Well here's the next chapter. Enjoy. Oh, and I do not own Cut by Plumb or House of Anubis. But I do own this story and the poem below.
I made mistakes,
When I cut my flesh.
But, it feels so good,
But so wrong.
I don't want to lie,
But I don't want you to discover,
What lies below,
In me.
I need help,
Though I will not admit it.
You must see,
The pain I face,
To truly understand,
Why you must not know.
Help me please.
Come quick,
But stall as well.
I want to recover,
But not get well.
Save me fast,
But leave me to die,
I'm tired of feeling the pain inside.
Jerome P.o.v.
"Why do you have blood on you?" Mara asked staring at me worriedly. Then everyone turned to look at me. I could feel myself breaking under their steady gaze. "I can explain," I said quickly. "Well, explain already," Trudy said getting impatient. "Well, I…uh had a nosebleed, and I was just leaving to change my clothes after I got blood on them, when I …um heard a scream, so I … uh… raced back here to see what happened," I lied quickly. "Are you sure you are not hurt, sweetie?" Trudy asked, looking at me kindly. "Yes, I am fine," I replied avoiding eye contact. "Well, o.k. then. I have to go get supper ready. Will anyone be willing to help?" "I'll help," both Nina and Fabian replied at the same time. They glanced at each other blushing, and then followed Trudy out of the room. "I'm going for a run. See you later, Mara," Mick replied pecking Mara on the cheek. Patricia looked at me, then headed upstairs without saying a word. "Bye guys," Amber said. "I'm going shopping, anyone want to join me?" "I will," Alfie said with a slight smile. "Great! You can help me carry all my shoes and clothes and accessories," she cheered. Sigh. Poor Alfie. Mara glanced over at me and looked me straight into my eyes. I felt as though she was looking right into my soul with her bright brown eyes. I saw doubt cross her features as she left the room. Does she know I was lying? I thought to myself as I walked into the bathroom. I grabbed a towel and started to wipe up my blood. When the floor was clean, I proceeded over to the sink to rinse out the blood stained towel. After a few minutes the towel was once again a crisp white. I hung it over the side of the tub and headed toward the room me and Alfie shared. I closed and locked the door and walked to my dresser. I pulled out a fresh t-shirt and pulled off the one that was stained with drops of blood. I threw the soiled one into the hamper and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My skin was pale and you could see my ribs through the thin layer of skin on my stomach. If you saw me you would think I haven't really eaten in months and you would be right. I stopped eating shortly after Mick stole the love of my life. I knew as long as Mara was with Mick I didn't have a chance. After that, food lost its taste and it didn't seem worth eating, so I didn't. Also, the cutting problem started around that time as well. Life just didn't seem worth living, so I started to kill myself slowly, and painfully. The way I deserved. Now I didn't just cut my wrists, I also cut across my stomach, and on my thighs. Although I don't cut there anymore, you can still see the faint red lines on my flesh. I sighed and slipped on the clean shirt. I looked at my face in the mirror. My skin was pale, and looked almost yellowish from lack of nutrition, my eyes were bloodshot from many hours spent crying silently, and I had deep bags under my eyes from days without sleep. All in all, I looked like a zombie. Suddenly, loud screaming broke me out of my deep thoughts. "I hate you, and I never want to see you again." Crash. "Fine. Same to you." Thump. Then I heard soft cries and footsteps heading upstairs. Oh, Mara. I unlocked the door and ran up the stairs. I walked over to her room and knocked softly on the door. "Go, away Mick." I heard from inside the room. "I'm not Mick and you are very lucky I feel bad for you otherwise I would have my revenge for being called that meathead," I said through the door. "Oh, Jerome. Come in," she said softly. Ever since the election we have had a special bond. Although I wish it was more, I'm glad I get to spend time with her. As I walked in I noticed she had her head under the covers and there were pillows and blankets scattered across the room. I sat down on the edge of her bed and slowly pulled the covers down. Most of her hair was messed up and sticking up in awkward directions, while other parts were stuck to her face with tears. Her mascara was running down her face making her eyes look like those of a raccoon. Her clothing was disheveled and her eyes were red and puffy from crying. "Don't look at me," she said hiding her face once more with the blanket."I look awful." "You don't look awful, you look beautiful, just like always," I said pulling the covers down once more. "You're lying," she said looking up at me through wet eyes. "No I'm not. You are always beautiful, no matter what," I said truthfully as I gazed down at her. She blushed lightly. "So, what are you doing here," she asked still watching me. "I came to see if you were alright which now I see is not the case, so what happened with you and the meathe- I mean Mick," I said still staring back at her. "Well, for one, you have my approval to call him a meathead, and two I caught him with some blond slut. He was flirting with her and was leaning in to kiss her when I walked in. I dumped him on the spot. Which caused him to yell at me and slap me across my face," she said pointing to a purple bruise now forming across her right cheek. "I told him I hated him and he said the same thing to me. I ran up here and started to cry. Then you came in," she said looking down. I felt anger well up in me. How Mick could do something like this to Mara made me seethe with rage. I stood up and was about to leave, when she caught my wrist. "Don't go," she said her eyes once again filled with tears. I sat said back down and pulled her close. I felt her shudder as she cried into my shoulder. I stroked her hair absentmindedly. I whispered soothing words to her and heard her cries die down. For the first time I noticed how close we were. My cheeks heated up at the thought of it. I could feel her heart beating steadily. I wonder if she could feel mine. She pulled back and I looked into her eyes. We started leaning closer and closer until our lips touched. Fireworks would be an understatement. It felt as though the whole world didn't exist and it was just me and her. I felt a tingle run down my spine. I was kissing Mara. I was kissing Mara. Oh my god, I was kissing Mara. I shouldn't be doing this. She was like a ray of sunshine. I couldn't get close to her without tarnishing her brilliance. I am like poison. I'm rotten. I don't deserve her; no one does. I pulled away quickly. "Oh my god, Mara. I'm so sorry," I said as I exited the room in a burst of speed, leaving her sitting on her bed in a slight daze. I raced into my room and locked the door. I reached under my bed and grabbed my razor. I sat cross-legged on the floor and rolled up my sleeve. I unwrapped the gauze and pressed the blade down. I can't believe I did that. She must hate me now. How could I kiss her? She probably thinks I was using her. I ruined our friendship. She'll never forgive me, I thought as I made another slice on my already damaged wrist. Tears ran down my face and landed on my open wound as I slid the blade over once again. Blood leaked onto the carpet and dripped down on my once unstained clothes. My razor was a bright crimson by the time I stopped. I wiped it clean and rewrapped the blood stained gauze on my cuts. I removed my clothes and grabbed a clean shirt and pants. I slipped them on and then proceeded to scrub out the blood that was in the carpet. Once all traces of blood were gone I slipped the razor back under my bed, and pulled down my sleeve. I unlocked the door and sat back down on my bed. I grabbed my iPod and lay down on my bed. The song Cut by Plumb came on.
I'm not a stranger,
No, I am yours.
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore.
A fragile frame aged,
With misery.
And when our eyes meet,
I know you see.
I do not
Want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists
I find it when,
I am cut
Sigh. It's amazing how accurate these words are about my life. I put the song on repeat and fell into a deep sleep.
I may seem crazy,
Or painfully shy.
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye.
I feel alone here and cold here,
Though I don't want to die.
But, the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside.
I do not
Want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists
I find it when,
I am cut.
Pain.
I am not alone.
I am not alone.
I'm not a stranger,
No, I am yours.
With crippled anger,
And tears that still drip sore.
I do not
Want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists
I find it when,
I was cut.
That is the end of the chapter. Please R&R.