Thanks to my lovely beta, s and h forever. She's fabulous and I've been quite nostalgic of the days when our friendship involved being able to see each other with great regularity. I owe so much to her.

Thanks to all who are reading this story. You have provided immeasurable motivation for me. Continued reviews and comments would be most appreciated.

"But this cup of wine, all salt and brine, makes me sleepy. A sorrow so. A field of tears that will never yield a single penny. But I don't know. I've got nothing to hold on to." (Sleepless, by The Decemberists)

Hermione was sitting near the Black Lake, between Harry and Ron, gazing off into the distance, both unable and unwilling to recognize what was happening around her. It was the afternoon of Dumbledore's funeral, and Hermione vowed to remain comfortably numb throughout the day, knowing that Severus' betrayal would be an unavoidable topic of discussion. She silently looked on as the Hogwarts faculty and staff gave what she was sure were beautiful testimonies to the now deceased wizard's accomplishments. She couldn't bring herself to listen or express the sorrow that she felt and merely watched as all forms of magical creatures dabbed at the traces of despair flowing freely from their eyes. She felt the unexpressed rage radiating from Harry as he repeatedly clenched his fists and the nervous tension coming from Ron as he noticed the discomfort of his two best friends. Hermione took in the scenery around her, the Black Lake calmly glittering in the sun and the bright flowers gently swaying in the warm breeze, wondering how such sorrow could be held within a day so beautiful. The once brilliant sunlight began to slowly fade, and the ceremony ended, beginning the solemn procession of students back to the castle for their final night before the summer holiday began.

And as she walked through the castle she knew so well, Hermione Granger realized that, for the first time in her life, she couldn't wait to get away from Hogwarts. She wanted to leave behind everything that was important to her: the library, her studies, her memories, and her love. But she knew it was pointless. How could she give up what she had worked so hard to attain? How could she walk away from the place that formed the person that she now was? Hermione's inner dialog continued until she resolved that, since she couldn't simply erase Hogwarts and everything it meant to her, she would do everything in her power to help Harry win the war that had just been escalated by Dumbledore's murder. She couldn't betray Severus the way he had betrayed her; there was nothing left to which she could be disloyal. But she could make sure that he would be on the losing side when the war was finally over. She was determined to make that happen.

After what seemed like a slow eternity lost in their own thoughts, Hermione, Ron, and Harry found themselves in the common room as usual, discussing the break ahead.

"Well, I suppose it'll feel strange to be the oldest students at Hogwarts, next year," Hermione mused aloud as their talk of plans to discover Voldemort's Horcruxes throughout the summer came to an end.

"Oh, I won't be coming back next year," Harry commented abruptly, eliciting blank stares from both Ron and Hermione.

"Harry, how could you possibly say that?" Hermione nearly started hyperventilating as she tried to make sense of his news. "We've been working towards our graduations from Hogwarts for the past six years. Are you just going to throw all of that away? Especially with your goal of being an Auror, taking a year off could be detrimental to your résumé. If –"

"Hermione, just hear me out." Harry had already anticipated her reservations and was prepared to answer her. "Look, Dumbledore spent all of his time for several years trying to find Voldemort's Horcruxes. Now that… he's gone… someone else needs to take on the task. He was giving me those lessons for a reason. I'm meant to defeat Voldemort, and part of that process is destroying the Horcruxes. I can't afford to spend my time focusing on classes now, so I need to leave Hogwarts. It's my only option." He looked around the common room and thought of the school he learned to call his home, saddened by the harsh reality of his leaving it so soon.

"Oh. Right, Harry, I suppose that does make sense. Well…" Here Hermione paused to look over at Ron, who nodded in agreement to the question she didn't even need to ask. "There's only one thing to be said, then. Ron and I are coming with you."

