Finn sat at the table while Rachel was organizing her notes for her opening statement. He was nervous, like palm sweating, eye twitching nervous. Glancing over at Kurt, Finn took in how cool and collected his step-brother appeared, wondering how that was even possible. Kurt was sitting there, one leg crossed over the other as he waited for the trial to start. Even Rachel looked calm and collected, of course neither of them had their clothes on trial.
Finn glanced over at the witness seats and saw Brittany, Mr. Schue and Artie smile at him, with Artie giving him a double thumbs up. They'd all done really well at Rachel's practice sessions, even Brittany. Rachel had patiently coached her for hours, until Brittany finally memorized her part.
Finn gulped when he saw Kurt's witnesses: Santana, Blaine, Quinn, and an empty chair next to Quinn. Both Santana and Quinn were sending death glares in his direction, making him extra nervous about what they'd reveal about their relationships with him. He wondered what the empty chair was for, then figured Mr. Kidney the janitor must have just left an extra chair on the stage.
Finn's secret witness wasn't there yet, but should be showing up shortly. Looking at the back of the stage caused memories of this morning to come flooding into his brain. All of Finn's vests were on display on Kurt's Headless Mannequins and he groaned just thinking of what had gone down earlier.
"Dude, what the hell?" Finn cried as Kurt stormed into his room, wearing surgical gloves and holding Burt's grilling tongs. Blaine came following behind holding a garbage bag.
"I'm gathering evidence Finn," Kurt said as he then proceeded to grab every vest with the tongs, including the ones Finn had rescued from the tree, and threw them into the bag.
Pulling the gloves off, Kurt looked pointedly at Finn and announced, "I am going to show everyone what an abomination these vests are. These are going to be displayed on my Headless Mannequins, despite the fact that I need them to figure out what to bring for Nationals, but it's all for the cause, although they will be covered by a garbage bag. I refuse to allow these vests to touch my Mannequins. Tossing the final vest into the bag, Kurt swept out of the room in a flourish with Blaine hauling the bag vests shaking his head in laughter.
"Sorry Man. If it helps, Kurt won't let me wear my green sweater, because apparently, it's not complementary to my skin tone.
Finn smirked. Kurt thought he was so smart, coming in and stealing his vests. Little did he know, his navy blue vest was under the bed and Kurt hadn't thought to check there, so he wore that with his blue and white button down and navy t-shirt, just to annoy him. Rachel had whole heartedly approved saying, "You need to look yourself Finn, and what you are wearing is quintessential Finn. That'll bring the jury to our side." Rachel had given him that smile that made him feel that everything was right in the world.
Finn, in turn approved of what Rachel was wearing. Her owl sweater was just adorable, and made Rachel, Rachel. Just like his vests made him, him. Of course Finn also liked the owl sweater because owls were supposed to be really wise and Rachel was one of the wisest teenagers he knew. Kurt on the other hand, always dressed like he stepped out of one his European fashion magazines. It wasn't real- what was the word Rachel had told him…relatable, that was it. The way Kurt dressed just wasn't as relatable, so Finn hoped that he had that going for him too.
Kurt had done a double take when he'd walked into the room, jumping up from the table. "What is that?" he hissed. "Judge Puckerman! I object! The Defense withheld evidence and is currently wearing said evidence!"
"Huh?" Puck stopped flirting with Santana to stare stupidly at Kurt.
"The vest, Puck. Finn is wearing a vest, even though they're all supposed to be on display!"
"Hummel, it's his vest. Besides, you can't object during opening and closing statements. Didn't you ever see My Cousin Vinny?"
"But-" Kurt sputtered.
"No buts, Hummel. I can't hold you in Contempt of Court, but I can make you wear one of those puffy vests if you don't shut up," Puck said, banging his toy gavel for effect."Now let's hear from the Jew of the courtroom. Berry, you ready?"
Finn, who'd completely missed the entire exchange between Kurt and Puck because he was distracted by a bit of Rachel's thigh exposed under her skirt, now turned his attention to Puck, who was sitting on a stool at the podium, banging a toy gavel and saying something. Rachel stood up and straightened her skirt and sweater, gave Finn's hand a squeeze and proceeded to walk to the center of the stage, looking at the jury of Sam, the Bieste and Mercedes, seated to the left of Puck.
