Heyya Babezz! I'm backkk! U Suck Flame me all you fucking want! Because I dont give a fuck! Wooo! Thanks to Roxypony for betaing, because I wanted to get this out right away! SB1 owns Ronnie and Roxy owns Kade!

Eternal Love~ LB54

This morning would be my last day with my family. Most would say it was a sad day, but I was one of those people who always made the best of everything.But despite my optimistic outlook, the reality had finally set in. What lay ahead of me was no small thing... I was about to become dead to everyone I knew and loved. I prayed it would be worth the pain I was about to put them all through.

To keep myself thinking about the future rather than the past, I plotted out how to make a seamless exit from the world of the living. Something exotic, but simple. I was researching suicides, to look for one where a body usually wasn't found. I decided on making it look like I jumped off a bridge. I'd drop a hoodie and a boot into the water, leave a suicide note on my desk and then go with the group. What will they think when they can't find my body? Will they ever give up searching? Will they be able to accept that I'm not coming back? No, no... can't think like that... I can't turn back now, I can just see my parents watching me feed on a helpless bystander. Then I would be growing up behind bars for the rest of my life. Which would be very very long.

Sure I was scared of what I was going to face as a half vampire. What I was going to face will be different than most things I have faced, yes. But I was fast at learning, especially when it involved violence. Before I left I wanted to get a book on pyrokinetics. I wasn't sure what I was exactly, but the thing I think I am is just a plain fire user. I printed up a few pictures. While my printer hummed with life, I glanced at my clock. In fire red 5:53 glared back at me. I was exausted, and I heard shuffling from across the hall. I got up, and carefully opened the door. I cringed at a high pitched squeak my door made. I saw Ryan turn. He was up too.

"What are you doing up?" I whispered.

"Nothing." He replied quickly. Too quickly.

"Liar. Now tell me what you were doing, or I'll beat the shit out of you" I placed my hands on my hips and started to tap my foot. "You should be able to tell me. Unless you wre spying on me. But I know you wouldn't do that. Would you, Ryan?" He had a guilty look on his face.

"I was spying on you. He mumbled. I rolled my eyes.

"How? I would have heard you." I don't remember hearing his door open. His eyes trailed to the TV and I raised an eyebrow.

"I have a camera in your room. I know your going to commit suicide tomorrow and Rae please don't. Please." His voice broke my heart.

"It's too late Ryan. Just make sure Monica doesn't take up the friends space on the news, save that for the girls." I felt a tear start to form, and I ignored it. A few seconds later I felt it dry up. I saw he wanted to protest, but he thought better of it. He knew not to mess with me when my mind was made up.

"I'll make sure that little cunt is no where near your funeral Rae." He hugged me close. I pulled back.

"Wait a minute. You have a video camera in my room? Whose idea was that?" I placed my hands on my hips.

"Aidan. He has had a major crush on you since we were six." I gaped.

"Aidan? You're kidding me." Aidan was my crush from when I was six until I was 14.

"Why would I kid about that. To tell the truth I think he only came over to stare at you when you weren't looking. He convinced me to put the camera in for safety reasons. He was afraid you'd be kidnapped or something. I got one that doesn't record, because I really don't want to see you change." I blinked a few times, and whacked Ryan on the head.

"You've known Aidan liked me for ages, but never told me he Liked me! I told you I liked him multiple times! What the fuck!" I fumed.

"I didn't want my best friend boning my sister!" He replied and I screamed.

"What the fuckkkk! Why couldn't I date him! Mom and Dad love him like he's their kid, he is a great guy Ry! Why the fuck would you do that to me! I let you date Dylan, Kay and Callie with no fucking problem!"

"Why does it even matter? You're killing yourself tomorrow anyways!" He hissed and I kicked his dresser and stomped across the hall into my room and slammed the door. I usually wouldn't have cared, but I was stressed today and well I was in one of those moods where you can pick a fight with anyone at any time. I slid up against my door and ran some fingers through my chocolate curls. I walked over to my bed and collapsed onto it and passed out.

Despite my turbulent thoughts, I managed approximately 7 hours of sleep. It was 2:30 PM when I opened my eyes. For one weird second, I forgot what was supposed to happen today... then it all came flooding back, and my heart began to race. To temporarily distract myself from the task ahead of me, I busied myself by checking my bag, hoping it would pass the time so I had more time in the last day of my house. I quickly added a picture of Ry, my parents and I. I grabbed some clothes and got dressed. I was wearing a pair of black leggings, a long loose forest green shirt that had a scoop neckline. I buckled a big belt around my waist. Over that I layered a hoodie and put my hair in a ponytail. I pulled on my old brown Uggs and tucked my black combat boots in my bag - when the time came, I'd throw the old Uggs into the river and put the combats on.

I walked down the stairs -for some reason it seemed to take a lot longer than usual. My dad greeted me at the bottom, and I wordlessly wrapped my arms around him, the words last time echoing inside my head. I was so glad he couldn't hear my thoughts at that moment. He hugged me back, confused. I walked into the basement and hugged my mom. I saw Jinx do a figure eight around my legs. I tried to go outside but she mewed in protest.

"Mee-oof-oww!" She mewed and I smiled.

"Jinx babe I wouldn't forget you." I reached down and stroked her head.

"What about me? Your own brother Rae." I turned to him and rolled my eyes.

"Well I thought last night was our good bye." I replied.

"Whatever." He grumbled and I turned to him and sighed. I didnt want to leave my brother like this.

"Ryan did I invite you to a party with all the kins horses and all the kings men?" I asked him with sarcasm on my voice.

