A/N: I apologize for the lengthy delay in posting. The end of the summer proved to be much more hectic than I was anticipating. I have started back at my University and am already busier than ever. I will do my best to post as frequently as possible. No matter what happens, this story will not be abandoned.

Thank you all for your continued readership. Reviews would be most lovely and appreciated.

Thanks again to my beta, s and h forever, for her dedication to this story.

"I'm not the one who broke you. I'm not the one you should fear. We've got to move you, darling. I thought I lost you somewhere, but you were never really ever there at all. And I want to get free, talk to me. I can feel you falling. And I wanted to be all you need, but somehow here is gone." (Here is Gone, by the Goo Goo Dolls)

Hermione groaned as the light streaming in through her window roused her from what had been a wonderfully peaceful sleep, as if it meant to taunt her. She hadn't realized how strangely liberating living in the dungeons had been; without a source of light, time seemed to stand still, days and nights blurring into one. She sat up slowly, rubbed her eyes, and stretched, feeling rather lethargic after her four day coma experience. She had expected that the feeling would come. The last thing she wanted to do was get out of bed, but Hermione knew that if she didn't go to her classes now, she never would. Besides, she needed to let Harry and Ron know that she was alright.

Her morning routine suddenly felt odd to her as she went through the motions, and she found herself wishing she could just spend the day with Severus. Remembering Ginny's account of her past days of unconsciousness, Hermione realized that she had practically spent all of her days with him anyway and experienced a sudden pang of annoyance that she hadn't been awake for it all. Still preoccupied with the thoughts running rampant through her mind, Hermione absentmindedly walked down the steps to the common room, brought back to reality only by the pair of arms that seemed to instantly grab onto her upon her arrival.

"Hermione! You're back!" Harry gasped as he hugged her.

Hermione tried to shake him off her, with little success, and rolled her eyes at Ron, who stood across the room by the fireplace.

"We're glad to have you back, Hermione!" Ron added, "Harry, give her some room to breathe."

Harry backed off, realizing the extent of his excitement. "Sorry, Hermione, we were just so worried about you. You still don't look so great. What happened? We asked almost every member of the faculty what was going on with you, but no one would tell us anything. Not even Dumbledore."

Hermione moved quickly to the door as soon as she heard the topic of her injuries brought up, shrugging off their questions.

"It's nothing, Harry. I just fell down some steps after my meeting with Dumbledore. I was in a hurry to get back and lost my footing. That's all. We really should be –"

"Hermione, wait!" Ron grasped Hermione by the arm just as she was headed out the door. "You've been avoiding us all year. Don't use this ruddy independent study with Snape as an excuse. I think there's a lot you're not telling us, and I also think that Harry and I deserve to know what's really happening. No one stays in a coma for four days after falling down some stairs."

Hermione wrenched her arm from his hold and turned on him. "I don't have to bloody well tell you two anything! Now seriously, we're going to be late for Potions. I don't want to ruin my first day back to classes, so just let me go!" She tried to leave a second time but was stopped again. This time it was Harry who confronted her.

"Hermione, please, you remember what Sirius said, don't you? He told me that in dangerous times like these, we should keep our friends close. Don't you think it would be better for you if you –"

"If I what, Harry?" Hermione questioned dangerously. "If I told you that the real reason I was in a coma for four days was that I tried to kill myself in the Room of Requirement? If I told you that I couldn't handle who I've become because of you and your infernal war? I've become this because of you both! Is that what you wanted to hear? It's the truth. I had hoped to spare you the pain of hearing it, let alone hearing it from me, but no, you just wanted to push me, didn't you? Well, there you have it; I hope you're satisfied. And now that you've managed to make us all devastatingly late for Potions, I'm leaving."

Without giving either of the boys a chance to comment, Hermione flew through the door, running down to the dungeons and throwing open the door to Snape's Potions classroom. He was forced to stop mid lecture with the violence of her entrance, staring at her long enough for the class to wonder why he hadn't immediately responded with a snide remark. Noticing his students' eyes on him, he resumed his role.

