~Before I Wake~

Author:
Danaeyl Panthernopaeus.

Postlude – Friday – A week later…

I woke around midday and that was good enough for me. I showered quickly, feeling more refreshed. Being able to find that so-called 'demonic angel' had lifted my spirits a great deal. I could get the problem with Shikyo and Koori taken care of, while punishing that blond for the disrespect he had shown me, a decade ago. Things were looking up.

I checked my reflection in the mirror above the basin. I was even looking a lot better. I didn't look drawn and tired. That was another good thing about finding Krad and having him remove whatever curse he had put on the doll. My good mood didn't last long, though. When do good moods ever last? I went into my room and my heart sank when I saw Shikyo on the bed.

So that's why I was in a good mood. I hadn't laid eyes on that damn death doll. I picked her up and went to put her on the bedside chest. My eyes widened and I dropped the doll. Takuma's tongue sat on the dark wood. I had searched my room and office for that. What was it doing on the chest? I stepped over Shikyo and checked the area around the bedside chest. I had no idea what I was looking for. I was fairly certain that the tongue hadn't been there the previous night. Of course, there are times when I'm wrong.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." I looked over my shoulder as Zero stood there, holding a piece of paper and reading from it. "As soon as you're dressed, we're heading off. What's that?"

My first instinct was to hide the muscle and make up some lie about it. I don't know where that instinct came from. Maybe it was because no-one had seen me searching my room and office. I didn't want to be blamed for Takuma's pain and suffering. That was just silly. Everyone knew that Shikyo and Koori were responsible for the pain that my friends were going through.

"Takuma's tongue," I answered. "I think Shikyo or Koori planted here for me to find." I shook my head. "I can't wait until things go back to normal and Shikyo is longer around." I went to my closet and pulled on clothes for the day. I was excited to get my old life back. The life where I didn't have to worry about which of my friends were going to be next.

"I'm guessing you're going to be leaving shortly, then?" Zero asked as he sat down on my bed.

"I want this over and done with, Zero. I don't want anymore of my vampires getting hurt because a little girl is holding a grudge against me." I picked up Shikyo and placed her back in her black coffin.

I could feel Zero's eyes on me as I wrapped the coffin in the brown paper and tied the string. I wasn't going to walk around with it in my hands so everyone could see it. I grabbed my coat and headed out the door with the package beneath my arm. Zero followed closely. I wasn't sure how we were going to find a store that had gone out of business a decade ago.

I decided to walk. If I called a car to the school it might raise some questions. I wasn't prepared to tell the Headmaster why we were heading out. I was already beginning to think myself insane for blaming the harm of my friends on a doll. I lowered my eyes. Zero wasn't saying anything, and I couldn't think of something sane.

The silence we were in felt strange. I felt as though I wanted to explain that nothing that had happened was my fault. I knew that Zero knew but it didn't change the fact that I was indirectly responsible for it all. I never had to explain myself before, so I had no idea why I felt compelled to explain my situation. I knew that Zero didn't really care what happened to the vampires.

I raised my eyes when Zero sighed. It was obvious there was something on his mind, but I wasn't going to ask. He looked at me oddly. It was like he was looking through me and I glanced over my shoulder. There was nothing there. I don't know what he was seeing. It could be possible that Koori had manifested for his eyes only. But it was me she was after.

Of course, if she really wanted to get to me, she would know to go through Zero or Yuuki. I was grateful that everything was going to be back to normal. Looking after my vampires, as well as Yuuki and Zero would be too stressful. I had too many things to worry about.

The walk was tedious. It was three hours of an overwrought silence. I found it to be silly. I couldn't understand why I was so...nervous. I didn't understand much of anything. I hadn't seen Koori once. I was hoping that she was with us, instead of hanging around the school, injuring some innocent. I shuddered to think of what else she could do.

Finally, we arrived at the store. I looked through the dusty windows and saw someone sitting on the counter. I tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. I pushed it open with ease and stepped in; Zero followed. I looked around the store. There were destroyed bodies of other dolls. There were heads laying around and dresses. I could imagine what the owner must have gone through when his son died.

I looked at the person on the counter. Bright gold eyes met mine and Krad smirked. My heart picked up speed as he got to his feet. None of the dust or dirt on the counter looked disturbed and Krad's white pants were still pristine. He circled him and stopped behind Zero, who was staring at a shelf that held broken dolls. He didn't seem to sense Krad.

"I'm surprised it took you this long, vampire. I really thought you would have put the pieces together in a day. It took Koori appearing for you put them all together. How sad." Krad pouted mockingly at me before he stood behind the counter.

I flashed back to ten years ago. There was something about the way that Krad held himself that made a shiver run down my spine. I placed the package on the counter. "I'm returning this. I don't want whatever curse you have put on it. I don't want whatever little girl is haunting it to continue hurting my friends."

Zero straightened and looked over his shoulder. "Who are you talking to, Kaname?" he asked as he stood beside me. He looked over the counter and then stared at me. "Why are you acting so strange?"

I frown at his questions. Could he not see Krad? The blond was standing right in front of him and he couldn't see him? I wasn't the one that was acting strange. I didn't know what to say. "I'm talking to the demonic angel that we came here to see."

