"It's just so hot in here," Lily bemoans, throwing her head back on Severus's bed. "How can anyone concentrate, how do you read in here?" They had been laying on their sides facing one another on Severus's bed, both reading a different book with their knees lapping together. Lily pushes hair out of her eyes and stretches, causing the tank top to pull up and bare her stomach. Severus's eyes gaze over his book's top and take her in, moving his leg to stay against hers in her new position. She stares over at him and gives him a mourning pout. "Can't we just do a little spell to cool it down in here?" her bottom lip looks soft.
He picks up his wand and moves to flick his wrist but she leaps upright and grabs his hand, laughing, crushing their books beneath her body as she struggles to get his wand from him. "Joking, joking! it's not worth being expelled!" She gasps in her fit of laughter as Severus continues to elude her grabs - hardly fair with his long arms, pulling his wand farther and farther backwards until Lily is almost laying on him. He finally lets his wrist go weak and she grabs it with triumph and he moves his hands down to her waist, steadying her on top of him and stares up at her.
She traces the wand down his face and continues to laugh lightly, out of breath from the effort and oblivious to the way Severus stares up at her.
He thinks, if she cursed him where he lays, even with his own wand, he'd die happy here and forgive her for killing him.
"I could make a potion that will make you feel cold," he offers, his hands still on her hips. He fights every urge to round them back to her ass. Lily's face lights with mischievous intrigue.
"Could you really, Sev, do you really know how?" she sits up and leans against the wall by the bed, her legs still tumbled in with his, and bites her finger.
Severus sits up as well, smoothing his hair down and pushing himself off the bed to open his closet. Instead of clothing it is stuffled with awkward, lopsided shelving units and bottles full of materials.
"I could have you shaking in your tank top in five minutes," he promises with a threatening tone, picking up two bottles.
Lily claps her hands together in excitement and moves to the edge of the bed to watch him. "Oh Sev, this is fun," she whispers.
.
Twenty minutes later Lily is shivering hard and wears two of Severus's coats. "This isnt as fun as I thought it was going to be," she cries, her teeth chattering. She pulls Severus's comforter up around her shoulders. It envelopes her with his scent, a woodsy clove smell that gets stronger every year (she's noticed). He sits hunched over a leather bound notebook filled with scribbled potions of his own design. He chews on his quilltip, muttering, scratching something out and replacing it. "I think this potion needs just one spoon of Canna root.." he mutters, trying to figure out why it had been so intense.
Lily sighs and throws the comforter over Severus and pulls him under with her. She is a lumpy bundle of his cheap wool coats but his hands slide under them and find the bare skin of her side as she shakes and they lay face to face. Their noses almost touch and Severus brings his hand up to brush a sleek streak of hair out of her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, "you weren't supposed to be this cold - it will wear off soon, though," he promises. The comforter blots out most of the overhead light but he can see Lily smile, anyway. Even in a void he could picture her smile clearly.
"My lips feel numb," she whispers.
There had been increased intimacy between them since the previous summer as both of them came around to puberty clumsily in the way great childhood friends do. It was all new to Lily, she was blooming a little later than Severus had but her newfound feelings about almost everything were perplexing. Right now all she could concentrate on was that clovey, smoky smell of Severus - she often wondered if it was his natural scent or if it was some oil he concocted and wore. She feels his hands on her skin in a way that if foreign to her.
"Can I put my lips under your arm? I need to keep them warm" Lily murmurs.
"Are you asking to put your lips in my armpitt?" Severus asks, making the question sound like the tome of disgust.
Lily laughs. She thinks he looks lovely in the low light with his hair wild and she knows he likes her and he is (really) so brilliant, he knows so much about spells and potionmaking and he is the most creative person she has ever met. Without thinking she leans forward and kisses him. Something out of childhood at first, then dissolving into the adult world that pulls her in so quick that she lays a hand flat against one of his sallow, hollow cheeks. Severus doesn't faulter for one moment. He is immediatly kissing her back, pulling her as close as he can get her to his own body and when their hips meet she moans against his mouth involuntarily and pulls him onto her. He settles his weight down and her legs spread around him to make them both more comfortable as he dips his head and kisses her as deeply as he can, breathing hard from the heat that Lily is oblivious to. His hair falls down over her face and he pulls away and stares down at her and god, she loves the way he looks in that moment. Full of intensity and desire and he feels so right.
"You are so beautiful," he whispers, his black eyes glittering, shifting his hips so that she can feel how hard she has made him and she gasps and reaches up and tangles her fingers into his hair and jerks his head back down, his lips smashing against hers a second time.
Severus is the first boy she ever kisses, the first one to tell her she is beautiful in any believable way.
His body shakes and he starts to kiss her jawline. It feels wet and cold and amazing and she shivers under him, relishing the heat of his body pressing her down into the bed. Her hands grasp the back of his neck, pressing him to continue dragging his lips across her throat as she raises her hips up to meet his in a desperate, sudden need.
"I want you," Severus whispers against her collarbone. "Let me have you."
Her head is such a jumble of desire and confusion as they break this delicate balance in their friendship, and then a sudden dread fills her. Their friendship. Their friendship. What would be left for them after this? And if Severus was jealous now (he was, insanley so, about everything) what would it be like when she actually belonged to him in some real sense? How had this all started, how had it escalated so quickly?
'Wait," she whispers suddenly, pushing him off her again. He is panting hard against her and his hands skirt up the sides of her tank top, so close, and he leans in to kiss her again but then he is tumbling off of her and falling on the ground off of the bed, Lily having shoved him off of her uncerimoniously.
'That potion.. did you put something in it?" she asks with a trembling voice, her hair a mess from the comforter and his jackets hanging off of her awkwardly. She has stopped shivering for the moment.
It takes a long minute for Severus to realize what she is asking him and his eyes go up to her in horror and disbelief. "You don't honestly think..." he stands up, still breathing hard and looks down at her crumpled state on his bed. "You think I would.. do you really think..." He sounds utterly bewildered.
Lily starts to feel hot tears form, not sure what she had meant, confused. "I'm sorry Sev, I didn't..I just.. what has gotten into me? It.. I don't understand it.. you're my best friend and friends don't.." She struggles to make sense of it, one shiver running through her with a trill.
Severus's face is dark and disgusted and he throws a hand down his desk, knocking all of the bottles he had made the cold potion with to the ground and shattering them. Lily jumps from the noise. A tangerine fizzle hangs in the air from the awkward combination of ingrediants and smoke hisses off the floorboards like cold ice.
"It can't just be that you want me as much as I want you.. no.. Lily Evans the Gryffindor is above desire," he roars, each word more hoarse. "It has to be that the slimey little Slytherin boy has poisoned her mind.."
Lily has hot trails of tears running down her cheeks, now. "Severus I was just, I've never felt that way before, I didn't mean-"
"GET OUT!" he screams at her. When she doesn't move he grabs her by her forearm and jerks her off of his bed and shoves her toward the window.
She stands, shaking and crying, and finally turns away from him and manages out of the window.
"Sev, you're my best friend," she cries, wrapping her arms around herself.
Severus simply slams the window down and the curtains follow shortly after.