But I'm a jinx. And nothing can stay perfect for too long with a jinx. I should have seen it coming. I can't stay this happy for too long. I saw him and the walls of the party came crashing down around me. It was Jacob. He was with a girl I recognised from when I was little. An old preschool friend I think. She recognised me too. Jacob was laughing, already joking with one of his friends. He didn't notice my presence at all. He didn't even look at me, but his arm was tight around her.
Edward noticed I had stopped. He looked around and saw where I was looking. It didn't take him long to guess who Jacob was. He also noticed the girl.
"You ok?" He asked. But I couldn't answer. I couldn't even look at him. It was as if he wasn't there anymore. I could feel his hand in mine but not with the same intensity as before. Why was I feeling this way? I knew it was just because he was with her and I knew I couldn't get over the heart break in a second but I still never expected to feel hurt like this. A tear streamed down my face and I left the house. I couldn't stand to watch anymore. It hurt too much. I sped right past Jacob ducking my head so no-one could see I was crying. Edward followed. He grabbed onto my hand as I ran for my car.
"Bella, where are you going? I know it's hard but he's moved on and so have you. It's better this way, you can both be happy." He said. He sounded like he was pleading. Like he was trying to convince me that this was all for the best, not knowing if it really was. But nothing helped. I spun around. My face was no doubt red and puffy by now.
"I'm not happy though. I don't know why, but I'm not." I looked down. I started to doubt myself now. Suddenly this Edward thing felt too soon and real. I suddenly felt like a race car driver speeding with no brakes. I was going to crash and burn. "I think we should rethink us for a while. I don't know if I can get back into something as big as this right now." His eyes searched mine desperately. He was making this hard. I knew that I liked him, well more than like, but I also knew that I couldn't stay with him and go back inside. Seeing Jacob would hurt too much and if it hurts this much now I didn't see how I could be with Edward.
"Bella, I can make you happy. It's been two days, please just don't say no so quickly." His eyes had gone way past desperation now. But I couldn't give in. Why did everything feel like a war right now?
"Edward, I have to go." I said quickly before the tears came streaming down my face. I didn't dare look in the rear view mirror. It would be too hard.
When I got home, I texted him. "We can still be friends. Sorry x." I felt sick. How was it possible for any heart to hurt so much. I knew I wasn't upset about Jacob because I liked him, or that I missed him. It was the fact that I knew he had forgotten about me. Every time we were together was as if it never happened. He never loved me like I loved him. That's what hurt.
I twisted around in my bed and faced towards the window. I wondered what Edward was doing. He had probably already moved on and forgotten. I was nothing special, Jacob proved that. Easily replaced, easily forgotten.