Fandom isn't mine. It's fanfiction.

I forgot I was writing this. Can you guys believe it? Took four months to remember! UGH I'm sorry guys. Here's…

Chapter Nine

Yuki

Tears were stinging at my eyes and I didn't bother to wipe them away. I felt pain deep in my bones and it was seeping through my blood like an infection. For a fleeting moment, I understood what Kyo felt like when he'd wanted to die. Thankfully, it was a short moment and was easily crushed and discarded. I was stronger than that. I had plenty to live for. I wasn't about to throw it all away just because of something that inept feline said.

I sank to my bed, scrubbing away at the tears in my eyes. I was getting fed up with Kyo's attitude but at the same time, I finally started to wonder just why Kyo felt so desperate to escape. I knew that other cursed Cats had committed suicide but I didn't think that Kyo was so weak.

Maybe there's more to it than that, I thought. Maybe it's not simply weakness but something deeper within the curse. It occurred to me that Kyo hadn't looked at all happy for months. I hadn't paid much attention to it as I really couldn't care less about Kyo's feelings back then.

What struck me was how bizarre he'd been acting ever since I stopped him from jumping. He'd been having mood swings before the incident at the cliff but they were far more pronounced and rapid now. His temper was just as violent but he hadn't attempted to start a physical fight with me. I knew, of course, that having ulcers meant picking fights would be far more dangerous than usual, but Kyo didn't seem to hold his wellbeing in any kind of regard nowadays.

I was confused. Why was Kyo acting so different? What was the real reason behind his suicidal gesture? And how am I involved?

I wanted to know the answers to all those questions and more that I could not yet unlock from my mind. I knew there was something deeper there, something beyond the surface of the cat and rat hatred. Something about Kyo's anger seemed more sad than hateful.

I was bound and determined to figure it out.

The following week, I stayed in my room doing as much of my homework as I could to quell the anxious feelings swirling around in my stomach. I had to keep busy because if I didn't, my mind would wander down the hall. When I'd walked by Kyo's room an hour prior, his door had been closed and it hadn't sat right with me since I saw it. I kept half standing up from my desk before deciding to leave him be. He'd already promised to speak to someone and I was sure I'd hear something if he did anything drastic. But the more I listened, the more the silence felt emptier than usual. It was as if the lack of sound was confirmation that something dreadful was about to happen.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood and walked down the hall.

I promised myself that I would only listen at the door for sounds of movement or breathing to reassure myself and then I'd walk back down the hall and be done with the whole nonsense but when I didn't hear a single peep coming from Kyo's room, I got anxious.

I rapped on the door with my right hand and waited for Kyo to respond. I heard some sort of muttering reply, either "go away" or "who is it?" but I couldn't be sure. I grasped the doorknob and took a deep breath. I tried to relax my face into an expressionless mask before I opened the door.

Kyo didn't look up at me when I walked in. In fact, he made no move to acknowledge my presence whatsoever. He stayed still, lying on his bed, gaze turned sightlessly to the ceiling.

"Kyo?" I said. I thought I saw a slight twitch, but I could have imagined it. "Are you alright?"

Kyo half shrugged his left shoulder but continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Kyo, you're scaring me."

He shrugged again.

I sighed and sat beside him on his bed, leaning over him so my face would be in the way of his line of vision. He didn't flinch; just kept staring at me without really seeing.

"You're scaring me," I repeated. "What's going on in your head right now?"

Kyo grunted.

I felt a sharp jolt of desperation. I needed to get him to talk to me. "Please, tell me?" I begged. I was beyond worrying about my pride at the moment. I just needed to get some sort of response.

"Nothing," said Kyo.

I scoffed. "If it's nothing, you wouldn't be staring like that."

"I mean… I don't feel anything."

Panic rushed stabbed me in the heart. "Nothing at all?"

Kyo shrugged.

I grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him upward, staring deeply into that expressionless face. It was all wrong. Kyo is supposed to be full of vibrancy and life. He shouldn't be staring like that without an expression. His eyes should be lit up with some sort of passionate emotion, not staring straight ahead, not really seeing what they're looking at.

"I guess… I feel something," he said. His eyes suddenly focusing on me.

"Oh?" I should have been relieved but it was somehow scarier for him to feel something than nothing.

Kyo nodded. "I feel you."

"Kyo, what-?"

"Can you just pretend for me?" he asked. He reached up and touched my back. "Can you pretend you don't hate me for a few minutes? Just a little bit, okay?"

"What are you talking about?"

Kyo slowly wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Just pretend not to hate me… just for a little while so… so I can feel something again."

I held him tight. "I don't hate you," I said. "I don't. I really don't." I squeezed harder, my nose stinging with tears and my heart clenched painfully against the despair coming off of him in waves. "I mean it; I'm not pretending."

Kyo shuddered. "Thanks," he said. "It'd be easier to hate you if you weren't such a nice person."

