A/N: I don't own Hetalia or any of it's characters. Thank you all for your lovely reviews and favorites! I appreciate it. I don't own Journey either, "Wheel in the Sky" belongs to them. I just borrowed a line : P
It had been years since Feliks looked back on things. Before prison, before everything really, he had been a fairly happy kid. In fact, what he hadn't mentioned to Toris was the fact that Feliks used to be friends with Ivan- or at least they hadn't always hated each other. In fact he remembered a day a long time ago that Kiku, Romano, Ivan and himself had all been in a park. They'd tossed the Frisbee back and forth, Ivan running in what Kiku called 'the fat man run' and Romano had been close to him. Veneziano of course had been Feliks' friend as well, as Romano was Veneziano's older brother and they were together often as children.
And Ivan had only been joking when he'd push the young blond on the swing or toss him the Frisbee and joke 'I'll annex you!' and it had been funny. A reference to their pasts, something to tie them together… and now that tie was the very thing that Feliks was sure that would be the death of him. "Hey, I can never shut you up usually. What'cha thinking about Pole?" Gilbert burst into his thoughts. "Wait, don't say anything, you might get blood in your mouth. Never mind." Gilbert said, that stupid creepy laugh echoing down the hall. Sadly, it only furthered the memories that Feliks was reminiscing. There is only one person whose laugh even compares in the creepy factor- and that was Ivan. Somehow another memory came into his mind… something that now would have made Feliks think when back then it had been said so innocently.
They were in the car; Romano, Ivan, Kiku and himself. The road was stretched out far in front of them, and Romano and Feliks were sharing the backseat while the front was occupied by Kiku and Ivan. "You know what would be the best cure for a hangover?" Ivan asked. Feliks' polish accent had been so much stronger back then, his w's pronounced clearly as v's. No one ever said anything of it. "What?" He had asked. "Vodka!" Ivan said cheerfully, and the entire car was filled with laughter. "You so roud. You need to be quiet." Kiku told Ivan, but a smile was playing on his lips. "Roud isn't a word, Kiku. And it's fine, I'm deep and sensitive." Ivan answered. Romano chuckled, "Yeah don't worry, Russians know everything about snow." He said. Feliks grinned, "Yeah! He'd like, jump off a building and like, the officer would be like, 'what the hell, the suspect went this way!' and then run off." He contributed. Romano added, "And then Ivan would walk around the building, holding the suspect by the back of the shirt and say 'Vodka?'" The car burst into laughter again. "You should totes become a cop Ivan, like seriously." Feliks had said, smiling at the Russian in front. "I should drink more vodka. And the wheeeeeeeel in the sky keeps on turninggg!" He sang, and quite off key. "By Poland rule, I like think you should shut up." Feliks said, but laughed. "See? You roud." Kiku said. "Become one with mother Russia." Ivan said, looking over at him. "…Be quiet and I consider."Kiku joked. "Yeah you need a silencer on that gun Ivan, or else it'll be too roud." Feliks mocked, and everyone laughed again.
That memory had been dear to him. That memory he'd never mention to anyone else, because it would taint the memory with all that had happened since. Ivan breaking away from the group, terrorizing Feliks, and eventually the friendship with Natalia that had destroyed the last foundation that Feliks had set for himself. He was sick of being angry, and he wondered how someone like Toris could deal with what he once had been so comfortable with. And yet, Feliks wouldn't give anything to go back to that, he had long since been past the 'what if' stage. Especially when he stood in jail, confused and scared as someone as young and inexperienced as himself should be. If Alfred hadn't been around and seen him for what he was, Feliks feared he would have been in a worse place. He felt nothing for the loud American except possible friendship, but he was grateful- silently- for the help the American had provided.
Feliks suddenly found himself being shoved inside a room and a shower immediately doused him in lukewarm water that pelted him like a paintball gun. Feliks shrieked, not that he'd admit it, and shifted uncomfortably under the water until Gilbert came in and examined him. "Well, you're far better off than you were. That idiot Lithuanian better have the sense to clean up after he takes care of that body." Gilbert muttered. Feliks smiled a bit before he scowled. "Like… I'm soaked. And I feel disgusting." Gilbert rolled his eyes, "Welcome to prison." Feliks flipped him the bird and went over to the pile of clothes waiting for him, changing quickly. "Right so now to like, find Liet." Gilbert snorted. "We have to test you." Feliks groaned, "That'll take days Gilbert." He sighed, "You're not an exception because you're a prisoner too Feliks." Feliks snorted at his albino companion. "You were just looking for an excuse to lock me up somewhere." Gilbert smirked, a bit smugly. "You did that for yourself, my friend." Feliks teeth clicked with how fast he clenched his jaw shut.
