S and h forever is simply magical. I'm so pleased I've been able to work with one of my closest friends on this story.
As always, thanks to all who have read and enjoyed this. The reviews have been lovely. I am truly touched by your responses. Don't be shy; review!
"You know, my darling, I can't stand to sleep alone. No sweetheart in the dark to call my own. You're my own, you're my own, I can sing it, I can groan. But the darkness is a stranger, and I'm lonely, lonely, lonely, low." (Sleep Alone, by Bat for Lashes)
About a month had passed since Severus and Hermione came to a silent understanding about the delicate nature of their relationship. April had passed without incident; Hermione refrained from asking any intensely probing questions, and Severus, as a result, found no reason to treat her with cold indifference. Even more important than their personal lives, the pair had been able to concentrate the properties of a bezoar into a liquid form and patented a unique healing salve that mended minor wounds almost instantly. It was now being utilized by both the Order and Madam Pomfrey, and Hermione couldn't have been happier. She was spending much more time with Harry and Ron during her days and finally felt as though the three of them were true friends again. She received almost constant updates from Harry about the search for Voldemort's Horcruxes and was excited to hear that Dumbledore seemed close to locating one of the remaining five.
Despite the fact that her mornings and afternoons were dedicated to her studies and friends, her nights belonged to Severus. Each evening, as soon as she was finished her classwork, she was off to his labs to work on her newest project or to just spend time with him. Their activities were varied, but Severus often found himself roped into movie marathons. Although he admittedly enjoyed the films they watched, Severus was secretly harboring a grudge against the Muggle actor towards whom Hermione seemed to have a particular fondness. She had forced him to watch this actor in every role imaginable: a young clergyman, a German terrorist, one of those blasted romantic characters from one of her favorite Muggle classic novels, and most disturbingly, a man who devises a plot to kill his wife in order to pursue a full relationship with his gay lover. At least Severus was given some comfort at Hermione's extreme displeasure watching her "beloved" end up gay in the end, a comfort that soon dissipated when he discovered that she purchased the film for the sole reason that said actor appeared nude in it. Watching it together had been an uncomfortable experience for them both. He preferred it when they debated the most recent articles in Potions Weekly.
Much to her surprise, Hermione found herself alone when she entered Professor Snape's quarters that evening. Fortunately, she had brought Crookshanks along for the night, after being practically shunned by the ginger cat for the past few weeks, due to the lack of attention he had been receiving from her. All grievances were forgotten, however, the minute Crookshanks curled up in Severus' armchair, quite comfortable and content. Making sure that her cat was asleep and uninterested in disrupting anything of importance, Hermione made her way back to the lab to continue researching the principles behind the true effect of the Dementor's Kiss. She had completely lost track of time before her attention was snapped back to reality by Severus' sudden entrance into the lab.
"Hermione, if you don't mind my asking," he began in an attempt to sound collected, "why is there a cat in my chair? Have you stumbled across something important? Has Minerva given you permission to test on animals?" Hermione stared back at him in horror, unwilling to accept that Severus and Crookshanks might not get along.
"No, Severus, it's nothing like that. That's my cat. His name is Crookshanks. He was a little upset with me, since I've been spending so much time down here, so I thought I'd just, you know, bring him by."
Snape shut the door behind him as he walked closer to her. "Hermione, ever since I was young, animals and I have not gotten along well. I'm surprised you haven't found it odd that I appear to be without a familiar. But I know how these things work, and I'm sure you have a rather strong attachment to… Crookshanks, so I suppose we'll see what happens. Perhaps my luck has changed." His pained smile signaled how uncomfortable he was to Hermione, but she was proud that he was going to make an attempt to befriend her cat.
"That's wonderful, Severus. Well, to start with, I could introduce you. Come over here." She gestured into the next room, where Crookshanks was still lounging in the chair.
"Hermione, you're not one of those people who treats pets as if they were children, are you? Because then we might have a problem." He smirked as she whipped around to face him, looking utterly offended.
"No I am not, Severus. You don't have to worry. But, as I'm sure you can infer from the knowledge that Crookshanks is my cat, he's very smart and has a quick temper. I wouldn't try anything stupid with him. Plus, he's already heard much about you from Harry and Ron, so getting on friendly terms with him could take a while." She sped through her last sentence, hoping that Severus would be too confused to understand her.