"I don't understand."

Kyo nuzzled my neck with his nose, sending a chill down my spine. "I can't hate you because you're nice. You have every right to hate me and even though you really hate me, you can pretend not to because you're nice."

"No I'm not pretending, Kyo!" I grasped him by the shoulders and pushed him away to look in his eyes. The expressionless mask fell away to reveal a hardened look of agony.

"It's okay."

"Kyo…"

"You're making everything hard." He stared down at his lap and I saw tears hit his knees. "You should just let me die. Please, just let me die. It hurts so much. I just want to die."

"Kyo, please. Don't talk that way."

"I can't stand it. I don't want to live because you hate me. So just let me go."

"Damnit, listen to me! I don't hate you! I want to be your friend!"

Kyo stared at me, shock in his eyes instead of pain. "What? Y-you what?"

"I... I just want to be your friend." I was shaking, anxiety and fear were coursing through my body but I knew I had to tell him the truth now; Kyo's life depended on it. "I always wanted to be your friend. Ever since we were little and I saw you on the sidewalk. I just wanted to tell you that your hair was really pretty. You were my first crush, Kyo. I wanted to get to know you and be your friend. I envied you. I wanted to be just like you. In fact, I think I might have… I might have l-…" I couldn't continue.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" asked Kyo.

I was scared now. He was clearly angry or laughing at me. I wasn't sure which.

"D-do you… do you still want to be my friend?" Kyo asked.

I looked up at him, in shock by how uncertain he sounded. At first, I wasn't sure if I did want to be his friend. A moment later, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did not want to be his friend. I wanted to be so much more. "Yes," I lied because it was the only real way I could get my feelings across. "I do very much."

I knew I could probably never have him for what I wanted him to be. I felt that fleeting crush from childhood that I had thought I'd been rid of, crash over me. I knew with every fiber of my being that if I got the chance, I would have Kyo for my own.

But I'd settle for friendship. If that was all I could have, I'd savor it.

Oh but, God I want him to be mine.

In this dream, I'm flying. I'm not sure where I'm headed and not really sure I care either. The road below me and the sky above me are shimmering with unspoken promises of ages passed. I'm floating along above rivers and lakes, further and further away from what I can only guess is danger or confinement. The air tastes wonderful; it's as if it has recently rained and the heavens were cleaner.

The feeling of freedom lifted my soul and I took flight ever higher.

When I reached my destination, I saw a long corridor. As I walked down, I saw paintings. On one side, former cursed rats were laughing jovially and pointing across the hall. They each pointed to a cursed cat, their faces contorted in agony and occasionally bleeding to death.

I shivered and picked up my pace. At the end of the hallway, a beautiful golden light was signaling the end of a dangerous and unfair journey. I knew that once I reached that miraculous glow, I'd be free to forge my own destiny and leave the cursed existence behind.

The image of a person became clear in the light. As I drew nearer, comprehension dawned and I recognized the face of Kyo. My heart skipped a beat and I felt euphoria seeping into my pores. Every breath I took filled my blood with a sense of intense happiness and longing.

I reached out to Kyo and he grasped my hands. "From now on," he said. "We're starting over. We'll break that old promise and forget all about it. From now on, you and I are free from a promise we never really made and we can begin to heal a broken bond."

I fell into his arms and wept for joy. The feeling blooming in my chest was indescribable. I imagined that it was a deep, unwavering love; it was more than that. This was the feeling of being bound to one person; the unshakable knowledge that this was my soul mate and his heart was my home.

The next day, things were far more normal than I'd expected. Kyo still seemed a bit out of it, but he was otherwise more himself than I'd seen in weeks. He even seemed genuinely happy when Tohru complimented his appearance. I hid a scowl of jealousy that she'd managed to make him smile with such ease.

Then he looked at me and his smile turned slightly shy. "Yuki looks good, too, huh?" said Kyo.

Tohru flushed but it was nothing compared to the blush that crossed my face. I turned away from him and faced the path, trying, and failing to keep an embarrassed smile from my lips.

"O-of course!" Tohru chimed. She giggled. "Yuki-kun looks nice this morning too."

"Thank you, Honda-san," I said. I cleared my throat and we continued our walk up the path. Tohru babbled happily to Kyo about something and he responded in his usual way; attentive but short responses. I remained quiet the rest of the walk to school, wondering again and again why Kyo had pointed out that I looked good.

When I reached first hour, I decided not to ponder it further and instead be thankful that he'd complimented me at all. I'd have to keep small words and displays of affection locked deep in my heart to keep me company. I realized that Kyo would never return my feelings but if I remembered his compliments, I could hold them close and let them fill me with happiness.

Every once in a while, I would glance at him during school and he shot me a grin. Each time, my heart would skip a beat or two and my stomach would flutter. I wondered if it was possible for him to have any idea what he was doing to me.