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Without the Polish man around- again- life had gotten boring. It had been three days since the incident of 563D and he was still confused by everything that had happened there. It wasn't the case necessarily, a cellmate killed the other with a shank that they had hidden in a large wooden cross and that was that. It was more Feliks. Toris was confused by his own actions toward the blond- the hug, holding his hand in his… he had never been a touchy person and for him to act so warmly toward Feliks whom he'd only known a few months and had admitted to killing someone- that confused him. And also Feliks' expression. He'd looked… not remorseful really, it had been self-defense; but more like he was pained. Maybe it was that he'd killed a girl he once considered a friend and it was no wonder he was touchy about it. But the way he'd acted when the Russian was mentioned… it was odd.
"I wonder…" Toris mused out loud, watching the cells as he sat in the guard watchtower. "You wonder?" Feliks repeated, sounding tired. "Feliks! How are you?" Toris asked, turning to look at him. "Like, do your job moron. The cells are out there, unless of course I'm either so pretty you can't stop staring… or if I've got something on my face. If it's the last part, tell me now 'cause that's totes gross." Feliks said, watching him with something like amusement in his expression. "No… you don't have anything on your face." Toris looked over at the cells again, his cheeks darkening a bit. "Mm, but you never answered the pretty part." Feliks teased. "I don't have to. You already know what you are." Toris shrugged. There was a moment of awkward silence, and Toris' face darkened further as he realized he'd just hit on his companion. "You've got that right." Feliks finally responded, but he sounded pleased. Toris refused to look at him, just stared at the cells intently. "Toris…" Feliks suddenly said. Toris looked over at the blond, who now looked very awkward. "Yes?" Toris asked finally. "You listened to me and didn't judge me for that. I… appreciate it." Feliks said, looking at the cells. Toris smiled a bit, "I don't think you're a bad person." Toris smiled. Feliks chuckled. "We'll see on Judgment day. I already know the answer though. I'm going to hell." Toris frowned a little. "It wasn't your fault though-" Feliks shook his head, the smile still on his lips. "No Toris, not for that. You can go to hell for a lot of things." Toris raised an eyebrow. "Such as…? I've never really been exposed to many religious ideas." Feliks looked at him, his eyes staring so directly into the lithuanian's that he almost had the feeling the polish man was staring into his soul.
"I don't know if I believe in everything religious. I do believe God loves everyone, even those who have made mistakes, or were forced to fight for their lives… or those who love someone of the same gender." He seemed to be searching for something there. "Well even if he doesn't… does that bother you?" Toris asked. Feliks cocked his head to the side. "What do you believe?" Toris smiled, "I don't believe in anything really. I have ideas, and none of them one complete belief." Feliks seemed both pleased and disappointed. "I like someone for who they are, not what they believe." Toris shrugged. Feliks blinked slowly. "What do you like… think of someone who likes other girls, or other men?" Toris shrugged. "I don't really know to be honest." Feliks shoulders went rigid for a moment, but then nodded and looked out over the cells. "Why do you ask Feliks?" Toris finally asked. Feliks smiled, "No reason. Like, anyway that was inappropriate. Excuse my prying." Feliks flicked a hand out, waving it in dismissal like he was dismissing his own words. "You weren't prying. I enjoy talking to you." Toris said softly.
Feliks looked at him again, his expression searching again. "I have a lot of secrets, Liet. I like, really hope you don't end up like this one day." He said. "Secrets?" Toris repeated. "Everyone has them. I don't think I could hate you if I wanted to, Feliks." Toris responded. For a moment the blond stood, his cheeks faintly flushing a soft pink. "I… don't say things like that Liet." He suddenly muttered, looking away. "Like what? I meant it. I already know you killed someone in self-defense. I still like you." He said, and he watched the pink darken a little. "Like that." Feliks said. "Don't promise things Liet, like seriously." He said, clearing his throat. "I will promise, because it's true. I do like you Feliks. You're a good person." Feliks breathed in sharply, and then smiled a little before he shook his head. "You're insane Liet. Like, no wonder knowing who you work with. Anyway, I like… am going to go do a patrol or something." He slipped off down the stairs quickly. It took Toris a long moment to realize Feliks said 'like' a lot more when he was nervous.
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*Interesting fact: About 90% of Polish residents are part of the Roman Catholic faith. In this little "getting to know each other" type of chapter, Feliks is explaining that he believes in God; of course but he also believes in interpretation. I mean absolutely no offense, and the "I'm going to hell" joke as well as Feliks' memory were all related to a bit of life events that happened personally and were added to add a bit of humor. In fact the reason Feliks even mentioned it was because he wanted to know what Toris would say. He's fishing for facts lol. Anyway, once again, I mean no offense.