Krad snickered as he sat on the counter again. He licked Zero's cheek, who didn't feel it. He didn't even sense it. I growled at the golden blond and pulled Zero away. I didn't want my lover anywhere near that psychopath. I didn't care what plans Krad had made to screw with me. I wasn't going to let him win. He had barely won the round of selling Shikyo to me.

Zero raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, Kaname, what has gotten into you? I know that you're in a weird place and you probably don't understand what's going on ––"

I shook my head. "You're the one that isn't making any sense, Zero. Krad is right in front of you. Why are you pretending that you can't see him?"

Zero searched the area in front of him and bit his lower lip. My eyes lit up. He had seen Krad. He had to have. It was impossible to miss the six foot tall blond that was directly in front of him, smirking. Zero turned to me again and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kaname. There isn't anyone there. There isn't anyone here but us."

"And Shikyo," I said, pointing to the counter. My eyes widened when the package was missing. I ran over to the counter and looked behind it and under it. "Where is it? What happened to it?"

Krad shrugged as he walked around the store, keeping his eyes on me. I tried to ignore him as best as I could. My heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. Nothing was making any sense and Zero wasn't helping. There was no doll, which could be a good thing. But where was she? Why wasn't she here? I had too many questions and my head felt like it was about to explode.

"Did she even ever exist?" Krad asked smugly as he appeared in front of me. His white wings appeared behind him and he wrapped them around me. "Is she real, Kaname?" he whispered into my ear. "Or did you kill Koori and her family? Were you the one that hurt your friends? Was Shikyo just an excuse?"

I jerked away from the angel. For a celestial being, he was such a prick. I couldn't understand how something so beautiful could so twisted and demented. Zero eyed me curiously. I ran my hands through my hair and stared at my feet. I knew I had to look a lunatic to Zero. With the way that he was watching me, it was the only thought that could be going through his head.

"Where is Shikyo? Did you move her?" I stared at Zero, hoping, praying that he would tell me that he had accidentally knocked her off the counter. I needed something so I would be so clueless.

Zero closed his eyes. "Kaname," he started slowly. "Who is Shikyo?"

"What?" I demanded. I gripped the front of Zero's shirt. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. She's the doll. The death doll. She was delivered to me at school. I know you know what I'm talking about. You didn't like her. The letter that came with her smelled like cats blood."

"This again?" Zero shook his head and gently removed my hands from his clothing. "Kaname, there is no Shikyo. There never has been. There is no Koori, either."

"But, my friends ––"

"Yes, your friends," Krad cut in as he hovered above us. "What did you do to your friends? What did they do to deserve such harsh punishments from you? I thought you liked your inner circle. They certainly liked you."

"Shut up," I snapped, glaring at the angel. "I didn't do anything to my friends. You know that Shikyo and Koori were responsible for that."

"Were they?" Krad shrugged as he landed soundlessly on the floor. He stepped to the side and on the window; I saw a movie beginning to play.

In it, I was walking through the Moon Dorm. I could hear the shower going and I knew that at that time of night, Shiki was in there. Takuma was alone in the room. I held Shikyo as I knocked on the door to the dorm of my best friend. Takuma opened it and greeted me. I entered and closed the door, placing Shikyo on the bedside chest.

Takuma glanced at the doll. I knew he was frightened of it. "Is something wrong, Kaname?" Takuma asked softly as he sat on his bed, as far away as possible from Shikyo.

I shook my head. "I just wanted to say something. You don't have to talk, Takuma. I just want you to listen." I walked up to him and ran my fingertips along his hairline and around his jaw. "You have a pretty tongue." Takuma frowned and opened his mouth. "This old man, he played one. He played knick-knack and ripped out his tongue," I chanted as I reached into Takuma's mouth and took hold of the muscle.

Takuma's brilliant green eyes widened in fear and tears filled them. He tried saying something but I hummed over any noise he made. I got a better hold of the tongue and, in one movement, ripped it from his mouth. I snapped his jaw shut so none of the blood would get on me. The little bit that was on my hand, I licked up.

I blinked and the movie stopped, disappeared. I shook my head, trying to clear away the memory of the blood I could taste when I woke up. "No," I said as I stepped back. "That wasn't me! Shikyo and Koori made me do it."

Zero sighed quietly. "Kaname, people do strange things when they're under a lot of stress. You had the Vampire Council breathing down your neck. No-one blames you for any of it."

"Zero, please, it wasn't me that did that! I would never hurt someone I care about." I could see that Zero believed me but at the same time, he looked at me as though he pitied me.

"Shall we see what you did Ruka?" Krad asked as he giggled psychotically.

I snarled and tackled the angel. I didn't want to see anymore of his lies. I didn't want to see anymore blood. And I didn't want to see them make me do something I know I would never do. From the corner of my eye, I could see myself walking down the hallway, Shikyo in my hand again. I entered the room that Ruka shared with Rima. I put Shikyo on the bedside chest and went back to my room.