"Ah, Miss Granger, how considerate of you to grace us with your presence. I do hope you weren't expecting some sort of fanfare accompanying your return. While some of the Hogwarts faculty may be preoccupied with their efforts to make you comfortable, rest assured that I expect all of the assignments you were so unfortunate to miss to be completed by the end of the week. This includes whatever assignments you receive over the next seven days. I will tolerate no less precision than your usual work. I will not accept mediocrity. And where, dare I ask, are the two dimwits I expected to be glued to your sides?"

"They're coming," Hermione said in response, more angrily than she intended to sound and full of resentment. It seemed as though her morning were getting worse with every breath she took.

The rest of her classmates gasped at the way she had addressed him. They were torn between being terrified and excited. Nothing like this had happened in Snape's classroom before, and each student was imagining some horrific way in which he would react. None of them were pleasant.

"Excuse me?" Snape snapped in shock.

Hermione glared back at him, knowing exactly what she had done wrong, but she wasn't going to tolerate playing along with his game that morning. Too much was being asked of her for the day as it was. She didn't care that her anger was being misdirected.

"I said that they're coming. If you expect me to add a 'sir' to that, you are sorely mistaken. I'm sure you're the only faculty member here that would command that of a student. Are you really so obsessed with control that you would resort to a group of sixteen and seventeen year olds for your power fix? Is that the kind of man you are?" Hermione was aware that she had taken things a step too far from the tell-tale clenching of his fists and the way the other students stared at her open-mouthed, but she was too upset to take too much notice.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor for your blatant disrespect."

"Fine."

"What?"

"I said fine, sir."

The eyes of each student in the room followed their exchange, darting back and forth as if tuned to an intense Quidditch match, just waiting for Snape to explode.

"That is quite enough, Miss Granger. You may spend the rest of the period cleaning and reorganizing my store cupboard. Congratulations, you now have one more missed assignment to add to your growing to-do list. Once your incompetent little friends arrive, I will be following up on your less savory assignment. Now get back to work, ALL OF YOU!"

Hermione stormed into his storeroom with her head held high, slamming the door as her final stand against Severus Snape. She slumped against the door, exhausted from all the arguments with which the morning had plagued her. She knew that she would be asked to explain herself, and if she was truly honest, she had no idea why her outrage at Ron and Harry became directed at Severus. He was the one person she needed now; she couldn't afford to push him away. She was sure he would understand; he must have known she had been talking to Ron and Harry about what had happened. She was justifiably on edge, wasn't she? Once again lost in her thoughts, she didn't even notice Severus enter the room to join her. She jumped as he finally spoke behind her, making his presence known.

"What the hell did you think you were doing back there?" He began stroking the sides of her arms, his silent and comforting apology for startling her. "I should have given you at least two weeks detention for that display. But –"

"But I'd enjoy that too much," Hermione replied, smirking as she heard the sigh he tried to hide. She subconsciously fiddled with one of the tiny bottles of Veritaserum, amused by the extensive stock of that particular potion that he kept on hand. It seemed like an eternity since she had used it on him. She chuckled at the memory.

"So, are you going to tell me what was upsetting you? I have a class to glare at; I can't spend all of it with you cramped in this cupboard."

It was then that Hermione realized his closeness. It was surprisingly thrilling for her, knowing that Harry and Ron were just outside the door working on their own potions at that very moment. All she had to do was lean forward and –

"Hermione, I am quite serious."

She stared up at him, eyes wide with shock at how often she was losing track of her thoughts recently. "I'm sorry, Severus. This morning, when the boys asked what had happened to me, I shrugged it off while trying to get to class. I told them I had been in a rush and fell down the stairs coming from Dumbledore's office. They stopped me from leaving and confronted me about how I had changed. They told me that I wasn't okay and that they should be the ones to help me. They pushed me for the truth, so I snapped back and gave it to them."

