A tribute to the Godfather, Lord Shade. You asked for it.

Anna is ten. This is two years after the B's & D's story arc.

There were some low points in Logan's life. Half of which he could not remember thanks to Weapon X's little mind wipe program. However, a new one that came very close to beating all of them, even the time Sabertooth had left him for dead and he'd had to crawl through a blizzard with his guts hanging out, was upon him. The Wolverine was suffering the indignity of pushing a shopping cart through Wal Mart with his ten year old daughter. That part he didn't mind. She was a good kid, and he'd liked her pretty well at this point, even if she was mouthy. The problem was her skipping 'Uncle' Wade, literal skipping, next to him. Not for the first or fiftieth time, he was regretting saving him from Weapon X.

Honestly, what's the worst that could have happened if he'd ignored that call from Fury? The word 'clone' came to mind. He admitted it could be worse.

Even with the skipping and the stares that came with it, he could take. It use to annoy him, but he got over it. The real problem with his skipping 'brother' was the incessant noise coming out of his mouth.

They passed a woman with a cart with various items.

"Ooh, peanut butter! Can I have that?"

"No."

"Aw."

They passed an old woman.

"Ooh, cheesy puffs! Can I have some?"

"No."

"Aw."

A teenager carrying something in his hands.

Ooh, pickles! Can I – "

"Shut your mouth before I murder you? Yes, you can. Start now."

"You're bein' me to Uncle Wade again, Daddy," Anna said.

"Yeah, Daddy. You're being mean," Wade concurred.

"Do not call me 'Daddy'. And stop calling him 'Uncle'. We are not related."

"But we share the same blood. Genetically altered in sick, twisted ways that were not meant to be but it is so. We are family. Get up everybody and sing!" he threw his arms up in the air.

"He is too my uncle," Anna defended. "He acts like a uncle. It doesn't matter if it's blood."

"He acts like a mentally ill, asylum patient. You do know that when I got you out of that compound, you weren't supposed to stay, right?"

"Ooh, look!" Wade pointed, either not hearing Logan or deliberately ignoring him. "A baby. I love babies. They're like fat, little, remedial, drooling, mini people! Jimmy, we should totally get one. We could name him Wade Jr. Or Wadette. I don't do diaper duty."

The mother of pointed at baby sent them all strange looks before power walking away.

"Excuse me."

They collectively turned to see a little old lady with a buggy filled with cat food.

"I'm just curious. Which one of you is the man and which one is the b – "

"Price check on dog food! Price check on dog food."

They stared at her for a full minute, Wade covering Anna's ears. That was pointless as she heard what the woman said, and she's heard worse in several different languages anyway.

"Umm…Pardon me?" Wade asked, not quite sure what the lady said. He was pretty sure it was something off the wall, but he was the only one who was supposed to say off the wall things.

"Yes, because there's a tv show with some men like you and they have a little girl too. They were thinking about adopting another child. I was just curious, you see."

"Oh, he – "

"Laundry detergent on sale! Laundry detergent on sale!"

"No," Logan finished.

"You think we're gay?" Wade clarified.

"Well, that's what you are, aren't you?"

"Now that you mention it," Wade sent Logan an appraising look. "He is kinda queery, isn't he?"

Logan sent Wade a death glare that Anna would one day perfect. Even then, it did not work on the mentally insane. That's not to say he didn't recognize when someone was trying to set him on fire with their mind – You're not a pyrokinetic, silly - ; he just didn't care. The fact that he could live through just about anything did nothing to deter that thought.

"What?" Logan growled.

Anna was still trying to figure out what they were talking about.

"Me, personally, I don't swing that way. I can't really say for sure about you, buddy. Say, is that why Rae-Rae left you?"

Logan had been trying really very hard to keep a check on his anger, going through the pros and cons of decapitating Wade. Cons: they were in public, that would draw attention, bad example for the brat, he still wouldn't be dead. Pros: it would make him feel so much better.

SNIKT

"Can't you take a joke?" Wade yelled as he sprinted off, barely missing the claws aimed for him. "Or did Raven take your sense of humor with her when she left?"

Logan took off after him with a roar, going into a mini-berserker rage, leaving Anna with the buggy and the weird old lady.