Harry looked up in shock, his very expression communicating the combined confusion and outrage he was feeling. "No. You can't do that," Harry responded immediately and ardently. "I can't ask you to put yourselves in that kind of danger. I should do this alone. Hermione, you'd be missing classes! An entire year of them! You can't honestly want that. You'll both be happier here than with me."

Hermione opened her mouth to rebut, but Ron beat her to it.

"Actually, I doubt that we would. When you think about it, we've been there for every dangerous adventure over the past five years, and if we're all being honest, you've needed us. I mean, Hermione's just bloody brilliant, and I… well, I'm great at chess. Anyway, the point is, we can help you, Harry, and we're willing. Let us come with you."

Harry sat in silence for a moment before giving his friends an answer. "I guess that makes sense, Ron. Alright, we'll plan things out during the summer and set off to get the Horcruxes as soon as the fall term starts. If we find something before then, it's all the better for us. Hermione, are you sure you're okay with missing a year of classes?"

Hermione smiled, deeply appreciating his concern. "Oh, I'm sure I'll manage, Harry. You know me; I'll probably end up taking classes next summer to learn what we'll be missing. I'm sure I'll make it up in no time. Besides, saving the world is far more important, don't you think?"

The trio laughed as though they hadn't just been to their Headmaster's funeral, simply happy to be united once more; it had been a hectic year for them all. Their merriment was soon put on hold as Ginny entered the common room from the girls' dormitory.

"Hey, Hermione, could I talk to you for a minute?" she interrupted nervously.

"Oh sure, Gin. I'll be right up. Sorry, boys, I'll talk to you later. Don't worry about the two of us. I'm sure Ginny just wants to have some girl time." Hermione raised her eyebrow at Harry and Ron hoping to scare them off by threatening them with copious amounts of estrogen.

"Oh. Well, you two go right ahead. Harry and I will… maybe we'll just play chess or something. Right, Harry?"

Hermione laughed at her friends' discomfort before going upstairs to get Ginny, thinking it would be a better idea to talk in her own room. Being Head Girl did have its advantages.

"Hermione… how are you?" Ginny asked the moment the two girls sat down on the bed.

"Oh, I'm – I'm fine. Harry, Ron, and I just had a nice chat and –" The pitch of Hermione's voice rose higher and higher as she tried to appear unaffected.

"Hermione, you know what I mean. You don't need to be strong in front of me. How are you, really?" Ginny scooted over closer to her best friend, placing a hand on her shoulder in reassurance, in the hopes that Hermione would finally let herself go. That was exactly what happened, and Hermione leant forward, burying her face in her hands as she finally burst into tears, tears that she had been holding back for the past several days.

"Oh God, Gin, I don't know what to do! I just -"

"Shh, Hermione," Ginny interrupted, attempting to soothe her now weeping friend. "You're going to be alright. It's all going to be fine."

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Hermione sobbed as she moved over to lean against her headboard, clutching one of the pillows to herself with all the strength she possessed, as if her life depended on it. "I know you're trying to make me feel better, but let's be honest. I'm not going to be alright." Her speech was broken, butchered by her own hysteria. Nevertheless, she continued. "I just don't understand. He lied to me this entire time. I thought I was finally getting through to him, that he was finally starting to change. I had seen the good in him, and it was nothing more than a façade. I… I loved him. I had never expected it to happen, but I loved him with everything I had, Gin. And he just threw it all away like I had been nothing more than a thorn in his side. It's so hard to describe… how I felt when it happened. I was just standing there, pressed up against that wall like a fugitive as I watched Draco taunt and threaten Dumbledore. And oh, how I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to tear his throat from his neck and watch him bleed to death for what he was doing. But then Severus came through that door and the hope I had lost came rushing back to me. My heart was lifted. I knew he would save us… save Dumbledore, and then, as he raised his wand…"

Hermione's voice trailed off, and Ginny noticed how her nails were digging into her own flesh, creating tiny welts as she wrung her hands subconsciously. Grasping her arms to prevent her from moving, Ginny tried once more to calm Hermione down.