Ruka knocked on my door and the conversation we had carried out as normal. When she walked away, I opened the door, picked up Shikyo and followed her. I knew that Rima would still be with Takuma and Shiki. I placed the doll on the bedside chest again and pretended to see something outside of the window. When Ruka turned around, I shattered the glass, making sure it pierced main veins and arteries as I hummed the little rhyme.

I narrowed my eyes at Krad as I punched him. "How dare you spread those sorts of lies? What gives you the right to slander my good name?"

"Kaname!" Zero called as he pulled me back.

"You can see him now?" I demanded. "You can see Krad? You're protecting him? Why would you do something like that? He's the reason all of this happened to me!"

"Kaname, there is no Krad!" Zero shouted. "There is no Krad, no Koori and no Shikyo. That doll you named Shikyo is something you found. Why are you acting like this? They doctors said you were getting better."

I blinked. My anger died down as confusion took over. "Doctors?" I repeated. "What doctors? What are you talking about?"

Zero took a deep breath. "Where do you think we are, Kaname?"

I looked around. Could he not see that were inside the rundown building that was once Hikari Dolls? Was he playing dumb for a reason? "We're at Hikari Dolls," I answered.

Zero shook his head. "There's no such place as Hikari Dolls, Kaname. I've already looked. I searched the entire world for it. It doesn't exist."

"But what about Krad?" I asked as I pointed to the angel that was on the ground. I frowned and scanned the shop. Where was he now? "Where did he go?"

"Krad doesn't exist, either, Kaname. He's someone that you made up."

I stared at Zero. He was treating me like I was crazy when he was the one that couldn't see the angel? He had walked with me to the store. He was the one that had told me that Headmaster had found where the shop was. "And what about the suicide of the fourteen year old boy? You were the one that told me about that."

"I was reading the news to you that day. Just because you're locked up doesn't mean you don't have to turn a blind eye to the outside world." Zero rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "Kaname, you had a psychotic break. The stress of everything that was going on was too much for you to handle. You invented Koori and Krad and Shikyo. You found a doll that you said reminded you of a doll that your sister had a decade ago."

"Why is everyone lying to me today? Krad is showing me images of me hurting my friends. You're trying to tell me that they don't exist. Zero, you spoke to Koori last night!" I was on the verge of tears. Why wasn't anyone listening to me? Why did they think I had created these people?

"Kaname, I haven't seen you in a month. There was no way that I could have been here when you say I was. I've been doing assignments for the Association." Zero released me and stepped back. "We're not in a store, Kaname. We're in a mental hospital. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to recover from everything that happened."

"No!" I shouted. "We are not in a hospital. We are at Hikari Dolls. It was a three hour long walk, Zero. You were with me. Why are you treating me like I'm crazy?"

Zero's eyes narrowed. "Fuck being gentle with you. Kaname, you are bat shit insane. I always thought I would be the one that went crazy first but you proved me wrong. This incessant babbling of yours about demonic angels and killer dolls and the spirits of little girls has gone on long enough. I hope that when Yuuki comes to visit you, they have you medicated."

Zero turned his back on me and walked out of the store. I stared after him. "That's not true," I muttered. Krad stood beside me. "Why can't he see you?"

"The store where you got Shikyo from? It wasn't called Hikari Dolls; it was called Hikari Designer Dolls. And it's because I'm not real. You're the only person that can see me, Kaname." Krad smirked and kissed my cheek.

"That can't be true. You served me, ten years ago. You told me that dolls have a life of their own."

Krad laughed. "I never expected you to go insane and kill Koori and her family, while forcing her to write that ridiculous letter. Face it, Kaname, you were pure evil from the start. Attacking your friends in a way that not even I would think of is a good indication of that."

I stared at the dirty floor of the store. "I couldn't have been responsible for it..." I looked at the counter and sat Shikyo standing on it. I walked over to her and studied her lifeless face. "Why did you do this to me?"

Krad appeared behind the counter. "We didn't do anything to you. You were the one that created us and used us as an excuse to hurt people. Monsters find each other, Kaname. You created us and found us." Krad stroked Shikyo's auburn locks. "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep."

"If I die before I wake," Shikyo said as her eyes flickered to me.

"I pray the Lord my soul to take."

I looked at the door to the store and saw Koori standing there. She was holding Shiro and grinning. I only wished that everyone else could see them. I guess I never stood a chance. I walked over to Koori and petted Shiro. I sat with my back to the door as I began to sing, "This old man, he played one..."

~ * ~
End.

I sincerely apologise for how long this took me to do. I had some other, more pressing matters to attend. Anyway, I'm hoping this wasn't the ending you were expecting. I hope that you enjoyed it and at some point, I will get around to editing this story. I noticed a lot of mistakes. But please ignore them.
I know that this chapter is short but I didn't want it to drag on too long. If it feels like it has been rushed, then I apologise for that as well. I really wanted to get it over and done with. Besides, Kaname's descent into madness was a lot of fun to write. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed typing it.

To everyone that has reviewed, thank you so much. It means a lot to me to know what you think. So please be sure to tell me what you think of the ending.

Thanks for all of your support.

D. Panthernopaeus.