Disclaimer: I own nothing! Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Harry Potter is currently owned by JK Rowling. Drats….
The house at Number Four Privet Drive is normal. Like all the other houses, it has a white picket fence, cleanly cut grass, a garage, and all that. Inside though, is another matter. If one was to look through a window, they would see a big fat man with a purple face, no, not Vernon's regular purple-induced angry face, his face is literally purple. His equally beefy, but shorter son also had a purple face, but complete with a sun pattern around his right eye. If one was to look closely however, Dudley Dursley's face also had black spots around his nose and his chubby cheeks. If one was to look even closer at a precise moment when his teeth were showing, some of his teeth had been colored black, some were rotten from candy, and others, mysteriously missing. These two pigs, oh my bad, "men" are currently tied up and stuck to the chair in front of the television set. And this was only Day 1 of the first week of summer.
What about the wife? Well, she's currently locked up in the master bedroom under the illusion that she was cleaning the whole house. Apparently the masterminds behind this plot didn't find it too honorable to give the poor woman a heart attack.
Speaking of masterminds, Harry and Naruto were currently rolling down the floor of the kitchen having a great big laugh. It really wasn't their fault that the Dursleys were in this position. Vernon had, upon entering the house, grabbed the shotgun in the cupboard below the stairs and aimed it at Naruto who had stood with one eyebrow up. Since Vernon had heard that Naruto wasn't a "freak" like his nephew, he had immediately thought that Naruto was incapable of defending himself from a well-placed shot to the chest. Boy was he surprised when, in a speed few were capable of, disappeared and reappeared behind Vernon holding the now bent shotgun.
Dudley had just come in when he saw Naruto and his "freakish" cousin painting his father's head. Needless to say, he saw red and immediately tackled Harry to the ground. He got two good punches when he was lifted off the ground by a blond-haired man and promptly drew a yellow sun around his right eye. He then tied him up next to Vernon, had his face painted purple by Harry, and was left alone.
Harry had asked Naruto if they went overboard by which he was told that this is the best Naruto can think of without causing blood. Harry had then asked, "Why would you need to cause blood, you don't seem the type to have been beaten when you were young…, were you?"
Naruto had gone quiet after that and just looked at him with sadness, "You were lucky that only four people abused you Harry, not your whole village." Naruto then got up, hypnotized the two pigs-er I mean, males to make them forget their ordeal, knocked them unconscious, and carried them upstairs to their bedrooms. Naruto's words had given Harry something to think over as he went to sleep that night with said man faithfully perched on the tree outside looking over the entire street.
The next day, the Dursley family was acting normally with the exception of them treating Harry a bit nicer during the morning. However Pig boy broke the peace by giving Harry the Bear hug of the day when Naruto was seemingly out of site. Suffice it to say, Naruto was not pleased and humiliated pig boy by giving him one of the most devastating attack of the universe; The Thousand Years of Pain! attack. Of course he lessened the power so he only flew through the whole backyard. Pig Boy respectfully kept is distance afterwards. The rest of the day flew normally with Harry doing chores, though less than usual, and Naruto taking him out on a jog after lunch. Harry was also treated to a nice supper at a nearby restaurant courtesy of Naruto who had taken upon himself to give the poor boy a much needed summer break. They had come home somewhat later after a bit of fun at the local park with a playground, fun that had been denied to both of them when they were younger. Before they went to sleep, they stayed out star-gazing, trying to identify or make up their own constellations when Naruto asked a question, "I heard that you were asked by your godfather to come and live with him when he was free. What was your answer?"
"I told him yes, it had been the best part of the night, I felt, for the first time in my life, like there was someone who will care for me and wait for me after Hogwarts." Harry smiled at the memory.
"If anyone deserves happiness, it's you my friend, it's you…" Naruto said, patting Harry's head, "Now, go to bed, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
The next day, Naruto was true to his word, they had gone shopping after breakfast, but not before placing a wooden board on top of Vernon's head with a container of paint. Vernon had woken up only to hit his head on the board and making an imprint of his face on the paint. Thankfully, the two pranksters brought a camera and captured the moment. They left the house laughing loudly. Naruto and Harry made their way outside the house to the driveway. There, Naruto told Harry, "Watch the wonders of ninja techniques," before taking out a long scroll with Japanese kanji. Then he muttered "Kai" while doing a one-handed. The area in front of them burst into smoke and in front of them was a black motorbike. It looked quite futuristic with a streamlined shape. There were two huge exhaust pipes at the left end side of the bike and one long pipe with a red light on the right end side of the bike. At the sides was a red fox motif with nine tiles stretching towards the end. Naruto pressed a button and the front left side of the bike popped open to reveal three slots that collapse when closed. Two of the slots are occupied by two katanas, while one was reserved for Naruto's sword. "So, what do you think?" he asked as he placed his sword inside the last slot and then closed the cover.
"Wow, I've never seen any bikes like that! Where did you get that!" Harry exclaimed, his eyes wide with surprise and wonder. "And what'd you do with that paper?" Harry referred to the scroll.
"Ah, where I got it is a secret for later, as for the scroll, it's called a sealing scroll. It basically stores objects that I seal inside the scroll. You'll learn more later. Now c'mon, let's get you out of that elephant clothes okay?" he answered, giving Harry a helmet. "Hold on tight!" Naruto warned as he zoomed away towards London.
Naruto and Harry spent all morning at a mall buying Harry new clothes that fit. They ate at the cafeteria inside then Naruto sealed their purchases in his scroll and they went home. At home, Naruto had Harry do physical exercises and cooked food for him and Naruto. He also taught Harry how to aim and throw kunai with bull's-eyes he had spray-painted on the fence. Needless to say, Aunt Petunia was appalled at what happened to her precious white picket fence. This is what they basically did all week. Naruto and Harry jogged in the morning, building up Harry's endurance. Then Naruto had Harry do some physical exercises and also helped Harry with his summer homework. He then taught Harry how to do some ninja tricks like creating explosive tags, Sometimes the two would go out for lunch or dinner and watched the stars until 9 PM. The two formed a bond similar to that of brothers. At Saturday night, Naruto gave Harry an early birthday gift, his own kunai-shuriken set, complete with explosive scrolls, kunai holsters, and a shuriken pouch. "Now, you know how much I trust you not to abuse this privilege. Do not use these unless absolutely necessary okay?" Naruto warned. Harry, shocked at his gift, could only nod. After receiving a nod, Naruto hugged Harry, "You deserved it kiddo…"
They wouldn't know how useful and crucial this set would be tomorrow….
A/N: So, did anybody guess where I got the idea for the bike? Oh and has anyone realized how Kyuubi has been silent lately? That will be revealed at a later date. Next chapter: Shopping, carnage, and a cameo of a certain bushy-haired girl and a silver-haired, gun-wielding, red clad hunter…