"Ladies and gentleman, I am here today to defend the choices that Finn Hudson makes every day, in regards to what he wears. Now, Finn is a teenage boy and can be very fickle in his thoughts and actions, like being a hypocrite or being dense, but one thing Finn is always sure of is how he appears." Rachel flashed Finn her smile while Finn was wondering if she really was on his side or not. He continued to listen to her, hoping the rest of the speech was more favorable towards him. "Finn has his own unique sense of style, often not worrying what others think of how he looks. But one person, one single person, has decided that Finn needs to change how his look, whether Finn wants to or not, and that person is Kurt Hummel, McKinley's very own Mr. Blackwell." Rachel's voice raised slightly as she pointed to Kurt dramatically, as Kurt gave off a bored appearance.
She continued her speech in her unique Rachelesque way. "This whole thing started because Finn asked Kurt his opinion on which puffy vest he should take to New York, which caused Kurt to throw said vests out the window. I repeat, Kurt threw them out the window and into a tree! Now, Kurt is the first person to say that fashion is a personal choice, and Finn has made his choice. He is an all-American, outdoor loving boy, and what piece of clothing extols the virtue of the outdoors more than a puffy vest? Finn has never forced anyone to ever wear his vests or made negative comments about what anyone wears, so why should we, as his peers do the same to him. Kurt does not have the right to dictate what Finn may or may not wear even if they are step-brothers and Kurt is a fashion maven. My job is to show you that Finn should be allowed to keep his puffy vests and display his personality through them, and not send them to Kurt's bonfire of doom. Thank you."
With that, Rachel walked back to their table with a huge smile on her face, her skirt swishing side to side, happy with her speech. Taking his attention away from her legs Finn pulled out her chair for her and helped her scoot up, just as Finn heard a snort come from the other side of the stage. Looking over at Kurt, Finn saw the determined fire in his blue eyes, meaning that Finn and Rachel were going to have fight for his vest's life.
Kurt slowly stood up, pausing to adjust his own clothing. He'd chosen to model his courtroom attire on Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, with a slightly modern twist. He smoothed down the jacket of the black Hugo Boss 2 button pinstripe suit he'd chosen and adjusted the bright red power tie, confident that he looked the part of lawyer perfectly. Stepping away from the table, he placed his fingers on his chin, drumming them in a carefully practiced motion.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand here before you to illuminate you as to why puffy vests are a crime against humanity. Just because our parents have married, does that mean I should be forced to suffer through having to stare at a puffy vest across the dinner table? While the defendant's lawyer does make a good point about freedom of fashion, it should be pointed out that our Founding Fathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness. I simply cannot be happy in the presence of a puffy vest. These puffy vests are denying me one of the most basic rights given to me as an American." He paused, pacing in front of his table slowly. "The Defense also points out that fashion is a personal choice; however said lawyer is currently wearing an owl sweater and has been known on several occasions to wear a pants suit. A pants suit." He paused again for dramatic effect, running a hand across his hair flip. "We all know the twisted relationship the Defense has with her client. Her awful fashion choices may be influencing him unfairly. Finn may want to get rid of his vests, but is unable to do so, never having had a proper fashion icon to follow. But I digress. The fashion atrocities committed by the defendant's lawyer can be saved for another trial. The matter at hand is the puffy vest. I intend to prove to you all why my bonfire is a necessary evil, one that will be for Finn's own good. Thank you." He returned to his seat, throwing a nasty glance at Rachel and Finn.
Finn sat quietly, not wanting to put his head in his hands and show weakness while he listened to Kurt start his opening speech, but it was hard not to. Rachel was busy taking notes on what Kurt said and checked things off of one of the many lists she had in front of her. When Finn dared to look away from Rachel and her papers, he grimaced as he saw what Kurt was wearing. It reminded him of Men in Black, just further cementing the thought in his head about how much they were opposites. This trial, no matter what, wasn't going to end well.
"Order!" Puck banged the gavel rather hard on the podium, sending the head flying towards Mr. Schue, who caught it deftly. "Court is going to play for fifteen minutes because I gotta take a piss and from the looks of Britts, she does too. Everyone be back here in fifteen!"
Rachel, Kurt and Finn all looked at Puck with a "What the hell did you just say?" look on their faces.
"I said go play for fifteen, I gotta piss. You know, when everyone leaves the courtroom for a break? Don't you guys ever watch Law and Order or NCIS?"
Rachel was the first to catch on, having learned to decipher Finn's Finnish. "You mean recess Puck. Courts take a recess, which means a break," Rachel explained simply like she was talking to a five year old.
"Yeah, what Berry said. The court is taking a fifteen minute recess. Come on Brittany!" Puck called over his shoulder, taking off like a shot towards the hallway, while Kurt looked on with amusement and Finn groaned knowing he was already done for.
A/N: And so it begins...opening statements are done, onto the witnesses!