"Hermione, you didn't –"

"No, I didn't tell them about us. I never would. I promise you that," she answered, already anticipating the rest of his question. She took one of his hands into her own and looked at it intently, as if to memorize its features. It was clear to him that she was trying to avoid his gaze, but he let her continue in her own fashion.

"But I told them that I tried to kill myself and that… oh God… I told them that it was because of them." Tears rolled down Hermione's cheeks as she comprehended what impact the truth would have had on Harry and Ron. "I've ruined everything. I've torn our friendship apart." Her tears came faster as she quickly lost control of her emotions. She didn't try to rein them in. Severus had already seen her at her worst.

Severus stepped forward and drew her to him, holding her as she cried, as he had often done before. "Shhh," he whispered into her hair. "You know what little respect I have for your friends, but I am certain they will be more forgiving than you think. You've been through so much this year, Hermione, they should understand that. You need to talk to them. You should have seen them when they walked in this morning. They looked as though Dementors had attacked them. Promise me that you'll discuss it with them this afternoon. Afterwards, you may come back here with me for the remainder of the evening until curfew. Would that be alright?" He let go of her as he felt her sobs subside, waiting for an answer from her.

"Yes, Severus, thank you. And Severus -"

"No, Hermione. You don't really have to organize the store cupboard. Just try to relax in here for the rest of the period."

"You know, you really shouldn't use Legilimency on someone without their consent. At least not until I can fight back."

She sat on the stool next to her and tried her best to look put out with him. He only smiled at her quickly in return before returning to class, leaving her utterly breathless. It was a rare sight to see Severus Snape smile, and to her, it was one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Before she knew it, the day's Potions class was over, and Hermione ventured back out to find Harry and Ron. The room was now empty, and she looked over to see them sitting at their desks alone and sullen. She walked over to them as Snape pretended to be preoccupied with something near his desk, but Hermione knew better than to think he wasn't listening to her.

"Um… hi. How was the rest of class?" Hermione nervously asked, saddened to find that even a question directly asked of them couldn't force their eyes up to meet her own. "That bad? Well, I was thinking that the three of us need to talk and –" She paused for a brief moment but caught a glimpse of Snape out of the corner of her eye. His nod of approval urged her on. "And I think we should go to the common room during the break. Would that be okay? You were right, Harry. I need to trust you both."

At that, Harry's eyes finally lit up. Perhaps it was actually hearing the words "you were right" from Hermione, but she was elated regardless, hoping that their conversation wouldn't be as uncomfortable as she had originally imagined.

"Wow, Hermione, that's great. Yeah, let's go. Come on, Ron."

The three friends filed out of the classroom together, Hermione stopping briefly to look back at Severus before closing the door behind her. They reached the common room and sat down, relieved that no one else was around. The pained silence that fell over the room lasted for several minutes until Harry surprisingly broke it.

"Hermione, I don't want to draw this out for you; I'm sure it's painful. I don't even need to know why you did it, but I'm so sorry that Ron and I didn't help. If you had let me, I could have been there for you. I knew you were exhausted and upset, but had no idea it had gotten so bad. I'm just so sorry, Hermione, and I know he won't want to talk about it, but Ron is, too. Please, if you ever feel like that again, just talk to us. We love you, Hermione. You've got to know that by now."

Hermione was taken aback by Harry's words. She had never expected them to be so understanding. She didn't even have to explain herself. She experienced a feeling of belonging she had scarcely found that year and hugged each of her friends in thanks.

"I don't know what I did to deserve such wonderful friends. I'm so sorry about this morning. It wasn't my intention for you to find out like that. Thank you so much for your understanding and comfort. It means more to me than I can say, but I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll talk to you later, though. I have independent study work tonight, so don't forget to do your assignments!" She ran out the door, eager to finish her day of classes so she could see Severus again, leaving Ron and Harry in her wake.

"Well that sounds like the Hermione we know!" Ron chimed in, and both boys laughed, relieved that their friend seemed to be alright after all.