"Well, you failed to mention that before thrusting me in the volatile path of your pet! Brilliant, Hermione," he replied sarcastically, looking down at Crookshanks with disdain, rolling his eyes as he thought of the trivial things he had been willing to do for Hermione. "But I guess I have to get used to the creature."
"Thank you so much, Severus. You don't know how much this means to me! Well, go ahead. Say hi!" She was positively beaming at him, ignoring his hesitation.
"Alright, fine. Good evening… Crookshanks," he enunciated stoically.
The cat looked up slowly, but hissed suddenly and violently upon realizing who was speaking. Severus looked over at Hermione, his very expression screaming, "I told you so". She barely registered his reaction as she crouched down near Crookshanks.
"Stop it, Crooks. What did we talk about?" she whispered. "I told you, none of that shit that Harry and Ron say about him is true. Severus has been so kind to me, so don't you hiss at him. Now, go be nice."
Crookshanks looked back at her for a moment and then hopped off the couch, wrapping around Severus' legs as a form of acceptance. Snape bent down and tentatively patted Crookshanks on the head, eliciting a soft purr from the cat.
"Oh, Severus, that's wonderful! I know you two are going to get along wonderfully!" She laughed as Snape went to sit across the room, only to be quickly followed by Crookshanks, who jumped into his lap cheerfully. "Anyway, do you have anything interesting going on this evening?"
"Not exciting per se, but I do have a meeting with Dumbledore tonight. I'm certainly not looking forward to it. However, it's rather important, so I doubt I'll be back at a decent time this evening. Actually, I should be heading off now," he muttered, swiftly dropping Crookshanks back on the floor. "I'll speak with you later, Hermione. You may stay here as long as you need." And before she knew it, he was out the door.
Left alone, she finished her work and went back to Gryffindor Tower, looking forward to getting to sleep at a reasonable time for a change. But a peaceful night's rest was not meant for Hermione. At one o'clock in the morning, she found herself tossing and turning, reaching out with the expectation of finding Severus beside her. Although he had promised that their sleeping together would not become habitual, they had been together more often than not, and Hermione wasn't exactly used to sleeping alone now. Unable to fall back asleep, she got up out of bed, wrapped herself in her robe, and went over by the fireplace she was privileged enough to have as Head Girl. She grabbed a handful of the Floo powder she kept hidden in her wardrobe for moments like this one, and threw it into the fire, clearly calling out, "Professor Snape's quarters" before stepping into the flames.
Snape was sitting in the armchair that had been the topic of discussion earlier in the evening, unable to sleep as well. A phenomenal weight had been pressing on his mind since he returned from his meeting with Dumbledore. The information he had been provided did not bode well for the entire wizarding world, most especially for him and Hermione, as far as Snape was concerned. Even the Firewhisky he clutched within his grasp could not ease the tension he now was feeling. He lifted his head from the back of his chair as he saw a faint, green light suddenly being emitted from his bedroom. A brief moment later, Hermione emerged, tiptoeing out of the room but stopping immediately as she saw Severus staring back at her.
"Oh, you're still awake too. I… well… I couldn't sleep. I was wondering if –"
Severus knew exactly what she wanted but cut her off before she could finish. "Get out, Hermione," he responded softly but dangerously. "You need to leave now."
Her mouth dropped open in shock as he addressed her, wondering what she could have done to become the target of his rage.
"But, Severus, I –"
"I know, Hermione. I am so sorry, trust me, but you need to go. Please do not push me. Things did not go well for me this evening. You have done nothing to deserve my anger, but I am currently unable to give you the kindness and care that you need. Perhaps I will see you tomorrow. Goodnight." He turned his face away from her, waiting to be alone again.
"I'm sorry too, Severus. Goodnight. I love you."
"You shouldn't," he replied without hesitation, closing his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see how he had hurt her. From the corner of his eye, he saw another flash of green and knew she was gone. Standing, he downed the remainder of his Firewhisky and went to his room, waiting for the moment the alcohol would sedate him, allowing him to rest for the fateful day to come.
