Ok, here we go again. It is now time to slip briefly into the odd and horrifying realm of what some could call Aunt Marge's dreams…

Chapter Four:

Aunt Marge's Worst Nightmare

Uncle Vernon, Harry, and Aunt Marge all sat around the dinner table, in a very polite fashion. Quiet, calm, and with just a hint of conversation. Naturally, this conversation containing topics of which poked fun at and bad-talked Harry. What else could they do, have an actual intellectual conversation? Of course not. The topic of choice: Harry's parents. "And what of his father?" questioned Aunt Marge. Harry stiffened in his chair with anger. There was a short silence and Uncle Vernon took the opportunity to answer. "His father's unemployed." Marge nodded in complete understanding. "Of course," she replied. "I never expected any better of him. I don't think the man could ever accomplish anything." Harry quickly stood up, his chair toppling over from the force, his fists slamming against the table. "That's a lie!" he shouted. "My father's a great man…and he's not unemployed!!" Another silence caused by Harry's sudden furious reaction ensued before Aunt Marge returned the sickening peace. "If he's not unemployed, then what does he do?"

Just then, outside the house, there came the shouting of a man's voice. Utterly confused as to why someone would be shouting on the perfectly quiet street of Privet Dr. the Dursleys and Marge walked outside to inspect the commotion. There, on their front porch was a taller, older looking Harry with something that looked a lot like a child's homemade lemonade stand. "Hot air balloon rides! Hot air balloon rides! Come on a hot air balloon ride!" Uncle Vernon and Aunt Marge gaped in horror as they saw a grinning James Potter, sitting on their porch, attempting to get them to go on a hot air balloon ride. "What are you doing in front of my house and causing all this commotion?!" fumed Uncle Vernon, his face turning red. James's grin grew wider. "I'm selling people hot air balloon rides. You wanna go on one?" Aunt Marge pursed her lips together. "Sir," she said, attempting to remain calm. "You are nothing but a scam. You're sitting in a child's wooden stand, saying that you're selling balloon rides, when you don't even have a hot air balloon."

"Ho ho, that's what you think!" James said brightly, his grin not fading. Almost out of nowhere, he brought out a large tank of helium. And after swiftly shoving the hose into Aunt Marge's mouth, he began to fill her up with helium. No. Not again. She had been a balloon one too many times in her lifetime already. Marge began to feel her feet lift off the ground as she inflated more and more, and her eyes widened with pure fear as she flew higher and higher. It wasn't long until James then tied ropes around her wrists and ankles, with the ropes attached to a large basket. James stepped back to look at his handiwork and brought his hand to his chin in a pondering position. "Well, it's not the best looking balloon, but it'll do," he decided. "Now, where's the couple that requested the hot air balloon for their honeymoon?"

Uncle Vernon crumpled his face in anger. "There's no one that wanted a bloody hot air balloon! Now let her down, or I swear I'll—"

"Now Vernon, don't jump to conclusions," said a female's voice from behind him. "We wanted the balloon ride." Marge watched as the red in his face faded as he turned around and saw that the voice came from her brother's wife, Petunia. She then noticed that the tall, bony woman was accompanied with another man. No, not him. Not the man that was drunk in Vernon's house in chapter one. Yes, it was Severus Snape. James cordially opened a door in the side of the basket, giving an elaborate bow. Snape assisted her sister-in-law in her entry, then stepped in himself, handing James Potter some golden coins, which the man pocketed gladly.

"Alright, now to get higher, pull on that lever, to come down, push that button," he instructed, pointing to a panel in the basket. Now have fun! I'll get you started." He began to untie the ropes that had apparently been keeping her tethered to the earth as she slowly began to rise.

'No! Oh no!' She thought desperately, finding she was so full of helium that her voice was too high to hear. Marge rose past the houses, above the street lamps, higher and higher as the two lovebirds stared, lost in each other's eyes. It was when her eyes slid up past the first cloud that Petunia spoke.

"Oh…Severus…"

"Tuney-love," Snape murmured in response, and Marge swiftly closed her eyes, but could unfortunately (for her and the authors) not cover her ears and so the kissing noises drifted up through the air as they sailed onward, uninterrupted by plane or storm. How had this happened? She had thought Petunia had more sense than that! All she wanted was for this to end.

Her salvation came in the form of Harry Potter suddenly appearing as if from thin air. He was riding on a broomstick and appeared to have something in his hand. What was that…?

Marge's eyes widened in horror as she realized he was holding a ruby-encrusted, dangerously sharp sword. And she was a hot air balloon. The two newlyweds didn't seem to have noticed and she tried vainly to shout a warning- she needed one of them to move the balloon! But the helium made this impossible.

Harry Potter had a manic grin on his face and she frantically took back everything bad she had ever said about him and his parents, and stretched out his sword-carrying arm. Frightened tears began to leak from her eyes as Marge had her last thought: 'My poor puppies!' Then P-

The End. No more Aunt Marge.