I hadn't thought that far back in a long while. I sighed sadly, my eyes dropping.
"I guess I'm just thinking a lot more, lately." I paused. "It would be nice to enjoy your company more often, mon ami."
He laughed. "'My friend..' Hmm. I suppose I'd never really thought about it that way, cherie." He shook his head. "But I suppose that is closest to what we are, correct?"
We both sat in silence, waiting for the other to say more. I searched for his hand, covering it with mine. My sudden surge of humanity would be almost embarassing, if it weren't so refreshing...
"If I spoke, would you listen?" My eyes pleaded with his.
"My specialty is silence, as you know," He gave a soft smile, tinged with the least bit of sadness. "I am a very good listener."
"Thank you." I paused, scooting to cuddle with him before I spoke. He almost recoiled from my advance. Almost.
"Life is too short, Spy." I exhaled softly. "Too short. Especially here, tu sais. We both know this. And I can't help but feel it is quite tragic in its nature."
"Such sentiment is unwise, cherie." Contradicting his statement, he rested his head on my shoulder.
"I know, once again, as do we both. You know it best to resist my tenderness, yet you accept, non?" Smiling sadly, I gave him a soft kiss. He did nothing to resist.
I nuzzled against him. "So you understand too, oui? Why not indulge when death may be just around the corner?"
He nudged me a bit. "With all the somber talk, I'm sure you light up a room, eh?"
"I used to." So many memories. "I wish you could have known me then, Spy. "To have known me then would have been so refreshing to you, I'd think."
There are many things that I could have said then, things that I hadn't the courage to say. Things that I wanted to say.
"We could have...been something."
It took me by surprise to hear him say that...but it made me happy. Happy to hear it; happy that it wasn't me that had to say it. I smiled sadly at him.
"Exactly."
I noticed then how cold it had become outside. We sat there in silence for a while, and I wondered where to begin.
"My life was ok, before this. Let me tell you about it, Spy." I gripped his hand. "Then you'll know who I once was."