~o~
She had burst into tears the minute she was propelled through the fireplace and into her room, only stopping after she nearly passed out from exhaustion. She had no idea why Severus had all but physically forced her out of his chambers and was unable to devise a conceivable reason for his anger. It seemed as if her month's good luck with him had finally run out.
She woke up only a few hours after falling into her fitful sleep, and she lethargically got ready for the morning ahead, wishing that there was something she could do to avoid Severus. She quietly trod the path she knew so well to the dungeons, along with Harry and Ron, ready for yet another day of classes. The period passed uneventfully; no eye contact was made, no secret glances shared, and Hermione finished her morning's work in record time. She moved to the door, looking forward to leaving, but Severus' voice had her immobilized as though he had cast a spell on her.
"Miss Granger, there will be no need to work on your independent study this evening. I think you've done quite enough work at the present and deserve a break. I will contact you with information regarding the date on which we will resume lessons. Until then, you may spend your evenings elsewhere."
Hermione turned around slowly to look at him straight in the eye for the first time since the previous evening. She wanted to say something witty, something clever that was bound to hurt his pride, but no such words came. She simply looked at him, meeting his gaze with her own, hoping that he could feel the sadness and confusion that seemed to be radiating from her. His features softened, as though asking for her forgiveness, but she only shook her head in return, refusing to give into his manipulation of her love. She closed her eyes as she turned her back on him, refusing to cry at what would be the most unfortunate of times. Harry and Ron hastily finished their own work and accompanied her outside. Ron was the first to speak.
"Wow, Hermione that's great! We all can finally hang out tonight. It'll be brilliant!" He smiled at her brightly.
Hermione was touched by the way he seemed to enjoy her company but found her mind wandering back to what had occurred between her and Severus. "Yeah, brilliant," she responded unenthusiastically.
Before Ron or Harry had a chance to ask her if she was alright, Dumbledore came bustling down the corridor, looking oddly disheveled and hurried.
"Harry, my boy, excellent to see you! What class do you have next?" he asked, his eyes darting around, causing him to appear rather paranoid.
"Um… Charms, sir," Harry answered, quickly looking to Hermione for confirmation.
She nodded her head silently, wondering what Ron and Harry would do without her to remind them of their respective schedules.
"Well, not anymore! Come with me. Miss Granger, I trust you will tell Professor Flitwick that Harry is in an important meeting with me and will stop by to make up today's lesson later in the week?" Dumbledore suddenly looked over at Hermione with a look in his eyes that she couldn't read. Regardless of what he meant, it sent a sinking feeling of panic into her stomach, threatening to make her sick.
"Of course, Headmaster," Hermione replied quietly.
"Wonderful. Alright, Harry, you can speak to your friends later this afternoon. Enjoy Charms, Ron and Hermione!" Dumbledore bid them farewell, attempting to sound cherry, but Hermione sensed that something was amiss.
"Ron," she started suddenly, "did Dumbledore seem a little off to you?"
"You mean apart from his normal level of eccentricity? Yeah… he did seem a little weird. I'm sure Harry will let us know what's going on later. Come on, let's get to class."
The rest of the afternoon passed with no sign of Harry. It wasn't until after dinner that he finally joined Hermione and Ron in the common room.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed as he came into view. "Is everything alright?"
"Not exactly, Hermione. I'm just getting together some things before leaving with Dumbledore. He thinks he's found another Horcrux, and we're going to get it." He muttered something else to himself as he began rushing around, trying to find his invisibility cloak.
"Harry, whatever you do, please be careful. If it really is a Horcrux, I'm sure Voldemort has done everything he can think of to keep it safe. Is there anything we can do to help?"
"Actually, yes, now that you mention it. You know how I told you about that thing with Snape and Malfoy. That thing that I heard?" He stared at Hermione as she remained silent. "Oh, I didn't tell you. I guess you were busy. Anyway, I heard Snape offering Malfoy help with some project for Voldemort. Malfoy refused, but either way, I've been keeping track of him to find out what he's up to. I still don't know what the project is, but it sounds like he's close to finishing it. So, Ron, if you could watch out for him, that would be great. Here's the Marauder's Map. And, Hermione, since you're on considerably friendlier terms with Snape than either of us, could you come up with some excuse to work on your independent study with him tonight… just to make sure he doesn't go anywhere?" Hermione almost lashed out at Harry to defend Severus, but she decided that it was not the appropriate time and forced herself to respond calmly.
