Hermione Granger and The Kiss of Time
by Lousy Poet Automaton
xxx AN: My anxiety has exploded beyond all bounds. A fairly well-connected literary agent has actually asked to read a full manuscript of mine. It will probably come to nothing. But it's further along than I've gotten before, and considering I've only submitted to 3 agents so far... maybe my chances aren't too loathesomely horrible.
xxx Chapter 1: Vicarious Experience
Hermione's heart did not stop when she first met Harry. There was no sudden recognition, or a spark that ignited a passion beyond all things.
She was still a kid.
Instead, there was a familiarity she sank into the longer she stayed around him. She was still uncomfortable and awkward around others, still driven only by her own personal achievement as quantifiably measured by grades, still had difficulty relating. Except with Harry, who did not seem to mind her slip-ups, her occasional moments of Slytherin-esque arrogance and ambition.
In many ways, her social position at Hogwarts was even worse than it was at her old school. Not only was she still a nerd, now she was also a mudblood, and not only that, because the blasted hat had dropped her into the wrong bloody house, there were far fewer fellow geeks to lose herself among.
The ideals of the House of Lions had appealed to her, but it seemed that the youthful interpretation of the house's desired qualities resulted in the sort of environment she loathed - one where popularity, impulsiveness, rule-breaking and 'fun' advanced one's status more than personal achievement and the quiet courage of doing the right thing. No, individuals got ahead by yelling about it and having no self-control, by impulsive, almost destructive behavior. Rules were not for following for the sake of the whole, they were only an inconvenience.
The only worse house would have been Slytherin, where status was about which family one was from. Though sometimes Hermione doubted even that - for all that the snakes talked a good game about looking down on muggles and the muggleborn, there was no group more willing to compromise their principles in order to get ahead. Perhaps she might have been loathed for her blood, but they would have quickly gotten over that and used her to accumulate as many points and to improve their academic standing as much as possible.
After all, she was still only tolerated for that same purpose in Gryffindor, except that they were self-righteous shites about it. And, God, the way they talked about her behind her back...
No doubt about it, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff would have been better for her. The ravens because nothing mattered more than the mind, and the badgers because it took more strength to be quiet and kind, to be loyal, than it took to be anything the other three houses looked for.
She managed to think these things even as she struggled to get her ridiculous sobbing and boo-hooing under control. So undignified! Had she not spent years getting tougher? Getting ostracized, getting made fun of, getting her bags moved around, getting tripped in hallways... Why had she let her guard down here in the magical world?
Why had she thought it would be different in a world where a significant fraction of the people were taken up with the ideals of another Hitler?
"Stuh-stuh-stupid!" she moaned, wiping angrily at her face.
They are just children.
In the mirror, her reflection was the same face she had. Reddened, be-snotted and teary. But the eyes...
Hermione blinked and gazed around herself. The water from the tap was still flowing, but slower than molasses. Behind her, the door was being opened, but it was moving at a glacial pace - while she watched it, it seemed to be still. Only when she glanced away now and then could she tell that it was opening.
In the gap, in the reflection, she could see one of those brilliant gemstone eyes.
"Oh. I thought this accidental magic stuff would stop happening once I came here..."
I am a little more than accidental magic.
"You are totally a figment of my imagination. I hope. Unless I am crazy even for a witch..."
The expression on the face of the other her softened. She raised a hand and pressed it against the glass. Hermione put a hand up to match it, and was not surprised by the warmth she felt from the other side.
This was not first or the second time this other had visited her. She had lost count of the times since she was a child.
Good. You are becoming calm.
Hermione was still miserable. "I'm still going to be a mess when this bit's over and Harry sees me."
Nobody is strong all the time. You will need him now. But some day, it will be your turn to be there when he needs you.
"All anyone's going to need me for is to do their bloody homework," she hissed.
The other raised a hand, and made a gesture that evaporated the tears, and flushed the extra blood from her cheeks and eyes and nose.
"Don't do that!"
Why not?
"Because they're my tears! If you keep vanishing them like this, how will I know if they were ever real?"
The smile was small. It was also sad. But it was warm and accepting too. It did not fit on her kid's face. It was a timeless expression. It was love. Affection. There was no fighting that. She could not make herself want to.
Now, do you feel better yet?
A shuddering breath, and then it was free. The bad feelings, the resentment. "You mustn't keep fixing these things for me," Hermione said. "How will I ever learn to do it myself?"
Just once in a while, I promise. Now, Harry and Ron are about to join you in here -
"That, that dunderhead! Why I ought to - "
They will be followed by a troll.
Hermione gawked. Shrieked, "What?"
They are going to save you, little one. Even if you do nothing else.
Getting saved by Harry Potter, who had never been cruel to her? Acceptable. Being a damsel in distress was a loathesome thought, but it was not too bad if it was Harry she was being a damsel for. Ron 'I'll mock you except for when you do my homework' Weasely? Unacceptable! Not even as a witness!
The other seemed to read that on her face, and laughed.
That's more like it, little one. Now, I cannot hold this moment for much longer. You have a few seconds yet to think about how, perhaps, you might join in rescuing yourself.
The moment of panic was over. She was composed. Her mind was flashing through a hundred possible ideas. She would figure something out. That is what her mind was for, now that it was not overwhelmed by the handicap of overwhelming emotion. She had her wand in hand. She would be ready.
"Thanks. Um. When will I see you again?"
Perhaps by the end of the school year. Never doubt in yourself, Hermione Granger. You are stronger than you know. You are already smart, and kind, and loyal. You are where you are because others will need you to find the lion inside. Starting now.
Okay. She could do this!
xxx end ch 1