Well here's the second chapter!
Thank God Bella slipped Edward her number that night. They've been inseparable ever since. Bella coming over. Edward going over to her and Alice's place. Edward and Bella double dating with Alice and what's-his-face. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't so great an idea after all.
I tried to join in. It always turned out disastrously.
I used to stay home when Bella came over…
"I rented some movies for us." Yes. Edward chose the best movies. Maybe it was The Hangover again, or all the Harry Potter movies. Maybe he'd even gotten a season of 30 Rock. When he brought out his choices, I wanted to gag. The Notebook? I mean, really? The Proposal?
At least Bella chose The Proposal. Sandra Bullock, I could sit through. The other options were just…not me. I'd rather not have my movie centered on some girl crying over some guy.
The thing was the movie wasn't a problem. It was the happy couple. By the time I came back with the popcorn, they'd moved to the center of the couch and started to snuggle. I hadn't even turned out the lights yet.
The movie was funny. The sounds of making out were not.
I could tell that Edward felt bad. After the movie he started telling Bella that I play the guitar. Which I did. For myself. I diverted by pointing out that Edward played too. I should have known that would be a mistake. He'd only played a few chords when Bella removed his hand from her guitar and walked deliberately to his room. He stared after her. I've got to hand it to him: at least he had the decency to utter a quick "Sorry, bro," before he followed her and shut his door.
I went to the rooftop with my guitar. I didn't really need to hear the sounds of happy coupling going on in our apartment.
I tried to join them with a date of my own…
We were at Provocation, one of the bars near campus.
"Guys, I want you to meet Diana." I swept my arm out to indicate the pretty blonde at my side. Diana: pre-med, worked part time at the local bookstore, and totally into me. I just wished she were shorter. And less blonde. Actually, it would have been great if she'd just disappeared.
I tried to like her, I really did. I overlooked the fact that she used words like 'probs' and 'maybs'. She couldn't just say 'probably and maybe? I also overlooked the little issue that she didn't really get my sense of humor. I'm a guy in college. There's a lot of body parts and sarcasm involved. She didn't think it was funny. Or maybe she just didn't get it. Maybe they'd lowered the standards for entering the pre-med program.
I was just trying to figure out if the boob she was rubbing on my arm was real or silicon whenshe walked in. Behind her came what's-his-face. I think it was time for me to go. After more than a few beers, Diana was starting to look significantly more attractive than she had before. Then Alice was right next to me. With every word she said, I wanted her more. I waved my arm in the air to signal another round. I thought more liquor might dull my frustration. I think she introduced her boyfriend as Will. Edward and Bella. Will and Alice. Me and Diana. Yay.
Edward told me the next day that I'd drunkenly taken Diana home. She wanted to have sex. Apparently I'd wanted to complain about my love life. She got so insulted by the song I belted out at the top of my drunken lungs while playing my guitar. Maybe it's because I was singing She's No You, and Diana knew that she was the she and not the you.
I tried just hanging out alone…
Ever heard the saying 'Don't drink alone'? Don't believe it. You really should drink alone if you want to get drunk. There's no pretending to talk to someone. Just throwing back liquor.
Because Bella and Edward had to spend every waking moment together outside of classes, I started going out when they came over. On weekdays, I just stayed late on campus, trying to finish my reading and homework so I wouldn't feel bad on nights I went out. It happened pretty often. Bella came over because Will was over at her and Alice's place. So now I associated Will and Alice with Bella coming over, which meant I had to drink. I tried different bars out most night, mostly so I wouldn't end up looking like a regular. 'Regulars' usually mean 'drunks' and I was trying to avoid that at the moment.
I ended back up at Provocation. That night, my fourth beer was interrupted by some horrible rendition of some OneRepublic song. I squinted at the usually dark stage in the corner. A spotlight was shining there. A sign said 'Open Mike Night'. It was Wednesday. That would explain why I'd never been here to witness it before my apartment became coupleville.
The screeching of the man onstage was getting to me. That crap was just wrong. I actually liked OneRepublic, and he was butchering one of their songs.
Downside of alcohol: it lowers your inhibitions.
I slammed my empty bottle down on the bar and wiped my mouth on my sleeve. I walked over to that little stage, reached up, and turned off the mike.
"Show's over, buddy. No more singing for you." I think that caught the crowd's attention. Some of them laughed. A few clapped. I turned the mike back on. "Hey, I'm Jasper Cullen. I'm going to sing for you tonight." I grabbed a guitar they must have left sitting around just for tonight and just let my fingers feel the chords. I was a little too intoxicated to do anything else. It hit me that I didn't play for anyone but myself as long as I was still even slightly sober. Diana was a mistake brought on by a night of way too many drinks.