"No. What the hell-" I interupted him and said;

"Then why are you being humpty dumpty and sitting on that wall when I could be giving you a hug?" I teased him, he smiled and I hugged my twin. I stood back. "Just to let you know I think we're the worst pair of twins ever. We are nothing alike." I smiled and he laughed.

"I aggree. But I think thats what makes us special." I winked at him and turned to the door.

Finally, I stepped outside to see Babooshka sitting peacefully on the porch swing . I sat down beside her, and we wrapped our arms into a loving embrace. I breathed the sweet scent of her perfume, strong vanilla, usually it made my nose burn and my eyes water, but this time it didn't. As excited as I was to begin the rest of my life, a small childlike part of me wished this moment could last forever.

"I'll miss you the most, if I'm completely honest with myself. Oh and I can't wear your dress. I'm doing a bridge suicide, so they dont have to find my body." I whispered and she laughed and rubbed my back.

"I'll see you on 54th later. I'm bringing that dress, and god damn it you are going to wear it at one point." She smiled and I turned and ran up the stairs.I pulled my rumpled "suicide" note out of my pocket... I didn't know writing words could be so painful. The page began to blur as I read it one more time:

Dear my family and friends,

The truth is this world is just so overwhelming, I can't take it. I get blamed for everything, I have no sense of selfcontrol and I hurt the people I love. I know everyone will think I never showed any signs of depression, but I did in secret. I cut my wrists, and covered the scars up with makeup. By the time you read this, well it will be too late. You probably won't find my body, heh I'll be swimming with the fishes my the time you do.

I remember and cherish every moment with you guys, and I don't regret breaking Monisluts ankle. (Mom and Dad that is Monica for your information :))

Love~ Your little Rae of Sunshine

I took one final look at my room... the base of my entire childhood. Memories smiled at me from every wall, the one where I drew on with sharpie marker, the one where I punched a hole in and stuffed my barbies in it, and my closet, where all of my friends tried on my clothes, even though they never fit them. And I smiled at the stain on my carpet where Callie spilled and I tried to clean it up. I ended up making it worse.

I allowed two lonely tear to fall from my eyes, then I sucked it up and turned away. I don't cry, I am a Rae of Sun. And the sun doesn't cry. I climbed out my window slyly. I landed on the ground feet first. A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step...silly metaphors.My journey began with blood.

I walked down the path, a bike path with pavement, a that led to the local lake, huge and glassy. I used to ice skate on this lake... I thought to myself then scolded myself. Rivers ran through both sides - finding a body would be impossible once it got carried away by that current. A narrow wooden bridge spanned the narrowest section of the lake - thank God there was nobody else on it. I wandered slowly onto the bridge, hearing the wood creak a greeting to me. Once I reached the middle, I pulled off my UGGs -I remembered when Mom took me to buy these... no! Must not think about it-and threw them into the water. Once they sunk from view, I threw my hoodie in too. A breeze caught it, and it drifted for about 10 feet before gracefully settling into the water. Then I heard rustling. I turned to see Ronnie sitting on the side of the bridge, crossed legged and looking straight at me with her turquoise eyes and a curious smile.

"Hi?" I raised an eyebrow and she waved back.

"A bridge suicide. Nice choice." She smiled and I shrugged.

"They usually don't find the bodies. So I thought it would be a good idea." I said with as much casuality as possible while I watched my hoodie swim down the river.

"It was a good idea, now come on, we need to go before someone notices that you're still alive." She started to walk, her heeled boots leaving tracks in the dirt. I followed her, making sure we didn't leave a trail.

"Where are we going?" I asked her. She turned and smiled.

"Where do you think we're going?"

"The Cirque?" I guessed and hitched my bag higher onto my shoulder. Might as well get comfortable.

"Bingo." She smirked and we kept on walking. Instead of thinking about what was behind me, I fixed my gaze on what was in front of me - I followed the bouncing blonde ponytail and the dust her boots picked up.

In about half an hour we reached the Cirque and I saw them all packing up. The tents were already taken down and I saw the Snake Boy- Evra Von I quickly recalled his name- look at me with a puzzled look as Darren quickly filled him in, they walked away with some hammocks and set them on the ground. Some of the other members of the Cirque were packing up the vans

"What should I do?" I asked Ronnie uncertainly.

"Stick with me until the sun goes down. After that, well you're probably going to train with Kade. And I am warning you, you're going to be sore as fuck after one session. Probably half dead after the second." Ronnie informed me with a superior grin.

I gaped at her and she sighed in exasperation.

"I'm just being honest!"

I sighed in agreement. We checked the wolfman's cage to make sure it was locked, packed up the hammocks and helped Madame Truska pack up some cloth. She smiled at me and barked something, I just nodded numbly and walked away, too tired and dazed to care. Soon the sunset painted the sky orange and red I watched the sun sink to the horizon line. I sighed and started to stretch in preparation for whatever training was waiting for me. I touched my toes twice, then I heard foot steps behind me.

I'd pretty muched guessed by the sound of the footsteps, it was none other than Kayden Stone. Wearing her customary black tank top, jeans and cowboy boots, with her pin-straight strawberry-blonde hair hanging past her shoulders. Her chilly dark blue eyes met mine, and a smile broke over her lips.

"Stretching is for pansies. Come with me, I'm gonna make a man out of you." was her greeting.

"I don't wanna be a man." I grumbled obstinately.

"Well then you're gonna have to grow some lady balls if you wanna keep up with me." she retorted with a grin. She was joking... mostly.

She started walking, and I had to jog to keep her pace.

"Can you slow down?" I asked and she started walking faster.

"Nope." She said and I sighed dramatically, already feeling the burn.

Damn... this was going to be a hard night.

Bitches, the little bitch is back ;D hahaha review, flame me spam me bang on the key board what everr!