~o~

Later that night, Hermione let herself into Severus' study, not being able to clearly remember the last time she had done so. It seemed like so long ago that they were able to spend a decent amount of time together; and it almost felt as if she had been in her coma for years. She found him at his desk, where he always seemed to be grading some sort of assignment. She didn't envy him at all. She sympathized with his bitterness and was sure that she would be a short-tempered professor herself, if she had to deal with the diminished levels of intelligence exhibited by some of her classmates. She approached him slowly, afraid to surprise him, knowing full well that he could hex her on impulse. It was in his nature to be defensive, and she wanted anything but to be on the receiving end of one of his curses.

"Severus?" she called out softly. "Is now a bad time? I can come back later if you'd like, but I've finished my other work and just thought that –"

"Shh, it's fine, Hermione," he replied evenly. "You really do worry too much. Are you really that afraid of upsetting, inconveniencing, or disappointing people?"

"Yes." She replied without a second thought, shocking him with her sincerity and fervor.

"Hermione, I can't imagine how you could possibly disappoint anyone. I -"

"What are you talking about? I've disappointed everyone, Severus. I had been about to kill myself! I disappointed you, especially. I don't know how to recover from that." She finally collected herself, trying to move on from the week's events. Dwelling on them would get her nowhere. "I'm sorry, Severus. I just don't know how much more of this I can take."

Now, they were both sitting on his couch, and Hermione turned to look into his eyes, pleading with him for something she couldn't even name.

"Much more of what, exactly?" Severus was convinced he knew what was coming and found that his suspicions were correct the minute Hermione opened her mouth.

"This. Us."

Snape moved to turn away, but Hermione caught on too soon, holding on tightly to his hand.

"This is exactly what I can't take. I want us to be together more than anything in the world. I know that I love you. And you've done so much for me already, but I also know that there's so much you're not telling me. Not just about what you do and where you go, but about what you want for us. I just want you to talk to me! And then there are these ridiculous parameters you've set for our relationship. They're easy enough to understand, and you knew all along that I would follow them since I'm… well… me, but I'm getting sick of it, Severus. Every time I see you, I can feel this warmth," Hermione's hand instinctively flew to her lower abdomen, "and it's only getting stronger. It never seems to go away and there's nothing either of us can do about it because of Hogwarts and its system! And don't give me a lecture on why the rules exist; I know damn well what they're for, but I don't know how much longer I can spend with you like this. It's just so hard to love you, Severus." She leaned back into the couch, exasperated, waiting for Snape's response.

"You won't have much longer." He mused to himself, not noticing that he had spoken aloud.

"WHAT?" Hermione screamed, sitting up again. "What did you just say?"

"I didn't say anything." Severus replied quickly and convincingly, but Hermione could still tell he was lying. She had been doing a lot of strange things lately, but hearing voices inside her head was not one of them. "Hermione, you're not looking very well," he insisted. "I think its best that you go back to Gryffindor -"

"No! You said I won't have that much longer. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I shouldn't have said… I just can't…" He started to move towards the door to his bedroom.

"You did say it, then! Tell me what's wrong. Why won't you talk to me?"

Hermione continued to shout back at him, but her cries went ignored as he went into his room and locked the door behind him. Seeing this, Hermione sat on the floor on the other side of his door, feeling quite like a small child who had upset her parents. Severus' unintentional words had hit Hermione like a slap in the face. He wasn't one to say or even think things lightly. Something was going to happen. She didn't know what it was, but it scared her. Worst case scenarios immediately began flashing in her thoughts, and she didn't make the effort to stop her impending sobs from rising in her throat. Her mind was too full for her to concentrate on her body's reaction to this latest development. In fact, she was too preoccupied to notice that her distress had coaxed Severus out from his chambers. He opened the door to find her in a ball at his feet. After a few moments, she sensed his gaze on her.

"Please, Severus. Please." She didn't even know what she was begging for anymore; she didn't care as long as she got something from him.

He scooped her up to his arms, carrying her into his room and stroking her back until she fell asleep. In time, he fell asleep as well, their hands still clasped together, almost in desperation, as if they knew they were on borrowed time.