Hello again. Thanks for coming back and sticking with me and thank you everyone who reviewed! I answered each and will continue to do so, I really do appreciate it.

Theme song for this chapter: 45 by Shinedown. I think it gets at the feel of Jasper's emotions. I've noticed other people post links on their profile so I will start posting the links to the songs, so check it out there

Without further ado, I still own nothing Twilight related...

JPOV

Well this sure as hell wasn't how I expected my existence to turn out.

How the fuck did things turn out like this anyway? Here I am, walking around the streets of Rhode Island in the middle of the night surrounded only by drunk people, without any seeable future.

This wasn't where I wanted to be. The last thing I wanted was to prove her right. Sure, I may have understood but the last thing I wanted was to give her the satisfaction of being right. I thought back to that conversation we had over six months ago, about eight months after we had left Forks. The family was in Alaska by this point after Edward insisted we leave Washington.

"What am I supposed to do now Alice?" I looked at her wondering if my jaw was dropped with all the shock and surprise that I'm sure I was projecting right at her. She had just told me that we were done. We had been together for decades. Sure we knew that we didn't have the same thing as other couples I know Esme and Carlisle, Rose and Emmett, Peter and Char. She was meant to lead me here and we were meant to be in each others' lives though. We were not mates but we had decided long ago that at least we had each other.

"You're going to go out east for awhile Jazz, Rhode Island it seems." Her response to my rhetorical question brought me back to the moment. I guess I could understand her motivation, but we had been together so long, it's what we had decided. Why go back on it now? And now I was leaving, to go out east? Why would I do that? Unless, she didn't want me here anymore?

"Are you telling me I'm no longer welcome here?" I asked her, not sure if I really wanted the answer.

"No! No, of course not! Jazz, you are still one of my closest friends, of course you're welcome here. This is your family too."

"Well you know what Alice, I will leave. That's because I need sometime to think and don't want to sit around here with all the pity I'm sure to feel. But I want to make one thing clear, I am done being your puppet. I am not just going to do what you and your visions tell me to do anymore."

Her hurt and sadness hit me like a truck. "Fine Jazz, I was just telling you what I saw. I know you're upset. I didn't ask for it these visions you know." She took a deep breath as she calmed herself. "I love you, and I know you know that. But things are finally going to be right for us now, for all of us." What the hell did she mean by that. Of course I knew she loved me, I still loved her too. But it wasn't enough, maybe it never was.

After my conversation with Alice I left Alaska. The family had begged me to stay, saying we could work something out. I agreed to stay in contact and to the possibility of maybe returning someday. They seemed to understand why I needed to leave though. And although I felt their pity as I expected, there was little shock behind it. Maybe everyone had known all along that we were fakes.

I set out, not taking much with me. I didn't know how long I would be gone, or if I'd even be back. Truth is I had few possessions that I cared about. I took with me a few of the small items I had from my human years, a few books, a lighter, and a photograph. I grabbed a few articles of clothing and shoved them into my bag. Most of my clothing was selected and purchased by Alice anyway. I could always get new clothes if I needed too. I took my bag and set out on foot, not really sure where I was heading.

I thought the time to myself could do me some good. I didn't know where to go or what to do so I just lived the life of a nomad, going where I chose, without any plan. I think a part of me thought this way, if she was still watching me, it wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing my whole life before me. I made mostly spur of the moment decisions. I rented cars when I needed them, walked or ran when I could.

I spent time in cities across the country, though mostly sticking to the outskirts. I hunted when I could, whenever I came across wooded areas. I didn't really felt thirsty anymore. I knew I needed to hunt but I rarely felt the desire.

It was the opposite of what I had imagined, even feared. I had been with the Cullens for so long that I was worried what would become of me on my own. I knew I did not wish to return to hunting humans, I couldn't go back to that. But I didn't know what would happen without my anchor to the animal-hunting lifestyle.

The funny thing is, people barely seemed to bother me anymore either. I didn't push my luck, never going to really crowded places. The most contact I had was when I was roaming the streets at night, when I searched for whatever it was I was looking for. I felt like I was on my way somewhere and lost all at the same time.

After about six months of this I started wondering if this was how I would spend eternity, drifting, never tied to anything but always feeling like I was supposed to be somewhere.

I knew I wasn't meant for the nomad existence. I thought about calling Peter and Charlotte. Though they would never try to make me, they drank from humans. Maybe that's why I didn't call them right away, I wanted to make sure I was strong enough first. Or maybe I just needed this time to think. For whatever reason, I decided it was time one night while I was wandering around Virginia.

I sat on the sidewalk of a dark alley searching my pocket for my phone. I could tell that people passing by looked at me like I was mad but I wasn't afraid of anything that would come out of the alley. Then I felt my phone buzzing before I was able to dial myself.