I knew I was lying to myself, though. I still knew who I was playing for that night. I could play in front of other people. Sing, even. Although I knew that I was just playing for her.
By then the sparse crowd was going back to their regular conversations, convinced that I was just another guy with a guitar and no talent. So I closed my eyes and started to play.
I hear the tickin' of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?
You don't know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight, oh
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone
Oh
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?
When I reopened my eyes, the crowd was looking at me. They were really looking. Then they clapped. I guessed that meant I was pretty good. I said a 'thank you' into the mike and then went to the bar to order another beer.
Upside of alcohol: it lowers your inhibitions.
Playing at open mike nights on 'date nights' became my norm.
"I'm taking Bella out dancing tonight. What are you up to?" Edward was grabbing his keys on his way to pick her up.
I snorted. "Bella hates dancing."
"She's never given it a chance with me. Plus, I'm gonna get her so drunk she won't care what she's doing." The classic smirk crossed his face.
"Real classy, bro." I checked my guitar, tuning it a bit.
"I know." We had a good laugh. "Like I asked before, what are you up to tonight?"
"I thought I'd check out that new place on the side of that pizza place downtown."
"Cool." He eyed me thoughtfully. "What's with your guitar? I thought you didn't play for people."
Busted. "I'm not playing for people. I'm playing in front of them. I'm playing for me." And Alice.
"Why don't you invite that girl that was all over you on our way to class yesterday?" He put down his keys. Crap.
Who was he talking about? Oh, the brunette. The leggy one. "She's not really my type." I strummed a few chords of the song I planned to play that night.
"Jazz, what is your type? You haven't been out with anyone in months." He ran his hands through his hair. Here came the brotherly concern. "I'm starting to get worried, man."
"Don't worry about it. One day I'll get her." I wanted to smack myself on the forehead when I realized what I'd said.
"Get her?" He walked over and punched me on the shoulder. "Who is she? It's Ashley, isn't it? Or Shelly." He grinned. "C'mon! Tell me who she is."
I really, really didn't want to tell him. "I meant find her. Not get her. One day I'll find her."
He looked totally unconvinced. "We're not finished with this. I'll find out who she is!" Another good natured punch to the shoulder. "I've gotta grab Bella. Later, bro."
So that night I checked out the new place. I got some applause. I grabbed another beer at the bar. Some girls came up to me; twins, I think. One flashed me a boob. I politely declined. I decided to do one more song.
When I got to the bridge, I looked up. I saw Edward there with Bella behind him, yet I kept on singing. I couldn't stop when I was singing to Alice; when I was yearning for the chance to get to know her. Maybe he would understand if I just kept singing.
This is going to bring me clarity
This'll take the heart right out of me
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
This is going to bring me to my knees
I just want to hold you close to me
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
She is everything
I needed
She is everything.
Edward and I didn't go home together that night. He'd clapped me on the back, told me I'd sounded great and then rushed Bella out of there. When he got home much, much later I found out why.
"What the hell was that?" He slammed the door of our apartment. I was nursing another beer. Maybe I was a drunk.
"What was what?" Maybe Bella had kicked his precious Volvo.
"You know, I finally get it! I know why you won't go out with anyone, why you've been avoiding me and Bella!" His eyes were livid. I couldn't understand why. I mean, he couldn't really know, could he. Even if he did, it wouldn't bring out this kind of reaction.
"What?" My brain wasn't functioning as fast as I needed it to. I put down my beer.
"She is everything I wanted," he mock sang. "You're in love with her!"
"So what?" I could pine away if I wanted.
"You can't be in love with Bella!" Bella? Oh. I couldn't see how he might've gotten that impression.
"I'm not…" He stopped pulling his hair. I finally stood up, looking him in the eye.
"Then who the hell is she?" He looked a little panicked. Maybe he really did worry about me.
"I'm in love with Alice."
I think I threw him for a loop. "Alice?" I nodded. He picked up my beer and chugged the rest of it. I grabbed my guitar, went to my room and shut the door.
Author's Note: 6th August 2011
I really enjoyed writing this one! Okay, but seriously. One more chapter this time, I think. Show me some love in your reviews! Keep me on alert for the next chapter!
Lyrics are from Alone by Heart, and She Is by The Fray