had to offer even though I couldn't go home just yet. It would also be difficult for me to live my life when there were constantly vampires after me which was another reason why I didn't mind being here. Here I had found paradise.