Right before lunch, as I was heading over to Tohru's desk to eat –it was nearing the end of December and thus, far too cold to eat outside- Kyo surprised me by falling in step and even sitting beside me to begin eating.

"Hey, orange-y!" said Ou. "You seem pretty happy today…"

Kyo just shrugged and started eating from the bento Tohru had packed him that morning. "It's a good day," he said.

"Great to have you back," she said. "I was worried there for a minute. Thought I'd have to pound your senses back."

Kyo rolled his eyes.

"Yes," Hana agreed. "His waves seem to be far happier and less naïve. I'm glad for whatever brought on the change." She glanced at me and smiled as if she knew something but didn't elaborate.

"Yes!" said Tohru. "I'm so glad that Kyo is back to his old self."

Kyo blushed slightly but didn't say anything.

The three girls started a conversation about shopping or something equally as feminine and I fell silent, content to just eat my lunch and steal glances at Kyo every so often.

Kyo

Flirting was a lot harder than I thought. I complimented Yuki that morning to see how he'd react but he didn't even say thanks. Then, I kept smiling at him but he didn't seem to understand and he started acting all nervous instead. I just wish I knew how to flirt. It would make the whole thing a lot easier.

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not to try and get Yuki to like me. But I kind of wanted to see what he'd do if I flirted with him. I didn't have the first clue how to do it though and I was getting frustrated. I'd read books and stuff where guys and girls flirted with each other and tried to run through the conversations in my head.

Tohru told us she was spending the night at Wave Girl's house because the next day was the beginning of break. Somehow, I'd forgotten all about the New Year coming up and I groaned inwardly when she mentioned it.

Anyway, so that gave me the perfect opportunity to try flirting with Yuki again on our way home. He was quiet when we reached the forest so I decided to try another compliment. "Y'know, I really like your hair," I said. I realized right away that it was a stupid thing to say and hoped Yuki wouldn't tease me for it.

"What?" said Yuki. He seemed distracted.

"I… I like your haircut," I said.

"Oh, thanks…" he muttered.

I chewed on my lower lip. "Uh… do you wanna do something later?" I asked.

"Like what?" he asked. He glanced over at me for a quick second but looked away really quickly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Tohru won't be making dinner tonight so I just thought that we could go get something?"

"Me, you and Shigure?"

I frowned. "No, just… you and me."

Yuki froze in his tracks and turned to stare at me. I stopped and looked down at my feet. "Are you asking me on a date?" he asked.

"Uh… not if you don't want me to!" I said. "I just… I just thought if you, you know… maybe?"

Yuki was quiet for another few seconds but soon started laughing. "Oh, Kyo… that's just… I thought you just wanted to be friends."

I stomped off. "You didn't have to laugh at me about it!" I snarled.

Yuki hurriedly caught up with me and grabbed me by the arm. I yanked it out of his grip and started walking away. "I don't want to be just friends either," he said.

I stopped and turned around. "Huh?"

"I like you, Kyo…"

My heart stuttered to a halt. "R-really?" I was so happy I could puke. But I decided it would probably be a bad idea.

"Really," said Yuki.

Holishit!

I couldn't believe it! I'd decided to flirt with him the night before just for fun. I didn't think he'd respond. I was feeling so much better when I woke up that morning that it made it easier to be nice to him.

"Kyo?"

"Hnn?" I looked at him. He was smiling really happily.

"I would love to go on a date with you." He shyly touched my hand and I felt a million butterflies erupt in my stomach. I wanted to laugh, or cry or something. Or… I looked into Yuki's penetrating violet gaze. Or maybe I should kiss him…

As soon as I thought that, I felt myself drifting toward Yuki. Yuki froze as I brought my face closer to his. My nose brushed against his cheek and I could feel his hot breath ghosting across my face in short pants. I brought my hand up to rest on his shoulder and pulled him toward me slightly before brushing my lips across the corner of his mouth. Yuki's breath hitched, but he didn't pull away. In fact, he turned his head toward me slightly so when I leaned forward my lips were pressed firmly to his.

Yuki

Kyo was kissing me. I was kissing Kyo. Kyo and I were kissing. The feeling that erupted in my chest was akin to what I imagined whenever I read romantic novels when a person has their first kiss. That's when I realized, this was my first kiss and I was unsure of whether or not I was doing it properly. Kyo's hands were resting on my shoulders and I realized as I kissed him back that I should probably be touching him too so I let my hands rest on his waist. When he pulled away, he wasn't meeting my gaze and he had the most adorable flush to his cheeks.

I wanted to kiss him again.

"I guess we should go home and change…" Kyo muttered before releasing me. "Can't go on a date in our uniforms, right?"

I let my hands fall to my sides and returned his bashful grin with a smile of my own. "No, I don't suppose we should."

Kyo grasped my hand and gave it a brief squeeze before releasing it rather quickly. I sighed happily as we walked, excited that I was going to go on my first real date.