"Jay, what's the haps brother?" Peter's voice rang through as I laughed to myself at his greeting.

"Hey Pete. What the hell kind of hello was that?" He was laughing too, and I could hear Charlotte's melodic laughter in the background.

"Oh you know, got to stay hip to blend in with the cool kids. What are you up to? Where are you hippies hanging your hat these days." It felt good to talk to Peter. I hadn't really talked to anyone in months. He liked to call us hippies due to our lifestyle. I hadn't talked to him since a few months before I left. I had told him I was in Alaska but I didn't know how permanent that would be, mostly because I was expecting Edward to cave and for us to return to Forks.

"I'm not really up to much. Just spending some quiet time in" I had to think about where I was now, I had been moving around so much. "Virginia I guess. I was just about to call you guys."

This caused a small chuckle from his end. "We had an inklin'. Why don't you come visit us, it's been too long."

I was afraid to ask. "Are you guys in Texas?"

"Nope. We have been hitting up the east coast. Char's on some antique kick, looking for some pieces for the house. Come meet us. We're just finishing up in Boston and then we're moving on. We'll be in Rhode Island in a couple of days and we're going to stay there for awhile. Char likes it there, it's peaceful." Dammit, there it is. She was right. I could decide not to go I guess. But I really did miss them and I wanted to see them. I couldn't live my life anymore wondering about her visions. She was right this time, but I was making my own decisions.

"Alright, see you then brother." And I hung up.

Three days later I showed up at an old house they had rented, seemingly of colonial architecture. It was large, but not to the size of any of the Cullen homes. It was three bedrooms and baths but it still had a cozy feeling. Charlotte and Peter both greeted me with hugs, but luckily for me didn't press me for answers.

Earlier tonight, the three of us were out back sitting in a tall tree, having a smoke together. Cigarettes really didn't do anything for a vampire but I found it still had a calming effect of me. Maybe it was habitual and I remembered how it did so when I was a human. Or maybe the act of breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly in itself helped calm me down. Either way, it reduced my stress level, especially when dealing with other people's emotions. It was not something I did often while with the Cullens though. Between their sense of smell, Edward's mind reading abilities, and Alice's visions, it caused more stress dealing with Carlisle, Esme, and Alice's disappointment after they found out.

Peter finally asked the question I'm sure they wanted the answer to since we first spoke. "So it's been two days now that you've been with us. I was waitin' for you to come round but this is getting ridiculous. Are you ever going to tell us what happened?"

"What do you mean?" I knew I couldn't fool them, I don't know why I tried.

Charlotte spoke this time. "Well sugar, you look like you're lost. I had a feeling somethin' wasn't goin' right for you before you even showed up. Now I'm sure of it."

Well, I might as well just tell them. "Well, you know how the last time we visited, a few years back I told you I worried Alice was giving up on us? Well I guess she finally decided it's too much. We both knew that things weren't exactly the way they should be. We had a connection that brought us together and we knew we were meant to be there for each other, but it was never, well like it should be." I looked at Peter and Char and motioned to them with my hands for emphasis before continuing.

"We always enjoyed each others' company and we had been close for so many years. But you can't force people into becoming mates that just aren't. I was okay with how it was, at least I had found some happiness, it was better than what I had known before. I was okay being together, whatever that meant for us, even if it wasn't everyone else's definition. But Alice started growing more restless and I guess that was it. You both know I had always felt like something was still missing, but I could deal with it. But she told me that we were done trying and that we were going to spend some time apart."

I laughed a little and they both just looked at me. "You know, she even told me I would end up here, in Rhode Island. But I went out on my own, trying to make my own choices. I was sick of everything being determined for me and not by me."

Charlotte rested her hand on my should. "You know Jasper, while I think it is important to make our own choices, some things are just meant to happen."

"How can you be so sure Char?"

"Oh hon', I just got a feelin' is all." Maybe she was right. For instance I had felt like I was meant to find the Cullens but I still had the choice of this lifestyle.

I sighed. "Well I'm not sure what to do now or where to go."

Peter chimed back in. "You're a good man Jay, you'll figure it out. And you can stay as long as you like with us."

It felt good to be with them. I wouldn't mind staying, at least for awhile. I loved being with the Cullens but there was so much history with Peter and Char. Besides, I felt like maybe this was where I was supposed to be right now, that this was what I needed.

We hopped down and headed into the house. Once we were inside they headed upstairs and I took my cue to leave. I headed for the door, grabbing my coat, more for show than necessity. I heard Peter call "you don't have to leave Jay."

I chuckled. I knew I didn't have to leave, I was more than used to them after all these years. I had also lived in a house of mated vampires. "Naw, you sure as hell ain't very quiet but it's not just that. I need to hunt anyway."