"Oh, dang! I am so outta here," the old woman turned and ran off a lot faster than expected. Within seconds, the old woman was out of sight and a teenage boy with dark hair was running the same way.

Anna sighed, got the buggy, and went on to finish getting the items on her list. She wasn't concerned about either her daddy or uncle. They played like that a lot. She was sure they were just playing because every other time they did this, they came back fine. They were like little boys on the playground who play wrestling, except all grown up.

By the time her family showed up, she'd gotten everything on the list plus some and they found her looking at the boy's toys because you can only stare at so many Barbies before they start to look the same.

"You know what? You're mean. I can't take being in this relationship. All I do is, give, give, give, and you're just take, take, take. Well, let me tell you something, Mister. I wanna divorce!"

"I really do hate you. You know that, right?" Logan asked him, now a lot more calm.

"Yeah, but you hate me less than you hate Fluffy and Iron Pants and a whole lot of other people. I figure that I'm so low on your list of hated people that I'm pretty close to the like portion. It's all about proportions, my friend," Wade slung his arm over Logan's shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Logan growled.

"You sound like a woman," Wade removed his arm. "Do you have a headache too?"

"You ready to go, kid?"

Logan either ignored Wade's last comment or didn't hear him. Considering the enhanced hearing, probably the former.

"I been ready," Anna said, "Y'all two are the ones runnin' 'round playing all the time. I swear, y'all are like a couple of kids. I can't take ya anywhere. Ya just got no home trainin'," Anna grumbled, pushing the buggy between them and out the aisle.

They fell in step behind her. Seemingly, Logan had gotten over his mental lapse and Wade was running his mouth less.

"What's her problem?" Wade asked.

Logan grunted.

"Yeah, she probably just needs chocolate. It's like crack for them or something."

They kept walking toward the checkout silently for a moments before Wade had to ruin it. He honestly cannot help himself.

"If I were gay, you'd be the last, and I mean last, man on earth I'd be gay for. Between you or women, I'd have to go straight. Quite frankly, you are a ugly, U-G-L-YIIIIEEEE!"

Logan had, once again, lost all semblance of sanity and attacked Wade, this time clawless. Wade had enough sense to run. This was the last time he let them keep his guns in the truck. They took off past Anna who at this point was very tired of Wal Mart.

"You coulda at least left your wallet!" she called after them. "I'm beginning to think all boys are gay," she muttered, having come to the conclusion that gay meant stupid.

She saw her uncle running back towards her, her dad not in sight. He dropped something in the cart and kept running. Moments later, Logan ran past. Anna checked to see what he left. Logan's wallet and keys to the truck.

"Don't you dare leave us, young lady!" Wade commanded as he came running back the other way.

"Yeah, you're lucky I can't reach the pedals all the way."

"In other news, these men were seen at a West Coast Wal Mart," a bleach blond woman reporter said.

Tony glanced up at the TV screen where he saw a tall, red blur run by followed by a short, dark one.

"This happened twice and the police were called the second time, but as they weren't actually damaging anything and there are no behavior codes for it, they were not arrested. However, witnesses claimed that they heard the shorter man threaten to kill the other man."

Tony was already on his phone.

"Hello?"

"Anna, you know I meant it when I said you could live here, right?"

"Yes, Tony. I know you did and so did Rhodey. I don't want to though, so y'all just have to have your own babies. Maybe when they get older, they'll be as wonderful as me."

"Where did you get that ego from?"

"Ego? I don't know. Who could I have possibly picked that one up from? Oh, that was you."

"You know what? I just came back to my senses. I don't want you. I somehow forgot how evil you are."

"That's 'cuz you're stupid."

"Whatever. 'Bye, spawn of evil."

"Buh-bye, Nancy."

A/N: Haha, Everybody loves Raymond moment. Lord Shade, you may excel at the Zuko torture, but I'm thinking Logan torture is fitting pretty well for me . I think I'll do another one following this idea. I thank you for the fuel.

Does anyone else's mom complain of lack of home training? Well, whose fault is that, hmm? What people really need is 'not at home' training.

If it's not clear, that old lady was a shape shifter kid who needs a keeper. At this point, Logan does not have the tolerance and learned (forced) fondness of Wade.

Wal Mart security kinda sucks, don't it?

Now…what should Remy steal? Uh-oh. Nevermind. I got it :D The poor man.