I continued to shake his hand, my mind had now completely collapsed and I had no clue how to stop. It was him who had to pull away. "Shall we go?" He asked. I turned to Alice trying to see clearly again, to get his face out of my head. I soon found out it was impossible.
"Yeah sure let's go. But I have to warn you there's not much to see." Alice said looking upset. Alice liked to think big, so she didn't like the idea of having to tour her cousin around such a small city like Seattle.
"I'm sure we can still have some fun, there has to be some fun things to do in this place." Edward said. I didn't look up. I convinced myself I didn't want to. I didn't want to go through another Jacob relationship, and though i knew this guy could be completely different, I couldn't open myself up to him. But I found myself desperately wanting to. My mind and my heart were at war: my heart telling me to go for it, take love on a ride and see were it takes me. My head was telling me to stay were I was, single; not to take the chance of getting hurt, not to make myself that vulnerable. And though I desperately wanted to go with my heart, I felt my head was right. I didn't want to be hurt like that again.
We walked along the the fountains at the mall, they stretched a few yards but I never notice the walk. I'm always looking at the lights, the way the fountain shoots up in the air and then lightly falls down into a light trickle of water spouting from the ground, the blue lights making it look magical. I looked up to see how many of... Edwards friends were here with him. There were two. One was big. Really big and very muscle built. His hair was a dark brown. He seemed very happy, sort of playful, like a kid in a playground. The other was smaller. Not as big as the dark haired one. His hair blonde. Alice seemed to like him. She was walking close beside him listening to him as he spoke to her. I turned my head back to the fountains.
"Hi," said a voice that I had only heard once before but had already known too well. Don't do it, just keep walking, my mind said. But I couldn't be rude. Well that's what I told myself.
"Hey," I said willing my self to turn my head towards the voice. And there it was. The face I was trying to forget. The eyes I was trying to look away from, but was now hooked on. The smile that knocked me breathless.
"It's really nice here. I don't know why Alice told me it wasn't special. These fountains are beautiful, and those stars... you don't get anything like this in New York, It's almost magical don't you think?" He stopped walking and sat down at the wall around the fountain, patting the space next to him with his hand. I sat down and looked up at the stars. They really were beautiful and seeing them cleared my head a bit giving me the knowledge to speak.
" Yeah this place is my favourite place at night. It's always so quiet too." I said being careful not to look at him. I knew one look could render me speechless in a second.
"O.K." He laughed. I was confused, did i say something funny? "Could you please explain to me how you and Alice are friends?" He continued to laugh "You guys are so different, Alice never notices this kinda stuff, she's always to busy thinking big to think about the small things, they always seem to pass her by. But you, you're the opposite and I really don't get it." I felt uncomfortable, I didn't like how the conversation had turned to me. I turned my head slightly to look at him. I focused trying to think of him as something that repulsed me, it was impossible. But I continued to stare, never looking away. He looked at me obviously waiting on a response, and somehow I found myself thinking clearly enough to give it to him.
"Yeah, Alice and I are really different, but she's a great friend" I said, I was still looking at him and I realized that I was about to fall hard. I snapped myself back not letting it happen again, terrified that if I did my parachute might break. "We should get going!" I said hopping up and beginning to walk towards Alice. She was a down at the other end of the fountain, about a five minute walk. I heard his footsteps getting faster catching up with me. Great.
" Why do you keep doing that?" He asked. He sounded confused. He wasn't the only one.
"Doing what?" I asked, seriously confused now.
"Moving away from me, you barely even look at me." He said looking at me, his eyes searching mine, making it impossible to move away.
" Em... " I didn't know what to say. Oh because looking at you makes me completely speechless? No, I wasn't saying that. "I don't know..." I muttered. Why was I lying? I was so bad at it.
"You're a really bad liar" He said, a chuckle escaping his lips.
"Bella!" Alice called. I had never been so glad to hear her voice in my life. " Come on! We've been at this stupid fountain all night! I'm getting kind of hungry. Edward are you hungry?" She asked, completely oblivious to the tension between us.
"Yeah sure" he said, not really focused. He was staring at me again. Or maybe trying to figure out what was going on in my mixed up head. It was going to be pretty hard for him since I had no clue. How had this happened? How could one boy that I've just met change my entire view on relationships and... love. Why were my mind and heart at war? And wheven though I desperately wanted my mind to win, I knew my heart would.