"It's okay, Hermione, I know. You don't need to do this to yourself." She handed her a tissue from the night stand next to the bed, wondering how one girl could cry so much.

"Yes I do. I need to get it out. I can't talk about this to anyone else, Ginny. I need this. I need you. Where was I? Oh yes, even as Severus raised his wand, I was so sure he was going to disarm Draco and begin an attack on the remaining Death Eaters on the tower. Even as the flash of green light left its tip, I was convinced he was on our side. It wasn't until I saw Dumbledore tearing at the air as he fell through the sky that I realized Severus had just betrayed us all. It was if I was watching the entire scene from outside my body. My piercing scream sounded muted to my own ears as I saw Severus turn towards me. I will never, for as long as I live, forget his face in that moment. I can't tell you what emotion it was exactly, but it was the first time I saw any real, impulsive reaction cross his face. It was as if he hadn't wanted me to see what he'd done. Surely, he couldn't have believed that I would have remained ignorant of his deceit? I looked back at him as he stood there, and I could feel my heart breaking. It was as though he had killed it along with Dumbledore. When the Death Eater at his side tried to kill me, I had no fear of death. I would have welcomed it, but Severus stopped him and ran. I never would have expected it from him… for him to run like that. But Harry and I chased him. I wanted to hurt him like I had wanted to hurt Draco. And as I tried to curse him, I realized he hadn't just lied to me. He had used me. He manipulated both my trust and my intelligence, and it has destroyed me. I was such a fool for trusting him, Ginny. And if I could, I would take everything we shared, everything I felt for him, back in a heartbeat. I wish –"

"Hermione, stop!" Ginny had heard enough. It pained her to see her friend torturing herself. "Don't say that. Snape was a bastard to you, there's no denying it. Even so, you also can't deny that, for a while, he made you happy. Very, very happy. I saw the way you were together, Hermione. It might have been a lie or it might not have been, but you both accomplished so much. I remember what he was like when you were sick, Hermione. He might be an incredible spy, but I don't think even he could have manufactured the concern and fear that I saw in his eyes. I can't help but think he cared for you, Hermione. I -"

"Ginny, you need to leave. I won't listen to you if you're going to talk like that. False hope won't get me anywhere. He never cared about what would happen to me. I was just a tool for him to use. I need to sleep, Gin, I'll talk to you later. Thank you for listening." Hermione turned away from Ginny, lying on her side.

It would have been a lie for Ginny to say that she wasn't hurt by Hermione's dismissal, but she realized that her friend was only trying to cope with what had happened. Mentally, Ginny stood by her gut feeling. In her estimation, there was something suspicious about what had happened. She couldn't imagine that Snape would have entertained any notion of a relationship with Hermione if he didn't care for her. He could have used her for the potions she created during her independent study merely by being her academic mentor. And any information on Harry that Hermione might have divulged would likely have also been relayed to him by Dumbledore. It just didn't make sense to Ginny that he would enter into such a superfluous relationship. Dejectedly, Ginny kept her thoughts to herself; she knew that Hermione wouldn't listen. Instead, she made towards the door to leave saying, "I'm always here for you, Hermione. I'll check on you in the morning. Goodnight."

Once Ginny was gone, Hermione extinguished the lights and returned to her bed, lying on her back and staring up into the darkness of her room. She wanted to stop thinking and feeling, but Ginny's parting thought had left its mark on her psyche. Was there something off with the situation, as Ginny had implied? Could something beyond her comprehension have caused Severus to act against his will and best wishes for her? She forced the thoughts from her mind, unwilling to entertain the hope that she was wrong about him. She couldn't afford to lose her confidence when Harry needed her the most. She closed her eyes tightly and began to recite the twelve uses for Dragon Blood as a distraction. After what felt like an eternity of reciting magical theory after theory, she drifted off to sleep, only to be haunted through the night by the green lights that continued to flash brightly before her eyes.