The next morning was hard. I woke up with a horrible feeling in my stomach. I didn't feel like I could speak and I didn't want to. I sat up and brushed against my hair with my hand, not bothered to get a brush. I checked my phone, terrified because by now Edward will have told Alice and I didn't want to see what she had in store for me. I suspected a lot of caps lock and the occasional triple exclamation points. I reluctantly glanced at my phone. 21 messages. I got home at 12.30am, does Alice ever sleep? I scrolled through them but they were all the same. The first few were just things like "where are you?" But after that my full name began to appear in every second message and I was definitely right about the caps lock. She was angry with me but I didn't care. The last message however I did care about. "You're coming over today! Twelve SHARP! Don't make me come over there Bella Marie Swan!" This was the scary Alice, definitely not to be messed with.
I decided no matter how bad I felt I should go, I didn't need a broken heart and a broken arm. I started to text Alice to make sure Edward wasn't there but then I stopped myself, didn't I stay something about staying friends last night? I shouldn't be avoiding him, it would only get harder. I quickly got dressed and hopped in my car, knowing Alice would be taking no mercy if I was late, I had annoyed her enough already.
When I got to her house and stepped up to the door I quickly scanned the sitting room. Alice was there, sitting watching the clock like a hawk shaking her head. I was two minutes late. As I walked in she hopped up and I could see Edward from the corner of my eye in the kitchen. He was looking through presses and banging them closed when he couldn't find anything appealing. I had hurt him, that was certain. As he walked out he took a double take and looked at me. He looked embarrassed from his outburst. He smiled slightly and left. The smile wasn't crooked, it was broken. I broke it.
Alice grabbed my hand and towed me to the chair. I prepared myself for the storm.
"Bella I can't even begin! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? What made you make that stupid, stupid decision! Edward is so confused! EVERYONE is confused!" She ranted. I turned my head slightly to the side, desperately trying not to look at her.
"I... I got... Scared?" I didn't know what happened really, but scared seemed close enough. I was terrified really. I didn't know what I was thinking or feeling or what was going to happen next. I had no plan and I never felt so vulnerable.
"Scared of what? And why last night? Of all nights! Everything was going fine! Last I saw you two were dancing and the next I come back and see Edward sitting on the grass outside with his head in his hands!" She wasn't screaming, but she was talking very loud. I knew Edward could hear.
"I was scared that the... Jacob thing would happen again," I said fighting back the tears. "He says he loves me now and yes he probably means it at the time but it's so easy to move on and forget everything. I'm terrified that if I do get into this that by the end of the summer he'll leave and he won't come back." There was no stopping me now. I was bawling. I knew he could hear that too. I didn't want him to but by now I was sure he'd be trying to listen.
Alice was quiet. She was quiet for a while, which was really unusual for Alice. I suddenly felt like a big weight had been lifted. I needed to share that with someone.
"Bella... I can't guarantee that what happened before will never happen again, but you can't shy away from something because you're scared. Nothing you do in life is ever going to come without a risk, life would be boring otherwise. But that doesn't mean we can stop trying because of them." She said gently. I knew she was right. Alice was always there with her words of wisdom. I can't help but wonder if she researches these quotes for a rainy day.
"I'm just not ready yet. It was too rushed. Two days was too quick." I said and sat back. Alice didn't speak again. I heard footsteps on the stairs and quickly looked back. It was Emmett. He looked weary. He was listening too. I could tell, and he was coming down to find out more.
"Hey-lo ladies!" He said sprawling out on the chair. I really hoped my face wasn't red from crying.
"Emmett what are you doing?" Alice said laughing.
"I'm just here to have a chat with my two favourite ladies." He said with mock innocence. He did make me laugh. I liked Emmett. He seemed fun. I had to talk to him more often.
"Well this lady has to get home. I have homework." I lied, I just didn't want to stay here much longer. I needed to be home for a while.
"In the summer?" Emmett asked raising one eyebrow. Shoot.
"I have a school project." I lied badly. His eyes sparkled.
"Well then let me help! I'm bored here and I'm sure Alice won't mind if I take off for a while." He said winking at Alice. Oh no. I could see where this was going. More prying of information. I knew it wouldn't be as full on as my talk with Alice, he'd already heard that stuff, but I still wasn't in the mood.
"Ok... But I haven't started yet, there's a lot of work to be done. It will be really boring." I said trying to turn him off it. I really didn't want to start a whole fake project in the Summer."
"Nah, I think it'll be a lot of fun." He said and went to the door. I sighed and followed. I wasn't sure how this would turn out, another interrogation or possibly a hilarious day. Either was not knowing made me weary.