"I'm sure I could do that, Harry. He already thinks I'm an annoying overachiever. I'm sure he wouldn't be surprised at all if I chose to work during my night off. I'll head down there now. Ron, you know where I'll be if anything happens and you need me. Stay safe, both of you." Hermione grabbed her bag and left the common room, angered by the situation into which she had gotten herself. The last thing she wanted to do was go to the dungeons to see Severus, knowing that there was no way he'd explain his recent erratic behavior. In fact, she was almost positive he would try to throw her out of his office again. Regardless of her feelings, Hermione wanted to help Harry as best she could, and she let herself into Severus' study as soon as she reached his corridor.
"Severus, I'm coming in, and as much as I don't want to be here and you want to get rid of me, I'm staying." She sat in the armchair where Severus had bonded with Crookshanks just the day before, reminding her of how happy she had been with him, until now. In a matter of seconds, the very object of her conflicted thoughts stormed through the door.
"Hermione, what are you doing here? Did I not make it clear that you were not to come this evening?" He looked tortured as he sat on the couch opposite her.
"You made it quite clear, Severus. I don't want to be here, but Harry sent me to spy on you, as it were. He figured you would trust me, so here I am." She grabbed a book from the bookshelf next to her and began to leaf through it indifferently.
"Well then, if that's the case, I have to tell you that you're doing a horrible job," he replied sardonically. "Normally, one tends not to tell their target that they are, in fact, spying on them. For someone so intelligent, you are clearly ignorant of the basic principles of your task." Severus raised an eyebrow at Hermione as she looked up from her book. He knew his statement would pull some sort of reaction from her.
"I'm well aware of the definition of the word "spy", Severus. I'm just telling you because I simply don't care about said task. I think Harry is paranoid and his distrust of you is offensive. Even though you've been a right git to me today, I still know enough to trust you. Ron's been sent off to watch Malfoy, so I wouldn't have had anything to do if I refused Harry's orders, anyway. So, since I'm here, are you actually going to talk to me, or are you going to make me sit and read by myself?" She matched her terse tone to his, beat for beat, and waited for him to respond, refusing to back down.
"I think it would be wise if you were to read for the remainder of the evening, Hermione," Severus answered coolly, getting up to retrieve a paper from his desk.
"Severus, tell me the truth. Why won't you talk to me? Something's happened, I can tell. Ever since you had that meeting with Dumbledore. Tell me what's wrong." She gazed as his back, willing him to turn around, but he never did. Instead, he responded without moving an inch.
"Do not question me, Hermione. Just read. You are entirely mistaken. I am perfectly fine. Perhaps a little tired, but nothing more." He closed his eyes and waited until he heard Hermione open the book she had been reading once more. Only then did he sit behind his desk to continue his arduous and seemingly continuous task of grading.
The rest of the night felt like an entire lifetime for Hermione, who had been forced into silent reading for hours. Normally, she relished the opportunity to spend her time in such a way, but not at this particular moment. She was about to turn to Severus and break the silence that threatened to hang over them indefinitely, but stopped to look towards his door as Professor Flitwick ran desperately, out of breath, into the study.
"SEVERUS!" he screamed, clearly panicked. "DEATH EATERS IN THE CASTLE. NEED YOUR HELP. QUICKLY!" After throwing together enough words to communicate his message to Snape, he ran back into the hallway, where distinct screams could now be heard floating in from the Great Hall.
"Shit," Severus cursed under his breath. "Hermione, if you've ever listened to a request that I've made, let it be now. Stay here. Stay here until the Death Eaters are gone. Please." A sudden and painful sadness shone through his eyes as he pleaded with her, stunning Hermione, who now felt as though her heart was in her throat. She remained silent until he was almost out the door, recovering quickly enough to yell one last, "I love you" after him as he ran into the hall. She waited for a moment until she was sure he was well out of reach before stepping into the hallway herself.
She'd be damned if she stayed put while a battle raged on around her. Purely running on adrenaline, Hermione took off sprinting through the castle, determined to find and help Severus, the man she trusted most in the world.