I hadn't hunted since I arrived. I wasn't planning on being around a lot of humans but I figured this was a good opportunity. I still was being careful not to fall back into my old ways. As much as I loved Peter and Char, that just wasn't my lifestyle anymore.

I found a wooded area just outside of town. We already lived in an isolated area, but I wanted to get a bit farther away. I caught myself a couple of deers and decided not to head back quite yet.

I went into town just walking the streets. It was nice to watch people from afar. Watching people as they passed made me feel like I was still a part of the world, even from a distance.

It was rather quiet tonight. By now it was about 3 AM. I had always liked the quiet. Being away from people gave me a break from their emotions and that was nice sometimes. When I found my way to what appeared to be the college end of town things picked up a bit.

There were drunk people coming home from the bars or parties, others not ready to call it a night. I didn't look out of place here. I looked the age of a college student and was wearing a pair of jeans and my leather jacket.

I walked and laughed as I watched someone stumbling in front of me when I caught a whiff of a familiar scent off in the distane. I couldn't quite place my finger on it. It had the incredible sweetness of something I knew fairly well, but there was something off about it. It almost smelled like someone I had known not too long ago. But I knew her scent, she smelled sweeter than anyone I had ever encountered. This was not pure like her scent. I was still interested though and decided to follow.

I didn't have to go very far. I walked at a quick human's pace and caught up with them after about five minutes. Sure enough there she was. Bella.

I hadn't seen the girl in over a year but it flashed back to me like it was yesterday. My brother's clumsy girlfriend, always so kind and forgiving, even when I tried to attack her on her birthday. That was only a year and some months ago but everything had been so different then. I had "been" with Alice, whatever that meant at the time. I still felt like I had a place that was my home. Bella had a place in the family, and didn't look or smell like she did now.

Her mahogany hair was longer than I remembered, hanging down in loose curls. If it were possible she looked paler than she did the last time I saw her, and worn out. The dark circles under her eyes gave her away.

It was her, but I could tell that time had taken its toll on her as it had me. Now that I was closer it was evident why she smelled different. Her blood was tainted, a bit of sour added into the sweetness.

I took in the scene in front of me. She was laying in the arms of some guy, her head pressed into his chest. She was wearing jeans and a sweater that clearly belonged to a guy. The guy was only wearing a t-shirt so I assumed it was his. He didn't look cold though, which I thought was strange for the time of year. Maybe he was on something.

I thought I saw her look at me for a second through groggy eyes as I felt fear and confusion coming off of her. Her emotions were weak though and her eyes were now closed.

I did not like what I was looking at. She was not happy with the situation she was in and something had obviously happened to her. I couldn't help a low growl that wanted to escape from my chest. I had felt defensive of her since she came to the family, we all had. I guess those feelings did not fade with time.

I hadn't known her very well, but when she was around I felt like she was in the right place. It was the same way I knew Alice and I were meant to meet. I always assumed that meant she was meant to be a part of the family. Edward had never really let her get too close to me though. He was probably afraid I'd hurt her, I can't say I blame him.

There were still people around and I decided to try not to make a scene. They were on the other side of the street now and I walked at a very quick human pace to follow them. I didn't want any unnecessary attention, it wouldn't help me or Bella. At the same time, I was angry. I didn't know what had happened and so I took off after them.

He noticed my approach and I tried to pinpoint his emotions. I could see the worry in his face as he looked at Bella. I wanted to know if he was afraid and likely to run. I could also see if he was guilty, dishonest. The funny thing was that I got nothing at all from him. I guess he must be really strung up on something because he was completely blank.

I noticed a shift in Bella's emotions though as she sunk deeper into his chest. Trust, safety, love, though not romantic. She was not afraid of being with him and that made me feel slightly better. But only slightly.

"Hey!" I cried out after them as I was approaching. "Wait up!" This only caused him to walk faster.

I decided to just take off after him and deal with whatever humans saw me after. They were probably all too drunk to be believable anyway. "Bella!" I cried out as I took off, but then they were gone. Just like that.

He couldn't lose me that easily. I started off on their trail as I realized something that stopped me dead in my tracks. I couldn't smell him. He had no scent and he could disappear into thin air. He couldn't have been faster than me and I had perfect night vision. It didn't make any sense.

What was this guy? I knew he wasn't a vampire. He had been pale, but only in a human way, although more to the extreme like Bella. His eyes had been brown, not golden, black, or red.

I had a feeling that Bella was safe with him based on her emotions, but I still had to find them. Whatever he was, I guess he didn't realize that I could still smell Bella. Her scent may have been muffled and tainted but I started to follow the light trail, more determined than ever.

A/N: Well, hope you guys are happy to see Jasper's appearance. I know it was still a bit slow, but we needed the background. I think it will be worth it so I hope you stick around. And please review, I'd love to hear what you guys think or what you think is going to happen, or whatever you have to say!