Company Kids

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto… Sakura would have a harem. Which she doesn't, so I obviously don't own Naruto. I don't own Harry Potter either. Or Narnia. Or Maximum Ride. Or the Hunger Games. Basically, I don't own shit. I've accepted it.

A/N: Hurricane's coming! I'm a Maryland kid, so I'm super excited! MUAHAHAHA! I'm sleeping in our walk through closet. I'm setting up a blanket fort, portable DVD player, flashlights, marshmallows, books, soda, sketch pads, and various other things I thought I might need.

Dude, I'm excited.

But I thought I'd update before our internet/power went out, so here it is!~

Erm… Not yet! I actually have a new segment called 'That Awkward Moment'.

That awkward moment when you realize your curse mark is just a chakra infused hickey. (SASUKE!)

Now it's update time.

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I was perfectly happy. It was a lovely night with my absolute best friends. Ino went through my closet, insisting I borrow some of her more "fashionable" (Though I'd think the term more along the lines of suggestive) clothing. Kankouro was attempting to make me a giant rag doll to cheer me up. Temari was scarfing down lasagna like—Well, like Temari usually eats Mom's lasagna. It's delicious. Hinata was busy braiding my hair. Kimimaro, Lee, and Sai were sprawled on my floor, tossing a bouncy ball at each other.

Well, at least, that would've been nice. You know, if it actually happened.

Which it definitely didn't.

In fact, the others had just gone upstairs when the doorbell rang. I was just about to head up myseld. I wasn't going to answer, and I knew my mother wouldn't either. She was off in the kitchen anyway. So, they were just going to be locked outside. I could definitely live with that.

Until Gaara broke my damn door down.

I shrieked loudly, jumping away, "You just broke the door," I sent an accusing glare his way, "You're paying for that!"

"Well," Sasuke gave a glance to the stairs, "You're coming with us." He grabbed my wrist, yanking me towards the door.

"Mom," I shouted, "I'm being kidnapped! Call the police!" I was a decently strong teenage girl, but I wasn't god damn superman. Let's be honest here. Sasuke had muscles. I was a tiny pink haired girl. So, obviously, I was dragged out and thrown into the back of a very suspicious looking black van.

Ah, those heart-warming classic kidnapper/rapist clichés. I scream and kick and bite, but he tosses my into the back, jumping in himself and closing the doors.

I heard my friends shouting my name. Well, this night isn't going well. Not at all.

After releasing a string of curses, I sat against the side. The floor was carpeted, but the lighting was normal. I studied the inside, and noted—as I suspected—that the van was full of Company Kids. I shot an accusing glare at all of them, "I hope you all go to jail!" I darted for the back doors, but Sasuke yanked me back.

Then Itachi fucking sat on me.

FML? Indeed.

For about a half hour, I sat like that—my lungs compressed to Itachi's muscle induced weight, and in an overall miserable situation. Though my face was pressed in the carpet, I could life it up enough to make out a few things. Sasori was driving, and Deidara was asleep on the passenger's side. Gaara was sitting close to the rear door. Neji was sitting with his back propped against the driver's seat. Sasuke was sitting opposite of Gaara. Kiba and Akamaru were next to Sasuke. Itachi was still sitting on top of me, the condescending bastard.

Then there was Naruto, who was apologizing profusely. I made a point of ignoring him, finding a particularly interesting spot on the rug to glare at.

"Stop being in such a bad mood," Neji reprimanded after ten more minutes of facing the wrath of my angry face, "You can't jump out of a moving vehicle, and we're not going to jail."

Itachi finally got off of me, and I immediately sat up, sending him a particularly heated death glare. "You're right. You're not going to jail, and neither will I," I gave a sweet smile. "After all," I lunged forward, wrapping my fingers around Itachi's neck, "there'll be no damn evidence left!"

Itachi fell backwards, and managed to pry my hands away, flipping us over.

It was then that I realized what a provocative position we were in. I turned bright red, squeaking, "G-get off of me! C-cooties!"

Itachi smirked, leaning in, "What, you don't like this, Sa-ku-ra? I think you do." His crimson eyes met my emerald ones.

"Don't harass her!" Naruto tackled Itachi, slamming him into the side of the van. I immediately jumped to the side of the van. After all, I didn't want to get caught in a—Is the term dog fight?

"What the hell?" Sasori shouted, "Don't rock the van, you crazy bastards!" What was up with the van anyway? These people could certainly afford a car that—

Oh god.

"I need a seatbelt!" I shouted, nodding enthusiastically.

Gaara scowled, "It's not that much more. You'll be fine."

"No," I met his glare with an equally vicious and commanding one of my own, "It's a rule in Zombieland! I need a seatbelt!" I'm also extremely paranoid about bathrooms and jog every day. I mean, knowing me, I'd still get caught—But hey, at least I'd have been prepared. Maybe I could survive it out.

"There's no such thing as zombies," Sasuke muttered, looking me as if I was a ridiculously paranoid believer in an upcoming zombie apocalypse.

Hey, it's possible, okay? Don't judge. Besides, they don't even necessarily have to be zombies, per se. They could be… cannibals… You know, pot head cannibals with a severe case of the munchies and an incredibly high pain tolerance. Same thing, right?

Due to my perhaps irrational fear of zombies, I also have an irrational fear of cemeteries. And lightning. And the ocean. I can't swim, and there are jellyfish, sharks, and festering Titanic (Plus various other origins) corpses.

"When your eyes are being eaten like meatballs, I'll make sure to remind you that your assailant doesn't exist," I huff, "So where are we going anyway?"

"It's a surprise," Neji offered a small smile.

"Great," I drawled sarcastically. "So, anyone have any food? No?" I glanced around, and when I didn't receive a response, I lay down and turned my back to them.

I shouldn't have said it. I really shouldn't have. It was going too far, even if it was true. They may have kidnapped me, but it's not like their serial killers. At least, as far as I'm aware. I still couldn't stop the words from escaping my lips.

"You know, I hate you guys."

The loud, sleepy and obnoxious voice of Deidara spoke just before my eyes shut, "Are we in Puerto Rico yet?"

Uh, what?

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A/N: WOO! Hurricane! If I die, I'll let you know. I probably won't, unless I get hit by a tree.

There are no trees by my house.

Or a car.

We live next to a bunch of drunks. They don't have cars.

Or a poorly built house.

….. That's a possibility. Seriously downed my mood.

Maybe that's why this chapter is so mean. Sakura's being a big meanie in this (But you know, they did kinda sorta totally kidnap her.)

This update's Sakucentric Spotlight is…

The Boys who Loved Flowers by Hi-Mb-Ee-Re

Sakura has a really good story going on here. It's like a self-discovery, new beginning type of thing. I love it. Though, I really hate Ino. Sincere hate. Plus, Konan totally rescued her in the first chapter. AKATSUKI, SQUEE!~ I recommend it, it's very well written.

G.C.